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I'm Josh Johnson and this is the Wired Autocomplete interview. How did Josh Johnson It's weird to say your name a lot. All right. Who is Josh Johnson favorite comedian? Some of the top I think ever are obviously like Carlin and Prior. Really enjoy Wanda Sykes. I think that she's incredible and I really like should have thought about this more. Feels like an obvious question. Let me see. I really like Bill Burr stuff and I really enjoy basically if you had a Comedy Central half hour in the early as I watched it and I'm sure I loved it. Who is Josh Johnson's uncle? Yeah, my uncle.
He's a lot. great dude, but he's he's got a lot of issues. I like hanging out with him when I get the chance, which is rare because he always offers up some new perspective that probably no one else has. And I mean that in both a good way and he will say some of the most insane things I've ever heard. Not to harp on it, but he legit one time was like, "These people, everybody over here believing in kangaroos." And I'm like, you when someone says something, you're like, what? Cuz you're sure you didn't hear it, right? They're like, yeah, everybody over here believing in kangaroos. I was like, what do you don't think kangaroos are real? And he was like, come on. And I was like, what
do you mean? Come on. And he's like, have you ever seen one? And at the time, I hadn't. And so it was very frustrating to have to admit that I had never seen one in person, but it doesn't make you right. Like just cuz I haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And then I was like, who was making money off of people believing in kangaroo? Like if you have a big conspiracy, there's usually like money behind it. And so I was like, what? Who benefits from this? And then he's over here like, uh, I bet them zoos making a pretty penny. I was like, all right, all right, you're out of your mind. Who does Josh Johnson look like? Man, this one. Whenever you get to this type of question, this thing, you
can really get your feelings uh hurt real bad. I've been told I look like a lot of people where I saw no resemblance at all. And this is usually, if I'm being honest, by uh white people who only know me, then they're like, "Wow, you look just like Kobe." I'm like, "In what? In what way? How? There's no way. But I have been told I look like um the nicest way I can put it is a less affluent ASAP Rocky. Like I don't have the money or the Rihanna or the height. But apparently I think it's just literally that both of us have a twist that hangs down. And this is just cuz it's short. It's like it's too short to go up. I'm not trying to look like ASAP Rocky. Sometimes I wish I look like
ASAP Rocky. He looks very good all the time. You can't throw all of them hard cuz I feel like eventually I am going to hit something important. Okay. Can Josh Johnson sing? Nah. I can like hum and I'm nasty with a kazoo. All right. You get a kazoo and you get me going and give me the tune. I'll hit the kazoo like you wouldn't believe. Can Josh Johnson draw? Let's find out. Let's Let's see. You know, art is relative. I'll let you be the judge. Okay. Give me Okay. You want me to draw on the back of this?
Yeah. Okay. All right. Get ready. What do you think of this? That's real emotion. That's real motion. And guess who it is? If you can guess who it is, that's going to determine whether or not I could draw. Do you know who this is? No. Nobody knows. As soon as I say his name, you'll recognize the name. It's Batman. Yeah. No, it's Batman. Yeah. He always brooding. Look at him. Come on. That's Batman. Y'all know Batman when you see him brooding. Strong silent type. You know, clenching his jaw cuz there's crime a foot. You know, there's some people who live in lowincome housing to beat up.
All right. They think they can get away with this crime. Not today. Can you guess which Batman? Christian, thank you. George Clooney, you don't see those cheekbones. Thank you. Appreciate you. Glad we cleared it up. Can Josh Johnson do improv? What do you think I've been doing? We don't I didn't even know that I was supposed to hold it like this. All right. I showed up very illprepared. I've watched like two of these in preparation and I wasn't sure if they were going to have me do the same things that the other people did do. So, I'm very thankful that they had me on. But, ooh, I have been fighting this entire time to think of something funny for every minute that I've been on camera to make up for the
fact that I am not prepared. Can Josh Johnson speak Spanish? No. Aba English? That is about where it stops though. Josh Johnson, Zoron Mam Donnie. One thing I like about Zoran Mom Donnie, he'll tell in a second. You know, when James Dole was over here cancelling the Knicks watch party because they had cancelled the other Knicks watch party and James Dolan was clearly trying to not make it look like they canled it because Trump was coming. So, he was like, "Let me just cancel an extra one just so that nobody blames my boy." Right. Zoron was like, "Hey, all you got to do is fill out the paperwork. We already approved the paperwork and he canceled it anyway." That's the type of snitcher I like. That's like
that's the hey y'all don't like him already. I got more reasons. I got like when with when Zoron tell you, he tell you like a real hater, you know? Josh Johnson, Drake versus Kendrick. Let me start by saying neither one of these men know I'm alive. So it's not like I you know what I mean? Like some people get so like invested. They're just so like it's in their heart where they're like, you know, Abby Graham is the greatest. And it's like, all right, if you think that, that's that's fine. But I just I remember this rap battle being like such an epic moment. I remember the night that Kendrick dropped right after Drake.
Like Drake dropped Family Matters and then Kendrick dropped Meet the Grams. And it was insane to watch the people's faces when they shot their reaction videos or if you were just with friends and you listen to both because Drake did his thing. Drake was over here and he had you like kind of bouncing to everything that he was saying and he had like a good flow and everything and then when Kendrick finished you were like ooh I hope Drake doesn't kill himself. Do you mean it was like very bad and then he did the then Kendrick did the Super Bowl and then he did not like us at the Super Bowl and then at the end it said game over and like now I see why Drake left the country. Josh Johnson Rubik's
Cube I enjoy them. It's like a meditative thing. I have fun trying to solve it. I actually have a cube here if you're interested in watching. Do you have a personal best? Do you time it? I have timed it, but then I hurt my own feelings. You can time it if you want, but just know I'm doing this for fun. What is your personal best? I think my personal best is 49 seconds. Yeah. Okay. Right machine. Okay. Damn, I'm impressed.
Seconds. Oh, thanks. Oh, sweet. Yeah, good time. This these things are great. How does Josh Johnson write so much? Mainly, I don't do anything else. This is like the thing that I like to do the most is writing. And I'm a bit obsessive about how I can get better, just be better in general. I think that for the most part I make a daily practice out of writing and then I put all the daily writing together. I perform it on the weekend and then I put out a video that is that performance. But I think it's mostly about having something to say about the things that you're interested in. The news is going to do whatever the news is going to do. And I understand that we all have fatigue with politics sometimes. And so I actually like to talk about
everything. Some people think I just talk about politics. Some people think I just talk about hip-hop. Some people think I just talk about pop culture and stuff when really I'm making an aim to talk about everything all the time. Where did Josh Johnson get his start? So he started in Chicago and was just doing open mics and meeting people and stuff like that. That's where I really began doing any form of standup. I did my high school talent show, but I don't think you can really count that. How did Josh Johnson get into comedy? You know, the thing about comedy is you can just start. No one's going to stop you, even if they should. No one's going to tell you don't. Or even if they tell you don't,
you have to listen. It is uh one of the lowest barrier to entry professions that exists. Where did Josh Johnson grow up? I grew up in Alexandria, Louisiana, and it is in the middle of the state. and somehow no one has heard of it and then they lose all interest. They move on to the next question. So that's what I'm going to do right now. What does Josh Johnson do for fun? I like to watch MMA. I think it's really interesting. I like watching people test their skills against other skilled people. I also watch a lot of cartoons. Some would say that I see in cartoons, you know, like I like when I
look out at the world, I see like a very colorful sort of like cartoon world. I think it's one from my love of uh video games and then comic books and then cartoons. So when you see me, when I see you out on the street and you see me, know that I'm looking at a very animated version of you. You know, bright colors, maybe a little rain cloud over your head, depending on your mood. There's a lot going on. Okay, my bad. Okay, let's see. Whenever there's one like whenever it's just your name like this, it seems like whatever I'm about to pull is going to hurt. Just Josh Johnson. You know what I mean? And then you pull it and it's like sucks.
You know, Josh Johnson before Google. You don't want to meet me. You don't want to meet me before Google because honestly, I was that kid that asked why for everything over and over again. Like that was me when I was really little. I'd be like, "Why?" And then as soon as I discovered Google, my mom got so much relief. Cuz then I was just typing into Google, why? Why? You go deeper. You can go forever. Josh Johnson crowd work. When I see someone in the audience, I still try to focus mostly on the thing that I wrote that I set up to deliver and everything. But if someone is like looking like they're not from this
planet and they are within like my sighteline, which is not much, you got to sit in the very front for me to see you. Not just cuz the lights, my eyes also aren't the best. And so I think in that scenario, sometimes I will get distracted enough to ask what happened. Josh Johnson quotes. A timeless quote from me right now that you'll never forget that I have had to say many times is when people have walked up to me on the street and told me that they loved my work and then they described me to me and then I had to say that's not me. That's actually happened often enough to hurt my feelings. All right.
Going to give this a throw. What is Josh Johnson's comedy band camp? So this is the new tour. I'm very excited for people to see it. We're gonna have music, gonna have dancing, gonna have comedy, and one of the other features that I'm really excited about is for everybody to meet everybody else coming to the show. So, we have a personality quiz that you can take and then you'll find out what troop you're in and then you can meet people from your troop. We're going to be doing special things throughout the tour that build out the world for each one of these troops. So, I plan to have games and different meetups and special work specifically for those troops. So, take the personality test. You can take it at
josh johnson comedy.com and we'll also have people able to take it at the show even if you want to take it right up until the show starts and find out what troop you're in. What? Blank. Josh Johnson blank. This could be bad. This could actually this almost feels like an insult. Like it feels like a mad lib. I don't know if you remember Mad Libs, but it feels like one of those Mad Libs where it's like you end up insulting yourself. Okay, what kind of hoodie does Josh Johnson wear? That was better than I thought it would be. Honestly, I was tensed up for a second. I thought this was going to be like a revealing personal truth or a nasty read on me as a person. So, the hoodies that I wear
very much vary. I will usually what started out when I started wearing gray hoodies is I get them from vintage stores like thrift shops and stuff like that. But then as I started wearing them more and becoming known for them, I really started to get them as gifts, which is a very nice way of saying that you forgot my birthday because now I have like 22. What does Josh Johnson have in his pocket? So, right now in my pocket, in my right pocket, I have my wallet. There's a bit of a bulge there, and I can assure you that's not cash. I have lots of coupons. I have a couple of cards. I keep people's business cards in there in case I'm ever in a pinch. I don't know if you remember
that scene from Fight Club where he had like Tyler's card, so he called Tyler. That's the type of thing that I hope I never have to do. If you give me your business card, I hope I never call you in dire straits. But you need to know if you give me your business card, not only will I keep it, but I may call you when I need a ride, when I have an emergency, if I really have nobody to talk to and I got your card, that's a number I can call. What is Josh Johnson favorite cereal? Not to sound like a fair weather fan or anything, but I am not big on cereal. mainly because when I was little, a lot of the cereals that we ate were not the name brand cereal all the time. So, I got a lot of uh they weren't
Froot Loops, they were circles. Do y'all remember circles? It was like circles. Yeah. Hardcore off-brand just circles. If you didn't have circles, congratulations on having a pretty stable income via your parents. So, we made it through all the boards and I want to say thank you for one being interested in me at all. That's very nice of you. You could be googling anything. There's a lot that we don't know, but you looked me up and so thank you so much and thanks for asking some really great questions. I hope you enjoyed this and uh me and I hope to see you soon on the Comedy Band Camp tour or just in life.
