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The most harmful word in English is "I am." This is because the words that follow "I am" make your mind expect you to become a certain kind of person Now, this video is a story about why we can't put into practice what we know we should do . I wanted to talk to bestselling author Nir Eyal because it is a problem we all face We basically know what to do. The problem is that something is lacking, so it cannot be put into practice Nir Eyal previously wrote an excellent book called "Indistractable," and I personally think this book was very helpful in overcoming my habit of procrastination not enough to simply know what to do and why to do it. Practical ability is also required.
And a few months ago I read his latest work, "Beyond Belief," and it was really good. What about Imposter Syndrome? Many people feel that they are suffering from fake syndrome. Because of the word "syndrome," it sounds like a real disease. It is a belief that completely limits oneself So I decided to invite him to Hong Kong to meet him in person and talk Basically, based on the research he has conducted while writing books for over five years , it was an opportunity to find an answer to the question of why we do? Even though we have all the necessary information, know the precise framework and every step, and understand the benefits we hope to gain from executing those steps, why do we not do it
? This book is a story about how we can change the way we see, feel, and ultimately act by utilizing the beliefs that influence our behavior. We have all probably had many experiences like this in our lives . I mean cases where you start something with good intentions but eventually give up. We might However, Nir argues that there is a deeper reason behind it, and that is our faith I have worked as a professional dieter for the past 30 years, and my diet has gone up and down like a roller coaster for those 30 years. And what I discovered was that every diet is effective for a while, but there comes a moment when that effect wears off And the reason it stopped working was always
because I lost faith in that diet. At first, I tried a low-fat diet, and then I became a vegetarian. After that, I followed the keto diet and intermittent fasting. It all worked for a while, but at some point, doubt would seep into my mind . Someone said, "The keto diet is bad for the kidneys. Vegetarians don't get enough nutrients." He used to say that. For whatever reason. And as soon as my faith in that diet wavered, I immediately gave up and quit. Ah, the diet is n't working. He said that . Actually, it's not that the diet itself was ineffective. My behavior changed once I stopped believing in that plan and method. I succumbed to the so-called 'whatever' mentality.
"Dieting isn't working anyway. Let's just have a slice of pizza and some french fries." That is what I thought. What I lacked was conviction. Ultimately, what I realized is that achieving long-term goals, such as weight loss, financial freedom, and better relationships with loved ones, does not require just one perfect method. That was exactly what I had been searching for all along believed that was the ultimate method. In fact, the key point is that we already know almost everything we need to do. The problem is how to keep doing it consistently as time goes by
most important factor determining whether a goal is achieved is neither intelligence, nor the resources possessed or the skills acquired. The most important factor determining whether a goal is achieved is whether or not to give up. It's very basic, is n't it? If giving up is the biggest cause of failure, how can you consistently succeed? At this point, I thought, 'Understood, Nir.' That is correct. I agree that giving up inevitably leads to failure, but couldn't some problems be tactical or strategic rather than simply a matter of giving up? I thought so. Then Nir said this.
I have met many very successful people. I have interviewed billionaires, and I have also met penniless people. And it has been revealed that people who succeed in any field actually have more experience with failure. Successful people fail more often than unsuccessful people, and they have a longer history of failure. Successful people constantly try and try again. Eventually, they find a way. On the other hand, those who fail try once and then give up. As you may already know from the Creator Program, what are the decisive characteristics of successful people? It is not because they are smarter than others. I have met many successful people. They are definitely smart. However, they might not be the
smartest people in the world that I know. The biggest characteristic of successful people is persistence and tenacity. I do However, with persistent effort, you can overcome difficulties and find a way. If there is a way, I will definitely find it . Perseverance does not guarantee success; giving up guarantees failure. So, you must do your best not to give up too early. It doesn't mean there are never times when you have to give up. There are definitely times when you have to give up. We could talk about one of those criteria However, according to research results, too many of us give someone struggling to form a habit to "just do it." So the real question is,
among people in a similar situation, why does one person keep doing something consistently, while the other thinks it is meaningless and gives up? It is at this very point that the synchronous triangle appears. The motive triangle is a new explanation of how motives work. Most people, including myself, used to think that motivation was related to reward. Motivation, that is, profit, is important. For example, if you have a desire, such as wanting to earn more money, live a healthier and longer life, or find a spouse,. Therefore, knowing what to do and acting for that benefit. If it were that easy, we would all
have six-pack abs and be millionaires. This is because we basically know what to do. I do n't think that's the problem anymore. We all, and can ask ChatGPT or Google when we don't know what to do. We all know what to do. Information is overflowing. We live in a flood of information. The problem is that we do not put it into practice. This is because an important element is missing. It is not enough to simply know what to do and why to do it. Faith is also necessary. In other words, 'advantage' is the reason for doing the work, and 'action' is the act of doing the work. However, without the belief that binds these three together, you example, if I think that my boss does not consider my long-term interests
, I come to believe that I will not be able to receive a promotion or a raise, and as a result, I come to Then you won't work hard, and eventually you will quit. Conversely, if you lack confidence in your ability to take action, you will likewise fail to make consistent efforts. If you not believe that you can sustain those actions. Eventually, you will end up giving up in the long run So, even if you know what needs to be done, what actions to take, and why you want to do them , you need a faith that binds all of this together This is the core model of this episode. The point indicates why you want to do the work, and the action However, if the fundamental belief collapses, the entire motivation triangle collapses.
Now, shall we talk about the things we know we should do but don't? I have a thanks to Whisper Flow sponsoring this video, I can save a lot of time. Whisper Flow is an amazing speech-to-text conversion tool that I have been using almost non-stop for the past few months. Thanks to that, I was able to save dozens of hours. You can although my typing speed is quite fast, my speaking speed is much faster than my typing speed, so I am much more efficient at typing text on a computer. For example, you can write this to Owen, one of the team members. "Owen, I have three requests before Thursday.
First, Third, could you find a place for the team lunch next week? If it's near West Kowloon, it should be easy for everyone to get to." It only took 20 seconds to write this. This tool is already organized in a list format , and it also takes into account that I wrote Thursday instead of Wednesday by mistake. All the superfluous speech patterns like 'um' and 'ah' have disappeared, and the punctuation is also proper. " Why is a separate tool needed for something like this ?" You might be thinking that. My mobile phone and computer already have the Siri voice recognition feature built in, you know. Honestly speaking, do you
remember the last time you used the voice recognition feature built into your phone, and whether it worked properly? Okay, I'll give it a try right now Angus, can we have team lunch on Thursday? No, Friday. How about near West Kowloon this time ?" As you can see, you do n't understand what I'm trying to say at all. I am leaving the typos as they are. I don't even know what a Cow Rune is. It's a bit of an unfamiliar word, isn't it? However, the good thing about Whisper Flow is that it takes care of all these things automatically without me having to worry about it. Whisper Flow is available for free, but if you sign up through the link below, you can try the Whisper Flow Pro
version, which I personally purchased, for free for one month? Today, I will talk about 'faith'. At this point, it Then, what is actually happening? How do fundamental beliefs change our behavior? Think about a situation where you are told "You are bad at math" at school. Since I failed the exam, I guess I have no aptitude for math this year. People start to take those words to heart . One bad experience leads you to think, 'I have no talent for math.' So, what should you do when you face a similar difficulty next time? Since I have no aptitude for math, should I study as hard as people who think they are good at it? No, they'll probably
give up early. They probably wo n't try hard. You end up thinking that. And in fact, that belief becomes reality. This phenomenon can be proven in a very interesting way. Everyone, how much time do you spend talking about longevity and health? We talk about proper eating habits, exercise, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. However, according to research results, our beliefs have a much greater impact on lifespan than quitting smoking, proper eating habits, or even exercise That's a really surprising fact. Seven and a half years-that not the case at all. The important thing is that our beliefs biologically influence our behavior. So, if someone thinks, "I must have lost my mind because I'm old,
" or "I'm too old to do things like this, what kind of behavior would they exhibit in their daily lives? Conversely, what about those who have a positive view of aging? For example, it is an idea like, 'Growth is possible regardless of age.' If someone believes that "growth is possible regardless of age," and another person thinks, "I must have lost my mind because I'm old," or "I'm too old to do things like this," how would their behavior change? Action becomes belief, and that belief leads to a biological response. This is because behavior changes. Rather than simply saying "Don't do this, don't do that," having positive beliefs makes you more likely to engage in behaviors that help extend your lifespan increases significantly. As I
said, faith is the source of action. Therefore, I think we must. Why do we say to ourselves, "I'm really forgetful right now" or "I'm too old to do this"? Why on earth would they say such a thing? Which one is correct? "I'm too old to do this," " I have a bad memory right now," and "Growth is possible regardless of age." Both are correct, aren't they? Both are potentially correct. However, people who rely more on negative beliefs and those who have positive beliefs will behave differently. There is an amazing study. I told a group of men that they would be participating in a steroid study. You said it was research on a new steroid pill. They actually given pills containing a placebo.
There were no steroids, but I only heard that they were steroids. People who were told they were taking steroids gained more muscle mass and became stronger than those who did not take placebo steroids. Even though both groups didn't take anything Both groups took a completely meaningless substance. Why did the group that took placebo steroids become stronger? It is because I went straight to the gym and worked out harder. I mustered a little more strength. This is neither a trick nor magic. This is an example showing how our beliefs lead to biological responses through behavior
leads to biological responses through behavior. There is an interesting scientific study from the 1950s that supports this fact. If someone were to conduct the same research today, they would not receive approval from the ethics committee. However, since it is a study from the 1950s, we can talk about it. So, from now on, I will give you a warning regarding sensitive content. If you are uncomfortable with animal abuse, you may skip to the next section One of my favorite studies is one conducted in the 1950s by a biologist named Kurt Richter. Richter conducted a very simple experiment. I wanted to find out how long a mouse can swim in water, it was a study that was somewhat ethically controversial
He put a few mice into a cylinder filled with water and, holding a stopwatch, measured the time it took for the mice to swim. The results showed that wild rats swim for about 15 minutes before interesting thing is that the mouse didn't die of exhaustion, but just gave up. Richter So he proceeded with the second experiment. In the second experiment, he used new mice. He put the rats in the same water container and made them swim for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, he reached in, took out the wild mouse, wiped it dry, let it breathe, and then put it back in the water. This time, I wanted to find out how long a mouse swims. After repeating this process a few times
, the rats stopped swimming for 15 minutes as they gained hope that they could be rescued if they held out without giving up. Can you guess how much longer I swam? Can you guess? Hmm, an hour? 2 hours? Most people say that. They say that maybe I swam twice as long, for 30 minutes or an hour, but that's really nonsense. Think about it. What if I could quadruple a mouse's persistence? What if you could quadruple the perseverance of everyone listening to your lecture? Wouldn't it be amazing if you could run a marathon four times longer? It will 60 minutes,
60 hours, for 60 minutes. So, what can we learn from this experiment? There were no changes in the mouse's body. It had the same mouse body, and it did It was the same tank, the same rats. The difference is that although we cannot ask the mice directly , their minds may have changed. In this experiment, it seems that as soon as the rats thought, "If I keep going, I might be able to survive," they suddenly started acting as if a switch had been flipped. The mice lesson we can learn here is when we give up during the 15 minutes. It is about distinguishing between the point where we think we have finished and the And we come to realize that giving up too early can actually be helpful to us. This study shows that how we
view challenges significantly influences how long we can endure, and that this support determines success important question here is, " Can I work 240 times harder?" It is not. The important question is, " When do I stop because I think I have reached my limit?" no see. The actual limit might be much further away than I think. When Neo says this, I ask, "Objection, Your Honor. What about burnout? Are you saying we just have to keep going? Doesn't burnout clearly exist?". asked back. We know that there is a formula for burnout It's a part that most people don't understand. People think that burnout is simply due to excessive work
, but that is not necessarily the only reason. There is a more complex reason than that. There are many people who think that burnout means doing hard work However, that is not necessarily the case. Did you know that there is actually a formula for burnout work together. This is the result of a study published a few years ago by the research team of Stansfield and Candy at Oxford University. They stated that the formula for burnout is a combination of two elements . It has nothing to do with whether or not you do hard work. When I first saw these research results, I also wondered, "Why do certain jobs cause burnout?
Why do they lead to anxiety or depression?" I thought so. It turned out that what mattered was not what you did, but the environment in which you did it. The cause of burnout is the result of a combination of two factors: high expectations and low control. High expectations and low control are the secrets to burnout. Interestingly, if you have high expectations and high control at the same time, there is no problem. We live up to expectations. However, problems arise when there is a lack of control despite having high expectations. Then, what does this mean? I don't mean to tell you to lower your expectations. That does not solve the problem. It means that you need to increase your control. We must
enhance our sense of self. It has been revealed that our beliefs determine what we believe we can do and what we believe we can control concept called 'locus of control'. Locus of control states that people have two perspectives on how they view the world. People with external locus of control believe that situations happen to them. Saying things like the economic situation is like that, or that AI is taking away jobs. A war taking place thousands of kilometers away, which has absolutely nothing to do with me, is On the other hand, there are also people who have an internal locus of control.
A person with an internal locus of control says, " No, I control my situation. I can control what happens to me." He says. It's not surprising, but it earn more money, have more friends, contribute more to their community, live longer, and experience fewer mental health problems. All these good things happen to people who have an internal locus of control. It is interesting, but not that surprising . What is surprising is that, despite having all the factual grounds to say, "I am oppressed. I am discriminated against. I am at the lowest socioeconomic level, " and despite having all the factual grounds to say, "External
circumstances dictate what happens to me, those who believe they possess an internal locus of control produce better results. In other words, even if it is true, believing that you have an internal locus of control will . To avoid burnout while accomplishing all these things, simply increasing our agency, or what we perceive as agency, can often reduce the risk of burnout. However, despite all the talk about the locus of internal control, it is a fact that there are clearly situations in life that cannot be controlled And this is precisely an important realization that most people do not understand. Faith is that it
different from the truth. I think this was a big breakthrough for me means objective truth. There is something that is true, whether you believe it or not. The world is closer to a sphere than to a flat one. Flat Earth believers, I'm sorry, but this is true. It doesn't matter how you believe it. On the other side, there is faith. Faith is a conviction that does not require evidence. God rewards the righteous. No matter how much evidence is presented, no one can say that it is not true, right? This is because it is a matter of faith, and that conviction cannot be changed. However, faith is different. Faith is neither fact nor belief
. Faith is a conviction that can be modified according to new evidence It is not something baseless or something that came into existence suddenly. It means a conviction that can be modified based on new evidence. In other words, faith is not the truth, but a tool. This is precisely the important realization. It is understanding that faith has a power like magic. It is science, not magic. It is not superstitious at all. Faith can literally change the world. You gain the ability to see, feel, and ultimately act-that is, agency. Therefore, if you have the right beliefs, thanks to that fundamental conviction-that is, belief-you Therefore, it is not necessary to prove that it is true based on that belief. You we have learned that belief is a
modifiable conviction and a tool. And often, new facts are not even required to accept a belief. You just have to choose to accept that belief Later in the episode, we plan to discuss the topic of whether this is gaslighting oneself, and Nir has a very good answer to this But before that, we have talked a lot so far about not giving up. However, clearly, giving up is sometimes a strategically useful decision. Now, let me give you an example. It presents a very simple yet very practical framework for when to give up. I am not against giving up itself. I, too, have given up all sorts of things throughout my life. I gave up on the book project, relationships, and business. I gave up a lot. I am not against giving up itself, but
against giving up too early. This is because it leads to regret in life. You end up regretting, "Ah, if only I had held on a little longer "Look, that person accomplished what I wanted to do. Do you know how many businesses I've shut down? And then seeing someone else succeed in those businesses drives me crazy. That's the absolute worst, isn't it? When you decide to quit a business, you only need to meet three criteria. The first is to quit when you achieve your goal. This is really important. It's not when you actually achieve it. That's too long. What matters is consistently putting in effort once you reach the point of achievement, and even beyond that point. The
point of achievement is the point where you decide in advance, 'I'm going to try this new behavior, this new belief, for a few days.'" "And I will never give up until I reach that goal date. Why is that so important? Nine out of ten times, the reason we fail to be consistent and give up is n't want to go to the gym today. You don't want to upload a YouTube video, and you set a milestone like, 'No matter what, I will keep going for a few days,' you won't give up too early." You can prevent it. This first criterion. The second criterion is, "Am I still learning?" That is the case. Just because you failed doesn't mean you necessarily have to give up. If you are learning even after failing, that is a good thing, isn't
it? For example, let me tell you, 'You will experience five more failures before achieving success on the sixth. If you make five more sales calls, you will definitely close a deal on the sixth. If you upload five more videos, the sixth one will be a huge hit and go viral. If you go on five more dates, you will meet your life partner on the sixth date.' What if you said that? How much more would you look forward to overcoming failure and reaching the sixth success Right? You would want to overcome failure quickly. If you are learning the cause of failure, do not give up. The third criterion is, 'Is persistence important?'
Persistence may not be important in many aspects of life. For example, imagine you are working at a company with a toxic culture. I mean, the kind of company where people are n't happy working, tear each other down, can't sleep on Sunday nights , and dread going to work on Monday mornings. That kind of company culture wo n't change easily. It is highly likely that they will remain even after you leave the company In such a situation, persistence may not be important . However, consider other areas of life, for example, exercise When I tried to lose weight, back when I was chronically obese, I often hit a plateau where my weight did not decrease for months, or even years
realized that perseverance is important in physical exercise. You can overcome a plateau with consistent effort. You probably already know this when creating content, right? No, no, no. oh my god. Then, there are cases where something suddenly goes viral or spreads to a huge number of people. Perseverance bears fruit in some fields, but not in others. For example, a toxic work environment where you are working, where people lose motivation, and trying to change a work environment that does not suit you may be an environment where persistence does not work. Therefore, you can quit if all three criteria are met: 'the goal has been achieved,' 'there is nothing more to learn, ' and 'persistence does not work.'
However, even if you do not meet these three criteria, do not quit too early Must all three criteria be met, or is it sufficient to meet just one? I believe that all three criteria must be met This honest, and I am sure you are the same , we often give up even if all three of these conditions are not met. Now, shall we return to the story of faith? We discussed that belief is a tool, and that belief shapes behavior and influences biological changes . Neil's point seems to be that you can choose to change your beliefs about the world or yourself Then, how can we actually change it? You just need to discard beliefs that are not helpful to you and choose a better, more truthful belief
. You cannot create facts, but you can form beliefs depending on whether they are helpful to you. This is especially true in human relationships. The biggest change in my life is the way I view interactions with other people. I will show you myself. A few years ago, my mother celebrated her 74th birthday. I wanted to do something nice for my mother, so I was going to buy her flowers. The problem is that I was in Singapore and my mother was in Central Florida. So I had to call a flower shop on the other side of the world late into the night to check if the flowers would arrive on time and if they would be delivered in the shape I wanted. After doing that, as you go to bed, say to yourself, "You did well. Tomorrow, Mother will
tell you what a good son you are." That's what I said. However, that did not happen. The next morning, I called my mother and asked, "Happy birthday, Mom. How were the flowers I sent?" I asked. Then she said, "Thanks for sending the flowers, but they weren't very good. They were almost wilted. So don't ever order from that flower shop again." He said that. So I replied, "Then, I'll never buy you flowers again. " As expected, the reaction wasn't good. My wife Julie was sitting next to me, and after the conversation ended, she asked me, "Near, would you like to change this situation?" I asked. I said, " No, I don't want to do your magical, sentimental nonsense. I just
need to vent." That's what I said. "Right? That's what we're taught. That if someone hurts us, we should speak our feelings honestly. That we should n't bottle up our emotions. That we must express them. But I heard that research results show the exact opposite. What most people don't know is that. It's as if we are creating an illusion of them. This is because we don't see people as they truly are, but as we believe them to be. So, the first thing I did was write down the beliefs that were tormenting me. This is something anyone can do. Whether it's pain stemming from relationships with colleagues, a boss, or your mother, or anything else-it. Starting a YouTube channel, launching a business
, finishing a book you've always wanted to write, or. why are n't you exercising? Exercise that you know you can do but don't do for whatever reason. Write down the beliefs that hinder your happiness and cause you pain. The belief that tormented me was my mother." The problem was that it was too critical and picky. Now, in inquiry-based stress reduction, you must answer four questions. The first question is, 'Is that true?' is. The second question is, ' Is it absolutely true?' It is. It's similar to the first question, isn't it? It's slightly different. It's simply 'Is that true?' Not 'is it absolutely true?' It
means that there is absolutely no other possible reason other than the reason I believe it to be true. In fact, we must acknowledge that there might be other reasons. We cannot be 100% certain, nor can it be an absolute fact. Now, here is the third question. Who am I, and what emotions do I feel, when I hold onto that belief? When I believe my mother is too critical and demanding, I am a bit impatient and have a slightly mean side. It's just like me at age 13. It's not the version of myself I am proud of. Now, here is the fourth question What kind of person am I without that belief? How would I feel if I had a magic wand and that belief just vanished from my mind? And if I
ask myself this question, what would reality feel like if I did n't hold onto that belief? The difficult part here is that the brain dislikes these kinds of thoughts. The brain really hates changing thoughts. So when people hear about these four questions, they think, "Yeah, that might work for you, but it won't work for me." You don't understand my mom. You say you don't understand what I'm going through or my situation. But these things exist in my life, so what I think is true is the truth. " says." The reason such limited belief is dangerous is that one cannot see the very fact that one holds such a belief. It's just like a face, isn't it? We all have faces, but if I were to say, "Ali, look at your face".
cannot see your own face. You can see your hands and feet, but you cannot see your own face. Nevertheless, we all have a face. The only way to see your face is to look in a mirror. Just as a tool is needed to see one's own face, the same is true for our limited beliefs. We all have these limited beliefs. It does not matter how successful you are. I have spoken with billionaires, and I have spoken with penniless people. We all have limited faith. It is simply that you cannot see it within yourself. So, through these four questions, I find out in about 30 seconds that what I thought was true was not true. It is not like Newton's law that a mother is too critical and picky. It is just faith. It is just here. Now, let's try the so-called 'reverse thinking'.
This is what reverse thinking is. I asked myself, 'Could the exact opposite also be true?' It is asking. I am You aren't changing your mind. Nor are you trying to convince yourself of something that isn't true . You are simply trying to gather diverse perspectives What is the opposite of "My mom is too critical and picky"? "My mom is neither too critical nor picky." How could that be? Well, Mom did say thank you for the flowers. She was just pointing out that they weren't all that pretty. Maybe Mom wasn't trying to hurt me, but to help me. Maybe she was trying to prevent me from getting scammed at that flower shop. The third thought might be the opposite of saying, "My mom is too
critical and picky." It could be, " I am too critical and picky." How could that be? I thought that if I did something good for someone, I should receive plenty of praise. But when I didn't receive such praise from my mother, I got angry. Right? Then who was being critical? It was me. There is a fourth potential belief. It is the belief that I am too critical of myself and difficult to satisfy. How could that be? The factual belief turned out to be the most accurate. When I did good deeds and invested a lot of time, effort, and money, but things did n't go according to plan, I thought I was an inferior being and had done something wrong. So Which of them are true and which are false?
These are not facts, but beliefs. And the first of those beliefs presented the only way for me to become happy and stop suffering. It was that she had to change for me to escape my pain. But you have n't met my mother, and that won't happen. Right? And Generally, people don't change that way either. Sitting here and expecting them to change. will you finally be happy? It does n't work that way. If you hold your breath, you're going to suffocate. Now I had a different option. I didn't need to wait for her to change. I had three different beliefs that possessed the characteristics of liberating beliefs What are liberating beliefs, and how do they differ from restrictive beliefs? Liberating beliefs are beliefs that motivate and reduce pain.
Unlike restrictive beliefs, restrictive beliefs decrease motivation and increase pain. You still feel the signals and the pain, but you can separate pain from suffering. It is a very important concept in psychology, but it seems many people do not realize it . It means that pain and suffering are not the same thing. So, by choosing beliefs that help me rather than beliefs that harm me, everything opens up. Relationships, potential, and the way I view the world all change. It is not because the external environment had to change, but because I changed. I really like this method of transformation. The time I learned this method Well. I applying its principles intermittently to my life, and I think it has been incredibly helpful. However, the
key point here is that we are not trying to force ourselves to find a single correct answer. In my opinion, this is one of the laws of life that people realize at different ages: there is no such thing as absolute truth . Especially when it comes to the actions of others, there is Many of the interpretations, judgments, and narratives we make about our own actions and the actions of others are not facts. It is not a binary situation like 0 or 1. There are various perspectives we can choose from, and we simply unconsciously select a particular one. This is because the perspective we hold is fundamentally the sum total of the environment and society in which we grew up
. You can see this when visiting other countries regarded as the ultimate truth. However, if you look at collectivist Eastern cultures, individual freedom is not important at all. No. Rather, the benefit of the community is more important. Therefore, depending on the society in which one grew up, the same action can be interpreted completely differently. Anyone who has experienced both cultures will be However, in reality, it is merely an interpretation based on the society in which they grew up. In short, what is important here is to gather evidence that supports beliefs that help increase our autonomy and reduce suffering. So,
what should be done when the situation is truly unfavorable There is a limit to the degree of belief. For example, let's assume that structural problems dramatically reduce the possibility of me doing something, or that I cannot prevent it at all , or that I can prevent it at all probability of me winning an Olympic gold medal in swimming is very low Of course. And remember, belief is not making up facts. Facts cannot be made up. Facts are facts. Belief is a conviction that can be modified based on new evidence. So, belief It means considering the evidence when holding beliefs. It is not about creating something entirely fictional, but about basing them on evidence and modifying those beliefs. However, the most
critical factor here is that most of us do not base our beliefs on reality, but on our perception of reality because of these limiting beliefs. The small voice whispering in our heads: ' I can't do it. I'm not ready yet. There isn't enough time. I can't do it well enough.' The real problem is n't that the goal is too big. The real problem is the fact that we can accomplish far more than we imagine. Right? It is true that there were mice that gave up and died after 15 minutes, and the reason we do that is because our brain is trying to protect us. It is a kind of protective mechanism. We have evolved to stay far away from our actual limits. The brain works desperately to protect us from actual burnout and hitting our actual limits;
this is called the central regulator. The brain tries to keep us as far away as possible so that we do not experience actual burnout So why does the brain do that? Why do we hold beliefs that limit us? It is because the brain is not interested in us being happy, thriving, or reaching our full potential. The brain doesn't care about those things at all. Evolution has created a brain focused solely on making us survive. Reproduction. That is what evolution wants. That has nothing to do with you being happy, thriving, or reaching your full potential. Of course, our beliefs should be based on some evidence
, but most of us fail We do n't. Most of us do probably something fully achievable-even though it is actually a dream that can be accomplished- we give up before achieving it. What Nir is going to talk about here is that we give up when we start interpreting pain signals as suffering. Then, our brain makes us give up to protect us. Why do we give up? Right? Why? "I don't have time to write the second book." "Or" I don't have time to go to the gym. I do n't have time to start a family. I do n't have time to start a business. I ca n't do these things. " Shall I say that?" The reason we give up is
reason we give up. It's so hard. no. I feel bad. Pain, suffering, is like, 'Hey, you've reached your limit.' Step back. This could get dangerous. It seems like they are saying that. Again, the brain is brain tries to protect you. Therefore, pain is not suffering. No matter what happens, even if the signal of pain is always transmitted to our brain, we do not need to suffer from that pain. I have observed this fact very clearly among the students of the Lifestyle Business Academy, an online business school that I have been running for the past six months. It was the same a few years ago when I conducted offline classes at my YouTube Academy. However,
among our academy's students, One of the key differences is that successful students are better able to tolerate discomfort and are willing to endure it. On the other hand, other students feel pain and regard it as a sign that they should give up . Because. the brain The goals you are pursuing are probably focused more on prosperity than survival. Especially in such contexts, we are prone to misinterpreting signs of discomfort or pain as reasons to give up. The Most people believe that they must acquire the
appropriate market, technology, tools, or complete a program before starting a business. However, the most important life secret to success, not only in business but in any field, is to look at pain differently. Learn to savor the pain, enjoy the process, and prepare for it. And believe that the pain is not happening to you, but is happening for your sake If you find sales calls difficult, that's fine. You are becoming a better manager. If you can look at these experiences differently , you are less likely to give up more likely to persevere, and more likely to succeed. Remember the saying that people who succeed in the long run fail a lot but suffer less. That is the secret Even if someone else says something is hard, it can be
enjoyable for you. In the past, I used to think, "This is too hard, it's terrible, I need to rest." But now, I have a mantra I always repeat to myself: "I take a deep breath and say, 'This is exactly what it feels like to get better.'" "This is exactly what it feels like to get better," I repeat to myself. Another mantra is, "It's not that the situation gets easier, but that you get stronger." There will always be chaos, and we must enjoy it. Because that allows us to see chaos differently. It helps us think about it differently. When we enjoy it, "it will be okay." But I'm just getting stronger. When saying that. It motivates us and reduces pain However, things like these positive affirmations or mantras can
guarantees results simply by strongly visualizing them. But that is all we can control. yes. However, this is precisely why the Law of Attraction does not work The Law of Attraction, positive thinking, magical thinking-these are exactly the things I fight against in this book. I don't want to belong to that kind of group. This is because the Law of Attraction and positive thinking are actually harmful. Research results also demonstrate this, and this is not my personal opinion. The more you visualize the results, the lower the likelihood of achieving the goal becomes. The Law of Attraction and positive thinking are precisely about that. It is about achieving goals, vibrating more strongly, and becoming a better person. "You need to
be positive. You are n't positive enough. That's the problem. Focusing solely on results actually backfires. The key point is that the correct way to visualize is not to focus on the outcome. This is a good example of how the self-help industry distorts the truth. For instance, athletes visualize. But what do they visualize? They aren't visualizing gold medals or trophies. They are visualizing how they will physically and mentally react when they encounter an obstacle. We are the same . This is called ' mental preparation.' It involves contrasting the desired outcome with what you will actually do-that is, preparing for the obstacle. This is the correct method. It allows you to
build control and initiative over how you react to obstacles, rather than focusing on the result. The key is to psychologically prepare for what will happen when you know what needs to be done. If you feel like you don't want to do it." " What if it doesn't go well?" What if people don't like it? Do I really like this topic? I am overwhelmed by the same thoughts and anxiety, and shame is starting to wash over me. What will happen Useful visualization is not simply imagining yourself winning . Of course, you imagine winning, then imagine all the obstacles that lie ahead, and then imagine overcoming those obstacles. At that time, Nir suggested a live broadcast that would show me a kind of twist. The idea is to
explore my limited beliefs and see if I can change them into something more powerful. I'll tell you in advance, this might be a very trivial and happy worry. It might not be relevant to many people, but let's talk about it anyway I have had a really hard time making YouTube videos over the past few years. Especially on the day of filming, I would be overwhelmed by all sorts of worries and anxiety even before pressing the record button. However, I heard that Ali Abdal, who has a huge number of YouTube subscribers, also has the same limited beliefs as me. It's something we all feel, isn't it? Right? I think the thinking the exact same thing. It was really great that you confirmed many of the things we talked about
. You also confirmed that the reason I quit was simply because it was a milestone, didn't you? It was a learning process, and a field where consistent effort eventually bears fruit. And you mentioned that in the past, you had high expectations of yourself and . Just getting it done. yes So, the cause of this uncomfortable and confusing feeling you mentioned is precisely because you have high expectations but feel a lack of control. I think it is a perfect example showing why we keep clinging to old beliefs that crush our motivation I lost motivation when I believed my mother was too critical and picky. I am maintaining a good relationship with her. However, I did And thinking, 'I have to
make videos because of a set schedule,' might have Then, which one is the truth and which one is false? Faith is just a tool, not the truth. The carpenter said, "I used a hammer when I built the house before, so from now on I'm only going to use a hammer. I won't use a screwdriver or a saw; I'm only going to use a hammer." It's like saying that. That's a foolish thought. We have tools Discarding the belief that was helpful in the past, saying, "That's enough. It was a good tool, but it's no longer useful." You can say that. Such belief does not provide motivation and actually only increases the pain. And at a different stage of life, picking up a different tool and thinking, "Wow, this faith is much better." You could
say that. The problem is, if we pause for a moment to think, write things down, and ask ourselves, 'Would things be better if I looked at the world from this different perspective Unless you practice the simple exercise of asking yourself, 'Is this fundamentally necessary?', you will simply continue to repeat the same behaviors without stepping back to think, 'I need to fundamentally change this belief. However, all of these ultimately stem from belief. I hope you have gained something from this story. Even if the specific situation does not apply to you, you may have gained something that can be applied to your life If you found this story interesting, please let me
know in the comments what you personally felt. The important principle here is that our beliefs that have never helped us and will hinder us our entire lives. The reason we hold certain beliefs is. The belief that anger makes me a bad person. This kind of belief can be useful when you are young. However, if you grow up, form relationships, and start accumulating unexpressed emotions like resentment, this belief will eventually begin to ruin your life. It starts to interfere with what you truly want, that is, living a happy, peaceful, and satisfying life without suppressing your emotions. A belief that was useful at one time in life can be completely useless and even harmful at another.
Now, let's talk about the beliefs that are most difficult for us to notice. It is the think we are going down a very dangerous path where we fail to realize how the labels we attach to ourselves become our limitations. That does not mean the diagnosis is not helpful. It definitely helps. However, it seems that we completely misunderstand the diagnosis, especially when it comes to ADHD or depression Many symptoms, such as anxiety and insomnia, are Actually, I was diagnosed with ADHD . In my experience, the diagnosis was really helpful at first. It is because of the so-called Rumpelstiltskin effect. Giving names to problems and being able to clearly distinguish the issues that trouble us is a great help. I felt really
good. When I was diagnosed with ADHD, it felt like many things made sense. It was really satisfying. The problem is that immediately after receiving the diagnosis, it actually became a hindrance. this is a chronic condition, will it not get better What if I miss the deadline?" I used to think that. "Why am I the only one who has to suffer like this? Other people aren't like this." I had that thought. I got trapped in this cycle of thinking, so I ended up thinking only about the diagnosis rather than the problem I was trying to solve. The diagnosis can be helpful. However, a diagnosis is just like a map. Now, you are here, and the place you want to go is here. It tells you that. And a
thought I had become that map. It ended up becoming my identity. That's me. This is really dangerous. This is called 'identity closure'. When we believe ourselves to be a specific type of person, for example, "I'm not a morning person," " I have a bad memory so I can't remember things well," "I have a severe forgetfulness," or "I'm a Sagittarius." Like that. My state ends up becoming my identity. Then it completely blocks out other possibilities. And remember, faith is just a tool, not the truth. The most harmful word in English is "I am. " This is because the word that follows "I am" is exactly the kind of being your mind expects you to become So you must be very, very careful when attaching such labels
. This is because if you are not careful, such a label can become your limitation So now I have come to believe that "I am learning a new skill." In the past, I used to repeat to myself, "Chronic disease, chronic disease." It wasn't." It wasn't helpful at all . I am learning a new skill. Right? I learned time boxing. I wrote a book called "Concentration Improvement" for myself. I had to become someone who does not lose focus on themselves. And it turned out that it was something that could be learned There was a time when I felt I couldn't overcome it, right? It was a time when I believed that I could not overcome it immediately. I mean when I thought, "Because my prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped Then I
fell into a vicious cycle of anxiety, becoming more easily distracted and giving up too quickly. Now I have a reason to give up too early. Right? On the other hand, this is technology What about fake syndrome? I think many people suffer from fake syndrome. Why is that? It is a completely self-limiting belief. It is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), nor is it a psychological diagnosis. Because of the word 'syndrome,' it sounds like a real disease, but in fact, it is
just a self-limiting belief. Come to think of it, it is a self-limiting belief because it fits that definition perfectly. It clearly increases our suffering. Ah, poor me, I have fake syndrome. It's like perfectionism. It is a completely self-limiting belief, and I don't think such a belief helps people. I think fake syndrome is a classic example where a self-imposed label becomes one's own limitation Because it means you wo n't even make an effort. This is just how I am. That is what you end up saying. So I think that self-limiting beliefs are not helpful at all Throughout this video, we have been talking about the topic that faith is very powerful
. We also talked about the motivation triangle. Action is the reason for doing something, the actual act performed, and the belief that forms the basis of that action. If you have strong faith, you increases the likelihood of success. On the other hand, if you have beliefs such as 'This won't work, ' 'I'm terrible,' ' This is the worst,' or 'This will be terrible forever,' those beliefs will undermine your motivation and will, causing you to give up too quickly. The argument in Nir's book is that faith is a powerful tool, and most importantly, we have the power to change and actively shape our own beliefs. Finally, the question I want to raise with Nir is whether
all of this is just self-gaslighting. Isn't telling yourself that what you believe isn't true just gaslighting yourself When I raised this counterargument, Nir replied as follows. What we fail to realize is that we are already gaslighting ourselves We are already lying to ourselves. We are simply choosing beliefs that may have helped in the past but might. Our limiting beliefs originate somewhere- specifically, from our 'a priori experiences.' Past upbringing, past experiences, and everything that happened in the past influence how we view the future. Therefore, we are already gaslighting ourselves. When we tell ourselves, "I can't do it," " It's a fake syndrome," "I'm a perfectionist," "I'm not ready," "I'm
not doing well enough," or "It's too hard," those are not facts. They are not facts; they are merely beliefs. So, we are gaslighting ourselves. This is trapped in a cage we made ourselves. I really like this feeling . It feels like we are already gaslighting ourselves, whether we realize it or not We are already choosing to believe in things that ruin our lives. So, if you're going to gaslight yourself anyway, wouldn't it be better to gaslight you to ? In the end, all of this comes back to the original question. Why do we not do what we are supposed to do, even though we know it?
Why is it that while some people know what needs to be done, put it into practice, and continue, we know what needs to be done, start, and then give up? Ultimately, the important thing is that people who do not go through hardships persevere, and those who are persistent are more likely to achieve their goals. This has affected me not only in goal setting and productivity but also in my daily life. While holding a Q&A session during a webinar recently with those who purchased the book, someone asked, "Nier, you look much happier. Is that true?" You asked. I thought this. "You know, that's really how I am. It's not because I'm happier, and that's not my goal. It's just that the pain is much less. Right? This is n't happening to me; it's happening for me."
Is this true? I'm not sure. Is it true? It probably isn't. But I chose this belief. Because it gives me strength, reduces pain, and motivates me. The most important thing is that belief is just a tool, not the truth. And you can do much more than you believe . So, the last question I want to ask you all is this. What part of life do you give up on in 15 minutes? Where could I achieve a much better result if I put in just a little more effort before giving up? I mean the part where I gaslight myself to make myself think I can't do it. However, considering all of this, faith is very useful but not a panacea. And powerful system that helps you achieve desired results or success without spending a lot of effort and time.
In this video, I will talk about that very system-that is, dramatically increase your chances of success. Thank you for watching. I will see you in the next video. good bye.
