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I want to show you a moment from a town hall in Michigan uh that was held with our esteemed or certainly steamed vice president Jeffrey Dahmer Vance. Uh Pretty sure that's what that stands for. A woman in the audience at this town hall politely, concisely, powerfully confronted the vice president on his uh let's call it record of dehumanizing rhetoric towards immigrants. Why are you scapegoating immigrants for the issues you're supposed to be solving as the vice president? I appreciate the question. In no way not on any planet, not on any timeline does J.D. Vance appreciate that question.
He's ing hates that question. It makes his beard itch. And that might be your first tell that the answer that this young woman is going to get is not going to be the real one, but uh I'm sorry to interrupt. Continue. I appreciate the question. And I would say um and to the extent that my rhetoric has been imperfect here, that's on me. Oh. Is it your rhetoric? Oh, UH POOR BUDDY'S NERFECT. SO SOMETIMES YOU incite violence against vulnerable communities and then later on you apologize. I mean, we all read mine bad. Sure, no, I get that. So the dehumanizing rhetoric against
immigrants, which all of us thought was a cornerstone and intentional strategy of both Donald Trump and J.D. Vance's rise to power, including falsely accusing an entire community of Haitian people of eating people's pets, which Vance admitted was just a useful lie. Actually, that wasn't intentional. It was all just sloppy word choice. That was all on him. Oh, eating them? No, no, no. I meant to say they're booping the dogs. They're booping the cats. The point is I take J.D. Vance at his word, and I'm sure that the vice president will do better the next time he has an opportunity not to demonize immigrants. Which as luck would have it, may or may not be just 2 days later. But
just keep that in mind. We're going to hold on to that for a little bit later as we move to France, where Paris is burning, and not in the Not in that way. Not in the good fun way. It's burning more in THE AH, IT'S ACTUALLY [__] BURNING. THIS WEEKEND, RIOTS exploded throughout France. Cars were on fire. Buildings were on fire. Pants were on fire. Apparently, many of the protesters were liars. WHO EVEN IS RIOTING? Officials in France have said this is a left-wing movement that is behind the protests and not immigration.
It's not anything to do with Islam or Muslim communities. This is French society across the board. Got it. Not Muslims. Not immigrants. Remember what we were talking about earlier in the show? J.D. Vance, here's a chance to perfect your rhetoric. Vice President J.D. Vance had a tweet overnight. Western liberals imported the third world into France. They ignored fundamental questions of assimilation, incompatibility. They were told it would lead to this and they didn't listen. THEY'RE EATING THE CATS. THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS.
I'M SORRY, VANCE. ARE YOU seriously suggesting that immigrants have brought a culture of revolution and protest to France? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE THEATER? CAN YOU NOT HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? DO YOU KNOW WHY Versailles is a museum? It used to be someone's house. FULL PEOPLE with heads. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW FRENCH, real French, these protests were?
The latest demonstration saw protesters swarm Paris's historic Place de la Bastille. THEY STORMED THE BASTILLE! OTHER THAN ADULTERY, it's the most French thing you can do. It's like blaming immigrants in America for remembering THE ALAMO. RIOTS ARE just a part of the general ambiance of France. I mean, THIS COUPLE DIDN'T EVEN [__] GET UP. THEY'RE JUST SITTING THERE. finishing their dessert cigarette. This lady here, she doesn't even let it GET IN THE WAY OF HER CARDIO.
You She could HAVE MADE IT A PELOTON DAY INSIDE. NO, she's just outside jogging around that. I'm sure there were foreigners in the protest. Mostly they're just looking for their Airbnb. Which is not to say that the riots were not a terribly serious issue or that France is not on the verge of dissolution as it almost always is. But just as Napoleon rose from the ashes of the FRENCH REVOLUTION, SO NOW will Emmanuel Macron WILL TAKE CHARGE OF HIS COUNTRY FROM LE LOOM DE SITUATION. EMMANUEL Macron facing backlash for deciding to attend a Celine Dion concert with his wife on the eve of the protest. Okay, first of all, who goes to a concert with their actual wife? For a second you weren't sure. Is that too soon? Can we laugh at that?
And second of all, uh Celine Dion concert? Little on the metaphorical nose, yeah? Mr. President, as your country falls apart, you stand on the deck enjoying the dulcet tones of the theme song from Titanic. By the next night, Macron realized the seriousness as he gave a national address to the people of France. Oh my god, that's it. Is this dude still drunk? He's not even making sense. What was that? Was that like gibberish? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, DUDE. This is important. What's that?
Oh, they do? All of them? The whole country? And that all makes sense to each other. They can understand that. Huh? I mean, it's news to me. I mean, when I'm there, they speak perfectly good reluctant English. But I apologize, monsieur. Why are they protesting? These demonstrators express concern about the cost of living and fuel prices, which stem from the conflict that began in the Persian Gulf. Holy [__] In France, they've burned down an entire city because of a war they didn't start and aren't even any part of. And here, in the country that started the war, we're not even sure we're going to get to take back the house.
I mean, we're so mad about this war, we might vote. But at least now, YEAH. GET OUT OF THERE. OUR COUNTRY HAPPENS TO BE FLAME RETARDANT. No, that's how you don't I don't even need to apologize. I wouldn't Honestly, even I would cancel me for that one. But at least now we know that all of the world is upset over these high prices that have been caused by this Middle Eastern war. This isn't really a Middle Eastern problem. This is more of a Russia Oh. Wait, I'm Whoa. What? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mr. President. Are you Are you saying that these high prices are because of the war in Ukraine that
Russia started? Because I thought things like the diesel shortage were because of the war in the region where all the diesel comes from. I was I've been looking at this chart. I don't know if you see there. This is the uh the price of diesel. And I don't know there's like a less you see there. It's a very subtle. A little bit of an uptick um to the cost of diesel at the point where I can't really quite read it uh exactly when the Iran war started.
I'm not saying correlation is causation or that the war in Ukraine hasn't caused fluctuations in diesel prices. But the little bump here statisticians would refer to as the exact [__] day. So, but ceding the point, if it is the war in Russia and Ukraine, how do we fix that? Today, President Trump announced that he'd struck an energy ceasefire with Ukraine and Russia. Oh my god, that's actually Thank god. I'm sorry. I was going to make a joke. That's Thank god. Adhering to that energy ceasefire will certainly give world markets a chance to recover. I mean, you know what? I'm sorry, miss. I didn't let you finish
your sentence. Hours later, the Russians hit a neighborhood in the Ukrainian city of Kharkiv including a power plant. Well, luckily, just 1 month ago, Trump signed into law the Lindsey O. Graham. Ha! I don't want to tell you what the O STANDS FOR. OH! SANCTIONING SETTLE DOWN! NO. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M CANCELING YOU people for that. The Lindsey O. Graham Sanctioning Russia and Iran Act of 2026. It will penalize anyone who buys Russian oil.
The Senate sent a clear message to our adversaries. What we're doing here today is standing with a steel spine. We are standing against Putin's aggression. It will cut off the flow of cash that powers Putin's war machine. THAT WAS 1 MONTH AGO. TAKE THAT, VLADIMIR. PRESIDENT TRUMP, SMARTLY recognizing the role Putin's war has played in rising energy prices. Even though obviously from the math that I showed you earlier, it's really not about that. BUT STILL, NEVERTHELESS, WE WILL NOT WAVER. President Trump waived sanctions on Russian fuel sales.
Announcing a Russian diesel deal. would provide Putin an influx of billions of dollars to fund the Ukraine war. WE WILL NOT WAVER, but we will wave. Spelled diff- homonyms, damn it. Wait, if Russia's invasion of Ukraine is the cause of uh this, why are we making a deal to give Russia billions of dollars to use in that invasion? Perhaps Energy Secretary Christopher Wright can explain it. And if I may use a visual aid uh to help me with this explanation, uh just to show how many different I just wanted a physical demonstration of uh the many layers of stupidity that
must be behind this decision. If Russia can bring additional diesel to the market and export it, it would benefit American consumers. Right. Drive down energy prices for Americans. Oh. Oh, that's not stupid at all. This is going to lower fuel prices for Americans, will it? That immediate release of 300,000 tons of diesel would have a very little effect or impact on prices long-term. Oh god. So, why are we doing it? Oh, this is pressuring Russia. By giving them money? How is this punishing Russia? Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize.
It's kind of a more money, more problems situation. Russia does not have diesel to export. So, why are we giving them money for it? The only way they can get additional diesel to export is if they turn down the conflict with Ukraine. They have to either get an energy ceasefire, they have to either end the war, or they have to reduce their war efforts. This is a motivation for Russia to figure out how they can actually export some diesel. Why would we motivate a group to sell diesel when we just put sanctions on them for selling diesel?
Doing the opposite within a month is insane. It is illogical. It is incoherent. This is quite innovative, actually. DAMN YOU, ILLITERATION. I THINK I MIGHT have discovered the real reason. Oh. Look. It's actually Oh, THAT'S THE ONE. I'M SORRY. I FORGOT HOW MANY DOLLS I HAD TO OPEN TO GET TO THE people and then I realized that I'd gotten to the thing and then I had just had TO BE LIKE, "YEAH!" You know what? Forget Secretary Wright. President Trump, you explain your reasoning. President Trump explained his reasoning saying he does not want to do anything to drive Russia away from the bargaining table.
His price for staying at the table is billions of dollars? How big is Putin's [__] table? How Oh, actually, okay. I didn't I That's my bad. I did not realize. But all right. We're not helping Russia, we're helping Ukraine. In their logic, that makes me feel a lot better. I mean, the only thing that could obviously shake my confidence is if at the same time you announce this very strange deal where we give billions of dollars to Russia, there were other, let's call them coincidental, blows to the Ukraine war effort. Ukraine saying access to Elon Musk's Starlink system has suddenly been restricted limiting Ukraine's ability to fend off Russian attacks.
The Starlink was blocked of course by the SpaceX and of course by the United States. I said them of course can act and ask what's going on, maybe technical problems. I hear you, brother. Dealing with internet providers IS A NIGHTMARE. THE midterm elections are just 2 weeks away. That's two whole Katie Zacharias. And if you're behind in the polls, time is running out like in Ohio with Vivek Ramaswamy, Republican candidate for governor, and what happens when you don't bully those roller backpack kids? He's six points behind his opponent, Amy Acton, and he's hoping to close the gap with some family drama.
The Ramaswamy campaign, we believe, released a campaign ad featuring the estranged mother of Amy Acton, and it is it's shocking. It's not easy for a mother to say this, but Amy has a serious problem. She is a liar. She's lied her entire life. Don't vote for people who lie. Don't let her become your governor. God damn. I know politics is tough, but they got a mom to call her own daughter a liar? Woo. You better hope she doesn't win.
She's going to announce that she's canceling Medicare, but just for one person. Look, if I'm being honest, I wouldn't endorse my daughter, either. She's a huge liar. She told me this morning she's a princess unicorn, but that's obviously a paper towel tube, dumb ass. But, you know what? Seeing a family torn apart like this uh breaks my heart. Makes me want to call my own mom more. Hold on. Hey, Mom. It's Michael. If you ever cut a campaign ad against me, I will bury you. You hear me? No, I'll see you in hell.
Love you. Let's move on to one of the most watched midterm races in the country, and you all know what I'm talking about. All right, so let's say it all together. 1 2 3 Fayette County, Indiana City COUNCIL DISTRICT 4. NOW, IF YOU WEREN'T ALREADY FOLLOWING this race, one candidate just made it impossible to ignore. Jamie West, candidate for Fayette County Council in Indiana, has people scratching their heads after a bizarre rant during a local TV interview. Okay, well, of course Fox News would say that a Democrat gave a train wreck of an interview. I mean, how bad could it really be?
Would you like to share with us a little bit about yourself and read your opening statement? Okay, I didn't write one. So, I'm just going to not read it. Just say it out loud. Like from my heart. Okay. My name is Jamie Wize. I own a cleaning business called Queen Bee's Cleaning LLC. Yikes, I have never watched a clip then smelled gin before. Okay, so she's definitely drunk. But this is a press interview and I'm sure she's going to lock in. What is the one decision that I would make?
Hm. Repeat that again. Data centers. Want that water, man. Sheriff, nephew, threatened to blow my head off. But, you know, what are you going to do? We have guns, too. Stealing people's jobs. I mean, Uh. Yes. I don't care how drunk she is. There is no more perfect description of what it feels like to be in America right now than, I mean, Uh. LOOK, I'M GLAD SHE'S RUNNING FOR OFFICE because legally she can't drive for office. By the way, what kind of place is Fayette County that the sheriff's nephew is threatening to blow your head off and you're like, "Hey, man, what are you going to do?"
That's just life in Fayette County. But of course when you're drunk, it's easy to rant incoherently, but let's see what happens when she's asked a serious question. Would you recommend a local income tax increase to cover funding loss from SEA 1? Did they already do that though? They didn't do Did they full 3%? Because Union County didn't do They want the two.67% They didn't want to go to 3%. And that was last September. Uh man, this is the hardest trivia night I've ever been to. Although I'm still impressed that she knows some stats about a neighboring county's tax laws. I don't know, maybe we do let her drive. But let's move on to someone who is not
drunk, but somehow equally incoherent, the president of the United States, Donald Trump. As we all know, THE PROPHET FOR THE TRUTH. AS WE all know, he has a very important day job looking for things on the map to rename, but with the midterms in the home stretch, he's also been holding daily rallies in support of embattled Republican candidates. And lately, he's hit upon a very interesting observation about many of these men. Rick Jackson's a very handsome, distinguished, beautiful looking guy. I wish him didn't look that good. You know, he's a very handsome guy. I actually think Mike Allen is a good looking man. And he's all man. Look at that jawline. I'm telling you.
I never saw that. I don't do this with men very often. I started examining his body because I didn't know he was a great athlete. And I looked and I watched up and down. I looked at his ass and I looked at the whole Yes, you live your truth, Donald. Okay? It doesn't matter what anyone says. You find a man with a nice tight ass and take him dancing in your BIG GAY BALLROOM. AND MAGA, IF YOU'RE upset by this, you were the ones who love Trump cuz he says whatever he's thinking. But that's a double-edged sword cuz sometimes you get I hate immigrants, sometimes you get reincarnate me as a desk chair so this guy can sit on my face all day.
But if Donald Trump's not secretly gay, but what he definitely is an 80-year-old man. That's the age where the filter starts to slip and grandpa just says out loud anything that pops into his head. Like leaning over at the restaurant gone, "We have a very busty waitress today." Now, that last guy whose ass Trump was objectifying was John Houston. He's the incumbent Republican senator in Ohio. And apparently he made quite an impression because Trump was still thinking about that ass a few days later. I stood right over here and I examined his ass. I never did that with No, I never did that with a man before. I examined his ass and then I looked at his shoulders. I looked at his feet.
I looked at his hand. I looked at his jawline. Okay, so you examined his shoulders, his feet, and his jawline. Does Trump think John Houston is a horse? Um I fed him a carrot. I brushed his beautiful mane. By the way, huge ass. Hey. Nothing wrong with being an ass guy, okay? But Trump has now spent more time thinking about this guy's butt than how to end the Iran war. Mr. President, rub one out and get back to work. Let's start with J.D. Vance, vice president and charismatic sex god. He's You're thinking it. He's He's probably going to run for president in 2028, assuming AI doesn't kill us all next year, which is probably why he's been doing softball interviews that are
impossible to screw up, unless you're J.D. Vance. What are you good at in politics and what are you not good at? That's hard to politics. Oh, man. Um, that's that's a good question. I've never been asked that question. Um I don't know, man. I like uh I like getting out there and meeting people. Um, I really love being a senator because Sorry to interrupt, but tell me what you're good at. How is that a gotcha question?
J.D., name one thing you don't suck at. Uh CAN I PHONE A FRIEND? OH WAIT, I DON'T HAVE ANY. OKAY, forget whether or not J.D. is good at anything, because that [__] doesn't even matter. People will vote for you if you're confident, if you're chill. They said you were 99 to 100% chance of running. Okay. And that if you ran the president would withhold his endorsement for a long while to toy with you and to play the game. Well, I mean, 99 and 100 are very, very different things, by the way. Spoken like a graduate of Yale LAW SCHOOL. NO. WHAT ARE WE LAUGHING AT? I'M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.
He does have a sense of humor, though. In fact, I saw him tell a really funny joke this morning. The entire administration, we reject pay-for-play. We reject anybody getting enriched off of their connections TO THE GOVERNMENT. BUT MAYBE J.D.'S RIGHT. WHEN HAVE YOU seen allegations of corruption in the Trump administration? I mean, yeah, there was his ambassador to Greece and his crypto deals, his IRS slush fund, his son's wedding party, his son-in-law's real estate deals, but those were weeks ago. When have you ever seen corruption allegations this morning? A Venezuelan billionaire received a pardon from Trump weeks after his daughter hired former Trump lawyer Alina Habba for a $50 million job.
God damn, $50 million for one pardon? Inflation really is getting bad. But, it's easy to make anything sound bad when you don't have context. I'm sure the details of this transaction will exonerate everyone. Venezuelan billionaire Julio Herrera had already pled felony bribery charges down to a misdemeanor, but he felt that reduced charge was still a stain on his record. His family hired Habba to a $50 million job at a new company with no public profile. Weeks later, President Trump granted Herrera a full and unconditional pardon. Wow, what a way to get out of bribery by doing more bribery.
Not a lot of crimes you can do that for. Did he sit in jail like, "How can I jack off my way out of this?" But, why do you even want a pardon for a misdemeanor? What was this billionaire trying to get a job at Foot Locker? I mean Let's move on to Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Just the Tip. Earlier this month, he had a surprise announcement for how the military was going to execute Fort Hood mass shooter Nidal Hasan. Pete Hegseth announced the execution by firing squad would be livestreamed. And we'll make sure that people are able to watch it, that it's public uh because people need to understand that what this is a there's serious consequences for these types of things.
Okay, I think we already know murder is bad. America has had a lot of mass shooters, and none of them were ever like, "Oh, the society frowned on this? My bad." But, okay, if you want to do a public execution, I guess go for it. I'm sure your MAGA bros are going to be pumped to watch. Hegseth's plan to livestream the execution faced bipartisan opposition. The concern would be that you would create a video that they wouldn't be a recruiting tool for future terrorists. I wouldn't be watching it if it was aired. And skepticism from within the Trump administration. I don't know that's actually going to happen. If it's ultimately livestreamed, I'm not going to be watching it.
Wow, what a stance, JD. It feels like he's not even that disgusted that it's a public execution. He's more like mildly annoyed that he might need to subscribe to a new streaming app. Okay, what's this going to be on? Peacock? Yeah, I'm not watching that. It's not just Mike and JD who have issues with this. 80% of Americans oppose this. I mean, these guys are so inept, they find a way to make shooting a terrorist unpopular. But you know what? Hegseth doesn't give a [__] about you libtards who are too squeamish to watch a man get shot to death on the Paramount Plus bundle with Showtime.
Hegseth doesn't need your approval. He just needs the okay from the big dog. President Trump overruling his defense secretary today, halting plans by Pete Hegseth to livestream the execution of convicted US soldier Nidal Hasan. No, big dog. How could you do this to Pete Hegseth? You already sent out the paperless post. And this is Pete Hegseth's worst nightmare come true. He has to take orders from a fat person. So, what happened? While the president initially liked the idea to stream his execution, I approve. Absolutely. he decided against it after learning more about the case. Okay, first of all, yes, that is Mike Tyson standing next to Trump in this clip, and no, we don't need to know why.
There's too much going on, okay? There's a lot happening. But okay, the president learned more about the situation and changed his mind. That's a good thing, right? Like the president probably realized that a televised firing squad would become a barbaric form of entertainment that, I don't know, symbolized the depravity of a decaying empire, you know, that sort of thing. Hassan was shot during the attack and paralyzed from the waist down. White House officials say President Trump did not know Hassan was in a wheelchair and that factored into the decision not to air the execution.
Okay, so just to get this straight, death by firing squad and live streaming it totally cool, but what Trump was not okay with is that the guy would be sitting down? In a weird way, isn't refusing to publicly execute a guy in a wheelchair kind of ableist? I just want to say to the wheelchair community, I believe that you can do the same stuff as everyone else. And that includes being murdered for our entertainment. So, all in all, this was an embarrassing episode for America, but it was especially for the guy who started the whole damn thing, Pete Hegseth. President Trump called off the live stream. What was your reaction to that?
Are you disappointed that there won't be a live stream? Well, I fully support the president's approach. Yeah, that's just what you want from a defense secretary, immediate surrender. I agree with the president's approach which is to do the opposite of my approach and what I'm saying is I suck. We are now just 12 days from the midterms, the day when almost half of America goes into the voting booth and Googles on their phone who to vote for. And with control of the Senate hanging in the balance, the debates are starting to get a little heated.
A fiery debate in Michigan in a race that could determine control of the Senate. Democrat Abdul El-Sayed facing off against former Republican Congressman Mike Rogers. Rogers, without providing evidence, attempting to link El-Sayed to Islamic extremists. Are you for America or are you for these uh terrorist groups overseas? It's a brilliant move. You got me. I am a terrorist. I wasn't going to admit it unless someone asked me. For I am the one terrorist who also cannot tell a lie. I'm the George Washington of Al-Qaeda.
Now, it's no surprise that Michigan is a hot race. It's a classic purple state. I mean, the last two senators were Prince and Grimace. But what is surprising is where else the race is tight. The Republican Party, hemmed by Donald Trump, is so unpopular that Democrats are now competitive in places once deemed unthinkable, like in South Carolina, and Iowa, and Alaska, and even deep red Mississippi. A top super PAC spending over a million dollars to help District Attorney Scott Colom beat Republican Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith. Holy [__] Mississippi is close?
Mississippi? Where the state bird is a rifle? Like, how close are we talking? Like, one point, two points? The Cook Political Report just moved the race from solid Republican to likely Republican. Okay, so Mississippi has gone from red to burgundy red. This changes everything. If you're surprised that a Democrat has momentum in Mississippi, you're not the only one. So, this moment that you're running in, are you surprised that you're still I mean, you could win this thing. I mean, it's stunning. The idea that Mississippi would vote for you. Why'd you say it like that?
It's kind of rude. I mean, this guy was like, "Some people actually like you." But hey, some people also like having someone [__] on their chest, so lots of freaks out here. Look, clearly this is just Democrats living in a fantasy world where the blue wave is so big that they have a chance of taking Mississippi. It's It's not like Donald Trump is going to waste time campaigning there. President Donald Trump is coming to Mississippi to campaign for US Senator Cindy Hyde Smith. Holy [__] Either Donald Trump is campaigning there because this race is actually getting tight, or he's going to Mississippi because
What's a single other reason someone would voluntarily go to Mississippi? No, holy [__] this race might actually be getting tight. But you know what? If it is getting tight, there's no one else better to bring it home than Donald Trump. I know the haters are saying he's lost his fastball and his curveball and his slowball and really all of the balls, but just watch how the big dog rallied the crowd last night in South Carolina. I'm calling Trump, telling him why the Republicans have earned their vote. Recently, I changed the name of a lake. Okay. That's That's cool, but it's not just the changing of lakes, right? You got more than that. So, we have a lake and we have a gulf.
Now, we need a river and we need it Oh, so I was thinking of the Hudson River, but then and I thought of the Mississippi and I said, "They'll never I'll never do that to Mississippi." I don't think that's So, we're looking for a river, but it's not going to be outstanding. And then an ocean The only oceans I would I only like two oceans, the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean. I'm "I'm not going to put either Trump or America on any other ocean but these two." I mean, you got to think at least one person in the audience is like, "Uh hey, y'all. Y'all I can't afford food." You going to get to that or just more water stuff?
Look, I wouldn't spend quite so much time renaming undrinkable water when the economy's collapsing and gas station signs just say [__] you right now. But you know what? I will say this, at least Trump didn't spend this rally rating men's bodies. This time around, he was more romantic. And then you have a certain senator that I happen to, as much as I can fall in love with a man, which isn't that much, I fall in love with him and his name happens to be Tim Scott. Trump fell in love with Tim Scott? It's like when a frog becomes friends with a turtle, but gay. But I don't know, if I was Tim Scott, I'd be slightly offended by this, cuz Trump has spent all week lusting after every other male senator. I mean, this
guy has a great ass and this guy is super handsome. And when it comes to Tim Scott, he's like, "This guy has a good personality." Still though, Trump is doing this at every rally now. If Trump gets any gayer, I mean, the liberals on MS Now are going to have to start coming out against homosexuality. But let's move on, because there's a even tighter race in Maine, the top travel destination for suicidal lobsters. That's where Republican Senator Susan Collins could lose her seat to her opponent Troy Jackson, unless she can bring up some weird fact about him.
Well, I'm not going to bring up the fact that um the [__] the mother of his two children is his second cousin. I don't know whether people know that or not. Smooth. Just look. Look, I would never stoop so low to call this cousin [__] a cousin [__] just because he [__] his cousin. Uh if you don't know what she's talking about, first of all, congrats on having a life. But basically, the Democratic nominee, Troy Jackson, did have two kids with his second cousin. What makes it worse is they aren't even married. I mean, come
on, Troy. At least make an honest cousin of her. But you heard Susan Collins. She's not going to make an issue out of this. Politicians have to stay above it. That's why they have shadowy super PACs to do their dirty work. This new ad running all over Maine targeting the guy who had kids with his cousin, Troy Jackson. Troy Jackson's a creeper. He has two kids with his cousin. IF HE'LL [__] HIS OWN FAMILY, he'll [__] yours, too. Shocking news out of Maine. Troy Jackson has been elected senator in Mississippi.
Wow. Um Look. By the way, that's a real ad. That's not us. And that was a hell of a banger. I don't know about the Senate race, but the race for best country incest record is over. I got to say, was American politics always this vulgar? Can you remember a time when things were more civilized and educated? I thought Abraham Lincoln was like, "A house divided cannot stand." Not let's [__] slavery in the ass.
