32:16
All right. Okay. I'm going to play seriously now. I'm going to play seriously, It's fun to play with a gun while you're playing video games. tele off and then we [__] monetize your accidental suicide. How would I do that? Oh, UI. Let's see. Let's Let's see. It could be just pictures in the bottom left, Hermione, and all that [__] Oh, I'm Asian. You guys have separate. Mhm. We're all separate. Hey, you got paid to do it. Oh, thanks. Oh, someone paid for me. Thanks.
Hi, Brian. Oh, hey. How are you? Nice to see you on the train. Your eyes are Can you show me your wand? I don't understand this reference. I'M A [__] YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND this reference. Show me your the train to Hogwarts. I don't remember the line that you guys are referencing right now. Black Ops 3 zombies moments that gave my hog warp. Let's go. My game keeps like freezing every Yeah, it keeps stuttering.
It's pissing me the [__] off. It's like I don't play on your computer. Keep pausing every now and again. like just freezes and then are you pressing pause? Yeah, I'll just leave. You guys can play. No. No, you're not [__] leaving. I waited for you. I already left for [__] hour. I have a black screen. I'm in. Hey. Yeah. For all that. It's still stuttering. God makes you want to watch Harry Potter now. Is there's a [__] TV show coming out. That's right.
Snape's Black. What? You didn't see that? Yeah. There's a real defense against the dark arts coming, guys. IS THERE A BROOM? OH MY GOD. DON'T TOUCH THE BROOM. OH GOD. I TOUCHED THE BROOM. I'm at Hogwarts. Oh [__] Okay, I need to touch the broom. Brian, I touched the Brian. Now I don't have I can't touch the broom. Don't get him. Okay. Kidding. You got to get him, man. You guys have infinite ammo. Oh, no. There's I was checking the [__] ammo over here anymore. It's only in that spot.
Should we crawl into this broom and go flying? See if it works. I want to see Evan's corpse just [__] fly over here. All right, here we go. There it is. And I'm dead. Welcome back. What? He got here and died instantly. Wait, are these Black Ops weapons? Yes. The best weapons in the game. Snape is blacked and so are these weapons. Harry Potter for Shizzle my nizzle. Who the hell are these guys? Do you know anything about cornbread?
WE GOT BOOGER BOYS. I'M GOING TO DIE. I don't remember these guys in Harry Potter. Uhoh. Not sure what. Oh my god. Last release and the game is over. All right, guys. Holy [__] We [__] suck. Slowly, you're turning into Kermit the Frog. Oh jeez. I don't know how to do that. Oh, Mr. Butter. You mustn't go to Hogwarts this year, Mr. Potter. How [__] funny would it be? He's just randomly want to The Chamber of Secrets is open.
All right. Okay. I'm going to play seriously now. I'm going to play serious seriously. No, you're not. What? No, you're not. Yes, I am. Watch me. [__] are a liar. Watch me. I'm watching. Watch me, [__] If I die, it's your fault. Look at that. Look at that old man on that bench. He's looking real old. The old man that's dead. He's old, man. Evan at a funeral. God, that guy's old as [__] Well, yeah.
What the [__] happened? God, that guy's ancient. That guy is sees a mummy in Egypt. That guy's [__] old as [__] It looks like a body from Pompei. It's just a body of Pompei. Oh, what's that? Oh, he has zombie blood. Yeah, I got zombie blood. Maximum ammo. I miss the old voices, man. The new ones in the new game is like max ammo. Yeah, that shit's so stupid. Maybe they'll fix it in Black Ops 9. Doubt it. Black Ops 9. Back to World War II in Black Ops 9.
They'll never go back to World War II. Mark my words. They've learned their lesson. Every World War II game is bombed. Yeah, but there was a new World War II movie that just came out about the weather. About the what? The weather? Yeah, it's called Pressure. Bunch of dudes in a room talking about weather. Talking about the weather on eBay. Sounds like a news channel. There's a lot of zombies on I watched Hail Mary. That's the first movie I've watched in a long time. That [__] was so gay. It was pretty dumb. But people said they cried during that movie. Hey, listen, bro. That was awesome.
No, I didn't think it was terrible. I thought it was stupid, but like kind of fun. I think Brian cry. It wasn't like terrible. It was just Len cried. Okay. Yeah, that's [__] He's just like, "Oh, all of a sudden this little rock alien understands perfect English." A little rock alien kid can't do a thumbs up. He does a thumbs down. What a little [__] We love that little [__] We love him. Little rocket. But I did like that. Don't blow them up right next to you. It really hurts. You got to go. You got to [__] them from a distance.
Oh my god. I just stepped on the [__] on the fart. Yeah, you can't step on their goop. These guys don't stop coming and they don't stop coming. Neither do I. I just held the grenade until I exploded and died. Tyler the stairs. This guy mystery box. That guy's old. Look at that. Look at That guy is old as [__] He's a fancy that guy's one of the first guys ever made. He died doing what he loved, playing with brooms and drinking beer. Dude, if I went to Hogwarts, I would just get drunk as [__] the entire time. And then you go anywhere, you're going to get drunk as [__] Hitting another broom WILL BE SENIOR.
WHAT? IT JUST PUT ME BACK HERE. That's whack. Are you going to take a swim? I'm coming back. [screaming] Funny if you just died. Youring laptop can't keep up with this [__] thing. You need MORE RAMP GOING UP. IT'S THE WIBBLY WOBBLY WIBBLY STAIRS. DAMN, DUDE. HOLY, look at this. Wobbly wibbly. Which looks like this [__] looks like it would be in the back rooms here. Hear me. Hear my words.
Wand is required to open this door. Okay. He literally just said, "Okay." Yeah. So, there's some doors that require a wand. A wand is required to open. Two zombies just spawn in my butt. Poor zombies. Damn. These [__] just come out of the paintings. Oh no. Oh my god. Bro, I need jug. I need stamina. Can somebody There's a lot of zombies over here. Oh my god. He's so [__] far away. over here, please.
What the hell? How do you get that far away? I ran. Not the country, but I ran. What about him? Someone, please. I got RPK. You ran. I'm trying to get to you. Yeah. Oh, come on, guys. Come on. It's kill J. Just beline it to me. Please. RPK. You can't jump it. You Well, maybe you should have TOLD US EARLIER. GOD, YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. I JUST SAW EVAN RUNNING RIGHT OUT AND SAID, "THIS [__] retard's going to think he can."
You said you thought that, but you didn't say it. You should have known he was a [__] and said it beforehand. That's on you, man. That's on you. That's on me, guys. That's on me. I'm sorry. You got to predict the retardation before it happens. OH [__] NO, NOT AGAIN. NOT THE GOOPY GOOPER, GUYS. [__] I [__] hate these guys. A wand is required to [__] that fool. Mr. Potter, you [__] Maybe we should stay here and two I've opened this door. Okay, never mind. I'm in Snave's classroom. Shoot it. Ev, what do you get when your dick gets hard? Uh-oh. Uhoh. OH GOD. I'M RELOADING. I CAN'T WAIT. AH.
GET [screaming] OUT OF MY WAY. WE'RE DEAD. OH JESUS. I WAS RELOADING MY DEAD END. [screaming] YOU KNOW, YOU know why they call it a dead end, right? You died there. [__] hot as hell in Nashville. Holy [__] dude. Maybe we should get a better AC unit. I have good AC unit. Still get like I'm not planning a tie in my room desk cuz that shit's like 75. Okay, I'm going to go swimming tomorrow. Naked in a public pool with my penis out. What the [__] is this? That's the box. Oh, what the [__] is making noises? There's a There's like three old guys in there.
This appears to be some sort of weird sauna or hot tub or something. It's a lemon party. I like the idea of always referring to dead people as old guys, though. Dead. This guy is old as [__] Boogers. Everybody in the corner. Let's survive the booger apocalypse. Boy, check. I got an insta kill here. Give me a second. They sound scary. Let's get going. YOU GUYS HAVE ME TRAPPED. IT'S OKAY. We'll keep you safe. We'll keep What if he spawns underneath us? Who spawn?
You better shoot. [screaming] [__] [__] [__] BENCH. RYAN, I'd like to kill those guys easily. Bench, bro. [__] bench. Also, those guys are really old. You should have been able to kill them so easily. Brian, just so you know, they're prioritizing trapping me in the corner instead of going to save you. There's booger people to kill. You're still thinking out there? You think I'm going out there with booger people? Hell no. Oh [__] dude. I'm an M60. So, we need all the parts. There's Ray Gun Mark III or something. There we go.
You now have power. Look at this gun. The [__] I got So, where do we go now? Some weird green goo gun. You got the booger gun, I guess. [__] HE SNUCK UP ON ME. [screaming] OH MY GOD. I can protect you with my glue gun. Wait, what's down there? Why don't we go down there, which is here? But what about up here? And then it just drops off. No, it just drops The stairs move, don't they? It drops here. You can't. [__] Please don't don't go down there. Where'd you go? Where' you go? Don't go. Don't go down there. Where' you go?
Don't Don't go down there. Are you in the back rooms? I respawned. I'm fine. Uh, guys, come over here and shut up, Spoon. Guys, come up here. [screaming] You [__] [__] How'd you get up there? Spoon was going to warn you about that, but I told him not to. You just don't know. I held my breath. I held my Dude, I fell right into that tiny ass hole, dude. Yeah, I know. I FOUND A BOOK. A FLOATING BOOK WILL APPEAR ON THE GROUND. OH [__] KNOWLEDGE. We got to kill zombies. You going to get your knowledge in there.
Like the book is getting huge. Look at the size of the book. Oh [__] It is a magic book. There's a big ass [__] book. Booker, booger, booger, booger round. Oh, wait. If we buy PhD, does that make us Hold on. This is like a Isn't this immune to blast damage? Hold on. Let me test it. OH NO. NOT GOOD. DOESN'T SLIPS ON HIS ASS. [__] I need a rest. There's a perk in the middle. PARKER IN A MIDDLE PARK and a middle park.
Don't get it while we're down. Oh god. Spoon. Help us. Get off. Oh, I got both of you up at the same time. What the [__] Yeah, you can do that. ZOMBIES. [screaming] ALL RIGHT. This game is difficult. This is the hardest map in the world. All right. Oh, city of snow. Oh, nice. I got ray gun. Oh, nice. Evan, nice. I GOT A [__] GOLD. NICE. I rubbed THAT FOR YOU. [__] MAGNUM. The book is gone. Magic book HAS BEEN SATISFIED.
What does that mean? You guys saw You guys read the books. What does it mean? I didn't read the books. Yeah, you did. Pick up the wand, GUYS. HERE'S THE WAND up here by the bedroom door. Look, it's [__] Who is that? Is that Harry or is that Ron? Who the hell is this guy? He looks old. Some drunk guy. Some drunk guy dropped his wand. I'm grabbing it. I got it. What do we do with the wand? We got to open door in the stair room.
Hold E to use Aloha. Down here. All the way down, bro. This way. Which way? Oh [__] I'm going to die. Slow up there. He said down. Yeah, you got to go up and around right here. Alohora. It's open. Oh yeah. What the [__] is this? What is this place called? Down there. Oh, this is to Dumbledore's office. This is Dumbledore's office up here, I'm pretty sure. I open at the close. This must be the bio banding. Open this. Yeah. Open that. There's got to be Dumbledore's office.
Here's a part right here. Big part. Pack-a-punch. Here's another part. We can build a pack-a-punch. Oh, I don't know how you get to it, though. I think you're close to the magic book. Okay, right here. 1,200. Damn. [screaming] expensive. You guys aren't shooting anything. Shut the [__] up. You got zombies back here. Maybe you should have threw an army. That What does that mean? A fire cell.
It was a fire cell. Why is a pack-a-pack? It doesn't look like a fire cell. It's a pack-a-punch. Does that mean if we get something from the box, it's pack-a-punch or something? Maybe the pack-a-punch is free or something right now. Yeah. Check it out. Oh, I got to build it. Hold on. Cover me. HURRY UP. [__] HURRY UP. I'M COMING. HURRY UP. IS IT FREE,000? IT COST 1,000. GO. I paid full price. I pay [__] full price. God damn it. At least you had the money.
Why did you say like that? You finish laughing and you just use your last little bit of air bit. At least you had the money. I've opened yet another door. Welcome to the Epstein Files. Hickory dickory dock, you now shall suck my [__] Please turn to page 37 of the Epstein files, also known as the Chamber of Secrets. I've got bad news, Hogwarts students. Dumbledore has been found in the Epstein. There is an execution. I will now take over as your new head master. Turns out in the files Dumbledore was a bit of a head master himself. I open at the Never
had before. What the [__] does that mean? I told Oh my god. Golden snitch when Harry accepts that he's willing to die. He's ready to die. The snitch opens and reveals the [__] the philosopher stone. It's one of the three deathly hallows. What have you done with your life? Hallows. That's different than watching the movies after the second one. You've never seen all of them? Nope. I feel bad, too. Cleaning the house. Just put on some Harry Potter while you're cleaning. I do it. I do it usually like mid December. It's good. Like pre Christmas movies.
Yeah, it's two came out at that time. Seven. There's actually eight movies. Seven is two parts. Are they all good? Yes, they're all good. The first two are more like kind of chill and like fun and they feel like Christmas movies. They're more and then after the third one they get it gets a little darker. And then from four through eight it's then it's just straight up hardcore porn. Yes. All right. Load it up after this. I get jugged. Wish me luck. Oh, the [__] is this? Can I pause time?
Slows the zombies down. That gives me time to get drug. It makes the zombies [__] I don't know where Jug is. I don't know where my jug is. All the way up. Bathroom. Why do I keep getting stuck on stairs? It's like I'm playing Mecca. You're a [screaming] What just happened? YOU'RE A [__] You're a Get [screaming] me. I LIKE I WAS LIKE, WHY ARE THOSE RED LOOKING TENTACLE things there? And I tried to do this to Tyler earlier, but I didn't have enough money. Man, you a [__] 10 points off of being able to use it on you. I was like, [__] BRIAN, you have a thunder gun. come to spawn. Run to spawn. [screaming] I AM. We're on our way. There's a bunch of zombies.
You're the one who died. Okay, remain calm, dude. You're the one who literally died. Well, if I had [__] perks because some [__] [__] wanted to get a clip. Nobody else literally died, but you did. such a [__] Make that two clips. We're You're fine. Listen, man. It's [__] You're going to die. You're Are you going to get everyone killed cuz you're [__] around? No. You jackass. I had quick revive. Just want you to know about spoon. Oh, I found the room that they practice all the [__] in. Where's that?
This room where they were doing the stuff and the thing. I get there. Uh after you cross the bridge. The room right after you cross the bridge. Wow. This is crazy. There's a book right here. Where a book at? Place to buy. There's the [__] Quidditch field over there. There's the Buy it. There's a whole bunch of [__] Buy it. All right. Press E to initiate port key link. The Oh my god, that was so loud. Okay, you guys are looking for another boot somewhere and we can go from boot to boot. Trans book in Snape's office square.
Is that in Harry Potter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The transport key, the boot, the Weasley's. Oh, this is where Speedquil is. God damn it. We should have opened this earlier. I wish I could have this perk so badly. All right, there must be a book here or something. There's got to be something here that we haven't done yet. It's the [__] library. If there's not a book here, there it is. I see it. It's right here by him. There is. It's upstairs. Spoon, you should get Speed Cola cuz you [__] died. I wish I died so I could get it. I'm jealous that you can even Oh, a perk. Let Spoon by his spoon go by Speed Cola now.
Doesn't matter. Sounds like barely any perks. Okay, got it. [__] me. I got Deadshot, dick. New room open. Found it. Midway of the staircase. New room. There's a lot of old people in here. Use pork key. $1,000. And all it's going to do is teleport me to the book room. There's no way. Okay. Maybe the gate outside is open now. I'm going to go check that. You hit the boot. I didn't hit the boot cuz I don't know if it's going to do anything.
I'll just I mean Oh, what? You can do whatever you want. I don't care. All right. Hit the I hit the boot. I'm teleporting. Did you teleport to the small room where the book was? What the [__] is this? Look, there's a Nether portal and an old guy. Port key is cooling down. You're all alone. All right, I'll wait for you guys. Me and this old guy will wait for you guys.
Close. Is this a Is this the boss fight? Probably. Yep. You're on your own. Oh, [__] And I'm teleporting back. Yeah. Okay, good. We all do the boot together and then we all got to do the boot together. Was there not something for you to do there? There is a portal for me to go through that I didn't go through cuz I wanted to wait for you guys. Okay. Here we go. Y. Look at this. A portal AND AN OLD GUY. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. Old guy through the portal. Everybody. The old guy.
What's this? Oh, where are we? There's an old woman. Where? Has an M old E for little Arie. 9,000. You guys can buy little Aries. You definitely should. Yeah, [__] is good. There's a door here. Yeah, I'm not going to do it yet. I want to look around. Make sure we don't miss nothing. How do we go? All right. Oh, I already have. There's a door on the desk. What do we do here? That's just to buy little to buy that. It was just to buy littleies and to buy this.
I did something. I bought the door that was there. So, now there's a door that's open. Which door? I'm outside. Wait, maybe. Oh, I bet it opened. Did it open the gate by the book? It did. It opened a game on a book. I found a new room. Another new room. If we lose, I'm going to bed. Just you know. I know. Okay. Arie. I'm trolling Arie. Trolling to Arie. MY BALLS. GET IN THE ASS. I'M UP HERE WITH ARIE. I just need Jug, man. I'm good. If I had Jug, I'm good.
Problem is, I'm going to die before I even get to it again. Just go. That door did not open. God damn it. How much [__] magic do we need to open this goddamn door? So much magic, dude. What are we opening, bro? I'm so sick of this [__] Maybe this Maybe this is why this map got four stars. Yeah, cuz half the people, the people, the old guys you keep seeing around the map, those are people that were playing the map and they got bored and they got old. Map is doing the bare minimum to keep me engaged. Soon as I'm about to give up, I find a new thing. I'm like, "Oh, jingle. There's something interesting."
Yeah. See, the game's spooky. Random perk. What the [__] happened? I'm going to say a slur. The death machine was right there in the green gas. Oh. Got to go. See you. How many times can I pack a punch? Thank you. Oh my god. Max ammo. All right. Okay. We're so back, boys. We're so back. You just got to remain calm, man. You just can't panic, dude. [clears throat] I've never panicked.
Understand? I've never panicked in my life. I might I actually might say a slur. Why? Oh, Brian, you have no points. Oh [__] Brian, you're broke. What happened? I lost all my perks, all my guns. Uh, where did all your money go? It's all gone, Tyler. It's all gone. What the hell? He's got He's dead. He's got nothing. He's gone. I'm going to go ahead and teleport, guys. If you need me, I'm going to be Oh no. All right, you guys could be the research team. Research this map on YouTube.
You OH MY GOD, THERE'S TWO NEW PORTALS NOW. When you go through the orange one, what? Did you go to the Did you do the boot thing? Then there's a blue one. Did you do the boot thing? What the [__] piss is this? IT'S THE [__] GOBLET OF FIRE FOR $4,000. I'VE OPENED IT. BRIAN, you're dead now. You can look. See? Look. The goblet of fire up here on top of this bridge. Awesome. Go. Teleported up here. And there's this. And there's a dead guy. I have so little currency in this game right now.
You've so little currency. Very little. I punched the gun like four times and I died. So, what is that [__] [__] thing? The whatever the little girl's name thinks you're cheating or something. I think that you think it thinks you're cheating for some reason. How? I don't know. Is there modded maps? Just happens sometimes. I was saying like it's not a big deal, dude. It's not a big deal. It just happens. Relax. Got to relax. Just got to relax, dude. So why you got unlucky, dude? It's not a big deal, man. Like come on. Don't ruin it for Look at all the other ways you are lucky in life, you know? Like look, you get to play zombies with me.
Should we get a crawler? No. I'm about to kill them all. I'm going to be honest. I just have to see if the Chamber of Secrets is open. It is open. Holy [__] It's actually the Chamber of Secrets. Okay. So, what do we do? Where do I go? We have to find a bassilisk. There's a book. Book down here. You want me to just survive for now? Yeah, just survive. I'll kill people by the book. Oh my god, there's like three more books. This is going to take forever.
The [__] This map is kind of dope. Map is [__] fire, isn't it, Brian? This map [__] sucks dick. [__] can't believe just got a little unlucky left. This map is you just need to relax. Shut the [__] up, dude. I've got no money, no [__] I got nothing. We're going to fight a bass dude 100%. Spoilers, dude. I haven't seen Harry Potter. You actually haven't seen Harry Potter. I stopped watching after the first two movies. The second movie is when he fights the basilisk. Yeah, you've seen that.
Oh, I don't remember. So, you fell asleep in this dude. Dude, I don't think What is this? Do you want to teleport with me or should I just do it? Get the [__] done. All right. Oh, for what? We I'm doing the last part. Look, you go in here. There was this portal and then there's this one and now this one. No, wait. Did I [__] up? I'm dead. I [__] up. AND YOU'RE DEAD. It's all good, dude. It's all You got to relax. Look at my bright side.
Yeah. Look. Look at that side. Look at that s. She's like, "Come on, relax, guy. Chill. Relax." Look at that. I said, "Now I could get the perks that I want. I'm in the room after you jump across the bridge." Yeah, man. I'm not getting to you, bro. I'm over here with a goblet of fire and a guy with a [__] sword in his head. You're going to bleed out way too fast. Don't do it. I'm right here, man. I'm right here. THROW A [__] YO, YOU'RE RIGHT [screaming] THERE. He was right there, man. I could have had him.
Wow. Okay. Hey, I have to play now. You did that. Shut up. I'm going to die. It's going to go away. Oh Nice. Shut up. Let's go. Why did you take that? Actually, Dude, I had no ammo on my other gun. Drag it off is good, dude. Watch. This looks so chaotic. me on fire. Yeah.
It's not bad. Look, look, look. Damn, dude. I was I wanted to see the boss. We were right there, man. I was I shouldn't have [__] around. I [__] Finish it next time. I need to go to bed, but I want to finish it. There's no way. I do not the longest map of all. I'm not playing for two more hours. We're on the bright side, man. At least this video is going to be a eight out of 10. Yeah, this video is going to suck. Guys, are you watching the video right now? If you are, be sure to click a like on it. It'll help out a lot.
Click a like. Click a like on it. Leave a click a like on it and leave comment. Damn, that's pretty sad. What's sad? that we didn't make it to the end. Just got to play it again, man. So we can get two eight out of 10. We're playing it like tonight. No, wait. How? Just take a nap and then take like a like Yeah, let me take like a 7 hour nap. Let me take like a 7 hour nap and I'll come back. Like 40 minutes. [__] no. You're out of your I'd rather kill myself. I took a 40-minute nap then came back and played zombies. I'd be awake for the next 3 days.
I'm going to wake you up in 40 minutes. No, you're [__] I'm putting my [__] on. Do not disturb. I'm going to call Uber Eats. I'm going to call your house and say knock on the door really loudly. Knock on the door like the police. I'm going to kill you. I'm I'm order just a small order of fries from McDonald's. Tell the guy slam on the door. My doorbell is broken. Just slam on the door. Dumbledore.
Do not slam on a Dumbledore door. Please slam on the door and say that it's time to go to Hogwarts. Be funny. I might do it. No, you won't do it. You're going to wake up my baby. I will [__] kill you. If I don't come into the door, just go to the back and throw a rock at the window until it breaks. Just break into my house and come and actually shake me in my bed. If I start yelling at you to If I'm still asleep, just start shoving the fries in my mouth.
