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10 years of broken promises, hundreds of millions of dollars in victim settlements, and allegedly dozens of fatalities have been linked to the technology I'm about to try. I'm talking, of course, about Tesla's driving assistance features. Colton has generously agreed to lend me this dangerous machine so that I can experience them for myself. Good luck, dude. Do you use autopilot much? Teeny bit. Not a lot. just lane assist because it's kind of sketchy sometimes. That's fair. But while Tesla's full self-driving doesn't appear to be actually full self-driving, according to ongoing legal action, users love it and
independent analysis finds that for all of its misleading marketing claims, it may well be the best level two driving assistance system on the market. After spending some time recently with the comma AI, I'm really excited to try it. And to make things fair, I figure I get your self-driving machine, you get my driving machine for a month. Wa! Dude, what is this? You have to Do I have to use this? You don't got a card? Can I use my phone? I know. No, you can't. What? It's like going back in time. There's so many knobs. There's so many buttons. Oh, hold on. I need to Oh, wait. What do I Oh, power button. You have to turn it on. Porsche on. Why do
you need so many SC? One, two, three. Is this two separate screen? Got four screens. I've got a 100 buttons. Okay, this is going to take some getting used to. That same treatment that makes the windows super soundproof also makes them super cellular signal proof. Oh, cool. So, your reception in this car sick. Okay, got it. Do you want to take her for a lap and see how much you like driving a car instead of having it drive you? Sure. Fair enough. That's a good uh description. I'm going to check out your car and then when you come back you can let us know what you Sure, dude.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh my gosh. What? Hold on. You got to turn that knob on the steering wheel to drive mode all the way to the right, brother. What? Why are there so many things? Okay, sport plus. All right, see you. Thanks. Bye, guys. Oh, boy. That may be the last time I ever see that car. But hey, I have this now. You know, for all the winging that car people do about Tesla's build quality as a normie, I've never really found it to be that big of a problem. I mean, everything that I need to be here is here. I got my cup holders. I got my steering wheel. And
this is going to be a controversial take. I don't mind all the controls being here. And in fact, I would trade all my physical buttons tomorrow for a screen that doesn't nanny me. Being able to just go, "Okay, yeah, I need to bring up my map and here's the first three letters of the place I'm going." Boop. Just let me do that. My car doesn't. It makes me use my voice, which never works. Okay. Choose direction on touchscreen. Oh, wow. This one is even more it's all computer than my in-laws Model Y. I seriously shift into gear
using the touchscreen. Okay, maybe what I said before was a lie. Maybe they've taken things too far. Oh my god, he has one of the ones with no stocks. Oh, shoot balls. That was intentional though. See, even Tesla apologists will say, "Look, you're not really getting the best autopilot or full self-driving experience unless you have a hardware 4 car." So, I couldn't just use any Model 3 for this trial. I needed one of the newer ones for better or for worse. No turn stocks is going to like really bother me. At least it doesn't have a yoke. Hey, what's it like having turn stocks again, dude? It's so fast. But also like your backup camera
sucks. Oh, it's And like I have to shoulder check again which is fun. You don't have to shoulder check in that thing, dude. It shoulder checks for you. But I get it. I understand. I put it to normal mode. I'm good. I'm good, brother. I'm going to leave it there. I wasn't actually planning for this, but I guess in the second part, it'd be kind of cool to get your perspective on what it was like to actually manually drive again for a month. Yeah. Let's do that. In the meantime though, part one of the video is just me setting up full self-driving, subscribing to it because yeah, it's a subscription now, and then taking it for a ride. Let's do it.
Oh. Oh, and let's also do the segue to our sponsor. I love War Thunder. Ever since my grandson introduced me to War Thunder, I've been piloting over 2500 tanks, planes, helicopters from all around the world, and I feel like I've drank from the fountain of youth. My grandson says for legal reasons, you can't use War Thunder to drink from the fountain of youth. But you can join me and 95 million other players for free on PC, console, and mobile using our links. What's up, dude? All right, before we let you go, I could use a hand setting this up, but obviously it's on your profile, so you can check your stocks while you're driving.
My ston No, this is projected range. That looks like a stock tracker. It does. And I bet you could check your stocks while you're driving. That'd be a very Tesla driver thing to do. I haven't used this in a while. Do I just click here and just make myself a new? You should be able to I think I can invite you as an actual guest to make your own profile. So that way you don't need like the key fob thing either. Just use your phone, I think. Oh, that would be great. I can do it on the app though, dude. Does Porsche have an app? They do. But if I want to be able to use my phone as a key?
Yeah. A I need a subscription and B, I need a newer Porsche. Nice. Cool. Nice. Just a couple bucks. Suffice to say, I'll be carrying around their ugly, bulky key for now. Parental controls. I should probably turn this on for you. Turn a full suite of safety features, including speed limit mode, chill acceleration, and more. Oh, right there, buddy. Yeah. So, I've never subscribed to full auto self-driving. I think I had a trial for a month. I used it once on a road trip for a couple minutes. Didn't do anything bad. It was fine, but I was just a little bit like, I'm
good. I was with Steph and she was like, uh, theoretically, it's developed a lot since then. So, uh, do you want to come with me on this ride? Absolutely. All right. Absolutely. You've been invited to drive a Tesla. Download the Tesla mobile app. All right. 4.7 stars. For all of the hate that Tesla takes for various things, a lot of it deserved. They have pushed the entire industry forward in terms of treating cars like the rolling computers that they are and providing software updates.
It's really loud. You turn back the audio. I just don't know if they can hear you. my butt to sweat. That's more important to me than the other. Fair enough. Well, yeah. My uh my car's got a name. Does your car have a name? No. My car's name is Paul. Okay. It's Paul. See, be nice to Paul. All right. As long as it doesn't become a Paul bearer. I don't like driving around people named Paul. See how I went with the joke? Subverted the joke.
Got it. I got it shot. How the hell do I even get self-driving? Can you do it from here? Okay. Self-driving features. Auto steer. So, auto steer is the thing I've used. Visualization camera zoom. What the heck is that? I have no idea what that is. Okay. Well, speed limit warning. Forward collision warning. I like to live life on the edge, baby. Uh, yeah. Okay. Green traffic light shine. Okay. I don't think you can actually upgrade from there. You can. I'm There's no way you can.
You can. Yeah, you can. At the bottom. Upgrades. He's right. He was right at the very beginning. We didn't scroll far enough. Swipe to subscribe. All right. Nice. Okay. Yeah. Purchase successful. Wow. It lets you do it. Wow. That's new. Now, that is a low friction transaction. Good gravy, brother. That's my wife's credit card. What are you doing? I'm reimbursing it when we're done. Just joking. I'm just kidding. Whoa. Oh, it's Oh, it's rebooting to rebooting.
Oh, interesting. This is one of the ones that really turns me off of companies like Tesla and Rivian. I already have a cellular data plan. I already have it. I already pay for it. Just let me use Android Auto and CarPlay. Yeah, that is literally a dealbreaker for me. I did not buy a Tyan until Porsche supported Android Auto. Wouldn't I won't spot your phone. Uh it's a pain though. It's not as good. Okay. Android Auto. View live camera feeds from Sentry. I mean, if we're going to do it, you might as well do the whole thing.
We're going to have the Tesla experience. I swiped right on Tesla today. Is that the direction you swipe for? Like Okay. I've not used dating apps, so I don't know. He swiped twice. I swiped right twice. Is that like an extra match or what? Dude, I have no idea. Brother, I've been married for 10 years. I don't know. We're in the same boat. Vehicle access will be granted after login. Okay. Do I have an account? It's like we have so much creepy data collection in this world and yet they can't use it to do anything good.
Region. Well, I don't know. What region am I in? You creepy data collecting mother. Why don't you just tell me? Why do you make me say that? Okay. Well, we're off to a good start here. I [snorts] tried to register an account. Something went wrong. Try again later. Uh-oh. Uh, yeah. Uh-oh. Indeed. It was so easy to buy things, but registering for an account is not working. It gave me a code, but it never actually prompted me to put in the code. And now I feel like I might be in limbo here. While we're waiting, let's just do photo booth. Okay. Yeah, we'll do this. Okay.
I look dead. I look like I'm dressed in purple. What's up with that? Yeah. That uh tit quality is terrible. It drives me crazy how many cameras there are on every car now and how few of them just integrate functionality like dash cams. Why do I need a third party dash cam? To be clear that incar view the quality is terrible. Yeah. But it doesn't need to be amazing. It just needs to validate that you know that buddy that I was driving in my Uber or whatever vomited in the back. It was that guy. Like that's all I need from it. Lionus. Really? Oh, really? All right. I'm done.
You now have access to this vehicle. Oh, cool. All right. Success. Vehicle added. Saved. Oh. Uh, nice. Full. Oh, what's this? Drive your Tesla almost anywhere under your active supervision. Will make lane changes. Select forks. Follow your navigation. Right. Navigate around other vehicles and objects. And make left and right turns. It does not make your vehicle autonomous, so remain attentive. Blah. I understand. Auto shift beta. Sure. Yeah. So, auto shift. Okay. All right. You ready, brother? You're just turning on features. You don't even know what Do you know what auto shift is? Isn't that
the one where you get in the car and it decides whether you're going to go forward or backward? All right. Yeah. Seat belts on, brother. No kidding. Oh, also reset the car to do uh to enable premium. So, you got to press and hold both buttons for like 8 seconds, I think. Hold on. Let's do that first. Keep holding. Don't let go. I'm not letting go. I'll never let you go. Big moment. Where are we going? We're going to go on a little drive.
Smash Champs, Badminton Club, and Pro Shop. Yeah. Okay. Here we go, boys. Okay. Start self driving. Okay. Release pedal. You ready, Colton? Oh, I'm ready. Oh, it's signaling. Oh, it's moving. Huge moment. That should just go right over there. Nice. Okay. All right. Okay. So, do you have to like adjust the wheel every little bit or can you just I'm not doing nothing. I'm not going to do nothing until I need to do something. Um, now I got to say I was really impressed by the Kama AI, but not because I thought it was the best self-driving system. It's not. It doesn't even claim to be anything but a level two assist that makes your
existing level two assist a little bit better. But what I liked about it was that it was just open source and could be bolted onto any car. I expect Teslas to be a lot better. Dude, this road is the worst. It's okay. If it can do this road, it can do anything. Basically, is it I got to give it credit for not going super fast on this road because our visibility is trash. This is I This is almost the speed that I'd be going. I'd probably be going a little slower here. Not going to lie. Pretty magical so far. My butt's clenched, but I'm feeling good. I'm feeling confident.
It's It's inspiring confidence so far. Okay. I had a little bit of a false start there. Yeah, we could get a little bit. We could look. There we go. It could be creeping a little more less creepily. It could creep less creepily if it wanted. Yeah. I'm kind of amazed it goes for a right turn on a red to be honest. I mean, it's legal. It is. Yeah, it's legal. So, you don't have to touch the steering wheel. Not yet. Cuz doesn't integrate with your navigation. You just point it in the direction that you want to go and you're like, "Okay, go in a straight line. That's
it." H. Whereas this one, in spite of only being certified as a level two assist system, it actually integrates with navigation and attempts to do a lot more. It's just that Tesla does not have any transparency in their data collection and has not actually applied with regulators to be a proper like level four or level five system because then they'd have to do that. Um, and transparency is not really their thing. So they just kind of like we do a lot of stuff. Oh, by the way, you definitely need to be ready to go at a moment's notice. We got school zone coming up. We going to slow down to 30.
You know what? I'm going to back off more on the next one. We got another school zone coming up. I'm going to back off more. I'm going to see if it does it on its own. Oh, okay. Rather than just following the car in front of me cuz we're up to 35 now. And I know I did tell it you've got 15 km of margin, but generally speaking, it's more like four for school zones here. Tell me something. Would you consider subscribing for $100 a month if it turns out that it's like flipping awesome for me? The yes to the technology, I would say no because of legality. Like if it was an approved technology and it was fine for me to be behind the
wheel with self-driving on my phone or on my laptop or something like that, then Tesla said you'd be able to. Exactly. Then I'd probably be fine with it. Yeah. The only other use case I would see is if I'm going on some crazy road trip for like 2 weeks, then maybe also that I would use it. And that's when I had tried it before was on a road trip, which is it's pretty sick when you don't have to like stop and go and constantly pay attention. you can kind of just hang out and play I spy with the kids or whatever. Honestly, it's a really cool tech. The thing that just is frustrating for me about it is that there's been so little transparency and honesty about it. If they just said, "Yeah, this is what it is and this is how it works." Then I
wouldn't be mad. Yep. I agree with that. If I was a Tesla owner, glass half full version is like this is freaking cool. But the glass half empty version is you told me this thing was going to dramatically appreciate in value and was going to be out serving robo taxi rides to people while I slept making me money. So it's like really cool but also not what was promised. And also hardware 3 doesn't have the same capability as hardware 4. And there doesn't seem to be a concrete plan to get those folks upgraded. just like a tweet at some point saying, "Yeah, we should probably deal with that."
Wait, you can't upgrade your sensors or whatever? That's not like an option. I haven't looked, just to clarify. So, it's not just So, it's cameras. It's cameras and the computer. And right now, Tesla has, in spite of promising that every hardware 3 car will be capable of full self-driving, has no plan in place to upgrade those folks to hardware 4. They have not acknowledged whether or not hardware 4 will actually get there, but they're actively working on a new level of hardware that they say has like way more memory, I think is the word on the street, which to me indicates that we probably need way more memory to like really have it do it. So, we'll see how it goes.
Okay. I have not touched the steering wheel one time, though. That's pretty sick. That's pretty sweet. That's pretty crazy cuz even auto steer I would honestly I'm lazy. I would use it more if I didn't have to touch the wheel every little bit. It's a lot better than it used to be. I had a 2021 Tesla and I remember when auto steer first came out like understandably you had to basically have your hands on the wheel all the time. Whereas now if you do auto steer it's like once every seems like once every like 20 seconds which I know I sound like a lazy uh piece of crap but I don't want to touch the steering wheel at all.
Oh, where are we going brother? Oh yeah. Oh okay. We [snorts] decided to move over to the right lane just so we can move back in like 100 m. Okay, sure. It's still not going to be a human driver and that's not an intervention as long as it manages to get us back into the correct lane. They figured it out. Yeah, I think it would take a lot to get me out of my car. I love my car, but I have to drive my car. Well, that's exactly what I was just going to ask cuz I know you like to drive, but you also like to do other things when you what?
I feel like you like what? I don't know. What are you saying? What? Uh I don't know. Would you ever get rid of your car for something like this if it was more automated or simplistic to use? You like driving too much. My time is the most valuable thing to me. I don't think I'd ever give up having a car that I drive. But if my daily driver became a time machine that just transports me from one place to another while I can do work. Yeah, that's pretty sad. Then I would just have a second car with a manual transmission and a gas engine and that would be the one that I drive.
Right. That makes sense. Yeah. I hate driving. That's why I have a Tesla. Doesn't seem to know what to make of this. We're going 3 km an hour over the speed limit. I guess it's just this is a narrow road. I don't like it kind of thing. It's locked in at 53. It's like breaking on a downhill here. Yeah. And you can see it knows that we're at a 50 speed limit. Yeah. So, it's just It's got to be visibility, right? It's just got to be It doesn't know exactly like the rolling hills maybe.
Yeah. I don't know. I wonder if it'll speed up now. Oh my god. It's slowing down. It's just break checking this truck. Yeah, pretty much. Oh no. Pretty much this guy. If he passes you, Linus, just gesture at the wheel. Just go like, "It's not me. It's not me, man. Yeah, that'll that'll help. That'll help, Cole. Oh, never mind. I'm like getting anxiety. Yeah, just Yeah. Fair enough, dude.
Nobody drives the speed limit here. That's something that guys in this series, you're just going to have to kind of accept that our speed limits are really low, so nobody obeys them. Like you'll be going 10, 15, even 20 over and a cop will blow past you. No lights, no sirens. Just they're trying to get somewhere. You know what I'm saying? Oh, thank goodness. He's turning left. Yeah. Good, good, good. That's not an intervention, though. That's not an intervention. Zero interventions so far. That guy is like, "What? Oh my gosh."
You know, when people do that too, you're like, "Do I know that person? Where do I know them from? I'm forgetting something. I'm going scenile. I don't remember." And you're like, "No, it's probably just somebody messing with me." So, my mom's crazy strategy with road rage was anytime anybody gave her a really hard time, she would hardcore lean into pretending that she recognizes them. So she'd be like, "Oh, hey, hi." Like, it's amazing she never got killed. Well, yeah. What would they It would probably just make him more mad, wouldn't it? It's rage baiting. It is rage baiting.
Wow. Your mom knows rage baiting. Pioneer of rage bait. Yeah. It's amazing. I'm as agreeable as I am. Yeah. What happens if you change the little thing, the little drop down that says chill? What if you change that to like not chill? Will it go faster or will it just be more like jerky? Mad Max. Why is it called that? Honestly, it's not even that bad. It's not that bad. Yeah. Half of all Uber drivers would accelerate more aggressively than this. We are 3 minutes from our destination and have not touched the steering wheel yet.
Pretty good. Okay, but what if I try to not pay attention? I think if you close your eyes it'll I've done that before cuz the auto thing I can't close your eyes. No, no, no. I'm I'm not closing my eyes. I got you though. I got I'm not closing my eyes. I'm watching. Yeah. I'll go minus. That's the last thing you'll hear. Colton's voice. That is not the last thing you want to hear before uh before it all ends. How do I not pay attention? How can I try to trick it? is like it didn't even get mad at me about like as long as I was looking over here. It was like a he's good.
Yeah, you're okay if I'm pretty sure if you close your eyes or the thing that would always happen with me. Okay, I'm going to look down. I'm going to look down like I'm on my phone. Okay. What if it can't see my eyes? I can still see the road, guys. I'm good. Yeah. This is interesting. Is it seriously just going to let me do this? I think so. Oh, no. You're good. Apply slight turning force. What if I don't? What if I just don't? It might just stop. You need to What if I just don't?
I'd never done that before. I'd be very careful of that. And it might just kick you out of this. No, no, I got this. It's just going to make you drive. Okay. Cabin camera view of driver blocked and unclear. Apply slight turning force to steering wheel. Scaringly scaring me. No, no. It's funny. It's fine. What's it going to do? Just like ram into the I got No, it won't. It'll just I'm covering the bra.
It's unavailable. PULL IT OVER SOON. It's going to pull you over. Okay. Well, here. Let's let it do that. Oh, interest. On what? On this road, brother. There's nowhere to pull over. This is a two-lane road. Wait, are my hazards on Lionus? Not now. They are. Did it seriously? It put my hazards on. Guys, you're scaring me. Elon. So, it's just going to put my hazards on and then just Where's it going to take me? Where's it going to put me? In the bus stop. It's just going to go right into the curb. It's just going to go. OH GOD. IT'S JUST GOING TO STOP. PLEASE. That's crazy.
Yeah. We're like in a double lane road. Okay. Press voice message. I was trying to see what would happen if it couldn't see my eyes. There you go. Is this [snorts] Smash Champs? Can it park itself? Have you What? Have you never been No. What are you talking about? Can I get a membership here at smash champamps.com? Stop it. You I thought you wanted a plug. Uh, all right. End trip [clears throat] and then uh tap to park. [snorts] Okay. Hey, Grock. Yeah, I think I'm good on that.
Telemetry from your vehicle indicates improper use. Keep your hands on the wheel. These features will no longer operate after four more strikeouts. Count them. Four. That's okay. That's not going to happen, dude. You're going to get Oh my gosh. Okay. Lionus is in trouble. Start self-driving. Um, okay. We're not going to show this next leg of the journey because I'm heading to my house. Cut.
Okay. But it's going to pull me out of the parking spot stall. [clears throat] Okay. Driving. Oh, driving with no destination. I don't know why I did that. Go to You have to choose one from maps up. Where's it driving? Wait, hold on. If you just leave it, where's it going? Is it just going to drive around in a circle? Okay, let's find out. Let's find out where it's going to go. What the driving with no destination here. Get Whoa, this is crazy. Where are we going? What? I'm kind of Where are we going?
What? Where? Where are we going? wild to me that it would just what drive. I think it's going to my house. I think it just bugged. There's no way that it's just going to drive. There's no way. Is it going to go straight? Well, we'll know if it's going to go in the middle. Wait. Is it just going to No. Yeah. Maybe you're right. Maybe. It know. It knows where it's going. Holy. Okay. That was a intervention.
Holy Falls. Self-driving disengaged. Yeah. No kidding. Did you not? I pressed the brake. Yeah, I bet. Holy. It signaled right. Went up to the intersection. Went straight through the and somebody was turning. Somebody was turning left, dude. Okay. See that? Okay. Let's just let's just let's take a minute and decompress because like the comma AI was like obviously less capable. Okay. But in its less capability, I was way quicker to jump in and intervene. Whereas like this one, it went and signaled like it knew what was going on.
It's cuz that's where it was supposed to be going. It was supposed to be going to the right and it signaled right and then just Yeah, this thing's both arrogant and confident at the same time, which is uh not good for a beta technology. I feel like we've got to give it only like a partial fail there because [snorts] it did tell us, hey, I don't have a destination. So, I guess it got a little confused. But still, the way that it handled that was not cool. No, not cool, man. Not cool. And right now I couldn't help noticing we're going 22 over the speed limit. I do get that we like went to Mad Max mode, but I didn't change my margin for how much over the speed limit was allowed.
Uh-huh. So, what's up with that? Yeah, I don't know. I assumed that Mad Max would be more like acceleration and braking profile. Maybe I'm mistaken. I mean, these are all things I'm going to learn over the next month, I guess. Dude, that was crazy. That was nuts. I'm going to text my family, tell them I love them. This is fun though. It is fun. You having fun, Sen? I'm terrified. Oh, we're going 90. We were going 35 over the 90, brother. Yeah, I saw that. Mad Max, Okay.
Yeah, that's a little weird. So, is that what this means? This has nothing to do with I don't Okay, I'm going to go back to chill. So, does that just have nothing to do with acceleration and braking profile and everything to do with how far over the speed limit it goes? And if that's the case, then what setting was I changing before in here? So, it seems like there's two settings that change how far it'll go over the speed limit. And the speed limit one does not limit the other one. Like if it told me what these mean. Well, does it change your speed limit max when you change speed profile?
No. If I go to sloth, it's still 15 offset. Huh. And in sloth, we still like start moving. So, I don't know what the speed limit does. Who knows? Maybe Musk knows. Ask Grock. Oh, yeah. Hey, Grock. What? We have premium gun activity. It hasn't like kicked in yet. Come on, Paul. You got this. Let's go Paul. Yeah. Mad Max, hurry up. I got a meeting. So, is MadMax going to exceed by 15 here? Yes. Wow. Immediately like, "Yep, sure. Whatever."
Oh, did you catch it? Yep. Okay. Cuz we're breaking now. So, what is the point of setting a speed limit? Yeah. Oh, this is pretty good. Saw this guy. Waited for him to go. Nice. Here. Get this. That's pretty cool. It's pretty And he's clear. And we're good. It's going to find a parking spot or is it just Yeah. What if I tell it to park? Are we a valet or whatever? Uh. Where we going, brother?
Oh, okay. Bye. Oh. Uh we're not going to work anymore. Bye, office. Oh, we didn't put a unit. I think that's probably why. No line speak group. It would have a unit attached to it. Interesting. Oh, okay. But so we're just going to Oh. We're just going to Okay. We're just gonna park here. Yeah. Look at that. It's confident, man. It's like I don't care what your plaque says. Yeah. Reserved for me. Wow. Okay. It's cool that it parked, but um Good try.
Yeah, good try. A for effort. Let's go to our parking lot now. Just kidding. That was pretty good. Other than the one time, the one pretty bad time. That was pretty good. Yeah, it was pretty darn impressive on the way back. Other than that, zero interventions all the way to the wrong parking lot. I'm looking forward to this. I think this is going to be a lot of fun. Sick. And I am looking forward to ending this awkward outro by telling you about our sponsor, War Thunder. I didn't know a vehicle combat game could be so comprehensive and realistic.
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