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oh my God hello James that what are you doing here I'm watching you sleep it's 3:00 in the morning yeah but I need to talk to you about what well about you leaving we're here to tell you can't just leave a talk show we James hosting a network late night talk show makes you part of a very exclusive club and if we're going to let you leave we need to know you'll keep our sacred Secrets also I hope you don't mind I borrowed your mouth guard hold on what are you talking about what secrets you know how we don't watch every episode of TV or movie that our guests are on to promote you're telling me I didn't need to watch all four seasons of Mozart in the jungle of course you didn't have to watch that
Mozart was never even in the jungle damn it I missed my sister's wedding for that what else the fake laugh we all have for when a guest tells a story that isn't funny St you're not going anywhere are you no of course not I live here will you stick around we'll be right back with more James Cardon everybody look guys I appreciate you all feeling passionate enough to break into my home but I promise not to reveal any of our secrets look now can you please leave James have you thought this through me what other job will allow you to break into song and dance every single night I don't sing and dance every night you do it's been a lot like a lot that's no I did nearly 2 years without singing and dancing once yeah
but that was during Co and then as soon as Co was over you did a huge musical number with Ariana Grande about how Co was over for more on this it's time for a closer look lock any and after that there was immediately another lockdown okay fine I get it I sing and I dance too much but look I've thought long and hard about this it's maybe the hardest decision of my life but I am leaving in that case we're going to have to lay out the terms of your official exit what I had to go first things first you can't look like you're enjoying retirement too much you're going to grow a beard a huge one that says God spoke to me from a bush uh you know uh God did speak to me and he told me I don't need to be in this bit and don't get any big idea stick to
corporate gigs podcasts maybe the mass singer come on this doesn't feel fair you know when I first moved here to America to take over this show all I would hear was talk of the late night Wars but then I came to realize we're not at War we're a family we've been through so much together when you think about it we're just some funny boys who like to spread some Joy you stop we just talked about this you're embarrassing your country okay sorry it's fine it's just time to talk about splitting up your ideas splitting up my ideas yes you're leaving your show we figure out who gets what okay what does everybody want carpool karaoke what that's it nothing I do have other bits do you hear that yes really what
what about Emoji news what's that you know we take a news headline we turn that headline into emojis the audience has to guess what I mean now I'm saying out loud it doesn't sound like the best idea but look I'm sorry you can't have any of my ideas I'm not growing a beard I'm not doing any of this well all right well in that case you leave us no choice we don't want to do this but we're going to have to revoke your invitation to the Met Gala what no not Fashion's biggest night please no anything but the me please don't do this to me no every year a different theme no the glit the Glamour the sheer decadence of it all no oh thank God it was just a dream take it who is it take
