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What if I told you that self-doubt isn't proof that you can't trust yourself, but actually a sign that you already know what's true? You're listening to relish the podcast for people ready to stop chasing self-improvement and start savoring their lives. If you're tired of the hamster wheel of healing and hungry for more joy, presence, and meaning, you're in the right place. Hey friends, it is Alyssia, and today's Quick Bite episode is about one of the biggest themes I see in coaching self trust. I named this podcast relish because I want you to savor and live more fully into your life, and self trust is essential for that. If you're
new here, hit follow or subscribe so we can keep growing together. So a few years ago I went through a hard year professionally, one that I now see was the year I really developed a deep, embodied sense of self trust. And I was speaking truths in a work environment where they were not welcome. I was, I often felt gaslit, and that led to a lot of self-doubt. And now before that, I understood the idea, the concept of self trust intellectually. But this was the year I can now look back and see. This was the year I learned what it felt like in my body, and I had to sit with the discomfort of being told I was wrong, when deep down I knew I wasn't, and learning to
discern the truth from the noise. That is what grew my sense of self trust, my understanding of it. Now, at the same time, I was coaching a lot that year. I learned so much about myself through coaching my clients, and I started noticing that almost every conversation came down in some way or another to self trust or self-doubt. And that's what we're going to unpack today. How are those two actually very importantly related? When we talk about trusting yourself. We first have to stop and ask, who is it that you are trusting? And for me, it's the part of you that is unconditioned. So I call it your light. Some call it your higher self or your intuition, your soul, your spirit, your capital s self. In Buddhism, it's pure awareness or
Buddha nature, and some of you might better connect to it as universe or collective consciousness. God, if you view God is within you, you know, whatever your gateway. My approach is dependent on the understanding that we are more than a body. Okay, so if you don't believe that, first of all, this whole podcast probably won't be for you. But I believe whatever tradition resonates Ates that this unconditioned part is the part of you that knows what's true for you, even when your mind is spinning. I'm going to talk more about my approach
to this on the podcast soon, but if you don't know yet how to connect to that part of yourself, that intuition, that's where the work really begins. Because self trust isn't just about making a decision and being decisive. It's about knowing the voice that you're listening to and what that feels like inside your body. So consider for yourself when you are connected to that aspect of you, your intuition. What does it feel like in your body? Do you know? You do know, but consider what does that feel like? Here's something I've discovered that is often a shock to people. You can't feel doubt without also knowing what's true. Okay, so doubt
and trust knowing it's more like there are two sides of the same coin. Most of the time in my coaching practice, at least, when people tell me that they are doubting themselves, what's actually happening is they do know what's true. They really know. But that truth is very uncomfortable. And following that truth, acting in alignment with it means doing something different, which the brain hates and is going to resist. And so the doubt is actually fear. It's fear. They're just afraid to act on the knowing that they do have. So here's an example of someone I've worked with for a long time. I know
them well, and this person wanted to leave their job. You know, for months they were coming to our sessions and complaining. Deep down, they knew this job. It's not meeting their needs. It's draining. It's violating their boundaries. It's too much. They're overextending. But we would talk about it and talk about it. And when the moment comes to take action. Her mind would flood with these thoughts that you know you need the money or people are going to judge you. Or what if you can't find something else? And so then they interpret those doubts as I can't trust myself. But the truth is, those doubts show up because they were
about to make a courageous, authentic choice and their brain freaked out. It's scared. The brain wants to do the same thing over and over again. Your patterns, the ways that you've always done things are familiar and so they feel safe. The perfectionism. The fear of making mistakes or fear of judgment. The people pleasing, the putting other people's needs first. These are all conditioned patterns, and even if they're painful, they are predictable. Self-doubt can also be something that you learned. It's conditioned and self trust often
asks that you step into the unknown and your brain is going to resist that change. She did end up leaving her job, by the way. So here's the reframe. Self-doubt isn't bad. It's fear. And fear can be intelligent. There's a quote that I love. It's fear is a signal, not a stop sign. So when fear shows up, when doubt shows up, it's an opportunity. An invitation to check in, to check in. Is this my intuition saying this isn't right? Or is it fear trying to keep me stuck? Keep me in the familiar. Research in cognitive psychology backs this up. So when we are making values based decisions, feelings of uncertainty often
come and signal something important is here. Something important is at stake. And that, you know, we're weighing a meaningful change. We're at the precipice. So fear is just a sign. Something is important here. Okay, so the heart of this is self trust is a skill. It's a skill that you can build and self doubt. It's often actually just proof that your inner wisdom is speaking that you already know, and you just have to learn how to tell it apart from the fear. So today reflect and ask yourself what does it mean to you to trust yourself?
Can you see that self-doubt could be a sign that some part of you actually already does know what's true? And then consider what is one area in your life where you could lean into that knowing, even if it's a little uncomfortable? So let me know what you find in the comments or on social. Self trust is the heart of so much of the work I do. That is why I created Unshakable. It's a course. It's simple but powerful, and it's designed to help you connect with your intuition and the felt sense of it, so that you can learn how to reframe doubt as intelligence. And it'll give you the tools to start practicing
right away. You can find the link in the show notes, along with a free meditation from the course, so that you can try it out today and see how it resonates. And if you haven't yet, follow this podcast. Subscribe so that you don't miss the next quick bite in the next episodes. I hope you'll give us a five star ratings and leave us a review so that we can keep spreading the word. And remember, self trust is a skill. You can practice it, you can strengthen it, and self-doubt is a signal. You can't have one without the other. See you next time.
