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Hello everybody. I'm Rebecca Budig. Welcome to Soapy. And I'm Greg Rikaart. I'm Becky Taylor. Hi. You're always laughing at me. You tickle me. You do. I tickle you? Yeah, yes, you do. You look lovely. It's been a minute since I've seen you. I'm just happy to be here and happy to see you. Well, I'm happy to be here. I'm excited about our guest today. I am, too. I've only seen this beautiful woman peripherally through the hallways, kind of like hello.
Does she say hi to you or do you just see her in passing? to me. She so I'm going to get to the bottom of that. Smart woman. Um yeah, so but you've worked with her. Yes, in fact, my who this is that we're talking about. Well, why don't we tease it for another minute? Okay. My very first scene on The Young and the Restless back in 2003 was with our lovely, beautiful, and very talented guest, Kristal Khalil.
I didn't know that. Yeah. Your very first scene. Yes. Well, we can talk about it when she gets here, but Poor Kristal. We had a very interesting relationship uh and we'll save it for when she's here, but she's just a spectacular young woman and I haven't seen her in a minute, so I'm really excited to see our guest who will be with us when we get back, Kristal Khalil. Kristal Khalil, welcome to Soapy. Thank you. Um it is so great to see you. You, too. It's been so long, I feel like. time. And I feel like I've seen you peripherally for so long. I've seen you in the hallways.
We would just wave. Yes. Yeah. But I would yeah, not talk. Why? You know, we're busy. Well, I know, but I now that we're not in the same place, I miss it. I miss not seeing people. Yeah. Same. Um yeah, no one's there anymore except you guys. It's like a ghost town. No one's there. Price Is Right left, you guys left. We're talking about CBS Television City, where Bold and Beautiful was shot for 38 years before you guys moved. Price is Right moved, but Young and Restless is still there.
We're We're still there. Alone. In the empty halls. actually Bill Maher might still be there. Oh, yeah. Bill Maher's there. And that's it. Okay. So, um this morning I texted Marnie Saitta. Ugh. Marnie. Casting director Marnie Saitta, who cast both of us on Young and the Restless, cast me on Days of Our Lives. And I said, "Do you have a fun story about when Crystal first started?" And she said, "The first one that comes to mind," she goes, "it's not exactly a fun story, but we had such an exhaustive search for the character of Lily Winters. And there were some really uh talented young women who came in, and
then Crystal came in and just blew this thing out of the water, and it was her job from the second she came in for that audition." Wow. That's so nice to hear. that? I do remember. Yes, I remember all of it, and I don't have a good memory cuz most of my life I've blocked out. But, um I do remember [clears throat] it cuz it was just such like a um intense experience. How so? Well, I was 14, and I had always, you know, auditioned for all these Disney projects. So, I auditioned for, you know, That's So Raven. It was between me and Raven-Symoné, and it was called Absolutely Psychic cuz she was like this
girl who had psychic ability, and but when they when she got the role, they named it after her. But, like I lost that part, and I was just so devastated cuz for the network call, like network was like there were like 20 people in the room watching me, and I just I had I've always had such performance anxiety. Me, too. And I just completely bombed the audition, and it was terrible. So, I was just devastated, and I was actually going to quit acting. And I then got the final call for Young and the Restless, and I wasn't going to go cuz I was like, "You know what? I'm done. Like I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to hang out with my friends." Like I was just devastated. And my brother, who is 7 years older than me,
he quit acting the same age that I was at that time. And he was like, "Crystal, I promise you, like I actually really regret quitting." He's like, "Just go on this audition and if you don't get it, you can quit. But if you just go." And I was like, "Fine. If I don't get it, I'm done." I went and I remember I had the screen test with Kristoff who Kristoff St. John is just like it's so easy to act with him because he's just so there. And I remember just being on set. And that was my first time where a screen test you were actually on set. Like it was an on-camera thing. I'd never experienced that before. an executive room.
Yeah, I'm always used to an executive room and like not, you know, reading with the casting director. So it was my first time like being with an actor and like having makeup done, which just helps you really be able to like do your best work, you know. And you're on the stage. You're on the set and it feels different from an audition because it's easier to imagine yourself in these circumstances with more of the world built around you. Exactly. And so it was like a scene where I had to be emotional and I always had issues being emotional in auditions. But because I was there with him, it just came and it happened and it was natural and I felt so good and
yeah, it was amazing. So it's it stands out in my mind a lot. And that's crazy at 14 to access emotion cuz I don't know, for me when I started um it was so you're so vulnerable when you access emotion and that at that age you're so subconscious more so than you are when you get older, I think. I mean, I guess for me it didn't feel that way cuz I had been acting since I was five and just being in like acting classes and, you know, I actually didn't want to be an actor. My mom forced me. Oh, really? She was like a typical It was like the typical story of like she wanted to be an actress and then ended up putting me into entertainment. want to do?
I don't know. I never had the chance to even decide choices, or think about it. I have one reme- memory of like wanting to be a veterinarian. I did too. Oh, you did? Yeah, I just I loved animals, but like I never had the chance to really figure out what I wanted to be. But like Yeah, so I for me it didn't feel vulnerable. It just kind of felt like this was like who I was and what I did, because it was always what I did. But you had I remember um and we'll get to how we started working together, but I remember um being I we must have been scenes right before or right after uh these scenes that you were shooting with Kristoff,
and it was me and Vicky Arundel um on stage, but off camera, and you and Kristoff were doing the scene together. And I was new to the show, and we were just watching the two of you just both give these powerhouse performances. And I looked over to Vicky, and I said "She's incredible." And she said, "She has such access, and she's so in touch with her instrument." And I was like "Yeah, also what's so amazing is to Rebecca's point is that most teenagers, you are like I think being a teenager is the hardest time in a person's life, one of the hardest times. You are going from being a child to being an adult. You're going through puberty. You're you're self-conscious. All of these things. And
then to have to do that on camera, on a television show, and to be brilliant while you're doing it, it's it's a pretty remarkable thing. And I don't Aw, thanks. But have you ever like taken a moment to be like, "Oh, yeah, that is not something My experience is quite unique." Yeah. No, I actually haven't thought about it that way, but now hearing you talk, I'm like, "Wow, I really peaked at 14." No, no, you were 15 by then. No, you didn't. We're just impressed, because we were like lost 14-year-olds. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you were self-assured.
Yeah, yeah, I mean I guess Yeah, I guess that's true. Like I said, I think because of doing it so young, it just was second nature. It wasn't anything I really thought about. It was just something that I did. So. Yeah. Yeah, I just think under pressure and all of that, there's there is a and auditions and things like that. Sometimes it's just hard. Yeah. To access that cuz just from the nerves alone, you know? Also, and again, like I'm sorry. I have many a uh ruined uh screen test by being in a room full with 20 executives where you're like, "This is a life-changing moment."
And I bet the fact that you were like, "I'm giving it up if I don't get this." was like that like I don't give a attitude is often what is like the key to success. Totally. You hear that story over and over. Yeah. So, starting at 14, I You were 19 when you started, right? I was 19 when I started. But, not on a soap. I was a little older, but um you've stayed for so long. There was a little break that you took at one point. More than one, right? Yeah. Was it more than one? I probably left like two and a half times. But, you know, I like I said, I was saying that I think starting so young, I just didn't have an appreciation for
what I had. And it was like, you kind of want to explore the world and see what's out there. And so, yeah, like I left a couple times cuz I was like, "I don't want to be on this show anymore." And then as you get older, you're like, "This is the best job in the world. And please keep me." Yes. Let me stay. For so many reasons. Like just being able to stay in one spot, especially as a mother. Yes. Not having to travel. Exactly. Not traveling, not doing night shoots. It's like a 9:00 to 5:00 job. You know, you know when you're getting there, you know when you're done. And it's amazing. I can see my kids in the morning, I can
put them to bed. And I don't even work every day, so I can still have those days with them where I'm taking them to the park. And you know, it's a dream. It's the best. working at 14 and also school work and I was homeschooled. Okay. And so, um which is why I'm not very well educated. I'm kidding. School homeschooling is the best. My mom though did not handle my schooling the best. I remember your mom. Oh god. She'd have to watch us and be like, "I saw you talking about me.
You have no appreciation." I already know what's going to happen. Um no, but I just I also didn't have like a tutor at home and I wasn't working on the set every day. And when I was on set, they had a school tutor there. So, that was great. But no, I mean, I was pretty much like teaching myself. Like it was Yeah, it was bad. I taught myself algebra. It was like I was literally in my room. I remember having this memory of like going to the back of the book, seeing what the answer was, and then having to like figure out the formula and work backwards to learn algebra cuz I had no one to And you didn't have the internet like you do now, I guess.
No. That's why I look at my 16-year-old who has like horrible grades and I'm like, "You know what? You are such a disappointment." I taught myself algebra. Smart enough to teach yourself algebra, but not smart enough to realize that you don't need to know algebra for anything that you were going to do in life. That I was going to do, yeah. Although, my husband's in private equity and he like uses algebra every day. And I'm like, "Really?" I'm like, "You're Maybe that's your backup. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, so Did you think about pursuing college?
Uh you know, my mom was encouraging me to, but then in my mind, I just was kind of like, "Well, why would I go and spend the money to learn something when I'm not going to use it towards what I'm actually doing? Like why would I do that?" But now as an adult looking back, I'm like, "I really wish I had." too late. Me, too. I know, it's never too late. Yeah. I just I feel like Yeah. I feel like it would have been a good experience and, you know, Yeah. I feel like I should have. Um How old were you when you left the first time? And how was that hiatus from the that first hiatus for you?
I was 17 when I left the first time. And yeah, I was like I just was not doing anything. Was that after the Lily and Daniel in Malibu storyline? Yes, it was like my first contract period was 3 years. So, it was like 14 to '17 and then I was like, "Okay, I'm going to leave cuz I just figured that's what I would do." And then, you know, I didn't do anything for a year and I was like, "Okay, I guess I'll go back." And then I went back and then I left again. Um I can't remember what age I was, but it was probably like five six years later I left again for about 6 months, then came back, and then I left again in
2019 cuz I moved to Toronto Oh, yeah. with my now husband um for a year. And then I was there and I was like, "This whole not working thing is awful." Were you trying to work in Toronto? Yeah, like I was auditioning and, you know, doing putting myself on tape for things, but then COVID happened. And then COVID was, you know, going on and then I was living in Toronto and I'm not used to the snow and it was freezing and I was scraping ice off of my car windshield before I could drive and I remember thinking to myself like, "I don't have to live like this, you know?" Like I just, you know, "What am I doing here?"
Like get me back to California. And then I just missed my job and missed working and so I left Toronto and came back and now I'm like, "Don't ever leave ever again." And your husband was from Toronto, I'm guessing? he was. So, he was cool with coming back. Yeah, he actually always wanted to live in LA, but then with his job he was like, "I need to be in Canada." But then when COVID happened, it was like everything became new. Yeah, and now he was like, "Okay, I guess it's fine." and came to LA and, you know, he loves it. Yeah. I was saying uh yeah, you I think you need to whether you leave on your own or whether you leave because your bosses tell you it's time for you to go,
I think that you can't fully have the gratitude I believe we all possess now without having been away from the job. Yes. Um but let's get back to uh So, you did so much in those first 3 years. Like they knew what they had and they were constantly throwing incredible storyline after incredible storyline at you. one of the best was creepy Kevin Fisher. God, fishing for love. We were swiping right before um Tinder even existed. that was your handle, fishing for love? Fishing for love. Because it was a whole like internet predator storyline to bring awareness around it. Um which was great cuz that
was really big at the time. Still happens. was the it was sort of at the you know, the onset of um catfishing and like all of that stuff. It was like the beginning of it. But it was um I it's I was thinking about it yesterday, of course, in preparation for today and I was like, I wish that I had a little more emotional maturity around that situation at the time because we were kids and it was so awkward and uncomfortable and correct me if I'm wrong, but was I your first on-screen kiss? First on-screen kiss. Oh, I'm so sorry.
I know. How old were you? You were 26? Not great, guys. Not great. I and I was looking for photos of us and there's one where I gift you like some lingerie. Do you remember this? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Eddie gave me chlamydia. Where I would go around and fans would be like, "Oh my god, Are you okay now? take your pills?" No. And I was like, "Oh no, I don't actually have chlamydia." I was like, I didn't either, [clears throat] for the record.
Yeah, this was like character Yeah. That was another thing they were bringing awareness to was like STDs and that whole thing. Oh, yeah. But again, I think where the where we still have jokes. I remember you come out of the bathroom just screaming. And then and the crew guys would put a smoke machine. No. That was terrible. Terrible times. Oh my god. But in the But you were young. I mean, honestly, if you didn't bring humor to it, it probably would have like scarred you for Yeah, I mean, Serious content. Crazy yeah and awkward and uh you know, and we survived. Yes, we did it. And also again, I think the show won awards for that storyline because it was um it was bringing awareness and people who were in charge, who were more
emotionally mature than we were at the time, were telling an important story. Is there a storyline that you've had over the years on Young and the Restless that have affected you personally as a person? Uh yeah, I would say like the cancer one I had where Lily had ovarian cancer. Like that was a big one cuz um you know, I had to wear a bald cap, too, cuz like Lily shaved her head, and that was a really amazing one cuz so many people were like, "You know, I have cancer, and this brought so much inspiration." And you know, you always hear those stories when people say that, but then it's like when it actually happens to you, you're like, "Wow, like this really did affect
someone." And you know, that's such like a nice feeling to have. Yeah. So that was a really powerful one for me that I loved. What about you? like issues around surrogacy, too, like IVF, cuz like Lily and Neil couldn't have kids, and then I had to have a surrogate. And that was like a really big one of like infertility issues, and yeah, I feel like there's been like some really I love about soaps. I know. Yeah, I think people can really connect to a lot of the stories cuz they're current and relatable.
Yeah. What were you going to ask me? Did you ever have a story that affected you personally? [snorts] I think they all do in some way, right? Yeah. Um Well, maybe not all, but some are a little like Yeah, I guess. Uh oh, I mean, you know, I certainly didn't relate to um having Stockholm syndrome and robbing banks wearing a giant chipmunk head. So no, maybe not all of them. Remember that? Wait, was that on That was on Young and the Restless. That was? Yeah, I don't remember that. Uh maybe it was during one of your hiatuses, but it was when Please get a photo of this. You had a chipmunk I was kidnapped. I had Stockholm
syndrome, and so I was sympa- sympathizing with my captor, and then I was robbing banks wearing a giant bloody chipmunk mascot head. Okay, that's crazy. That's nuts. Apparently it was Maria Bell's homage to Passions, cuz Passions had just been canceled. And she's like, "Let's let's kind of" Oh, okay, that makes sense. Cuz that's a little out there for our show. Our show has never been No, it's a little more reality based. And she called me up to her office and told me about it. And I was like, "This sounds crazy." And she said, "You have the depth as an actor to be able to play this and bring reality to
it." And I was like, "Okay." And then we played the story and I'm like, "This is not This is dreadful." But um but I love you. I'm sure it was amazing though. We all had to do things where I think we have to step out of our comfort zones and do things that are a little like Did you have one that was crazy? I had out um Bianca, who was a character on our show that was a lesbian. And my character was going around calling her Lesbi Anca and like Lesbi Anca. I was a bully basically. That's fun. But um well, I mean I guess, but in retrospect I'm like,
"God, you know, you can't I don't know if you could get away with that now." But I guess that's what happened back then, you know, people were scared to come out. So um people still are. But um I liked that story. Cuz it was yeah. Well, cuz you got to play a villain. I've gotten to [clears throat] play Villains are fun. If you can, you know. I know, I've never gotten to play one. Lily's always been like a very sweet, nice, straight-laced person. I'm like, "I would love to be" So yeah, is there a role that you would like to play?
Give me a drug problem. I'm like, "Make me a" What's the worst thing Well, besides for spending too much time on the internet when you were 15, what's the worst thing Lily's done? And you ran away to Malibu. You've had some questionable The worst thing Lily I mean Like normal cheating. Yeah. You know, everyone on soaps have cheated. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean Lily's never done anything. Is there a character you'd like to play? Or would you want Like do you want to continue to play Lily and see her go through some Yeah, I'd love to see Lily, you know, go through something and like lose control. That would be really amazing.
Tell us about having Shemar Moore and Vivica A. Fox on set. Uh yeah, so Shemar is a Malcolm comes back and you know, he has your father. He plays my Yeah, he plays my dad uncle. He's he's Okay. He's my uncle dad. He's cuz there was a paternity uh Yeah, so Neil Kristoff Neil, he's my dad, but then I find out he's actually my uncle and his brother Shemar Malcolm is my dad, but he I grew up with Malcolm as my uncle. So I still call him Uncle Malcolm even though he's biologically my dad.
Got it. my uncle dad. Your uncle dad. Yes. So I kind of like that. My uncle dad. Yeah, so yeah, he comes back and uh you know, the whole thing is like Malcolm has like an issue and he comes to town to tell Lily and you know, brings them together and it's like a whole thing. Yeah. And then Vivica, you know, plays into that somehow and it's going to be really fun. Did you stay in touch with Shemar when he left the show? Uh a little bit in the beginning and then we kind of just lost contact over the past I would say like 4 years, but before yeah, we would like text every now and then, happy birthday, how are
you, that kind of thing, but not really. Who's your closest friend that you've made from the show? Not him. I think I know. Can I answer it? Bryton. Yeah, Bryton. Who's incredible, but tell us about your relationship with Bryton. Yeah, he plays my brother on the show and you know, he's my son's godfather in real life and Aw. I but I met him when I was nine on I did an episode of Family Matters. was on Family Matters. And he was on Family Matters and so we did we worked together we were 9 years old and then he screen tested at 17 for Young and the Restless and I was like,
oh yeah, you've got to hire this guy, like he's so great, but we hadn't talked from 9 to 17, like I didn't talk to him. I only did one episode. And then yeah, now we've been friends ever since. Another important storyline because he came on as a foster child. Yes. Oh, yeah, that's right. That was another like really great storyline. Um and actually uh again speaking to the uniqueness of your situation sort of growing up as a child actor and you and Brighton have similar experiences, right? Because you were kids and have managed to be very like grounded and
successful adults and survived like the chaos of being a child actor in this town. Yeah. I think, you know, well, for him, it was a testament to his parents. For me, I don't know. It's a testament to your ability to teach yourself how to brush Would you encourage [clears throat] your kids, your own kids, to pursue a career You know, no, I mean, would I encourage them? No. If they were like, "Oh, I really want to do this." I'd be like, "Okay, well, here's the reality and here's what you've got to do." But no, I wouldn't encourage anyone. I think it's it's just it's crazy.
It's crazy. I always I have a friend who uh We got lucky. We got so lucky, you know? Did you have like Again, I and I think um I know, I can speak to the fact that you were nurtured and mentored at uh Young and Restless, but do you have experiences of of being on sets where you were where you didn't feel safe? You know, uh no, I never I mean, I would say maybe in ways of like um maybe someone uh treating me a certain way, like or talking down to me a certain way, and I was like a teenager and they were an adult, right? Like that I've had experiences like that where it's been really stressful and you know, you feel like something's wrong with you because oh, if they're being this way towards me, something must be wrong with me. But
I would say that's the only way that I experienced something negative. But I think, you know, because most of my life has been on this show, it's like I've been protected in a sense cuz it really is like family Yeah. on our show, which is so great. Do you cuz we've talked about this for us personally, but like do you have you reached a moment or can you think of a moment where you said, oh, I have switched gears, I'm no longer the young ingenue and now I have a different responsibility as someone on this show with younger people? I think she's still a young ingenue. No, but I was like, wow, it's weird to not be the youngest person anymore cuz before, remember, everyone was like 25, 26, and I was 17. And now
I'm like, wait, how old are you? You're 22? I'm older than you. grown children on the show. Yes, like that's very weird for me now. And now I'm like, oh, wow, I'm like I'm the old one in the group now. It's like it is weird. It's very weird. If you could go back and do it all again, would you what would you give yourself um advice? What kind of advice would you give yourself? Just to just that everything is always going to be okay. You know, like don't sweat the small stuff. It's like I think I always was just kind of frantic in my head and you know, I didn't feel very grounded inside a lot of times and I would say just
it would always everything will always work out. You might not know how, but it always does somehow. Did your brother ever go back to acting? No, none of them did. I have three brothers and they all were in acting cuz of my mom and then they all quit around that age, like 14, 15. And none of them went back. No. Yeah. Your mom must be thrilled that you're still Oh, yeah, Are kidding? She's now acting. She is? Oh, yeah. She's like, "Oh, I got a commercial. Sorry, I'm busy. I can't see my grandkids. I'm I'm going to Atlanta to do an Amazon commercial." I'm like,
"Okay, great." Oh my god. That's amazing. So, when you left the show that first time, was she like disappointed? Was she Did she give you any sort of advice when you left that first time? You know, actually no. I mean, I guess the bad thing about my mom is she's never really like parented, but the good thing about her is that she's also never really parented. And so, you know, it there's like a kind of on your own kind of it kind of all of my all of us are very independent people, and we're all very self-assured. And you're the baby, yeah? Yes. And I think it's because we just they our parents didn't really do it much, and so we kind of were left to our own devices,
which in a way kind of I think is good in some ways cuz it makes you have to start thinking for yourself. Like with my oldest son, I'm like, he can't do anything. He can't do Well, you learn. Now you can raise your 2-year-old and your baby differently. I'm going to, trust me. I'm like, you were the first one I learned on what not to do on you. Well, you know, also, you remind me of my sister in a lot of ways in that she had uh my two nephews young, [clears throat] um was married, got divorced, um remarried years later, and after Monty was after my son was born, went home with baby fever. And so, she had two teenagers and then has a daughter who's a year younger than my son. So, she always jokes about the experience of being the young mom who
was seeking out advice and uh information, and now she's like the sage mother who is telling the younger moms about what they're doing right and wrong and you know. Yep, exactly. That's how it feels. I mean, I've learned so much about with like social media and like the phone devices, right? Like, he was born in 2010, so that was like the beginning of everything where Remember Baby Einstein? Like, I used to have him watch I used to sit in front of the TV and watch Baby Einstein. smart. I think it was something in his brain. Now I know I actually made him dumber and I'm like this is why the boy can't do anything because he was just
watching Baby Einstein. Have you read Anxious Generation? No, but I've been listening to so many podcasts about like short form videos and like what they do to your brain and But your son um has the uh misfortune of being that first generation of like we didn't know any better. why they're called like the lost generation and they really are. It's like I see and you know, hopefully he can recoup some brain cells, but we'll see. He's he's got plenty of time. Maybe he can become an advocate for all of that. Yeah, maybe. for the anti-screen movement. know. He failed his permit test twice. So I don't know if he's going to be an advocate for anything.
I'm putting him on blast in this show. It's okay, Caden. I love you. You are brilliant. Does he uh does he like being he'll do you think he'll even listen or watch? Does he like being a big brother? Uh he does actually. At first he was very jealous. Yeah. He had some like there was a period cuz he was 13 years of time to be an only child. being the only kid and he was like it's so weird that you're going to love someone as much as me and you know, are you going to still care about I mean but he's also very in touch with his feelings I will say. Like that's one thing about him that's really amazing as a teenage boy. He's very like self-aware
when it comes to how he feels. And so we had so many conversations and when Remy first came around he was at first like oh, you know, and he couldn't play with him, but now he's like he can play with him and interact and now he's understanding like oh wow, when I grow up I have siblings and I'm going to have people there with me cuz he always hated being an only child. Yeah. He always said like I wish I had a sibling. Oh god, my kid begged. I'm like dude, I had you at 80. So I don't know what I can tell you.
I waited way too long. Yeah, yeah. We tried. We tried for years and years to give Monty a sibling and it just wasn't in the cards and I think we reached a point where we're like this is our family and this is great. But um but I miss that for him because I think there's a lot of benefits to of having to share that spotlight. There is. But you know see that with him with like interacting with other kids and not knowing how to be flexible, you know? And it's because he was so used to everything being his way. So I see that. That word comes up in my house so often and we always will say you we've got to work on flexibility and um but you're saying all like it's a lot of words you're saying. Are you if you don't mind
me asking, I hope it's not too personal. Are you a very therapized person? Have you been in a lot of therapy in your life? Uh I was when I was younger. Um a lot of therapy? No, I probably should have been. I should have been. Why are you asking, Greg? Because I had a lot of issues. But you know, honestly what really helped me were was um more like spiritual like medicine. Mhm. I'm not afraid to talk about that. Okay. Well Nothing supplemental. Whatever you're comfortable with. I did a lot of ayahuasca.
Oh, you did? And that really I would say that was like 10 years of therapy in one night. And I did that like that I would say made the biggest impact on my life and my awareness around issues. Do you feel like it was like before ayahuasca and after? Like was that Wow. Oh, yeah. Tell us more about it cuz I'm trying to get my husband to do it. Oh, I Well, my first time doing it I was 25. Wait. And I'm trying to get my husband to do it, not you. I don't need it. That means you need it. That means you need to do it. years and years of therapy. Go on.
No, it was just I mean I had a lot of issues just like my family life like my dad was, you know, a very tough person. he you were child of both immigrant parents or just your dad? dad is from Pakistan and you know, he was not a great person and there was a lot of trauma in my household growing up and so I think that just made me feel this very like I was always like this cuz I grew up in a very traumatic setting and I didn't know how to deal with things and so after having my son at 22, I think that really made me be like, "Hey, I've got to like work on myself, and there's issues here that were coming up." And so, I Elizabeth Hendrickson actually introduced me to this woman who does Reiki.
Mhm. And by doing Reiki with her, she was like, "You know, I really think you would benefit from" She's like, "You're messed up. I think you would benefit from this." And I was like, "Yeah, absolutely." Cuz I've never been scared to like go to those dark places. For me, it's like that's exciting. Like let's dig in and like see what's going on. And it just really made me deal with things as like I was it was almost like I was experiencing what my child self went through, but from a non-traumatic place. And so, I was really able to look at things and deal with them and like feel the feelings and yeah, I remember like after that first night I just I remember I had so much self-hatred that
I didn't realize was there. And I remember being in this bathroom and I was wanting to like take off everything, like even my own skin. And it was a it was symbolic to not wanting to be in my body. And just like going through that and how traumatic it was and how awful it was and I couldn't get out of it. And so, the woman who was guiding me was like, "You need to be in a place of love. Like tell me about your son. Talk about Caden." And as I was talking about him, I started feeling love and it started helping me get back into my body and feeling I could be with myself. And just like oh my god, it was really intense. And that was like the journey. That was like the beginning of it. And then I
just kept doing ceremonies like once a year pretty much for about like three five for about five years. And I haven't done it since, and I haven't really felt the need to. I just I felt like that was like a period of my life of like 5 6 years of where I really was in that space. Yeah. And oh my god, it was transformative. Wow. I highly recommend it. Thanks for sharing that. Yeah. To Rob, not you. I also I mean I'm I'm so [clears throat] uh I'm so happy that you had that experience and that you're on the other side of it, but it also breaks my heart that like I wish I could go and give 16-year-old you a Oh. uh hug.
Hey. You know? I you know when I had that moment where adult Crystal was giving little Crystal a hug, right? Cuz it's like you go through these things when you're a child and it gets stuck in your body and your adult self can process it and say, you know, oh, well, I understand why I do this cuz my dad or my mom did this and it made me feel this way, but the little self of you never understood what was happening and so it's like that part needed to be therapized. And so then, you know, that's what I went through of like little girl Crystal had to feel the feelings. I think also going full circle back to where we started, it's like that depth that you had and that access you had as a teenager, I think is all because of
what you're just talking about. Yeah. Absolutely. It was like therapy, for sure. Okay. So, we have a question. Go ahead. We have a Soapy Hotline and fans ask questions that they want you to answer. And that's what we're up to. What was the hardest storyline you ever filmed emotionally and why? Oh, emotionally. What? I just have a thought. Okay. No, but it's your question. Yeah. What are you going to say? Well, you go first and then I'll see if I'm thinking what you were thinking. Um emotionally, maybe the cancer stuff? That's not what you're going to say.
What were you going to say? I'd say losing Kristoff. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Oh, I guess okay, cuz I was thinking about it from a different perspective. perspective, but I think just the you know, just that experience I think on and off camera. I guess I was thinking more in the vein of like hard to access the emotion. I may be Yeah, so I would say that, but if That's a way easier thing to access, obviously. Yes, that was easy cuz it was like real life, for sure. But yeah, that's how I took the question. Yeah, well, I don't know. This was written in, so who knows.
Um what was yours? My Oh, my question is this is a really good one. What's a question about craft, not plot, that fans almost never ask you, but if they did, they might understand uh your performances on a different level? Oh, that's Ooh, right? Okay, buckle in. I'm like, wow, you got to digest that. Yeah, that's a good one. So, like how what's like the way I Like maybe the way you Um I feel like it's a question about preparation. Yeah. And how when maybe that when you are dealing with an experience that um you personally have not gone through, like having cancer, like what how did you prepare for that and how does that Right. um Yeah, I would say it's kind of like a
mélange of things of like different acting classes, where like one was like, I'm sure you guys know about like substitution, where it's like you take something from your real life that can substitute into the story that can help you access that emotion. But then sometimes you don't have something to substitute it for. So then you really have to rely on your imagination. So I feel like that's kind of what I do is like a mixture of like substituting stuff that I can get me there, but then also like It's always easier, too, when you're acting with someone who can be there with you and then you're kind of like feeding off of them, too.
There's There's uh co-workers that I have worked with, you being one of them, where it's like I just have to connect. And then whatever is on the page, we can just Yeah. take the take it from there. Exactly. And that's lovely when that happens. Yeah. And the way you described that, it reminds me of like that's not just my acting uh my approach to acting, but also parenting and anything that's important. I'm like, oh, I'll take like Yeah. to from all things that I've learned over the years and I find things that really I can apply. Yes, absolutely. You have to.
Yeah. Where would you like Lily to I mean, I know you've actually kind of answered the question. It's a dumb question ask. Cuz where would you like to see her go? But you said you would like her to go through something. her reunited with Kevin. Yeah. You know, and be like, "Kevin, do you remember me when I was young?" We've We've come full circle. We've You know, I think if Kevin came back to town Yeah, Kevin's good now, right? Where did they leave Kevin? In a dumpster.
Yeah, no. In a dumpster. Kevin and Chloe, Liz Hendrickson, are still married. And um Marla Kanellos, who's one of the writers on the show, says that when whenever she can, she'll reference him somewhere. Okay. But you know, he's he's off living in Salem now doing something else. But he's he's around and I'd love to come back and visit you. Yeah, that'd be amazing. Break up Lily and Cane. Are you and Cane back together? Uh I'm sure we will be. Yeah. Billy Flynn not sure."
Billy Flynn is I'm not sure we are. Yeah. Billy Flynn um is one of my I hope he's listening. He's one of my favorite people. I love him. He's fantastic. He's amazing. I only met him briefly in the parking lot and only because of him cuz he was like obsessed He's like, "I love him. He's the best guy." Yeah. And he's so nice. He's so sweet. He's so great. I make fun of people when I like them, so I make fun of him hard. Yeah.
How ugly he is. He's like, "You know what? I'm so happy I'm a confident person cuz working with you would be rough." And I was like, "Shut up. You're stupid." I love him though. He's amazing. He is. And what an amazing actor. Like the way he his access of emotion is like just he's like just crying on I'm like, "How do you do that?" And he'll also do something like we I had an emotional scene once and he didn't even tell me he was going to do it. He told our director and he came over at the start of the scene and gave me a hug. And I was like, you Cuz like he got me right into where I needed to be. So he's he's terrific and he's also very generous.
He's he's he's the best. As are you. Please send him and everybody back at Y&R all our love. Thank you for me. I well thanks for having me. Yeah, this is too. Um you guys you can watch Crystal on The Young and the Restless weekdays on CBS or on Paramount+ and you can watch any episode this episode and any other episode of Soapy that you may have missed on the CBS YouTube channel and you can listen to us wherever you get your podcasts and we'll see you next time. Thanks for being
