Grieving My Grandfather A Personal Reflection on Loss and Funeral Traditions

I lost my grandfather two days ago. There you have it, at least the basics of the video have been said and laid. So this video was obviously not planned. These are often the phrases that YouTubers say, but in this case it wasn't planned at all. Finally, I originally planned to make a video about the story of David Gogins, but let's just say that having experienced the loss of my grandfather a few days ago made me want to address the theme of grief. It won't be a happy video, it won't be a fun video, we're not going to talk about my range of food supplements and nutrition chef. We're going to talk about a subject that we will all face, hopefully as late as possible. I think that making this

video in front of you is a bit like doing my psychoanalysis somewhere, except that I'm talking to myself and there's no one in front of me. Finally, if you're here in the comments, you'll be here. So, my grandfather, OK, I just mustn't. I just have to stay serious in the video. We're men, we're tough, we don't cry. OK, no, I'm kidding. [laughs] Of course, you have the right to cry, especially on this theme and especially on that day, the day of the funeral. If you don't cry, then I would n't call you monsters, far from it. Wait, that's not what I meant. But if there is one moment in life when we should show our emotions, it is during a funeral, it is when it affects the family. You will also see in the video that sometimes my voice falters

a little. Perhaps a little bit of emotion is overwhelming me, but I will try to remain as audible as possible. OK? To preserve my grandfather's identity, I will not include a photo of him in the video. There will be no video. Well, even though between us, copyright, now that he's dead, well, I think we'll be more strict about it. [laughs] I'm kidding. Of course, I'm kidding. I love dark humor. Oh [__]! So my grandfather passed away at 84 years old. You will see in fact in the death of my grandfather, we were not shocked at all by his death. Yes, we were shocked the day we found out, but we were expecting it. Especially since 84 years old is a very good age and we would all like to die as late as possible. My

personal goal is to live to 100. OK, I hope what I just said won't age badly. I touch, I touch wood. That's not real wood. I'm knocking on wood. I touch my head. My goal is to live to 100 with abs. OK? As muscular as possible, as fit as possible, as independent as possible. The goal isn't just to age backward. The goal is to live a long and healthy life while remaining self-sufficient for as long as possible. 84 years old, the age at which my grandfather died. As I was just saying, I think he had a very good life, a rather classic life, and worked for the Securitas company. These are the people who deal with security in companies. By the way, this video is sponsored by Secur. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

The video isn't sponsored, which is great. There are some issues, let's not get carried away. My grandfather had been battling various cancers for 6 years. He was winning, then another one came along coming back, and then another one arrived. It was tiring. It was very tiring for both him and my grandmother, who had become a 100% caregiver out of necessity. Luckily she was retired too because her days were spent taking care of my grandfather. And the older you get, the more appointments revolve around the medical field. Scans here, appointments with a general practitioner there, back to the oncologist. It's

tiring, it was exhausting. Even though my grandmother has always been fit, she is a really active woman, super dynamic, you can tell that for 6 years this whole thing has tired her out. Moreover, I wish her, after the death of my grandfather, to be able to take some time for herself, to take some time to look after herself and to get out of the daily routine of hospitals, which, even though the staff were incredible, we were at Purp Hospital in Toulouse. They were super patient, absolutely lovely at my grandfather's bedside. But hey, it's true that the less often you're in the hospital, the better off you are somewhere. So as I was saying, he had been fighting cancer for 6 years and inevitably as the years went by, his condition was slowly

deteriorating. He remained lucid until the end of his life. In fact, he had a famous phrase: "It's going to be alright." Always aware of who was speaking to him through memories. Luckily, we were able to see him a week before he died and even though he was very tired, very thin, I still remember touching his shoulder. The shoulder is very, very thin. OK, now I'm refocusing a bit. OK, did you see? the voice that leaves every time. We breathe a sigh of relief, everything went well. OK, we can continue. Okay, I'm back in. So my grandfather was really thin but he remained lucid until the end of his life. And that's when we also realized that we were a united family because when we

walked through the hospital corridors, many were alone in their rooms simply waiting for death. And it was incredibly sad to see. I understand, all families are busy, everyone is working, everyone is at school. But here's a little message from me. If you ever have grandparents in hospitals, don't hesitate to give them a quick phone call, go and see them, it will do them good and you too in a way. So, for a week, the time he was hospitalized until his official death, his condition improved and then worsened. Better, worse, better, worse. It allows you to prepare in a way, even if you're never really ready

for this kind of event. It allows you to gently tell yourself, it's going to happen, it's not a surprise, it's not an accident. I don't even dare to imagine the pain of losing a loved one suddenly in a car accident, for example. The suffering must be terrible. Furthermore, I'm thinking of you watching the video if this has ever been your case or Red Bull's. Vodka. Red Bull. So in a way, we were expecting what happened. So, in the days before, we inevitably had little bouts of anxiety, not anxiety, but little bouts of sadness, of tears as we projected ourselves into the future, saying "Damn, we won't see him anymore." Thibo checks, checks, checks, checks. Right now, my voice is rising, my voice is falling. I don't know why I'm using a

Toulouse accent. We are stabilizing. I feel that the tear duct there, it's full and clogged, but we're here. OK. Unk. OK. I should have brought two or three small tissues, but it's okay, don't worry, we're fine. As I was saying, in the days before , we did have little moments where we cried. We were clearly crying. Uh, my throat is tight, I feel like crying. But on that you shouldn't hold back, you shouldn't act tough. I'm trying to act tough in front of you, but what can you do? So, when you've loved someone, well, it's normal to be sad. OK, we're here. Perhaps the act of contracting causes the tear duct to descend.

I'm trying things out. So, you love a loved one, they die, and you cry. That's normal, that's life, all the better. That means you are human. Welcome to the human world. But then, bam, we learn the news. He has passed away. At first, I didn't necessarily realize it because I've also been preparing you for 6 years and then for a good week for the fact that it could happen from one day to the next. So, I called my parents, brothers, and sisters, we checked everyone's temperatures, everyone was sad, that's normal, my aunt, and in a way, we all reassured each other by saying, "Well, he's better off where he is now than where

he was a week ago, which was in bed. He'd lost weight with I don't know how much chemo in his blood, he has the right to go and rest too. So it would be selfish of us to say, 'No, no, no, no, uh, keep him alive as long as possible so we don't get sad.' He was tired and he passed away naturally. In his sleep, I think it was around 10:30 PM or something like that. Everyone would like to die after a good meal, even if it was just indigestion. Well, good meal, he was in the hospital. Mind you, I'm not putting down the food served in hospitals, but still, I hope he ate well when Even so. Actually, it's funny because in hospitals, they distribute a lot of protein shakes because what happens is that

elderly people, well, they waste away, they lose muscle mass, especially since they're bedridden, and to keep them in shape as long as possible, they're given protein shakes. I think we're going to deliver 30g protein shakes to hospitals to help our seniors. So, for those who still think protein is doping-because yes, in 2025 there are still some who think that-no, since we also give it to elderly people in hospitals and to children in baby powders. If you see " whey" written on the label, well, that's protein. So, following his death, we received the call. My parents and my brother were busy, busy taking care of all the formalities at the town hall after the death, and so on, and it's true that, like There's

so much paperwork to fill out when someone dies, in the end you don't have time to be completely sad. Well, not immediately sad, because you're immediately immersed in organizing the ceremony, the fields for the church, contacting the funeral home. There are so many things for the family to think about that, in the moment, they don't have time to be sad. Hence the fact that it's often during the ceremony that the tears come, it's like a tsunami in their eyes. So, I did n't want to do the placing in the coffin. That's the moment when the person's body is in an open coffin. You can go see it, touch it. I had already touched a dead body for a YouTube video a few years ago now. You're often surprised by the coldness of the body

and by what's called rigor mortis. It means that the body actually stiffens; it's impressive. My little brother has He was very brave. At 15, well, it's not easy to see your deceased grandfather's body lying motionless in a coffin. But honestly, hats off to him. My mother went too, and she told me somewhere that it was reassuring because she felt that my grandfather's soul had ascended to heaven. It was no longer in that body, which today was just a corpse, so to speak. I'm using big quotation marks, of course, you know what I mean. So, everything was organized. We went to the church. The ceremony took place in Pibrac, near

Toulouse, where I grew up. And since I had moved to the Netherlands, which meant a three-hour drive, I was n't sad the whole time. It was like I hadn't realized he was dead. I was lost in my thoughts. I was listening to the news. I was thinking about video topics. At no point did I thought to myself, "Come on, let's have a ceremony to bury my grandfather." Oh no, I wasn't sad at all at that moment. So we get ready, we put on our suits, we head towards the church. For the moment, it's okay, and then we see all the relatives, the friends, the family, everyone who was there for my grandfather in his life, and they're crying. And then, oh my god, it hits you like a ton of bricks. You clench your jaw, you tense up as much as you can.

You're there, it starts, it's like the beginning of a cold, you know, you start to get that feeling. you're not sick, you don't have a cold, you don't have a virus, but your nose starts acting up and then it's uncontrollable. Honestly, the tears, it's crazy. You cry and cry. It's insane, the emotions, how they are. It's insane, the emotions, how. It works. We're hugging, everyone's sad, of course everyone's crying. I try to make little jokes, a bit dark humor, but it doesn't really work. It doesn't really work, and I tell them badly because [laughs] half the time, I'm half crying. So, we're not in the right frame of mind here. And yeah, I even try breathing techniques to avoid crying too much. The

famous 5-5 method: 5 seconds inhale, 5 seconds hold, 5 seconds exhale, 5 seconds hold, and repeat that pattern. I try that, it works a little. I also try to act as if I'm watching myself from a distance, as if I'm a little bit detached from everything that's happening. But, yeah, no, it doesn't really work. And in the end, what's the point of finding a technique? We're sad, we're sad. We have to accept it. Right. It's about that, uh, even if you're the bravest person in the world, crying at the death of a loved one is normal. And like I said at the beginning of the video, thank goodness. I've also noticed, which is interesting, that we cry in bursts. Basically, one minute

it's fine, no problem. Then suddenly, we think back to our grandfather or the relative who passed away. All the good times we shared with that person, it's there, that's me breathing. What did I say? 5. OK. We have a little tear along the canal. There we go OK, no problem. We're. My voice is rising into a high pitch. OK, we wipe it a little. That one's tough. That one? Ah, that one's tough. There's nothing we can do about it. Honestly.

I'm trying to control myself, but OK. Well, we say that all those moments with that loved one who passed away, we'll never experience them again That word was hard to say. OK, Thbo, think about protein. There you go, Thbo, think about your upcoming biceps workout. There. OK. Think about something else. OK. Biceps workout. Biceps curls. Triceps. OK. Tick tock. We won't see that loved one anymore. He passed away, he's dead. That's the simple way to put it. So, as you saw in the video, that's exactly what I wanted to say. Sometimes it's okay, sometimes it's

better, and so on. And it's really an alternation all day long. It's quite strange. And I remember one evening a headache. My head was aching. It was horrible. The fact of crying, the fact of seeing other people crying, it's, yeah, it's, it's the lump in my throat. A little. Okay, we're here. There, you don't necessarily have to hold back your tears. Don't do what I 'm doing. [laughs] OK. OK. So, my father tells us we've been selected, we've won the jackpot. No, we haven't been selected, we have n't won the jackpot, but we had the opportunity to carry my grandfather's coffin to the hotel. So, the funeral home staff, they

shouldered the coffin, and we grabbed it. So, there were two little brothers, my father, and me. We grabbed it by the handle. One hand like this, the other hand underneath, and then, on the shoulder. And we also had the French flag on the coffin. No, it wasn't a dream of my grandfather's related to the French flag in my gym. You can imagine, but it's because he was a veteran. So, we carried The coffin. It's quite heavy, because even though my grandfather wasn't very heavy at the end of his life, an inert body, well, it still has some weight to it.

Actually, as an aside, carrying the coffin gave me a sort of excuse to stay focused and not just cry because, yeah, in one weekend, I think I cried a whole pool of tears. So at least I was concentrating on that. We started with the left foot, I remember, the funeral home staff told us to start with the left foot first and off we went. We all tried to brace ourselves, but yeah, it was a powerful moment, I'll remember it for the rest of my life. We brought it to the front of the hotel, facing the priest at the back of the church. There, the funeral home staff repositioned the coffin and gently placed it in front of the priest. We went back to our seats and then it began. The mass started. The Songs, testimonials, everyone mingled a bit. I'd

also prepared a short speech. I tried to slip in a couple of jokes. It made people laugh. It made the audience laugh a little. I was quite proud of myself. I made a reference to the fact that he did n't like cheese. And so, there you go, it allowed for a little laugh from the audience. It was a bit of a relief, all the same. Especially since my grandfather was someone who. OK, biceps, biceps, biceps session. Hop, biceps, biceps. Protein shaker in nutrition. You get 10% off with the code new 10 for those who want to take protein and creatine.

OK. Tac. My grandfather was someone who laughed a lot, who smiled a lot, who loved jokes. So it's normal that I Let's have a little bit of humor. OK. Protein. Creatine. Steroid. No, not a steroid. Not good. Yeah. Creatine. OK. Steroid. No, no, no, no, no. There you go, it's happening. We're in the fields, we're all crying. We shoulder the coffin again as we leave the church. There you go, everyone's crying, everyone's devastated. But it's also an opportunity to see family again, and that was really cool. Seeing childhood friends of the family that we hadn't seen in a long time. So that was really nice. We talked, and of course we

were all sad and so on, but that was the point of talking about something else, seeing people I had n't seen for 10 or 15 years. So that was really the positive side. There you go. Positive side, negative side. On the negative side, my grandfather died. On the positive side, we talked again to people we had Haven't spoken in 15 years. There you go. [laughs] Well, I think I've lost a little bit on this list, but oh well, that's not what we want. In the evening, we had a little get-together at home with some cousins who came over, it was really nice. Like I said, seeing family again

is always so lovely. The weather was gorgeous too He passed away, it was early October. The same day with gray rain would n't have been the same. And then, we went back to the hotel and the next day, we drove to Limoges because my grandfather was from Limoges, so he was going to be buried there. You should know that there's a huge cemetery in the city center of Limoges. I was told it's one of the biggest in Europe, 40 hectares, it's enormous. That's where my family is buried. Grandfather had been buried. There was a sort of family vault. It was one of his wishes to be buried there. So we arrived at the cemetery, and we saw other families who were from Limoges and so on. We saw

family again, it was really great. Of course, everyone was saddened. Especially since there were family members who hadn't been able to attend the ceremony the day before. A ceremony where we had all cried a lot, we had really let it all out . So we were going to bury my grandfather with our hearts a little lighter. I don't know if you understand what I mean, but we had taken a big step. The ceremony, for me, was the most touching thing, and the burial was a little less so. There you go. But I can understand for people who didn't attend the ceremony the day before and who only attended the burial.

It must really be the saddest part. So the hearse enters the cemetery, we walk single file. But once again, the weather is beautiful, I 'm not sad at all. My brothers and I joke around, we talk about this and that. The saddest person there was my grandmother, of course, because we all experience grief in a different way. Losing your husband, with whom you had been married for how long? 63 or 64 years, I think. The grief of losing your other half isn't the same as the grief of losing your father, isn't the same as the grief of losing your grandfather, isn't the same as the

grief of losing your brother, cousin, and so on. So everyone experiences grief differently. We turn into one of the cemetery's paths, and there, suddenly, the vault was open. We could see inside the vault. It was impressive. Several coffins were stacked on top of each other. The coffin is taken out of the hearse. It is presented in front of the grave. There, the master of ceremonies invites us to come closer. He gives a very, very good speech. It was truly a great team. Not too dramatic but touching at the same time. It was the perfect balance, exactly what was needed. Again, for the moment I'm not necessarily sad until the moment when they start playing music, plus this atmosphere, plus my grandfather's coffin. All of it combined,

it comes flooding back, I grit my teeth. But it's coming down, it's coming down, there's nothing we can do about it. A few short speeches, it's not holy water, but we can sprinkle a little on the coffin. We can touch it. By the way, I didn't mention it earlier, but during the ceremony at the church, we put little candles on the coffin. So, we catch our breath and so on. Then they explain that, uh, they're going to bury my grandfather. So, it's a bit of a moment, not that we I've been dreading it from the start, but we know it's going to happen, we know it's hard. So, what was funny was that I was expecting to see earth being put in the ground, earth, burial, uh, the word earth is everywhere. But it was a family vault that was buried with

a ladder that went down quite low. So, we didn't see any earth. So, I did n't say, "Excuse me, sir, could we redo it with earth, please?" Because in my mind, there's earth." No, Tibo, go to hell. There's a family vault, we respect the traditions. So they lowered the coffin, which they held with a rope. A rope that went through the wrists we held. Hop, hop, hop. There was someone at the bottom who was able to position the coffin neatly. We were able to say a few words, take our time, talk again, hug each other, embrace. It's true, we've never been as tactile as we were during a funeral. But it comes naturally. In fact, you shouldn't force it. Uh, if you have a little trouble hugging and all that, don't force it either.

It's something I've noticed, anyway, that happens simply, that happens completely naturally without forcing it. And on that note, don't worry, if you see loved ones who aren't crying, no Besides, it's not that they're heartless, it's just that we all deal with grief differently. We all put things into perspective differently, and whether we're religious or not can help us too. It's true that I don't go to church every Sunday, I don't pray every day, but I believe in an afterlife. For me, there's a paradise where everyone is beautiful, everyone is happy, and everyone works out every day. That's my vision of paradise. And it's true that there are people- no, there are people-who imagine that at the end of life, when we die,

well it's over. It's the end credits. The list of everyone who participated in life, and then ciao, bye-bye. Personally, I find that vision a bit sad. But who am I? Who am I to dare criticize your A way of thinking? Nobody believes it, everyone believes it or not. Besides, tell me in the comments, what happens after death? Go ahead, go ahead, I'm waiting. So, personally, I'm really clinging to the fact that he's better off where he is. He's not suffering anymore, his days aren't filled with medical appointments. He's in heaven, he can talk to his parents again, all the loved ones he lost. And that's really what I'm holding onto.

Does that sound like I'm putting things in perspective? Yes, certainly. But in any case, he's not suffering anymore, and that's the most important thing. Especially since I have no regrets. I made the most of it, I still called him regularly. Often, yes, you can always do more, but it's okay. And I was able to see him a week before he passed away, talk to him and so on. And frankly, that's just wonderful. I consider That in the dimension of a dead test, somewhere along the line, we were very lucky. I'd also like to take this opportunity to think of each of you who have lost a loved one recently or not so recently, whether it's a

parent, a sibling, a relative, or a friend. I want you to know that you are not alone. We all experience these kinds of difficult moments. But it must be said that these loved ones who have passed away are now with us every day. They are constantly with us. They help us without speaking, guiding us to make the right decisions, directing us when we have doubts. And whether you are a believer or not, you can communicate with them through prayer. In any case, we will join them one day. I hope for you, as for me, that it will be as late as possible. So one day, we will join them. So don't worry. Everyone moves at their own pace through grief. Everyone deals with it in their own way.

I think it has done me a lot of good to talk to you about it. Crying, being sad, angry-these are all part of the journey. Today, I know that my Grandpa is still here in another form, but he's present, and the same goes for your loved ones. You have the right to be sad, the right to cry, or to smile when you think of them. Grief, in a way, is a way of acknowledging that we're not immortal, that life passes, and that we must continue to love our loved ones every day while remaining a good person, or at least trying to be one.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to me during this very personal moment. Now, I'm going to go do a workout to take my mind off things. [laughs] And I'll see you very soon for another YouTube video because you guys are the best. Bye!