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Vivaldi composed many of his concertos to showcase his own virtuosity on the violin. Standing in for him tonight is Alberto Martini. Buonasera. Rylan. Buonasera. Alberto. Rob. Nice to meet you. Pleasure to meet you. How does it feel to play Vivaldi here? For me it's fantastic because I love Vivaldi from the first day I took the violin. Yeah, I know. For me is one of the greatest composer in the world because of the energy and the powerful of Vivaldi. I would love it if Rob could potentially join you at the end so maybe Yes. be a maestro himself.
Is that okay? Yes. You've got to do this. Maybe. Maybe, maybe. Can you imagine we have the painter of Vivaldi in Is there? Yes, yes. And he look down for his Vivaldi will be looking down on you. Yes. There we go. Rob loves classical music. He's always going to concerts and he even writes opera reviews. So it's a dream of mine, genuinely. But I actually feel that I'm not worthy of it. You're overthinking this again, Rob. Maybe Rylan's got a point. Grand tourists came to Venice to experience new things they would never have the opportunity to do back in Britain. But Vivaldi was a genius and the
prospect of conducting one of his masterpieces inside a monument to his brilliance is frankly terrifying. It's madness. I feel completely sick. Classical music audiences are usually pretty discerning. If you just get it a tiny bit wrong or you miss a cue, it can change the entire experience for everyone. People are coming to listen to this piece in the place where he pretty much composed it with him looking down and then there's some bloke from England getting it horribly wrong. If I were the person in the audience, I'D BE FURIOUS.
Rob loves it when people get things that he loves. If Rob had a Rubik's Cube in his hand and you'd never seen it before and he showed you how to do it and then you yourself did it, he would take great pleasure in the fact that he has passed that on to you. He's not a selfish lover. He's a giving lover. When he was back on his feet, Byron might well have met a new beau at a Venetian high society ball. So, I'm meeting my blind date at the Palazzo Dandolo, a Renaissance palace which once hosted lavish parties and dances. I'm truly fascinated by grand tourists, but it would be only part of the picture if that didn't also include dancing and lovers and all of the stuff that all the grand tourists did.
Buongiorno. Nice to meet you. It's been so long since I've had a date of any meaningful sort that it's impossible to remember. I feel I want to vomit. Have you danced before, Boris? Yes. No, I'm a terrible dancer, Rob. You have to believe me. So you try like you will try. I will follow you. No, that's not a good idea. We'll end up falling. follow Fabio. Our dance teacher, Fabio, is a descendant of Giacomo Casanova, Venice's most famous lover, and he's really getting into character.
Are you ready, guys, to start? Uh yes. Fabio's teaching us the minuet, an elegant couple's dance that originated in 17th-century France and spread to aristocratic ballrooms across Europe. The minuet, with its short, neat steps, was a favorite of grand tourists. I feel totally seduced. Well, I have to say you look good from behind. It's my best angle. Oh, you are great dancers, guys. Huh? Two men dancing openly together in Byron's time was a rare sight.
Do you remember the flyer? Uh no. Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry, sorry. But the exchanging of female partners during the minuet offered the opportunity for gay men to flirt without detection through tantalizing touches of their fingertips. I'm very proud of you. Thank you, Casanova. Okay, bow. Super. For me, the shame around being gay has disappeared over the years. So, stepping into the footsteps of the grand tourists who came here to be free of a world that asphyxiated them in all of these social mores where they've come here and experience the frisson of a lover. They could never have done that in England without judgment. They could wake up in the morning and feel joy, not post-ejaculative guilt.
And a final bow. And that's the minuet there. Grazie. Listen, how about we have something to drink? Gin and tonic? Yes, I think it's a good idea. Would you suggest that I go on Grindr? Here in Venice, uh? Oh. Yeah, so I can text you. Venice had become known for its thriving gay scene, so much so that in England, homosexuality became known as the Italian vice. With numbers of male prostitutes growing, the ladies of the night petitioned the city's bishop to help them lure back trade.
He gave them his blessing to publicly bare their breasts on a designated bridge, dubbed Ponte delle Tette, which crudely translates as the Bridge of Tits. Oh, wow. I mean, this is a big old paint job. Look upwards at this gorgeous illusionistic painting that you see. This was by somebody called Gaulli. Look at the amazing effects that you have. This is what we call a trompe l'oeil because it tricks the eye as you look at it. You feel as if you're receding upwards into the heavens together with all these amazing figures.
Byron's fellow poet Joseph Addison "It is almost impossible to imagine the beautiful and glorious scenes as are to be met in the Roman churches and chapels." Look at how the painter has even painted shadows to kind of mimic the three-dimensional effect of clouds actually existing there before us. That's been done with the stonework, as well. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Like you can see like the cherubs and the angels coming out of the ceiling. Baroque art was all about breaking boundaries. And literally breaking the boundaries of the frame. And metaphorically, exactly. Yes.
The Baroque was part of the Counter-Reformation. Martin Luther's new Protestant religion had emerged, giving people a simpler connection to God. The Catholic Church fought back with ever more spectacular art and architecture designed to bring worshipers to their knees. You really have to put yourself in the mindset of the people of the time. They didn't have any other kind of visual material. So, no TV, no photographs. So, this was the only way to kind of bring to life these saintly figures.
It was essentially the most expensive ad campaign in history. And I'm sold. But they are preaching to the converted. I was an altar server in a Roman Catholic church. This just This smells like my childhood. It's like I feel smothered in a good way. Like a cuddle. You just don't really think of anything. You just take it all in. And I mean, there's a lot to take in here. The Catholic Church certainly knew how to put on a show. And every day for the last 300 years, at 5:30 p.m. precisely, that's exactly what happens at the Chiesa del Gesù.
Before our very eyes, a painting of St. Ignatius falls away to reveal a dazzling high-camp sculpture of him instead. I mean, even Madonna would struggle making a bigger entrance than that. I'm just going to say this despite the exquisite nature of the art, it was rather tacky. It's not Rob's cup of tea, and many a grand tourist felt exactly the same. One wrote, "Of all the places I've seen, I know none so fit to convince a man of the absurdity of popery." And I thought of it. That's what I want. Every day at 5:00 something like that with a gold statue of me where people can just come and have a little sit down.
She knows a good chance you're going to be beatified and you made a saint when I think so. Me and Rusty Lee. I mean, I love it. Like, I totally get it. Not only are you in the house of God, but you get a little 5:30 show.
