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How does it feel when you're winning and suddenly discover you have monsters? You know, when you say and use the word monsters, just to make it clear and so people can understand, of course, we're talking about, um, the different levels of yourself, right? And, um, within the levels that I've discovered in myself, uh, of myself, you know, you have your good versions and your bad versions. And I call the bad versions monsters, but just because they're bad doesn't mean they don't have good qualities. And when you're winning and succeeding, there's this idea that everything is fine. There is this idea that perfection has been achieved and that life from now on will be an easy path.
Um, and it's not until you're in that position where you expect perfection and think that, that you start to see the real problems and flaws really appear. And you know, my monsters have been, um, masked and disguised in various different ways, but I've been able to identify them over the years, um, because some of those monsters, uh, grew up, got stronger, developed. You're talking about the world of the ego, the idea of who you think you are versus what you are, or, um, the idea of expectations and needs about what you feel you need and what you ought to have. That's a monster that feeds that, right? That, that engine of good, now that I'm making money, this is what I should have. This is how it should look. That's how I'm supposed to
be. That's a monster you're feeding because, in the end, you're believing in something you're creating yourself. You are, you are improving this world of thoughts. And it's not until you sit down and take a breath and really start, you begin to decipher the true definition of happiness for you. You begin to really understand, uh, the adult you've become and the level of maturity that has now, I guess you could say, built up inside the human being you are. You've accumulated so much over the years, and finally, you're shaping and molding yourself into this focused individual that you're hopefully proud of when you look in the mirror at the end of the day. I had to start, I had to reach a
point where I looked in the mirror and felt proud of what I saw and was okay with myself when evaluating myself. It was okay, um, pointing out my flaws. It was good knowing what I do well and what I do badly. And at the end of the day, there are no consequences for always improving. There are no consequences to growing up. We are in a time where, uh, people almost look down on the world of growth. I accept it. I accept the world of correctness. So the monsters and how to tame them came from understanding the different levels of monsters that I encountered over the years and managing to bring them to a point where I could control them. They're still
there. They can stick their heads out, but I can tell them to sit down. That's not necessary. And I can tell when someone is trying to take me back to a place in the past But at 43, it's exciting to know that I've grown a lot and, you know, my world is significantly different than it used to be What is a difficult memory from your childhood that you believe has been the catalyst for so many things in your life? Is there anything you go back to and say, I can see how that and I had to turn it into something positive? I think the strongest memory for me is one of complacency. You know, as a kid, I wasn't really the kind of guy who embraced the world's challenges, was I? I was very accommodating.
It was okay to be a low-level or mediocre student, right? It was okay not to try. I was okay with not giving it my all. And I was more or less okay with getting my way, right? So my greatest memory of my childhood is when I reached those early teenage years, those 12, 13, 14 years old, being cunning and thinking that you were constantly outsmarting someone, that was what I accepted at the highest level. Do your homework. I already did it. Did you really do your homework? I did it. And you believed me without checking my homework. Oh, I did n't do it, but you think I did. I got my way Ultimately, you're slowly deceiving yourself over the
years, and it's not until you get a reality check about why that job was necessary that you realize you're simply not doing what you're supposed to be doing with your life, right? You're not there, you're not giving it your all . I had many different examples of that. I really did have a mother who made sure I had everything, and I didn't take advantage of or appreciate the great effort she made until I was older and had a real understanding. But, to be honest, I really let go of a lot of those things: extracurricular activities, swim teams, football teams, basketball teams, track and field, baseball. When you're a child, you don't understand that your parents do all these things to try to offer you a world of opportunities. They
're trying to keep you busy. They try to get you to adopt this idea of hard work, effort, activity, participation. They do all this for their children, or so they hope, don't they? To put their children in a position where they simply want to be, right? Wish for the best, compete, study, learn, and get excited about your future. That light bulb turned on late. Fortunately, when it turned on, it was at the right moment and I was able to identify many things that I couldn't before. And also fortunately, many of the lessons that my mom constantly instilled in me about not starting things you're not going
to finish, not giving up, striving to the fullest, doing things right or not doing them at all, you're not fooling anyone but yourself. All these things I heard over time, there was a moment when I was older when everything, everything, everything, made sense at the same time. But the real memory for me now, looking back, is that I'm glad to see that, to be aware of it, because not being aware of it is the greatest loss. To think that I took full advantage of everything, to think that I really made an effort or tried, to think that was 100%, that would be the real loss. So one of my best memories is knowing that at one point I was lazy. You know, I was the kind of guy who wanted to look like I was doing things, but I never
actually did them unless it was something I loved and was passionate about. And well, that was basketball, but my chances of achieving anything in it were very slim. But you know, to answer your question, it's a summary of those memories that I now look back on with appreciation, but which also act as fuel for the hard work and 100% that you see me putting into everything I do today. I mean, one of the reasons we postponed this show was that you recently lost your father. Mhm. And when I heard the news, obviously, you know, my love and condolences to your family, and I was watching what you were sharing and commenting on. And there was one thing you said that really stuck with me.
Hey, you said that my kids really think I'm the coolest dad on the planet. I know why I am the way I am. My dad has a lot to do with that. The mistakes my dad made, you know, the decision to use drugs, going in and out of jail, going in and out of their lives, I saw firsthand what his absence caused Now I know what it means to be present Mhm. I know what I can do. I know the effect it can have on your child as they grow up. But it sounded like, obviously, when you lost your father recently, it sounds like you had reconciled, like you had built some kind of connection.
You know, my dad and I weren't the closest, but we weren't distant either At the end of the day, I'm going to love my dad simply for being my dad. Now, my dad's life, you know, had several versions of drastic ups and downs, right? A small number of good moments, but many low ones. I could easily sit here and ridicule or judge my dad for the mistakes he made or for his past, but that doesn't do any good. I do n't like to focus on the problem. I focus on the solution. Yes. So in my relationship with my dad, it was always about finding solutions. It's like you can't go back and fix the years you were n't there. There's nothing we can do about that time. We can have a conversation about it. We can talk about it. And
when my dad and I talked, my main point was that you don't have to focus on what you can't change. The fact that you are here now and that you have made the decision to clean up your life, to change course. It 's never too late. My dad was, you know, over 50 at the time when he said I'm going to move on and figure it out, I'm going to close that door and work on this other door. This door here was, like I said, jail, drugs, coming in and out of his children's lives, to the point where, you know, there was a time when we didn't know where my dad was. And I ran into my dad on the train. I'll tell you the story. Um, I ran into my
dad on public transportation in Philadelphia. I hadn't seen him in years, and then I saw my dad by chance. And my dad was so embarrassed, that he got off the train and ran away. But it's like, that's where Wow. There was that world and that relationship. And what I do very well is that I don't hold grudges or complaints. It takes too long. It takes too much energy. Things will sort themselves out. It has never been any other way. It always resolved itself. So, my dad solved it, right? It's like they're my grandchildren. And our relationship improved when we accepted the opportunity to be a great grandfather. And watching him try to do that right was his way of saying: I wish I had done it right with you. Can't
. It's like I know what you're saying without you saying it. Sometimes you don't need words. Although some people do need them, sometimes your actions are a little better. And my dad's actions in trying his best to be an amazing grandfather made our father-son relationship much better. And you know, there was a lot of conflict between my brother and my dad. And to see how that healed over time and simply say, look, I shouldn't be here. Dad, look what your son has done. Look where I am. Since I can, I want to make sure you see great things in life here. Let's do this, let's take that, let's live like this and let's do it. So things sorted themselves out.
His reward for dedicating his energy to something positive and life-changing was that his son succeeded and that his son said, "Dad, huh?" It's not what we expected. That wasn't the plan. You got a great ray of light at the end of that dark tunnel that you didn't expect, that I didn't expect because I didn't expect to be here. So everything sorts itself out. Yes. And you know, when I lost my dad, that's when you look back and say, hey, he was okay, right? My reflection, my conversation, my words when I speak on behalf of my father are so positive and great because he did well.
I'm fine. Mhm. I got out okay. Mom, Dad, you did well. However they did it to put any recipe in this pot, the food turned out well. I am a good person. I have a good heart. I treat people with respect. Ultimately, I want to get the most out of life. I love to love. I'm a good guy. Am I perfect? No. I have some of those imperfections over there. I have some that come from here, from mom and dad. Alright. Such is life. Of course. I'm going to solve it, but I'm solving it without wanting or needing a problem.
And with things that should be problems or were supposed to be problems, I've never held onto them long enough. And, by the way, going back to the starting point, that's a monster. That monster of resentment, that's a monster. Mhm. That thing about me getting revenge on you. I'm going to. Wait. You'll see. I'm going to hold on to that and I'm going to prove it to you, or I'm going to show you. Mhm. or I don't talk to anyone here. That's a monster. Mhm. So you can feel that monster, or that monster doesn't have to exist in me. And having this conversation, I can point to so many examples of how difficult it is to see the good if you only see the bad
. So many people struggle with their version of success because they are looking at someone else's. Mhm. So many people struggle in their relationships because they judge their own based on someone else's, right? And when you're constantly in a space of not realizing or noticing your world, your reality, because you live in what seems to be someone else's, well, things will never be right for you. Mhm. They'll never be okay, will they? It's as if he were looking at everyone's relationship with his father and thinking: I want that.
Yes. Well, I'm not embracing the world of good things I got from my dad. I could have followed the same path as my dad. I could easily have gotten involved in the same world of, you know, drugs, gangs, violence, assaults, right? How to embrace the neighborhood at the highest level. It's not that I don't do it, because I do. That's where I come from. But I could have embraced it on a much greater level and followed in my father's footsteps because that's what he did. Mhm, but I was able to notice the mistakes he made. I was able to say: I don't want to go down that street because I see the consequences it has. That's a choice I made. So, without it being an intentional lesson, my dad was teaching me lessons. Right
? It's not intentional. My dad never said, "I went to jail so you wouldn't have to." He never said that. But, hey man, seeing you in jail, dad. my wisdom, yes. Well, that just made me realize I don't want to go there. Yes. Listening to how you talk about it, listening to how many times you went. Mjm. Well, I don't want to go there. Seeing what drugs did to you and listening to you tell the stories, what you lost, what you had, what you don't have. Well, I don't want to do that.
Okay, you know what? I will accept my father. Mjm. I'm going to accept this imperfect human being because damn it, he's preparing me for personal success by simply understanding what I should and shouldn't do. Mjm. And it seems so logical. It seems like common sense, but sometimes it's not so easy for some people. It isn't. It 's not that easy. What changes had to occur for you to go from being complacent to being one of the hardest-working and most committed people to something?
I'm a big believer in logic, you know? And there was this moment I had where I just kept saying, "Why not?" Like, why? Right? And Russell Westbrook is a good friend of mine. I tease him all the time because the phrase he has, which I wish I had or wish I had said first, is "Why not?", right? And it's so great. It's so simple, yet so profound. You don't have to have just one job and work any job, whether it's 9 to 5, or half day, full day, whatever, you don't have to do just one thing. You can do many different things, but there's this strange mentality that many people have that you can only do one thing.
Mm. And when I realized that I don't have to do just one thing, I can do many different things. You can be good at many different things, Mm. But you don't know you're good at many different things unless you try many different things. And when I looked around and realized how the world works, it's all based on creativity. Mm. Everything is based on ideas. It's all based on opportunities that make you think and then mark a milestone. Mm. But even the simplest things arose from an idea. Mm. From your chair, your table, your wheel, your light bulb, your car, your plane, your helicopter, the idea of a hotel, from hotels to places where people rent
houses and Airbnbs, to taxis and then to people driving their own cars; These are all ideas. And the revolutionary idea I had when I realized all this is that these ideas have the potential to reach the sky if a person believes they can. Mm. If a person believes they can, well, your world of ideas changes. Your reason for getting up, your reason for putting your feet on the ground every morning, can change if you believe that the purpose you now have and are working towards, based on an idea, is something you can succeed at. Mm. I grasped that idea and applied it to everything I tried to do. I did n't set out to be an actor, director, writer, producer, CEO, president, or advisor. I did not set out to do any of those
things and I want to make it very clear that I do not have the academic training for any of them. What I had was the idea of trying it. Mm. And after having the idea to try it, what I had was the patience to sit and listen, to be like a sponge, to learn, to discover it. Mm. Upon discovering this, there was another aspect of not being satisfied with the incomplete version of understanding something I didn't do.
Mjm. Well, why did I ask all these questions if I'm not going to try it now that I know how? Yes. Okay, let me, let me try. The only consequence is failure. Mm. Incidentally, not trying is failing. Yes, well said. I want to make that very clear. Well said, yes. Not trying is failing. Mm. There are many things that people cannot do simply because they have never tried to do them. And I'm not saying you should try everything. I'm not saying you're supposed to do everything. I say that for me,
when someone says something and I reply, " No, I never did that," Mm. I need to have a reason why I never did it and a justification. If you ask me for something and I say no, and you simply ask why and I answer mm, that's not enough for me. Yes, yes. I like having a reason for being. And that's the foundation I rely on. This is how I built this mindset, this level of energy to keep going. Mm. I seek meaning and reason in my why. Mm. Why not? Yes. It's Russ again. I love you like crazy, brother. It's the one that got away from me And you're a genius for saying that, because it's so simple yet so profound. So everything I do or try to do
is because I started a lot and I'm just trying to finish it. Yes. And I like the fact that I'm 43 and I still have energy behind what I'm trying to do. Yes. It sounds like where you're going isn't as important as who you become along the way. Oh my God. Like the person you are evolving into, the things you need to learn, what should surround you. And I think that's the part that excites me. It's like, yeah, like you said, whether you get to wherever you need to get to or not And it's not just the journey and the destination, because I think that's an old cliché. But what I really hear from you is the person you become, the
people you surround yourself with to achieve that great goal that is so fulfilling, and that pursuit is worth it, isn't it? The quest is for happiness. It is everything. Yes. Jay, I've said this before and you'll hear a lot of people say it. Mm. that comes from where I come from, from the bottom or from what is considered the bottom. Stereotypically, we're not supposed to be in the places we are. Mm. And when we say that, there's a level of comfort, right? We're not supposed to be in these rooms. And it's a bit of a cliché when you say that. When you start
walking into these rooms, you think, wow, why aren't we supposed to be here? Right? It's so incredible when you get to the other side, you see the other side Mm. And you look back and just observe where you've grown up from. Mm. The conversations I can have, the knowledge I can speak with, and the understanding I possess are not because I am a trained machine or because I spent all this time preparing myself, and you know, this is, this is what the whole idea of education was based on. No. The idea of discovery strengthened the muscle that made me want much more information in the space of life that I chose to love.
Mm. So, in entertainment and business, the level of failures I've had, which I'm still having in some ways, the world of fixing, cleaning up, improving, understanding, growing, uh, building relationships, there's nothing more intriguing to me than being able to turn around and look at Kevin at 22 and then look at Kevin at 43. If you could narrow them down to one, two, or three for us, what would you say are the skills that you think: this is how I want my children to be able to navigate this world and this is what they need? The best skill I've developed is the ability to notice and understand that nothing is done by just one person.
No level of success is achieved by a single person, right? It seems like there's a team effort going on. Mm-hmm. that intervenes from the smallest to the greatest success. Yes. And the person who wants rewards and praise for everything, and who doesn't embrace the team world and the foundation that supports whatever that is, is a person who won't last long. Mm. What I appreciate most, and what I'm glad has improved over time, is the world of inclusion with the " us." There is no self. And I hope that's what I 'm passing on to my children: that, you know, nothing is given away, everything is earned.
Mm. And to win things properly, you know, you have to surround yourself with people you can not only win with, but also support and embrace along the way, right? I have an amazing team. I hope my team grows to be the stars of tomorrow. From executives to creatives, talent, writers, producers, directors, everyone under this Heartbeat umbrella, Heartbeat Ventures, the brands and brand partnerships, and the entertainment space and this ecosystem within the media that we have created. We prosper because they prosper. And knowing that, identifying it, and trying to do our best to support it, that's the main thing.
Mm. in which I have had to work. And when we talk about monsters, Jay, there was a, there was a monster of the self. Yes. There was a "I need to do it myself" feeling. Yes. I'll make the call. Me first, too. I have to, I am a, I am, no. Everyone get out of the way. Careful. I'm going to show everyone how it's done. I'll take the meeting. Listen, we won't listen to that. We'll do it my way There was this heavy burden of "me," "me," " me," "me," "me." Get out of the way, Kevin.
Get out of the way and let others be great. They'll only make this even better. You prevent it by trying to put yourself in the moment of greatness so that people look at you and point at you. Mm. Let others do what they were brought here to do. And while they do that, align yourself with them, embrace them, support them. I'm glad you went out there, mate. There could have been so many ways to answer that question. And the fact that you took it to something bigger than yourself, Mhm. I mean, that mentality-I talk to people in the entertainment industry too-
for years, especially if you were a minority or a person of color, they would pit you against the only other person of color. And it's as if there could only be one comedian of color. There can only be one actor of color, right? It's like everything is divided and then you're on top of this. I just talked about this. It was Oh, wow. It's, you know, Dave, Chris, myself, we're very close. Yes. And I love seeing that. That makes me happy. Yes. The reason we're so close is because, you know, there's no competition.
Mhm. We are not competing against each other. And, you know, we all have different levels of success that make sense to us, right? It's as if one success has nothing to do with the other. And the support, the love we give each other, the way we hug each other, is all done with the understanding that we can all exist at the same time. Yes. And the idea that "there can only be one" is something we've created as a culture. As you know, we really pit our own against our own, right? We really have done it over time. And, by the way, there's nothing wrong with competition. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be the best. There's nothing wrong with that conversation. But it's a conversation that can and should be had without bad intentions,
right? Because, in the end, success is success, and that's what you 're in the game for. Yes. To achieve some kind of success that meets your expectations. Yes. And, you know, once again, if you start looking across the street and see what others are doing there, you miss out on what you've done here. And I simply believe that it is something that has developed over time. It did n't start that way. To be completely transparent, I was definitely a young comedian who was like, "Wow, when's my turn going to come Yes.
I'm funny. I'm funnier than. I need. I don't understand. My God, nobody wants to. You just go through it. Mhm. And with good reason. There is frustration at not knowing or understanding why my opportunity has not arrived or is not there. There's frustration in that. But there is also a sense of calm that comes from the confidence of knowing that you are working for a reason and that it will be worth it. Yes. And I had to make that change. Yes. I had to make the change to saying, " I'm doing the work." Do I show up every day and am I prepared? And if this opportunity arises, am I ready for it? Because there's nothing worse than arriving and not
having a routine prepared. Mhm. I do n't have about 5 minutes well prepared. I don't have about 10 well-armed ones. I did n't have a 25-minute routine. My God, they wanted clean material. I had no clean materials. There's nothing worse than not being ready. My God. So you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to do the work and make sure I'm ready. Let me take these acting classes even before I get a role. I'm sitting in those damn acting classes. I'm spending what little money I have on private sessions because I didn't
feel comfortable in class. I had to find my comfort zone. I don't have any papers. I still had no hearing. I'm doing the work so that when I get there, I won't have to backtrack to do it. And you're watching people make mistakes, recover from them, not recover from them, turn right instead of left, left instead of right. And when we see that, we choose to ignore it as if it weren't real life. Yes, yes, yes. We chose to ignore it. Because it feels like it's on TV. And the biggest drug, the biggest drug, is not cocaine, it's not heroin, it's not Molly or opioids, the biggest drug is fame. And now it's more accessible in different doses.
It is, it is the biggest drug. And the reason it's the greatest drug is because it's a drug that makes you feel powerful and that wherever you go, whatever you want, everything you want, is a given. And if you can't handle this fact, the consequences linked to when that fact disappears are severe. Nobody prepares you for the world of fame. Mm. There is no manual. There is no set pattern. There is no step-by-step guide. There is nothing between step one and ten. You get it, and yesterday you weren't, and today you are Mm. And tomorrow you won't be anymore. Well, no, we're done. People are left in a state of shock.
Mm. That, for me, has always been the point of no return. Yes. At the end of the day, this can disappear if someone decides it should, and if that happens, well, what am I then? Where am I? It all comes down to whether you're happy with who you are and what you've done. Are you at a point where you're okay? Mm. Do you know yourself and are you okay with yourself? If you're not, it will destroy you. Well, when I listened to your audiobook, which I felt was a very intimate version of you as a human being, not as an artist, I can honestly say that I walked away from it saying to my friends and the people I talk to, "
You know what, Kevin didn't have to do that's how I felt when I heard you. I thought: Kevin didn't have to do that. He 's successful, he's winning, he's great at what he does. He did n't have to create anything to talk about his flaws. You simply didn't have to do that. And for me, that's why I respect and admire you. Because when I heard that, I thought, "Well, if it makes him happy to go there and talk about how these monsters never die, and it makes him happy to talk about how he still deals with them, then I think it's one of your most significant works." At least in the work I do, of course, and I don't want to feed your approval monster either; But you know, I really feel that way.
There's a point you reach in life, right? Where you start, you start to, like, what did I do? Yes. Like, what did I do? Right? Like, what is it? And it doesn't mean that you've healed the world or that you've, you know, changed the world, created this, you have something like that, I'm not saying it because of those answers, but for you, like the question of, what did I do? And I'm at a point where, well, beyond success and fame, it was like, what do I want? What am I doing? Right? And the information that I now have the opportunity to give, like the information Mhm. If it's nothing more than information. If you really want to have an impact and want to try to position yourself to help create opportunities for
change, uh, financial education in the black community, not understanding banking, without having experienced it. My alignment with Chase and well, JP Morgan, my, but my why, there is a why attached to it. Okay, this is the reason. I have, I have something bigger. Mhm. that my fame and my success. Okay, this is a passion. Yes, and something we're trying to correct. Okay, in the realm of inspiration and motivation, there's a passion attached to my attempt to simply inspire and motivate those who just don't receive motivational messages on a daily basis, because some households simply don't Yes.
Some may not have the homes that do. I didn't grow up with mom and dad having dinner every night, you know, the family prayer at the table. I didn't have that. That's not my life. There are other people who do have it. There are some people who only live with their mom, only with their dad. Some people have no one. Whatever that is, you don't know who is resorting to what to try to get where they want to go. How, we have no idea. So if I can now act as an aid that only offers you verbal warfare linked to truth and authenticity If I'm giving you anecdotes and gems that are linked to a real-life concept. In other words, this isn't, it hasn't been invented.
Mjm. I 'm giving you simple information based on me and my battles. I just told you there's no manual for fame. Mjm. Even so, I am giving you, in some way, form, or style- yes- something that can be disguised as an example of how I had to handle, adjust, and deal with things. Mjm. I have the opportunity to have a high season and a low season. Yes. My peak season is movies, maybe a stand-up comedy tour, maybe not. In my off-season I can go and I can be a speaker at. I can talk to companies about it. I can go to these conventions and give X, Y, and Z that simply serve to amplify, motivate, and inspire.
Whatever those things are, once again, I'm creating another door. Mjm. linked to a piece of passion that I discovered. I discovered this. I didn't set out to do it. I discovered it. If I can embody and integrate the space of trust for others, to make people understand how great it is to simply believe that you can do anything you set your mind to. If I can help and just give you that push, I've done my part. Mjm. Self-confidence and conviction. This is how dreams come true. Self-confidence and conviction. This is how you set your goals. That's how you march towards any version of success you have. With a touch of that humility. That's all. We
asked each guest this: if you could create one law that everyone had to follow, what would it be? Practice what you preach. Mm, that's a great law. Very simple. Yes. Practice what you preach. TRUE? It's easy, it's easy to have words. It's easy to say. It's more difficult to do. Yes. I would love to see a world with more doers than sayers. If this clip provided you with value and you'd like to see more, this next video has been specially chosen for you based on your viewing habits. I hope you enjoy it, and
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