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Welcome to El Totumo Volcano. Do you like it? I mean, um, is this really a volc- is it a volcano, is it? Yes, one of the tiniest one in Colombia. And how long has it been here for? Almost 3,000 years. 3,000 years? Yeah, since like we have the planet. It's pretty old. Since we have the planet? Are you under the impression that the planet is 3,000 years old? no. Just in Colombia. Just in Colombia? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I think that needs a fact check. It essentially looks like an anthill that got out of control. people in here believe that this they say that it's uh used to spit fire and everything, but it's a priest says that
it was like a devil thing and he just put uh holy water in the volcano and that's like the popular belief. That's the popular belief? Yeah. What's the unpopular belief? And we are here, Ramesh Rangnathan. You can absolutely eat if you think I'm getting in there. No, you're going to. Hazel told me that this volcano apparently has healing properties and that one quick dip would dramatically improve my complexion.
I was skeptical as to the benefits of bathing in a giant vat of dead skin. Right, let's go, Hazel. Stop about. But after much debate, I agreed to take the plunge. Hazel, come on. Get in the volcano. I hate you. OH! OH, MAN. OH MY GOD. LIKE IT feels like THE BLACK SEA.
THAT WAS SO GRACEFUL. YOU KNOW THAT. Why did you do that? I don't want to Like a Shrek. Like a prick. No, Shrek. Shrek? Yeah. Right. Ron, can you just put your head under again, mate? I'll be honest with you, mate. My ears are completely filled with mud. I can't hear anything you're saying. Can you just put your head under again, mate? Huh? Can you just put your head under, mate? Huh? One more time. I'm getting mate.
I'm literally up there. I've got volcano in my ears. Okay, don't worry. Just get out. Oh, this one's come back. What did you say? No, we have to go. GET OUT OF MY SWAMP. JUST GET OUT OF THE GET OUT OF THERE. This is absolute No, this is great. No, honestly, it's great. It's a great idea and it's not annoying to get the mud off or anything. No, Ron, there's showers. Don't worry about that, mate. I mean For the benefit of those who can't tell, I'm currently getting my junk rinsed.
Would you recommend the volcano experience to your friends? Would I recommend it? Yeah. It's difficult now because I'm torn between the fact that I think you've done a wonderful job on this trip. I'm torn between that and the fact that I think that volcano was a load of But didn't you have fun? Did you have fun. I laughed a lot. Yeah, I Yeah, I had fun because I'm with you, right? And we had a nice time. But you don't have to get into a fake volcano to do that.
We could have just gone to a cafe. No, that wouldn't be that fun. Did she help you clean your bum? Yes, she put her hand in between my cheeks. No! She did. There should be some sort of licensing. Otherwise, anybody can go in the lake with a bowl and just fondle people. There was no sign or anything.
