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Do you think the spark is real and important? Absolutely. The spark is real and important, but it changes, fades, and grows in other instances. I think you need to feel an immediate attraction to someone you're romantically interested in. That doesn't mean you'll feel overwhelmed, hot, sweaty, or unable to breathe. It simply doesn't have to be this way But you do need to think, "I'd like to be a little closer to them." Move my chair a little closer. You know, I should find a way to talk to them, you know. But that doesn't mean that connection, intimacy, and attraction can't grow over time. Absolutely they do, especially in women.
Especially in women. But you must find the person you're dating attractive. And there needs to be a spark of " yes, I want to be physically closer to them," but I also want to know more about them. There's something magical about this. There is something, something to work with. I think there has to be one But as you get to know someone, when the novelty wears off, that spark will change, and that's okay. I do n't think we should rule someone out if there aren't any immediate fireworks And we must be prepared for that spark to change if we plan to start a long-term relationship. Yes. When can the spark deceive us?
How does he deceive us? When you feel like you're on a roller coaster. When you find yourself sighing over someone. I like to say that we only become obsessed with people who are not completely available to us. And that spark can be mistaken, or the obsession can be mistaken for a spark, where we project something onto someone that is so intense that it seems like an obsession. And there is this gap between who they are and who they could be. The relationship you could have and the relationship you actually have. And that gap is a reflection of who you would become and how you would feel if the fantasy became reality. And that can feel like a spark, it deep and overwhelming obsession.
Anyone who has been through this knows how all- consuming it can be. But when we project a fantasy onto someone, that spark can take us to a completely different world. Yes, I completely agree. And it's very difficult because, when you do that, you don't even know you're doing it. No. Usually not at first. If you experience it enough times, it will become a pattern. It has probably already happened. If it's happened once, it'll probably happen again unless you notice it, because you shouldn't feel like you're falling off a cliff, right? You shouldn't feel a freefall of adrenaline and anxiety.
You should feel excitement when you see someone. The excitement of being close to them, of getting to know them, is exciting, but it shouldn't feel like the ground is disappearing beneath your feet, whether you 're with them, not around them, or uncertain about what's going to happen. What is the difference between chemistry and compatibility, and which is more important over time? I believe in compatibility in terms of shared values and visions for the future. People often confuse compatibility with similarity in all aspects, right? I need to find someone who likes the same movies, listens to the same
music, prefers to eat the same food as me, and goes to sleep at the same time, right? You don't need an identical copy of yourself. In fact, that would probably drive you crazy. What I believe compatibility is in a more important sense is: how do you value your time, attention, and energy when it comes to what matters most in your life? If you are someone who values family, wants children someday, wants to get married, and is looking for a long-term relationship with love, honesty, and trust, you need someone who values family, children, marriage, and prioritizes family well-being over their personal desires.
Those values have to align, otherwise you're headed straight for disaster. The same applies to visions of the future. If you start dating someone who wants to live in a van and travel the country, have a nomadic life, and you want to live two blocks from your parents in Iowa forever because that's your home. I think it's great for both of them. But they probably shouldn't be together. It will be a very conflictive relationship. I like to say: don't ask for what's not on the menu when you meet someone. If they say that work is their priority, that is their main value; Don't enter a relationship expecting to change that in someone. It 's not fair to them. It's not fair to you.
That's compatibility. Chemistry, in my opinion, boils down to the magic you feel just by being near someone. Yes. It's almost palpable. Whether it's a quiet intimacy, like a gentleness that draws them to each other; whether it's wit and jokes, having a similar sense of humor; Whether it's physical attraction, you simply want to be with that person and can't help but kiss them and everything else. To me, that's chemistry. And you want that. But chemistry doesn't build the long-term relationship, the lasting union that some people desire.
Is love enough? Love as a feeling or love as an action? You tell me. Love as action is because love, as action, is will. Willingness to find the color, the nuance, the balance, willingness to learn to love someone as that person wishes to be loved. Willingness to be present and loving when you least feel that way. You know, people say, "I would give my life for my partner. I love them more than anything in this world. I would literally give my life for them."
That's fine, but would you put your phone down when someone tells you about their day? Do you hold their hand when you walk together on the sidewalk? Do you notice when they get home from work and their mood is a little down? Do you take the time to stop and ask them about it, to remember the little things they tell you, to worry? That's love. That is love as action. That's what maintains the connection. Love as a feeling will be fleeting if we don't follow it. Follow him to the end. Follow through with actions. Many people today feel that there are plenty of fish in the sea. There are so many options.
What do you do when you meet someone? You like them, but you notice they show a certain detachment because they have the idea that there are plenty of fish in the sea. And you try to hold on to them. It's clear you're trying to hold on, knowing that in the end, they might let you go anyway. Do you value commitment? Do you value someone who also knows what they want? If you have a clear vision of the type of relationship you want, of how you want your relationship to feel: consistent, reliable, warm, fun, playful When you understand that, it becomes much easier to discern who is right for you and who isn't. Someone who still worries about all the other fish in the sea, who is easily distracted, who gets this attention, who gets that attention,
and you feel like you have to control them. If you feel you have to control them, it 's not love. And you can't build a relationship, a fulfilling relationship, from that place. So, if you notice that they don't value the same things as you, that they don't value commitment in the same way, they're probably not for you. Because the last thing you want to do is chase them, try to convince them to want the same thing as you. And please, I'll show you how great everything will be if you just choose me. Then you end up losing yourself in the same way you were trying to avoid in the first place. It 's always difficult. I always notice that we are willing to tolerate bad
behavior from someone we really like compared to someone we only like a little. And so, when we say we want reliability, if the person we really like doesn't respond to the message, we are patient. But if someone we only like a little doesn't respond, we say, "Oh, red flag." That was me. So, that was a childhood wound, am I worthy of being loved? Am I hard to love? What kind of person do I have to become for someone to choose me and pay attention to me? Right? So, you like me a little. You have something of interest. You pay some attention. I'm going to get the other 50% of that attention from you. I'm going to earn it. I will tolerate the harm, the lack of respect, because you give me
a little bit of what I want and I will show it. And then he would enter into relationships, being completely chosen, stable love, very good people, and he would put them to the test. No, you don't. I'm going to show you that I can rebel against this. I'm going to show you that I'm hard to love so I can come back and win you back That's a childhood wound that doesn't heal until you take responsibility for it. It wasn't until I realized the pattern at play and got fed up with my own nonsense. I got fed up with the same hurt, the same anxiety, the same cycles. It's like, I don't want this. And then I took responsibility and realized that the stability and
love I was looking for required me to make decisions based on values above all else, and really show up and support myself and calm myself down when I wanted to run away, when I wanted to beg, or when I wanted to react I had to learn how to respond. A little fact about me. I was going to ask you, how bad did things have to get for you to take responsibility? I really got lost chasing. I had given up on my dreams, lost all confidence, and tolerated the worst possible behavior. It was just a shell of myself, real and true. And when you reach that level, when you basically hit rock bottom, you either force yourself
out or you realize how deep and dark it feels until you find the courage. And you don't want to live like that. I didn't want to live like that. I knew there was an option, I knew it was going to be difficult and that it would require a lot of time, uh, attention, understanding and patience with myself. But it's one of the best things, one of the best things I've ever done, a big part of what really got me into this job, frankly. Tell me about that. The pattern I was talking about, you know, the "pick me, look at me, what can I do to get your attention?" That came mainly from my mother. And my mother died of cancer in 2019. that was so devastating and yet so
healing because of the way we were able to repair our relationship before she passed away. We were able to have those conversations, open up, be so honest, so honest, and the safety and space that was created, feeling seen, chosen and loved in that way, even though it was the end. There was something about that moment, and obviously the grieving process that followed, that changed me to my core, and all of this was happening almost at the same time. The feeling of hitting rock bottom, the death of my mother. There were so many things going on there, where I realized that I was looking for evidence to confirm or deny the beliefs I learned in this mother-daughter dynamic
growing up: that I was hard to love, that it was hard for me to be loved, that I had to fight to be chosen. I was looking for evidence to confirm that everywhere and it felt awful. It felt horrible. So there was something of the love, support, and honesty that I was able to find in those conversations with my mother, and then the work I did after she passed away to learn to be present for myself and no longer tolerate those beliefs, no longer take them as absolute truth. And that's where the real work was. That's where the job came from. How helpful was it to repair things with her And more of us could heal our relationships with our future partners by repairing our relationships with our parents in some way. If you have the option, it's worth
trying, but it's not mandatory. You don't have to do it. And I was so blessed and fortunate to be able, first of all, to have time before she passed away, because she was ill. But also that she had an open heart and mind to meet me there. I know that's not a luxury everyone has. And that's really difficult. If anyone identifies with this, I just want to acknowledge that there is a grief involved you know, not having a father or mother who understands you in that way. You don't have someone of such importance with you there. But there is definitely a process of a strategy similar to the one I just explained that you can do on your own which is to find yourself in the way you would wish that father would find you. What would you like
them to say? What would you like them to validate about you? Because I assume that what you want validated about yourself is the same thing you bring to your romantic relationships. I wish you would accept me. I wish you would just love. I wish you would look at me and say, " I'm so proud of you. I see you." There are probably some variations of that appear in your conflicts with your partner. TRUE? And if you're with someone who is secure, loving, and patient in love, you can have some of these conversations with them. Hey, this is how I feel. You know, maybe it came from mom or dad, maybe not. But communicating that, sharing that, that's how we grow in a
relationship, by bringing these beliefs to the table. Hey, this is what I'm feeling. What I 'm hearing in this conversation. I heard you just said that you don't love me and that you don't care about this relationship. And they look at you as if to say, "I just told you I was going to be 2 hours late getting home." That? Not me, what? Exact. That is where understanding, healing, and reprogramming truly come from. But it requires a lot of vulnerability. Yes. That's not always comfortable, but it's always worth it Yes. One of my first experiences with love was being overprotected and then made to feel guilty for not reciprocating at the same level. And so, when I started dating my
wife, I did exactly the same thing. I gave her too much love and then made her feel guilty for not loving me in the same way. But what helped you realize it was a personal pattern? The responsibility for, damn it, this is something that falls to me. I think it ended up being, as it was so long ago. I think it probably ended up being a conversation where my wife said something like, "I just don't know what I could do to make you happy." Like: "I just don't know." "Even if I did this, this, and that, I don't even know if it would ever be enough."
Mhm. And I think when he told me that and I reflected on it, I thought, "Yes, I think he's right." I do n't think it would have been. Even if she had done everything I said she wanted, or everything I remembered, it would never have been enough because she would find something else. And I also began to realize that when I went overboard for her, it was never because she asked for it, wanted it, or even needed those things I went overboard with. So that was self-inflicted too. And in fact, if he had been more present and aware, perhaps he would have satisfied his desires and needs.
Almost as if you could get love. Correct. Absolutely. I felt I had to earn it. And that's why you gave so much, thinking that's how you get love. Without realizing that love was in the everyday, in the little things, in the beautiful things and in, you know, the things that are already there. And then there was another conversation we had a few years later that was very revealing: I said to him, "I feel like I 'm always planning our vacation, doing all the planning, the details and everything, and I feel like I hardly ever rest." And she said, "I would be delighted to plan them, but the difference is that when you plan something, I happily do whatever you decide." "But when I plan something, you find a hundred things
that are wrong with it and you feel unhappy about it And that really struck me because I thought, "God, he's absolutely right." "That's exactly what I would do." I would be bothered by the schedule, the timetable, and everything else because I have an opinion about how it should be done. And therefore, she lets me plan it because she knows I'll be happier that way in both aspects. It's very interesting to see how much of this is self-inflicted, because I've discovered that the more I take responsibility for how I need to change, and the more she takes responsibility for how she needs to change
, the better our relationship is, rather than her telling me how I need to change and me telling her how she needs to change. Well, and it's very common, I call it the criticism and withdrawal cycle. A person says, "I want more." The other one replies: "Why is nothing I do ever enough?" And that can quickly get out of control Yes. Taking your story as an example: "Hey, I always plan these things." "I would love for you to plan your vacation more." Yes.
She could easily say, "Last time I suggested an idea and you rejected it, I tried to propose this other one before and you didn't want to accept it." "Nothing I do is right, where do you want me to go with this?" Yes. And it becomes this spiral, and after that there's a retreat or the criticism gets stronger. "I told you that you didn't plan your last vacation, and you know what?" "You haven't planned any dates either." "Everything falls on me." What's really being communicated is: " Hey, can I share this mental load?" "Can we share some of the emotional labor here?" "Can you be present and help?" "Can I receive some support?" "Can I feel your connection?" TRUE? That would mean a lot to me. And I'm
a little overwhelmed. I feel like I can't find the right words or the right thing to do. And it feels like you don't accept me, like nothing I do is valued. Mhm. The same underlying intention, but very different ways of approaching the conversation. Yes. That's right. Therefore, our ability to understand why something bothers us. Yes. And communicating that is essential. Mhm. Furthermore, being able to hear the intention, even if your partner cannot explicitly communicate it, is also very important.
You said in a video that you can tell how much you love yourself by the partner you have chosen. Tell me about it. Well, I'm posing it as a question because if you hear someone say, in the video I think you're referring to, how would you feel if someone said they could tell how much you love yourself because of the partner you've chosen? Does that sound like a compliment or an insult to you? And what it really boils down to is, I 'm not judging your relationship, but the way you feel about that question can offer you a lot of perspective. Have you ever tolerated treatment that really doesn't feel right? It does n't really feel loving. It's not something anyone would tolerate if they cared about themselves.
Oh, wow, I've chosen an amazing, patient, and caring person. You know, some part of me must love me enough to choose someone who loves me that way. It is really, for the most part, a reflection. What are we choosing? And am I making decisions, building relationships, and investing in relationships that reflect love-love for myself? And going back to values, am I making decisions based on my values or am I stuck? Am I being complacent? Am I also participating in this negative dynamic? Yes, it's really about reflecting and seeing what comes up in people. Yes, it's a great reflection. It's an excellent question and a great way, if you 're dating someone now, to
make the right changes and adjustments. Absolutely. And if you're married and feel you made the wrong decision, what would you do if someone is listening to this and thinking, "I 'm listening to you right now, Q," and that feels difficult because my partner isn't present? I know they love me, but I'm not sure. I think we lost it somewhere along the way. What would you say to them? I love that distinction too. I say that dating someone is about discernment. Marriage is about devotion, not the other way around.
Say it again. Dating someone is about discernment, not devotion. Devotion should be reserved for marriage or long- term relationships, for long- term partnerships. That's important as you make decisions. But what I would say to someone who realizes that perhaps the dynamic of their relationship is not as loving as they would like: first of all, examine your part of the situation. That doesn't mean it's your fault. This isn't a blame game, but if you visualize the type of relationship you want with your husband, your wife, your partner, what does it consist of? And how can you add more of that now?
How can you be the first to try to give more? How can you present yourself as the partner you want to be? Where is the appreciation for the ways in which they strive? It's very easy to fall into a spiral of disappointment. It's like entering a tunnel with no exit where you only see what they don't do, what they do wrong, and how they are not present. Get out of there. If you want your relationship to work, you have to get out of there. How do you know the difference between a good request and an unreasonable one Because I imagine that when you go out with someone
, you often hear: "Hey, I don't think you'll be there," or "you missed my friend's birthday," or "you missed this, you missed that." And you almost feel like they're not listening to you. Mhm. How do you figure out if someone's comments are good for the relationship or just unreasonable demands? If there's an overly rigid mindset, if someone comes and says, "You skipped my friend's birthday, you forgot that important meeting I had last week, and you forgot to take out the trash. You need to stop loving me. You don't care about this relationship, and I'm not going to tolerate it. I'm not going to allow it." That's not reasonable. That's the ego talking. That's an
insecurity. That's not nice. That's not a loving way to communicate or think. But if someone can get close to you and maintain the nuances, they can see the colors. "Hey, you've been really stressed, haven't you? You had a really busy week. You forgot about my meeting. You missed my friend's birthday. You forgot to.you forgot to take out the trash like you said you would. I know you've been busy. Is there anything I can do to help? And is there any way you could come to the event with me next week? It's really important, you know?" So, it's about being able to say, "Hey, this hurts." "Hey, I understand where you're going with this."
"You're a human with limited capabilities and I don't expect you to be a superhero, but the relationship is important, right?" There's a lot of color there. So I think the direct answer to your question is: if it 's something rigid, demanding, and only considers one perspective or one side, then maybe you should consider a different approach. You said in one of your videos that the only people who are bothered by your boundaries are the same ones who directly benefit from you not having them.
I love that. Can you explain it? Someone who loves you wants you to set boundaries. Someone who loves you wants there to be limits on what you will and will not tolerate, on your capacity and what you cannot handle. That is necessary. Someone who loves you and, even better, someone you want in your life. We can argue all day about whether they love me or not. If they are disrespecting your boundaries, you probably don't want them to have much access to you, either energetically or emotionally. At the end of the day, boundaries are not designed to keep people away. They are not designed to hurt anyone's feelings. They're designed to conserve your limited amount of energy and attention, right? I.I can't say yes to everything. I can't
say yes to everything and still be present in the way I want, while maintaining the character and integrity that I really like about myself. There's no way to achieve it. Someone who loves me will encourage and respect that. And the people who benefit from you not having them, those who want to get more out of you, those who want more and more, those who are more egocentric, won't care. They won't care if it's good for you, bad for you, or whatever. They are more focused on themselves and that is disrespectful. That's not love, and that's not someone who should have unlimited access to you. How do you set an effective limit? Because I think we've become accustomed to language, but we don't really know how to use it.
We think that a boundary protects you from other people, but in reality a boundary is something that protects you from yourself and your own triggers or patterns of behavior. So how do we establish behavior that protects us instead of trying to push others away? A boundary is: "I will do or not do this if that happens." "I will do this or not if that happens So, that means everything is under your control. I will not participate in this conversation if you yell at me again. I won't do it. Well, I guess I'll have to retire. Yes. And you're not just saying that to them. You need to know that too, after a "this or that," right? I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who lies to me. I won't do it.
You need to be clear about it for yourself. Absolutely. You could share these things with other people. Returning to the, uh, conversation about difficult parents or conflictive relationships with your parents. You know, I value our relationship a lot, but I won't stay if you keep talking to me like that If you keep bringing that up, I'm going to leave. I'll do this if I don't do that, that's a limit. It's not a "you can't do this". It's not a "you'd better not". It 's not a threat. It's a rule for yourself. And your limits are there for you to respect. And that's the hardest part, isn't it? I feel that we compromise our own limits. So, we say things like, "I will not participate in this conversation if you lie to me
." But then we continued participating because it's not really a limit. It's about having hope that they're not lying to you Mhm. TRUE. We say this hoping that you will stop lying if I threaten you. Yes. But you just said it's not a threat. It's a limit if we recognize that I have to leave now. So, if you're lying, I have to back away now. But we don't want to do that because we hope they will change. Yes. So, it's like a secret, hidden hope rather than a limit. The manipulation you just described: saying I won't tolerate it, but if you do it, I'll stay, because what I'm really trying to do is get your attention and love
, so I mix this with a threat. That's it, that's it, that's a lot of manipulation. instead of supporting yourself. How to respect you enough to say, "I will not tolerate this." My self-respect is not worth the emotional turmoil that comes with allowing this type of behavior. That's very difficult. You have to choose your self-love over your desire to be chosen. Mhm. Or your desire not to be alone. That's fundamental. Absolutely. I feel like a lot of people now, I'm sure you hear it all the time, are burned out and exhausted from dating. They're simply tired of going out with people.
And they have developed mindsets such as that there are no good men left. All good men already have a partner. Oh, you know, well, she's not the one. Whatever, right? Everyone has their own version, but people are tired of dating. We talked about what happens when you go out there hungry. What do you do when you feel exhausted? Well, you have two options. Number one, you can stop. You can choose not to date anyone. It's an option. Take a break. It doesn't have to be a full-time job. It doesn't have to feel like a full-time job It's good to focus on other things. Or you can change your expectations. There's
no need to approach every first date as if you were interviewing your future spouse for your future spouse's job. Like with so much risk, so much pressure. Can you come in and try to have some fun? You know, can you change the energy you want to bring to a place where you barely know anyone new? You're going out for dinner. You're going to get a coffee. Are you going to get a drink? Whatever it is, can I enjoy it? Can I have fun with it? And deciding on the energy you want to bring to the event usually allows you to enjoy the event more, instead of feeling: "ok, here we go again". Another disappointment, you know, another
letdown, another waste of time. Don't do anything with that mindset, with that energy or attitude. So, you can stop or change your energy, change your perspective. Is there such a thing as "the one" or a soulmate? The right one is the one you choose. The right person whose natural essence complements yours in a way that makes love and growth a little easier. A little, right? It's just a little bit. Sometimes it's still difficult, but ideally you choose well. You use discernment at the beginning.
You admire someone's integrity. You really respect them. You really value them. You like them, something that is often overlooked. You know, he's this tall and earns so much money, so he must be the one. OK that's fine. Do you like the boy? You know, that's really important. And then you build the relationship from there. Respecting the other person, respecting yourself, and again creating this third entity. Something that I also think is overlooked when it comes to choosing the right person and being the right person. This works for both sides. You need to be your partner's biggest fan, your own biggest fan. I say it with all my heart.
You need to be your partner's biggest fan And if you can't, then you need to examine your insecurities. Either you need to pay attention, or you've chosen the wrong person. Mjm. If you don't want their dreams to come true, if you don't want them to succeed, if you don't want them to be their best and happiest selves, don't promise to spend a lifetime with them. I really think that's very important . And that it's not talked about enough. I don't hear that very often. We're talking about conflicts, right? We talk about how to manage boundaries and all that, but you want someone to support you. You want someone who's there for you
on your worst days, on your best days, and you want to feel like you're on the same team. And I deeply believe that you need to be your partner's biggest fan. And that helps them to be the right person and to build the right relationship. How do you know if you're in love with someone or just the idea of that person How do you know if you're in love with someone or just the idea of that person? Is there a difference between how you wish things were and how they actually are? Mhm. How big is that gap? How much of the relationship do you actually enjoy compared to how much time you spend trying to change them, trying to change the dynamic?
I like to say that if you allow your partner to be exactly who they want to be without molding them, without controlling them, without micromanaging them, but rather allow them to show themselves as they are. Does that help you feel more or less like the person you want to be? Does it feel more or less like the kind of relationship you want to be in? It does n't mean it's perfect. It doesn't mean it's all the time. But if you. It doesn't mean they won't change. It doesn't mean you can't change. But if you truly allow them to be, if you accept them exactly for who they are, does that help or hinder what you want love to feel like? That's a question that needs to be asked. Yes, that's a great question. I love that question. It's such an
important question because that's the person you're with 90% of the time, and that's what you'll experience. And yes, if you're in love with the idea of them, then you're absolutely right. Your answer to that question will be no. Mhm. Because I want them to be a little more like this, a little more beyond that, a little more this other thing And do you need a little more? Is that little bit more you're missing really important to you? If so, then of course, do what you have to do. How do you. How do you regain your self-confidence after someone you thought you'd be with for a long time ends the relationship?
Well, step one is to go through the grieving process. You know, there's an acute stage of pain where you don't have to do anything right or correctly. You can only be. That's step number one. Especially if it's a breakup after a very, very long relationship. The next step is reflection. You know, right now the story could be: they dumped me. They did n't love me. All those years were wasted. How could I have done that? I should have known, right?
I must be someone disposable. It's too much. That's tough. There are more nuances to that story. So, what were some of the warning signs, or even just the disconnection, the things that weren't working? Take some responsibility for that. You know, I didn't communicate as well as I really wish I had, or you know what, I stayed too long because I tried to communicate and that person didn't reciprocate. That was really difficult. Take responsibility for how you might have contributed, what you want in your relationship going forward, and instead focus on who you want to be now that chapter is closed. Because I can tell you one thing: the right person for you is the one who wants
to be with you. If they're not willing to try, they're definitely not your person. Hmm. And I believe that most things, most relationships, can be resolved if two people are willing. If you want it to be that way, except in some extreme cases. But if they're not willing, they're not your person. Now, when it comes to moving on specifically, I always say: stop trying. Because we think that, well, if I follow all these steps, I have to do this in the morning and this at night and this is my nightly routine, then one day I'll wake up and I'll have overcome everything, as if it were destiny. I say: imagine that tomorrow morning you wake up and get what you wanted. You want to move forward.
You want to regain your self-confidence. If you knew for sure that you would wake up tomorrow and that was your reality, what would you do with yourself? Oh, that's a very good question. What would you think about? How would you spend your time? What would you invest your energy in? Who would you spend your time with? What would you think about? What would you talk about? And then, just start doing some of those things. Carry the grief with you. It probably won't happen as quickly as you'd like, but you're looking for a direction. You want a clearer vision of where you're going so you can move forward in that direction. If you want to
build stronger relationships, better understand your partner, and learn to love in a healthier way, I want you to watch Quinnland's new program.
