Testing Survival Tools That Are Only Legal in Emergencies

I bought survival tools that you're only allowed to use in survival situations. And I'm going to test each one to see if they save YOUR LIFE OR NOT. Starting with these matches that claim to be waterproof. So, this is what a normal match does. Light it up. And it already went out. Let's try another one. Okay. Instantly goes out in water. Not very useful if it's raining or if they get wet. But now let's look at the waterproof matches. Wow, these are crazy. Look, it's all orange. I've never seen a match this sturdy. All

right, let's strike it. Woah. So, now apparently, if I dip it in water, look, it's bubbly. And take it out. Woah, it just reignited again. I've never seen anything like this. Oh man, I better put this out before it burns my fingers. All right, that was insane. But I want to try this again. This time, I'm going to dip it in water and then try to strike it. Woah. It lit again. Even though it was wet, it still lit. Let's put it back in this water, why not? It starts bubbling. It's in there for a while. Here we go.

Take it out. Oh, it's back on again. This would come in handy if you were trying to survive. I got to give this five stars. But these survival items only get crazier. Look at this next one. The next tool I brought is a pocket chainsaw to see if it can actually saw this log in half. But first, let's see how long it takes compared to a normal chainsaw. 3 2 1 GO. OH MAN. THAT WAS WAY EASIER. This is working though. I feel it going through. Almost through. Woah. I think we got it now, though. I think I got it. There we go.

I did it. Wow, it cut straight through. Definitely not as fast as a regular chainsaw, but you can't carry a chainsaw in your pocket like this. With this, my chances of surviving are looking pretty high. I'm going to give this one four stars. Now, what I'm holding looks like an air horn, but it's actually a bear horn. It's so loud it's meant to scare up any bears that may be nearby. Now, this is a normal air horn, and I'm going to use the sound meter to see how loud it is. Cover your ears. Ow. I think it said 50.2. Now, we got the bear horn, but I got to put some ear plugs in for this one. All right, everyone cover your ears. Here we go.

125.7. Wow, that was much louder. And that's why this is illegal if you use it in public, because it could cause a public disturbance. This thing really works, but I don't know how useful it is when it comes to survival. I'm going to give it two stars. I bought a flashlight which claims to be 2 million lumens, which as a comparison, an iPhone is 50 lumens. Let's turn it on and see. Oh. That's not that impressive. I was expecting it to be way brighter. If this was pitch black, obviously it would help. But for 2 million lumens, I feel like a little bit of false advertising. Even right here in front of

me, it's not that bright. If this really was super bright, it could be illegal if you put it in someone's eyes, because it could damage their vision, and that would be assault and battery. What else does it do? It does strobe lights for dancing. Look at me dance. Whoa. Cool dance party while I'm trying to survive in the wilderness. Hope I don't die. Oh, it's got a little side flashlight. Oh, and then I can pretend like I'm the police. Not what I need when I actually need the police to find me. This is just one star. Can you see me? I'm currently somewhere on screen. It's a ghillie suit and it's used by military snipers, hunters, and wildlife photographers to blend in with their surroundings. I kind of look like a

green Bigfoot. This thing is actually pretty lightweight though and I'm not that hot in it. This could also be cool if you're paintballing or playing airsoft. Now, for as much fun as I know it is to hide in plain sight and not be spotted, it requires great responsibility because sometimes people will use these to hide in bushes while they're ding dong ditching, which is illegal and could be considered trespassing or disorderly conduct. So, if you're buying one of these, make sure you're using it legally and not to mess with innocent people. I don't really see how this is necessary to survive, so I don't think I'd have it in my toolkit.

I'm going to give this one two stars. This water is extremely dirty, but this Lifestraw claims to filter out 99.999% of bacteria. So, I'm going to try this water and see how it tastes. Oh. I'm not excited for this. All right, so I pop this top off. The top here is like a straw. And then I got to stick this in here. Oh, this looks so disgusting. Do I have to do this? Yep. Oh. Oh, I don't want to do this, man. I hope this works because if it doesn't, I'm going to be very upset.

The water tastes fine. I guess it's clear. Seems to work though, which is pretty incredible because there was a lot of dirt and nasty stuff in here. I mean, look at this. And the reason they say it's 99.999% is because if someone gets sick using it, then it's no longer 100%. So, this gives them some deniability. I really hope I don't get sick though. What do you I have to do another sip? Do it, Mike. Do it, Mike. I don't want to. Do it, Mike. No, don't chant my name. Do it, Mike. No. Ah, there's like nasty things swimming in here.

Straw by Mike. Ah. Wow, it comes out clean. This thing really works and water is one of the most important things when you're trying to survive. So, this tool gets five stars. When you're out in the wilderness, you never know what you're going to eat and the military didn't want people relying on hunting or cooking to get food. So, they made MREs, meals ready to eat. These meals are meant to last so long that they don't even have expiration dates on them. All right, we have two different packs. I'm going to try the pepperoni pizza meal first. This looks like it's pepperoni pizza. Oh, this looks interesting.

It's not bad. Kind of reminds me of those Lunchable pizzas I used to eat as a kid. Honestly, if I was out here and surviving, I'd be pretty happy that I had this. All right, let's try the next thing. An oatmeal cookie. Wow, look at that. This looks like a nice cookie. Mhm. This is a good cookie, actually. I'm actually going to say this is a good piece of food. All right, we got cheese spread with jalapeno and vegetable crackers. Here's a cracker. Tastes like a normal cracker, nothing too crazy.

Look at that. It's like little cheese whiz. Mhm. That's pretty good. The cracker is a little chalky. It's kind of like dry tasting, but the cheese whiz is really good. And then for dessert, apple pieces in spice sauce. Wow, look at that. Yum. All right. Mhm. That's good. Look at these big chunks of apple. Mhm. I like this as a dessert. This tastes really good. All right, now let's compare it to this next meal. Cheese tortellini in tomato sauce. Oh, that sounds good. It's crazy on here. It says US government property, war fighter recommended, war fighter tested, war fighter approved. Let's compare this one though. All right, first up, this is the cheese tortellini.

All right. Whoa, look at this. It smells good. Let's see how it tastes though. I kind of like it. It's like not hot pasta, you know? Like if someone left their pasta out on the counter for a long time. But it still tastes pretty good. Overall, I like the pepperoni pizza meal more. I'm more of a pizza person than a pasta. Plus, it came with dessert. Those apples were really good. All in all, these are amazing to have in your survival toolkit. I mean, you don't have to cook anything and you stop yourself from going hungry. These are a must-have. I'm going to give them five stars. Next, I have two tents.

One claims to set up within seconds and the other is just a normal tent. Let's see if this is true. I did these bendy pole things here. Uh, this is the going to hold it up. They're going to do it kind of a crisscross applesauce in the middle here. Oh, man, he's moving. Uh, I'm still Now I got to get the other end over here like this and it kind of bends. I don't know how to do it. This is my first time using this tent. Uh, we'll get this right here. Uh, oh, he is done. LATER.

YOU LOST. YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE. STOP, I'M COMING IN. OH, NO, YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK IT. WELL, this product was very quick. Super easy to use actually. That was my first time ever using it. Look at the difference. His is still a mess. He didn't even get close to it. This set up almost instantly. I got to give this one five stars. Next I have a flamethrower. Well, actually a flame torch. It's sleek. It's compact. Kind of looks like a James Bond weapon. Come on, baby. Oh! There we go! Woah! THIS THING'S CRAZY! WOO! WOW, LOOK AT THAT GO! That's a pretty big flame. Flamethrowers are legal in all states except for Maryland. But in California you have to have a permit if it's over a certain amount of feet. This is just a flame

torch, so it's actually legal everywhere. You can use on grills, bonfires, anything that needs a fire. Woah! Look at that. This would definitely come in handy for survival. Everybody needs fire. I'm going to have to give this five stars. Now if you're in the wilderness, you're going to need to survive during the night. So I bought some night vision goggles that also allows you to see what it looks like at night. I can see almost everything. Woah! This works pretty well. I got to see if my friend over there Oh, he's holding two fingers. I can perfectly see it. And this thing is pretty lightweight and easy to use. So you don't need this to survive, but I guess it could help you

if you get lost at night. I'm going to give it two stars. It does actually work though. This shovel claims to be both a shovel and a saw. So I'm going to test it against the pocket chainsaw to see if you had to pick one, which one would be better in your survival toolkit. 3 2 1 go! Ah! This is hard. I miss that pocket chainsaw. Oh man, this is barely putting a dent in it. No! This is going to take forever. Ah! Ah. Oh, man. It's not working that great as a saw. Ah. It's just only okay as a shovel. I don't know, I'm going to have to give this one two stars. It doesn't really work as a saw and the shovel's just okay. If I had

to pick one tool to have in my survival tool kit, it'd be the pocket chainsaw. What would you pick? This is a necklace that has a piece of steel and flint attached to it, which means Minecraft was accurate with this. So, if I take this steel and strike this flint, it creates sparks, which can start a fire. Whoa, you see that? Whoa, look at those sparks. What's crazy is if you cut the necklace open, it has all these strands. These ones right here will help you start a fire if you light a spark on it. And then it has this red one, which is actually waterproof and it's a fire starter. And it even has this yellow one here, which is a fishing line. This thing is so useful, it's insane. But, you have to make sure that you don't just randomly start fires with

it because if you do that intentionally, that could be arson and you would be responsible for all the damages. Whoa, look at that. This is so easy to use and you can wear it. And it starts one of the most important things you need for survival, a fire. I'm going to give this five stars. This is a high-powered laser. It's extremely bright and powerful. Let me show you. Look at that. You can see the green laser right there. And when there's fog out, it almost looks like a lightsaber cuz it creates a beam. And this could help you when you're surviving so people can spot you. But, if you misuse it, you

can get in a lot of trouble. There's been cases with these laser pointers where someone thinks it's funny to point them at planes flying up ahead. But, that's extremely dangerous because the beam could distract a pilot or temporarily affect their vision. I'm still having residual effects with my left eye can feel. Plus, it's against federal law with a punishment of up to 5 years in prison and some really expensive fines. I guess this could help you get found in a survival situation, but that's the only thing it could do. And honestly, it's probably more trouble than help. I'm going to give it one star. And in case you need to clean up a mess, or just take care of yourself, this little puck doesn't look like much, but once you add it to water,

look at that. It expands into a washcloth. Look at that. Now, this could come in handy if you're trying to wash yourself off, need to wash your face, or your hands. So, I have to say, even though this works, this item is probably the least useful one when trying to survive. So, I'm going to give it two stars. Now, when you got to go, you got to go. And someone made a portable kit that has everything you need, just in case. All right, let's see what it has in here. It's got wet wipes. We have a log of the bathroom. A lot of information you don't really want to put down there about your bathroom activities. I don't know why you would need that when you're surviving. A door tag?

There's no door tags out in the wilderness. That doesn't make any sense. And a diaper? This looks really uncomfortable, and kind of small. I don't know what this would be holding. And plus, when nature calls, I don't think you want to put it in a diaper. Just use nature. This wouldn't even be good to wear as underwear. It looks super uncomfortable. Maybe you could use it to light a fire. Not a fire in your pants. Then we got a bag here, biohazard bag. I guess this is like to pick up after yourself, like a dog. That doesn't make any sense. What's this?

This is an odor protector. I guess you put it over your nose like this, and then you can't smell anything. This could come in handy when my cameraman, Joel, goes to the bathroom. Ooh, wee. You don't want to know what that smells like. Ugh. Overall, this would not really help you to survive. It's pretty hilarious, though, but I got to give it one star. But how does a mini bow compare to a real bow? I set up an archery challenge to see the difference between the two. First, the real bow and arrow. There we go. Hit the target. All right, let's try the mini bow and arrow. This thing so small. What the heck? I guess you just put it here. This is not made well. Let's try it out. Here goes

nothing. What the heck? This thing so small. It hit the target. What? Oh my gosh. I can't believe it worked that well. Oh my gosh. I didn't think it would shoot that far at all. I thought I was going to have to walk all the way towards it. And the accuracy was a little better than the real bow and arrow. This thing won't actually help you hunting though because the tips aren't that sharp. I'm going to have to give it two stars though cuz I was pretty impressed that it launched that far. These are survival items in my top three that might be worth adding to your survival kit. But just make sure you use these tools

carefully because in the wrong place they could get you in some legal trouble. To see other people that got in legal trouble, click the video here.