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I just bought this bike from Walmart, and in 5 days, I'm going to try to return it with a few very small modifications. So, here's the big question. What if a bike had sword wheels? Like, picture Squidward's bike, but instead of the paddles, it's swords. And more important than that question, would I still be able to ride it? Here's the plan. Take off and disassemble the wheel, cut up a ton of swords to use on our bike, weld those swords to the bike wheel, take the whole bike back to Walmart to see if they'll accept the return, and just to be safe, I bought the warranty. wasted your money on that warranty. They ain't taking this thing back. 0% chance.
Kelly is my beautiful assistant for this task. He's been mountain biking for years, and he's also the craftiest person I know. So, when I thought of the idea for a sword bike, he's the first person I asked to help. They won't take it back even with the swords. We removed half the bike, and we plan to return it. I think they'll give us a refund. hope they do, cuz it's going to suck if we're out $500. I visited the first Walmart in the world, right? And they had a wall of all the crazy things that were returned. There's a small chance that they accept our return.
Unfortunately, Kelly's about to tell me something that's going to complicate this whole process. You have thoughts. I have a confession. We What do you mean? You know when we were picking out bikes that were weldable? Yeah, we picked this bike $500 cuz it was weldable. This bike's not weldable. You said it was weldable. Okay, well, listen, listen, listen, listen, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, you We just dropped $500 on a bike, and you're telling me it's not weldable?
I thought it through. I got a master plan. It's going to work anyways, even though we can't weld it. Our plan is to reinvent the wheel. Right now, the hubs that we were going to attach the swords to are circles. That's cringe. We're going to cut them into squares. Then, we're going to seal the hubs in a 1/4-in steel jacket, weld on our swords, and give them some support. Then, take the bike back to Walmart and get our money back. I think we need to remove this kickstand for maximum weight reduction and adequate trail compatibility. We're taking this on trails when we put SWORDS ON IT?
SQUIRREL'S GETTING EVAPORATED. HOW TO TAKE WHEELS OFF? NO, I have no idea. Wait, yes, I do. Here's what I'm going to do. we need to make these bad boys tubeless. I think we're going to upgrade this to a Fox 34. Oh, you're getting the next wheel, dude. Golly! You just back it up like this. Whoop! And then you get the wheel back. before I can use the bolt cutters on these thimbly little wires right here, we need to remove the cassette and the disc brake, which I straight up don't know how to do. like six screws. We could just unscrew
those, but I don't know about the cassette. What you twerking with? I think you got it. I see movement. LET'S GO! NOW it's time to use the bolt cutters. POV, you're a crab. It's time to cut the hubs into little squares, and to do that, Kelly has a sharp Innovation that excites. Is there any way to take it off? No, this is one piece. This is literally One piece? One piece mention. Kelly said the words one piece, which reminded me to tell you that we actually sell swords like this one and boy howdy even this one. And you can
get them right now at minikatan.com. Don't you want to do that right now? Please click the link in the bio. It's a good time, I promise. Square is drawn and it is beautiful. Let's make it more than drawn. While Kelly cut the hubs into squares, I started cutting a steel sheet into rectangles that would soon become our hub jacket. Piece number one done. I was about to use the plasma cutter on the second cut when I realized that even though the cut itself is way faster using this, the setup time is about six times as long. So, I think I'm just going to All right, so now that all of our Pokémon cards are cut out, we need to make sure that this one fits the first wheel. So, I'm going to have Kelly here weld this together. And then once he's
welded all of this together, we're going to test to see if it fits on the wheel and test to see if the weld wiggles at all cuz if it does, then need to fix that problem. Well, it looks like it fits to me. I'm going to lock it in place by putting little triangles on each corner. And you could cut triangles out of these. [screaming] THAT WAS HOT. I don't understand it. We're done. Look at that. This looks like a really bad Transformers cube.
Autobots. All my inner side. All right, well, that looks absolutely hideous, but it is hopefully functional. My next step, I'm going to grind these bad boys down and make them nice and shiny-ish. Make them 10% better than what they look like right now. Like I have a lot of faith in this project all of a sudden. That's funny because I had the opposite feeling. This bike was probably 30 lb, 32 lb before. This just added like 8 lb. I think we have to try this. Wait, which way does it go? It goes this way.
I don't know if this will work without the disc brake. Wait, this is the wrong axle. I'm going to cut paper with chopsticks. The fact that this is going to work with gears and brakes. All we have to do from here is attach swords. Just weld swords. And there will be swords attached. This is incredible. I can't believe this was so easy. There is one small problem. Actually, it's pretty big problem. Now that the hubs are done, we're left with one big problem that could stop this project dead in its tracks. I don't have enough swords to build this bike. I know that sounds insane, but just hear
me out for a second. If I use only katanas, the blades are so stiff that they would risk shattering with me on top of them. Katanas are also so sharp that if I tried to ride on grass, dirt, or even concrete, the sword will stab into the ground, stopping the bike where it is, and making it impossible to ride. There is another option though. Long swords would be a perfect option because they're flexible enough to not shatter with me on top of it, and they're also wide enough to not immediately stab into the ground. The problem is that I would need about 16 of the same sword in order to finish this bike, and I don't have that. So, the project's done, right? I just can't finish my bike.
Is what I would be saying if I didn't know that Kelly stole my credit card and bought three Honda Civics worth of long swords. That's right. Inside these crates are enough swords to fill up three jacuzzis. Except they're not going in jacuzzis, they're about to become our wheels. Here's how. Kelly, you had an idea? Okay, okay, okay. We've got these two options for our sword wheels, right? We're going to use eight swords per wheel as I hold up the number four. This has a much higher chance of failure in my opinion because like even just trying to line these screws up correctly, it's all caddywampus. But our second option is way easier because
we'll just have the swords sticking directly outwards in every direction and then we can add little support beams as needed. Only to one side though so that they can flex. Tip is directly touching the ground and stabbing into it and then the next sword comes by and it's just going to be repeatedly And then we just angle those at a 45, right? That's what I just said. So I think my idea would work. THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. GOOD JOB, PETER. WOW, THEY'RE FREAKING LIKE THIS. AND THEN IT THAT would totally work. And then when we ride the bike all the swords go They go all over the place stabbing we put the sheaths on them.
Oh, we got to put the sheaths on it. All right, we have all of our lines drawn and now for the important bit. Who can cut them the faster? Hey Kelly, you think you can cut them faster than I can? Yeah, I think you're about to be in for a rude awakening. We're going to see who can cut these swords up the fastest and whoever wins gets a donut. I don't know. Who can angle grind the fastest? We got four swords each. Ready? Three, two, one, go. I got my work cut out for me here. This is insane. Uh-oh. Clamping That's costing you. 1:33. How did you move that fast? That's insane.
Peter's turn. Ready? Three, TWO, ONE, GO. KELLY, 10 SECONDS in and he already cut a sword. HOW THE HECK? WHY ARE YOU THROWING SWORDS? HE'S on a mission. [screaming] Hold on. Let's check the quality of those cuts. What the freak is that? So, I think it would be easiest if we tacked the hub and then weld it while it's on here so that we know it's in line while we tack it. We just tack them all in place and then we can take it off and actually weld them on. I can agree with that. I can't do this. What? That looks just like Squidward's bind.
Try and get it to spin all the way around. Almost halfway done. The sword bike is done. However, before we ride it, I'm going to put together a metal fender for the back to make this thing about 9% safer, you know? If anything goes wrong, fall backwards, we don't fall into a paper shredder, we fall onto a metal fender. I'm going to put that together right now. This entire video has led towards us returning this bike to Walmart, but first we have to test it. And just for comedic effect, we added a horn. If you picture a clown horn, this is the first thing comes to mind. How fast can you run with it? Oh my gosh. I should probably just test it, right?
Hit that sprint. I think we got to go on grass and then you try it. Do grass first before we ruin the blades. Yeah, okay. On the grass, that's 100% working. All right, let's see it then. I think you got to at least make it to that tree over there. All right, ready? Let's do it. 3 2 1 Oh, he's stuck. to put it in the easiest gear it's got. Pick up the back. My bad, my bad, my bad. Pick up the back. No, that's not moving. Yo, yes it is. No, it's not, dude. Swear.
I got it. Look at this. You are [clears throat] literally just digging into the ground. Oh my gosh, THAT WAS LIKE GOLLY. NO, IT'S OKAY, GUYS. I CAN DO IT. NO, I CAN DO IT. COME Give yourself like a jump start. That's not how it works. All right, so this does not work on grass. My guess is that it also doesn't work on dirt if I were to. Grass and dirt is a no-go. We can't do it. But before we try concrete, we're going TO TRY GRAVEL. BOLD STRATEGY, COTTON. Let's see if it works. Start further. Woah. I think that could work. Hang on. Three, two, one.
COME ON, BABY. YEAH! IT WENT. IT WENT FOR A ROTATION. I'm counting that. Try this dirt. This might be harder than over there for some reason. Yeah, this guy Talk about hard dirt. It needs to be aerated. This is the best aerator on Earth. Imagine you go out front, you see your neighbor. That's not happening. I am glad that I'm wearing shin guards right now cuz I just tried to stand on this. The pedal just came back, clipped me in the shin. Didn't feel it at all. You don't think you could do it? No. I try it. I don't have protection.
You don't need protection. You just told me the protection saved you. YOU'LL BE FINE. WOAH! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE SWINGING, that big guy. Talking about it doesn't WORK. NO, IT WORKS PERFECTLY. NO WAY. to put it in a higher gear. You got chiggy legs. Hopefully this is not the Titanic type of voyage. Let's see it. I can't get my foot on the pedal. Why was I so It's not so easy, huh? I just need to put some gas in it. I need clipless pedals. Yeah, I think it might work on concrete.
WOAH! OH! [screaming] OH, NO WAY! IT WORKS! MY MOM'S GOING TO BE SO DISAPPOINTED. SHE told me exclusively over the course of multiple days not to do this. That's the most successful run that we've had. Now, let's test it on concrete. I'm so excited for this. Look at these holes this thing's putting in the ground. Oh, that's a whole fingernail, brother. All right, Peter, your goal is to make it from there all the way over here and run this melon. Three, two, ONE. GO, GO, GO, GO. OH, HE'S MOVING. THERE'S SO MANY NOISES. COME ON. HE'S MOVING. YEAH, BABY!
[screaming] YEAH, LET'S GO! LET'S DO IT! WOAH! YEAH, CRAZY! WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT, HE ACTUALLY SLICED IT. NO WAY. THAT THING GOT CUT IN HALF. OH! That was pitiful. LOOK THAT. The sword bike works. It's still intact. Look at that, it's still got blood and JUICE ON IT. GO, DUDE. Let's return this bike to Walmart. After packing up the bike on top of Kelly's car, it was finally time to try and return it. And I'm really scared. What if they kick us out? What if they call the police on us? And what if we end up going to jail over this stupid bike? These were the things we were thinking as we walked right in
front of security and over to customer service. Well, that was easy, but we still have to try and return this bike. This is where something happened that we could have never predicted. Uh I wanted to make a return. My wife bought this bike for our kids and it's like crazy dangerous. It's got these like looks like swords all over it. Online it didn't say that it came with a horn. Uh yeah, it did. But even with the receipt, there's no way they're actually going to accept this return, right? It's 50% long sword at this point. But what happened next, I almost couldn't believe.
Say again, I'm sorry? Leave it right there. They took the return. Well, you've been such a huge help. I mean, yeah, yeah, that's the scene. We take care of our customers. Absolutely. Awesome. Well, enjoy the bike. Y'all have a good one. Thank you. Actually, no, I'm taking the bike. They accepted the return. We can't take the bike back. That's it? I think that's actually pretty funny. That's it? This bike is gone. CG. I'm sad now. I didn't think they would take it and now I don't have a sword bike anymore. Well, Walmart accepted our sword bike return, but you should click
on this video to see if Staples accepts our paper clip sword. Also, you should subscribe. Bye.
