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I think the mood that I'm feeling this morning is dread. What an intro. You know, there are just some days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. If my son is here, then I just kind of push away those feelings and I just have to put on the supermom hat and carry on. But this morning, he's not here. And uh it's it's tough. But I have to remember that my feelings aren't going to kill me. And this mood will eventually pass. I just have to literally get up and start doing things. And then I feel like the dread will start to shake off. Oh, London's blanket. Oh, okay. Stop getting emotional. A nice made bed to jump into later. Okay, at least I've got a clean mouth now. I'm probably dehydrated as well.
Okay, I feel like I'm on the way to nourishing my body. I think it's time that I bust out the big guns. I've got my bullet journal. And in the beginning of the year, I created myself a dopamine menu. So, the starters are activities that I can finish within 5 to 10 minutes. Main courses are a little bit longer, maybe an hour, a couple hours. The desserts are things that I'm not going to do every single day. It's just not realistic, but it's just nice to have. And the specials, these are like twice a year. And then the sides are activities that I can use in tandem with any of the starters main course of desserts. I already feel like a tingle of excitement reading this because all this sounds like fun. The
first thing that feels good to me is either the gym or the hike. Okay, we'll revisit this. I've arrived to the gym and honestly, this drive was giving me life. I'm really excited to go to the gym today because I have a new fitness goal. I want to go heavier. I want to start lifting heavier because my son is getting heavier and he still wants me to carry him. He still wants me to pick him up. There's going to be a point where I just simply can't carry him anymore. Like, no matter how strong I get. But up until that point, I want to try my best to kind of keep up with him. Like, how sick would it be if I could just carry 100 lb? Is that possible? There's nothing left. Okay, let's head on into the
gym. I am a new woman. Wow. out. Remember the good old times when I was just spiraling over there? While I was pumping iron, I thought, you know what would be really nice? A picnic. I love eating and I love eating outside. That seems like something that I could really look forward to. Okay, even though that was just a body shower, I feel amazing. Just one more. All right, makeup is done. What do you think? Okay, let's make some sandwiches. Technically, I can have a picnic just for me. But once I saw the number of these Bos dinner rolls, I was like, maybe I could have a picnic with friends. I feel like this is where technology can really come through. I'm
going to check find my friends and see where everyone's at. I'm just going to do a group text and see what everyone's plans are. While we wait, I actually do want to talk about the Find My Friends feature, but I think I need to sit down. The year that Find My Friends was implemented into all our phones. At first, I was like, "Oh my god, this is sick. I can see where all my friends are. They can see where I am." But I remember there were times where I would see a cluster of my friends hanging out without me, and I would feel this sting. But through therapy, I learned that it's not the current version of me that's truly reacting to this. It's like the 12-year-old Jen or the 11-year-old Jen
who just wants to be invited to everything. And going through therapy has helped me just really settle into myself so much better. And that leads us to today's sponsor, Better Help. So May is mental health awareness month and together we are trying to stop the stigma around mental health. So to understand what prevents people from still seeking mental health support today, BetterHelp launched their first ever state of the stigma survey. So they asked over 16,000 people about their thoughts on therapy and mental health. And the results were actually pretty shocking, especially amongst the younger generation. So 37% of Gen Z believes that those who seek therapy are mentally weak. Ah, and that couldn't be further
from the truth because a good therapist can listen like deeply listen. They can ask you the hard questions and they can help you see things in a new perspective. They can also give you advice and techniques on how to cope and self soothe just like they've done for me. My only regret is that I didn't start therapy sooner. Like it would have been so clutch during my teenage years and my early 20s, but my Korean parents like didn't see it as an option. Thus, I didn't see it as an option. So, if you think you can benefit from speaking to a licensed therapist, but fear or stigma is holding you back, this is your sign to try Better Help. You can click the link in my description or go to my link,
betterhelp.com/jen. That's better h e l p. You can also use this link to get 10% off your first month of therapy. Okay, now with that said, let's go make some sandwiches. Oh my god. Okay, Christina's in. Ununice is in. Ruby's in. Okay, I feel like today just really picked up. Your girl is dressed and ready to go. Quick outfit of the day. That is it. Dress is from Zara. My Marge Sherwood purse. For shoes, I think I'm just going to wear like my silver New Balances. We might just like go on a walk at the
park, too. And most importantly, I've got all our things necessary for their picnic right here. All right, let's head out. We're hitting a bit of traffic, everybody. I anticipated this, so I brought myself a yummy drink. Okay, so this is Wild Wonders. I think this is one of their new flavors. It's cherry lemonade. I'm going to do a little taste test right now. Wow. This tastes like Dr. Pepper. Honestly, there has not been a flavor by Wild Wonder that I didn't like. I like all of them. Genuinely cannot remember the last time I've done something this spontaneous. I feel like my Virgo mind loves to plan and prep.
And so even something potentially as simple as a picnic, I would think that I would have to prep for it days in advance. I think I got too much in the habit of doing that I forgot that there is just genuine spontaneity that still exists. Like I can make it. So, I don't know. I'm like really happy that I just decided to have a completely free day with no plans. When I'm scrolling, especially on social media, I have this tendency to think that, oh my gosh, like everyone is out there living their lives and having so much fun. And honestly, yeah, I think that's true. But that doesn't mean that it takes any fun away from my life. It's not like there is one finite fun pie. And if other people are having fun, it's not like
they're taking away slices from the fun pie. Mm- There is enough fun for everyone. I feel like I'm the happiest person in traffic right now. Jolly. It's like a Korean cereal snack. Oh. Oh my gosh. Whoa. It's delightful. Okay, so these mantras were free on a good day. Cheers. What did you bring to the function? Nice.
I put the salad on the bread and it we got Italian and stuff. They're all talking about [__] Maybe we will have a chat later. Oh, you did it. You popped it. Okay, I hear that. Okay, go up on the second one. Why? My parents are coming over uh in a couple hours, so I'm really excited and I want to make sure that they are fed. They don't really care about if the food has like a theme, you know? You know, some people are very particular like
we're having Italian, we're only having Korean, we're only having Chinese. No, I my family prioritizes variety. On the menu, I am making a chicken bolognese. And then I'm just making mug radish soup. I really do like cooking. This like domesticated life suits me. So, this is Lennin's dinner. Just put the bolognese inside this pa. And then this one is mine. Bolognese with broccoli. They ask you how you are, you just have to say that you're fine. This is my parents dinner. This is my mom's bolognese pasta. Dad has a different menu. This is tofu bolognese with broccoli. Of course, they've got a side
gakugi. Thank you. No. Why? You can see yourself now. Level one. Level two. Level three. Level four. Level five. Here we are now at 7:15 a.m. Going to start making some breakfast for everyone. I think I'm going to make my dad Kanan muddy and then Lenn in an egg sandwich. Also going to boil eggs. We really run through so many eggs in this household. That's it.
When I first moved into the house, the bookshelf was a feature that really excited me. I had a vision. I was like, "All my books are going to go here, my knickknacks." And for a minute, I think I was on to something. But I lost momentum. I got into the trap of thinking my bookshelf should look a certain way, you know, that you see on Pinterest where all the books are the same color and it's like some of the books are the same copy. They're just like multiple copies of the same book. I'm not going to lie. I was like a little bit tempted to do that, but I was like, "No, no, no, no." Like my bookshelf is going to be filled with books I've actually read or want to read. And now I'm at a place where I feel like I have enough books to fill my
bookshelf. And I feel like that's always how I envisioned my library to be. There's a couple of different ways I can approach this. One is by color, you know, like the rainbow Roy G. Biv style. And then there's genre. I think that would take a little bit more time, but it would actually work better as a library if I wanted to select a certain book that I wanted to get. Let's just get started. Okay, so I think phase one is just to collect all the random scattered books in my house. Believe me, they are everywhere. I'm done trying to do B-roll. Just going to start organizing all the books.
It is complete. It's done. What do you guys think? My bookshelf has become like a Skittles wrapper. I love it. I'm tasting the rainbow with my mind. I returned. I made a big adjustment. I got rid of that monitor because it just didn't really make sense there, you know? It was just like this big black box. So, I put my Kelly piece from my office to right there. And I feel like it ties in all the colors together. I think that's much better. I feel way more inspired to do like a book report video. I feel like that should be my next video, a book report. It'll be right here like this. I feel like we really did a 180 in this vlog because now I am laying on this bed with just
this profound sense of gratitude. I am feeling so incredibly lucky and blessed and I feel like I'm buzzing but I'm also aware that this feeling of bliss will also pass which is sad but you know that's life. There's going to be more mornings where I wake up with absolute dread and a sense of purposelessness. That's a mouthful. But there's going to be mornings where I just spring out of bed. Anyway, I'm going to end the vlog here. And if you stayed to the end of this video, thank you so much. You guys have also contributed to my sense of well-being. Truly, I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye. I can't even cover it cuz the it's too high.
