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Ever wonder why it feels like you've done all the things, consumed all the books, the podcasts, the courses, and more, and yet you haven't really transformed your life? Today, you'll discover why information alone isn't enough, and you'll learn the powerful shift that actually makes change stick. You're listening to Relish, the podcast for people ready to stop chasing self-improvement and start savoring their lives. If you're tired of the hamster wheel of healing and hungry for more joy, presence, and meaning, you're in the right place. Welcome back to Relish. I'm Alysia and in this third week of posting, we have plenty to nourish you. So, today we've got a very full entree and it's building off of Monday's quick bite. So, I do
suggest tuning into that one first. That was episode 7. Today, we're going to look at what blocks true transformation. We're going to deepen into a simple and yet profound framework and learn the neuroscience of why it all works. And we'll talk about how this is really essential to relishing your life to ultimately help you see that you actually already do have everything you need. A quick heads up. So today's episode will be a bit experiential at times. I'm going to invite you into some brief visualization practices. So, you know, if you're driving, be safe and save those parts for later. And as a reminder for my visual learners who might be like me and find word-based concepts tricky for auditory learning, I
am going to be really intentional with my words, but as a reminder, we do have these podcasts on video posted on YouTube with visual aids, and there's also clear notes in the show description if it's helpful. Okay. So through my years of coaching and facilitating I have noticed something that is widespread. Many of us including myself have fallen into this trap of believing that we need to learn more in order to change. Like you know there's some crucial concept or some piece of information that we're missing. And there's a quote that I love. You're going to probably hear me say it a bunch. It's there's no transformation in information.
Okay, take it in. There's no transformation in information. Real lasting change requires something deeper, which is embodiment. And that's what we're going to explore today. I know embodiment is becoming discussed more mainstream, but I feel sometimes like a lot of people are over complicating what it is. I want to break it down really simply. What is embodiment? simply means directly experiencing life in your body. Okay, that's it. Being mindfully aware of how your thoughts and your emotions, how they manifest physically here and now. In a way, embodiment is like mindfulness but grounded in physical presence. Remember the body exists completely in the present moment. I
talked about this in episode three. I think our body sensations are like an anchor to the present moment. They keep us tied to the present because our body sensations can only happen right now in this moment. I can only taste or smell or feel or see or hear right now in this moment. Not tomorrow, not yesterday. If I'm noticing a sensation, I'm present. If we think about embodiment as mindfulness of our body and our body sensations and our emotions and our thoughts, if we recognize they're all intertwined, then being embodied is being connected to what you are thinking and what you're feeling emotionally and how that shows up in the body in this moment. Now, it's a little bit ironic
right now um because here in this context, we're talking and listening. This is you know cognitive intellectual processing. But as we know there is no transformation in information. We're talking information here. So to really understand this concept of embodiment you have to experience it in your body. Us talking isn't going to do much on its own. And I want nothing more than to support you in the transformation that you are cultivating within yourself. So we are going to make this real right now. Yes. Okay. So, if it's safe, if you're not driving, I want you to, you know, let yourself be fully here.
Slow down. Maybe even ooh, take this off double speed. Notice if there's any impulse to kind of rush through consuming information. And this will be relatively brief. All right? But take a moment and just close your eyes. Close And I want you to consider if you were to make a mistake. Okay, you make a mistake and you are hard on yourself in that moment. What negative thoughts might you say to yourself? This doesn't have to be all the time, but what kind of self-critical thoughts might arise?
You know, for me, it's usually something like, "You idiot. You can't do anything right. there's something wrong with you. So, bring to mind something that comes up for you. And I want you to notice as you're saying those thoughts right now, saying them, what happens for you emotionally? What emotions come up? I'm feeling a little insecure. There's some anger at myself. Might be rooted in fear. There's some shame here, honestly. And notice when these emotions come up. What does that feel like for you in the body?
I'm kind of feeling a tension in my throat, a tightness goes down into my chest a bit. There's like a constriction, a heaviness. Now, there's not a right experience. You are probably experiencing something different. But notice what happens for you in your body. Okay? And now just shake that off. Okay? Actually, shake it off physically. Come back to a neutral space. Maybe take a breath. And I want you to bring to mind a thought that you might say to yourself when you make a mistake, but you're able to be supportive, compassionate, maybe show up more authentically. Maybe it's something that feels more true to who
you are or something that you'd say to a friend. What's a thought you might say when you make a mistake? I know it's hard, but it's okay. It's going to be okay. It's just a mistake. You're human now. Don't be so hard on yourself. I love you. You're doing your best. It's okay. Whatever feels true for you. Just offer yourself this supportive energy. And notice what emotions come up. What do you feel with those thoughts? I feel supported. I feel cared for. I feel compassion. And then notice how whatever that is lives in your body. I mean, I notice the tightness is kind of softening. I feel a bit lighter. I feel some warmth in my
chest. I feel a bit more open. Again, there's not a right experience, but notice what's happening for you. Okay, you can open your eyes. What you just experienced was embodiment. being mindful of your thoughts and feelings in your body in the moment and being aware of how your thoughts and your emotions impact your body's experience. Now, if you actually did close your eyes and go along with that, you tapped into a powerful tool called visualization to support that experience. In a few weeks, we're going to talk a lot more about why I am such a fan of visualization. It's it's such a
transformative tool for healing work and also for cultivating joy. Um, and we're specifically going to talk about what's happening in the brain. But for now, just understand that in that little experience, you were able to direct your attention to being aware of the present moment without judging it. That's mindfulness. And in that moment, you're specifically being aware of your embodied experience. There is no right thing that's supposed to happen for you when I guided you through that. But of course in this context, you know, I'm not in person with you and able to ask what happened for you in real time. But what I often
see when facilitating or coaching this is there's typically some kind of um tightness or a constriction that comes alongside a negative thought and emotion. And there's often some kind of uh openness or a softening with supportive thoughts and emotions. That alone can be a huge awakening. At least it was for me when I first started to integrate this because it made me see a couple of things. One, it made me see how much my experience is impacted by my thoughts and emotions. And two, it helped me see that the way I interpret experience, the way I interpret my experience is really dependent on what's happening in my body. You know, it's not the emotions or the thoughts themselves.
It's more that I'm subconsciously perceiving in the body, oh, this is a positive veilanced experience. This is something pleasant or this is maybe something negative valanced, something unpleasant. And of course, it can be neutral as well. But almost every experience of a thought, an emotion has some connection to the body, even if it's subtle. That's embodiment. So, be open to that possibility as I walk you through this next part. So now that you've had the experience of embodiment, we can talk about it a little bit um to get a sense of how essential it is and tie it into the concept that I introduced on Monday. Be do have. I think this is really key to relishing your life. Now, as a reminder, I do
suggest listening to that quick bite for the whole spiel. You know, it's I it's a quick bite. I promise it's quick. But for right now, I'm just going to give a super brief overview since I already talked about it to build on what's relevant to the points I want to make here in this episode. We talked about how there's this sequence of be, do, have. The be leads to the do leads to the have. And that gives us freedom to live from a place of being as a human being. You know, we talked about what it means to be a human being as opposed to a human doing. be, do, have. And the highlevel summary is that your state of being shapes what you do, your actions, and that influences what you have, your
outcomes. Today I am suggesting that be is all about embodiment. It's about what you are embodying. this be do have model it's a somewhat well circulated coaching concept but when I see people talk about it a lot of times they're only focusing on the positive with be do have so you know on Monday we acknowledge the be as be authentic and aligned and then do from that place of authenticity to have whatever the authentic result is and I do think that's true and helpful but I also personally find it really valuable to see that Be, do, have is always happening. We are always being some kind of way. We might not be aware or mindful of it, but we are always embodying something. There are always thoughts and
feelings intersecting and interacting with our body sensations, even when we're not aware. And that is directing, driving our behavior. And when we're not aware, that would be subconscious. So there's this sequence of be, do have that our experience follows whether we are aware of it or not. So let's take a practical I'll give you a personal example. I'll take a task of sorts, something that I used to absolutely despise and dread and that was going to networking events. Okay. Now, if I were to go to this event with the feeling of dread leading the way. So, I'm being the be I'm being in that state of dread,
embodying dread and negativity. What might I do from that place? What actions might I take? I might avoid interacting with people. I might, you know, frankly, avoid going altogether. Okay, so that's the do. And then what might I have as a result? What's the outcome? Maybe I'm in a corner alone, isolation, maybe frustration, probably no new contacts. Okay, so like my mission is not being accomplished here. Embodying dread and you know the feeling of dread in the body leads to this whole self-sabotaging experience that does not align with what I actually want. However, there's another way I could be. If the be is that I were to embody openness or curiosity for instance the do there might be very different actions
let's say if I'm open and curious I approach people I ask questions I have conversations very different do and then the have the outcomes could be connection or purpose or satisfaction or new contacts okay so the being shapes everything. This is a huge insight for me and it's happening all the time. The way that you're being around, you know, your partners, your kids, your friends, your work, whatever. And remember, episode three, respond versus react. When I'm embodying dread, when I'm in that conditioning, that negative state, I'm reacting on autopilot. But when I'm showing up and being curious, embodying that openness, then I'm responding more authentically.
Does that land? Does that resonate? So, I want you to apply this to your own experience. Now, go back to a few minutes ago when I had you close your eyes and uh connect to thoughts that you might say when you make a mistake. You can even close your eyes again if you want to reconnect to it. You don't have to, but if you do, then just explore for a moment. When you were telling yourself the negative thoughts and having those emotions and those sensations come up, consider for yourself what might you do from that place? What actions, what behaviors, what reactions might you go into? What negative patterns might come up? And then what might you have from that place? What's the result? What's the outcome?
You can even pause if you want to explore this for a moment or you know come back to it later. And then the other side, let's say you make a mistake, but you meet yourself with compassion. You meet yourself with kindness from a place of what that feels like in your body. What might change? What might you actually do differently? You know, maybe you feel the feelings. Maybe you take responsibility for the mistake or make amends. What's the action? And then what might you have on the other side? Maybe you have peace or regulation or being in your integrity or connection even. This is worth reflecting on. Okay. So you can open your eyes if you close them. The point is we are always being some kind of way because we are
always embodying something. You're always in a body and that way of being is impacting our experience. So the question is are we conscious of our embodiment or not? Understanding this then um it's possible that we can become more conscious of our being of our ways of being. So we can choose to embody ways of being that are more supportive to the kind of life we want to live. This is what has allowed me personally to live much more of a responsive, fluid, adaptive, joyful life. So, take a moment to reflect. How could this be helpful for you? Are you making some connections? Having insights. Before we talk neuroscience right now, I
want you to think of one task on your to-do list that you're not necessarily thrilled about today. Okay? It could be something like chopping vegetables or answering emails, driving home through traffic, a work task, whatever. And right now, intentionally decide how you would like to be as you do it. Choose a way of being you'd like to embody. Do you want to be curious or kind or open or patient or loving? You know, what embodiment would be helpful? Pick something. Okay? Okay. And then when you go to do that thing later today, intentionally embody that way of being and notice how your experience shifts.
Choosing to embody a way of being. It could be as simple as closing your eyes and connecting to the feeling of that quality. Visualizing, imagining, feeling, openness, curiosity, love, whatever it is, feeling it in your body. And then just go do the thing and see what shifts. Again, we will do a deeper dive on visualization in a couple of weeks, but for now, try it out and then come and tell me what happens for you in the comments or on social. We are kind of changing your to-do list into a to be list. Okay. Do you think we can get this like trending? All right. So, let's talk neuroscience now of being versus doing.
Episode 5 was in many ways about the neuroscience of being human. We talked about how your brain predicts current experiences based on your past. This is called predictive processing. And your feelings, you know, like anxiety or excitement, they're not just random sensations. They are predictions constructed by your brain. And again, maybe one day in the future we'll talk about the neuroscience of emotions, another favorite topic of mine. When you consciously choose new ways of being, you interrupt the automatic patterns shifting from reactive fixed mode into the responsive fluid mode. We talked about that before, too. This is why consciously embodying new states like openness or curiosity, it can feel challenging at first because you're
literally retraining your brain. Your brain would much prefer to do what it's always done. It expends less energy on autopilot. Um, and now you're bringing it back online. Another important component of embodiment is something called introsception. This is your ability to tune into your body signals like noticing your heartbeat or your breath or hunger. Practicing interosception activates a region of the brain called the insula and that maps your internal sensations. Your insula is crucial for embodiment and for self-awareness.
It helps translate body sensations into conscious awareness. So this is what allows you to know a felt sense of your truth. If you truly want to embody your authenticity, if you want to be more than do, it's important to cultivate the skill of listening to your body. Strong interception means that you are aware of what's happening inside. And that then empowers you to be able to consciously choose presence over reaction. Now let's briefly talk about the term disembodied. It means feeling disconnected from your body's sensations uh or the emotions and thoughts and how they manifest physically. This can show up as numbness. It could be emotional flatness. It could just be the difficulty of being able to feel your
body sensations. It's common that this happens when someone's dealing with trauma or high stress and it can significantly impact your emotional awareness in your decision-m. So, this is why interosception, that ability to sense those bodily signals is essential to your healing and growth journey. Personally, I have hyper and hypo sensory sensitivities. I believe related to my neurode divergence in some way. But some sensations feel really overwhelming to me and some I barely notice. When I first started paying attention to emotions um and body sensations, it was really hard for me. That might have been sometimes because of past trauma, but sometimes because it was a new skill and I hadn't really
practiced it yet. All that to say, if noticing sensations in your body is challenging, that is okay. It's completely normal. Your brain still might be navigating past experiences of anxiety or fear or shame, especially if there's trauma involved. And you might just need to practice. When we become disembodied, since we are disconnected from the body, we therefore lose touch with the present moment. We slip back into the past. We're slipping back into past uh pain, past patterns. So be patient and compassionate with yourself as you build up your introsceptive capacity. Even small moments of mindful awareness can support your journey back to connection and back to the present moment. In fact, each time you
consciously shift into being rather than doing, let's say, you know, we're calling being some manifestation of being present. Each time you do that, each time you come home to the present moment, you strengthen the neural pathways through neuroplasticity. And that's probably a process you've heard of. You're literally reshaping your brain, in this case, for authenticity and presence and joy. And of course, we will dive much deeper into neuroplasticity in the future. As it relates to this episode, know that practices like meditation, taking mindful pauses, other embodiment practices, they do physically change your brain. They thicken your insula, your smataensory cortex which process sensory information and that thereby reinforces your ability to uh stay
connected to stay aligned in your body rather than reactively slipping back into the old patterns and the old ways of being. Okay, let's take a breath. I know that was a lot. If the neuroscience pieces feel dense, if they don't resonate with you, no worries. I like to share it because for me, understanding the why really helps me buy into the practices. It encourages me on my path and as I shared today and last week, normalizing what it means to be human with a brain has been really helpful for me. So, if you resonate with that, if you didn't get to hear the last episode, episode 5,
I think you'll enjoy it. Now, let's quickly talk practical ways that you can practice embodiment. One is to just regularly pause and notice your body sensations. Notice that could be your heartbeat. It could be watching your breath. It could be hunger sensations. And name your emotions that are happening and see if you can see where those emotions live in your body, what the sensations are. This all builds interceptive awareness. Studies actually show that individuals with higher interceptive accuracy, they tend to score higher on emotional intelligence measures. They tend to have less anxiety. Uh and they also show greater resilience under stress.
Mindfulness and mindfulness meditations, body scan meditations, yoga, stretching, any kind of gentle movement practices, these also increase interraceptive awareness. Another thing is to experiment with your posture. So notice how either when you're sitting or when you're standing upright, how does that change your internal state and then your actions in a certain context? and play around with embodying different states and feel what it's like in the body in different contexts. So, for example, you might try next time you're at the grocery store or something to embody a negative state like judgment. And again, if it's helpful, you can connect to a judgmental thought. You know, find
someone in the grocery store to judge. It's probably not hard to do. And then feel it in your body. Where do you feel those sensations? And then walk around and stay connected to what's happening in your body while being aware of your thoughts and your emotions. It's a mindful practice. And notice how does it impact your experience in the store? What do you think about? What do you think about people? How do you feel? You know, notice this because this is your experience of life and it's happening in the background all the time whether you're aware of it or not. Then stop and embody openness or curiosity or some kind of positive state that feels more authentic. You know, have a positive
thought, feel that in your body and walk around the store some more and notice what shifts. Notice what shifts in your body, your thoughts, your emotions. get a felt sense of the difference and then consider which experience of life do you want to have? These moments of experience make up your life and then I encourage you to journal your insights. Reflect on what you notice. Um I just read about an experiment. I haven't tried it yet. Consciously smile for 15 seconds multiple times daily. So at the time of this recording, I haven't done it yet, but I'm going to be experimenting with it this week. I'm going to post about it on Instagram. So, come find me and why don't you try it out and come tell me what shifts for
you. Okay. Wow. I know today was full. It was a full entree. I hope it was nourishing. And comment here on the podcast, on Instagram, on socials. Find me at Alyssiah Shake. Let me know how it lands. What shifted for you and if you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate us five stars, share if it resonates. I appreciate your support so much. I will see you next week. And until then, relish your beautiful embodied human life.
