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Justin, would you prefer not to have autism? But I have autism. That's my life. And do you like having autism? But autism is my life. That's all. What does your autism make you do, Justin? How does it make you different from other people? I don't know. Maybe he's like had it. He's on overload. Like not and I'm still overwhelmed of questions. I enjoy the honesty that uh Justin shows, you know, that he's honest about finding things annoying and at the same time sometimes I feel it maybe I am being boring, you know, which isn't such a great feel.
Yes, it is bland. For several days, I'd been spending time among children diagnosed with autism, a condition of the brain often associated with a lack of interest in others. Around one child in a 100 has autism. Those severely affected can sometimes behave in a way that is profoundly challenging for the people who care for them. And yet with the right intervention, they can also make amazing progress. One of America's top schools for autism is here in New Jersey. My name is Julian. By visiting some of the pupils, I was hoping to get a glimpse of what life is like for their families, the tough choices they have to make over how to raise their children.
What's your name? Hello. and to experience for myself the pleasures and the strains of one of the most extraordinary kinds of relationship. I'm hop you need help with what? You ate your donut already. You're not getting another one. Paul Vieiraa has three children, of whom two are autistic, the seven-year-old twins, Marcelo and Lucy. Okay. [screaming] During the Saturday errands, Marcelo had become distressed that we hadn't stopped at the supermarket, part of his usual routine.
I know you want to go shopping. We're going to go to Dr. Mark. And then don't hit me. You need nice hands. Curry, stop. You need nice hand. YOU NEED NICE HANDS NOW. STOP THAT. [screaming] SO, both Marcelo and Lucy have autism. What is autism as you understand it? As I understand it, it is a neurological disorder.
Cause unknown, cure unknown. Right, Lucy? Where do you want to go? Go outside. You want to go outside? Hi, Lucy. How are you doing? Is that Was I doing something wrong or No. No, you weren't. [clears throat] You see Lucy now, she's she's an independent little soul. She'll sit up there on that swing all by herself without even making the connection that there's a whole world around her.
Do Marcelo and Lucy know that they're autistic? No, I doubt it. I don't think they know what day it is. I just try and make them happy. I sense you're pretty stressed about this whole thing. I'm heartbroken. God, forgive me. But I don't get a lot of enjoyment from them. You know, to wait 5 years to hear someone call you mom after daily doing everything for them to keep them safe and give them comfort and provide for them. It's it's tough, you know. Marcelo and Lucy attend a state school specially designed for autistic kids.
We're from the BBC and we're very pleased to meet you. The developmental learning center in Warren, New Jersey has around 250 children. Say car. Good. Say cheese. It takes an age range of 3 to 21 years old and prides itself on turning almost no one away, no matter how disruptive their behavior. That's the one we're working on. B. Much of the work focuses on social interaction. So, you say, "What's your favorite movie?" He says, "Tales." Then you could say, "Well, that's cool. My favorite movie is uh The Lord of the Rings."
Okay, now we have our script. Now you guys are going to act it out. No. Hey, what's up? Not much. A small percentage of students make enough progress to move to a more mainstream school. The latest to make the jump was 19-year-old Nikki Ingressia. And we've been talking. I'm graduating high school. You're graduating from here and moving on to a new school. But that's great. But that's not graduating high school at all. Well, it kind of is from here. But you're moving up with new friends and But what about my old friends? They're going to miss me to death.
You want to be challenged and this is a great opportunity for you to be challenged, right? Yeah. Well, I have a fear of getting homework. Well, you know what? I can give you homework now to prepare you. The idea is that you'll be in a school where the other students are similar to me. Yes. At a higher educational level than the ones here. Yes. Correct. Which you would enjoy. Most likely. You hope to. I hope to. But you're nervous. Yeah. Why? Cuz it might be a lot harder and the challenge might increase full force.
Do you get a lot of anxiety? What's anxiety? Anxiety. Did you get anxious? Are there things in your Yeah, sometimes. What makes you nervous? The stu the students that don't know any better who like nothing better to They have nothing better to do with their lives but to bother the crap out of me. And how about the work here? Does the work here make you nervous? The work we ask of you? Yeah, cuz I'm most of the time it's pointless. Why is it pointless? It's pointless because it's either too easy or too hard. That makes it pointless. So Nikki has challenges that a non-aututistic person might not have.
Would we say that educationally? Exactly. which are what um coping with um with frustration and being told to do a job and complete it is it we don't want to talk about this you look uncomfortable I don't I'm not comfortable why what what's making you uncomfortable this is a good way for you to express yourself why are you uncomfortable you see that okay come here what was it a kid having a hissy fit That's a that's that's one reason why I shouldn't be here. It's not uncommon for children at the DLC to have aggressive tantrums. I was curious to meet one of these pupils. Hi. Hello. It's Sam.
How are you? How was your day, Joe? Joey Morales Ward is 13 years old and lives in Morristown with his mother Carol. Hi Joey. That's what we do. Said cheese. Yeah. Were those chips good? Yes. Okay. Now you got to be quiet cuz they're asking me a question about you. Coo said cheese. How are you, Joey? Sour cameras. Those are cameras. Yes. But he asked you, "How are you?" Good. Joey had a behavior today.
Yes, he did. He had a behavior today. Um the teacher said that he went after her, which means he got up from what he was doing and just went and started to attack her and they had to restrain him. How often does that happen? Um, at least once a day, sometimes twice with Joey. Yeah. Every day. Why does he do it? I want to say part of it is lack of communication, but I think at this point because they've gotten worse in the last two years, I would say, is I want to say puberty. How does Joey fall on the autistic spectrum? Medically, he's considered severely autistic because of the lack of communication, but there is there's kids with communication that have more severe behaviors than him. There's there's no
there's the it's like it's a huge spectrum and there's no one thing that you can say each kid has. Hi Joey. Hi. Lou, I'm Lou. Pay attention. He's waiting. Hi Vuey, if you could take the autism away, would you do it? Yes, mom. I always pray for that miracle. And one day I was in church and my daughter says, "Mom, do you know that God made him that way?" So then I'm like, "God made him that way to make me learn a lesson probably." Hi, Kate. Say hi. Carol's daughter, Kate, is not autistic. Hi, Kate.
You don't want to say hi. Are you being shy? That's okay. I'm just going to bring her in. I might call my husband in. Would you mind? those ways. Breathe. Go get some water today. [screaming] Should I get some water? Thanks. Would you like us to step out? No. Unless I let you film and nobody's going to ever know that this IS [screaming] TRUE AUTISM. That's it. And no, but a lot of pe parents don't want you to see that. Breathe through your nose, Joseph. [snorts] You sorry?
Sorry. Okay. Can I have a kiss? Everything's okay now. Oh, we will say to you. Yeah, everything's okay. I'm Louie. Nice to meet you. How is that for you downstairs? Is that still an emotional thing to see that? It's very emotional and see I know he's getting, you know, tall and bigger than me and I know one day I can probably not control him at all. Sometimes he came after you and just punched you for no reason, right? He I if I said the word no, he's coming like a bulldog on top of me like a punch me.
Does it ever affect how you feel about Joey? No. Well, you know, when uh I remember when he when she was pregnant and I she told me I had a baby boy, you know, I was happy, you know. I like to him to be a doctor, lawyer, you know, big things in my dreams. But in the end, 18 months later, I found out he's autistic. And now I don't care anymore. I'd be happy he can really be dishwasher or the dishwasher or landscaping guy. This sounds like a strange question, but it does it make it harder to love him? No, it's I love him. You know, it's like any regular child.
A few miles away in Scotch Plains, New Jersey, lives Mary Ingressia. Hi, Mary. Hi, Louis. How are you doing? A teacher and the mother of Nikki. Nikki's in the basement. He's running upstairs right now. Here's everything. Wow. That's a lot. Now, is Britney here as well? Did you say Mary? Where is Britney? Britney. Britney is Nikki's twin. So, you're 19 as well. How do you do? Hello. How are you? Has it been helpful, do you think, for Nikki to have a twin? Who's um I think it's been helpful for Nikki to have not only a twin but so many other
siblings and with their friends coming because he gets socialized. To mix and m normal. How old was Nikki when you realized that there was something different? He was about 18 months old. And what happened? He literally woke up one morning. Um, he went into a total regression. He stopped babbling. He stopped crawling. He just stopped doing everything. And how is Nikki done at DLC? Nikki's done great. They have taught Nikki way above and beyond my expectations. And now I've overgrew the challenge. I look at them.
What would stop him from going to a mainstream school? Forget it. I think um just the idea of normal children being bullies. Yeah, there's kids that I have problems with in my classroom. And you know what? This morning I was so angry I said, "Oh, I'm going to stab this kid if he doesn't shut up. He doesn't. Nikki, what did I tell you about talking like that, though? It's freedom of speech, multi. No, no, you can't do that. What did I tell you about talking like that?
Never do it. And what'd you do? I just said it anyway. Cuz I was angry. Why? Because I was angry. I'm sorry. That's trouble. You want to go? Dude, they can arrest you. You go to jail. No way. Oh, yeah. Do you want that to happen? No way. Cuz that's a threat. I'm not kidding. I hear you loud and clear. You know you're not funny. No, you're not funny cuz I We already spoke about this. Oh. Oh, I'm Oh, really? I'm not funny. Am I laughing? No. Quit overreacting.
Stop it, Nikki. You're You're aggravating me right now. God, everybody needs to stop. That's the thing. If you could take away Nikki's autism, would you do it? No. Why not? Cuz he's too special. He also does so many things that you never seen before. I mean, I don't think any of my other children could do what Nikki does. Why don't you bring it in here? Nikki's written a number of dictionaries and also a novel called Dragon Law, which he was keen to show me.
These two are Japanese books, which are my which is my favorite language to learn. And I'm starting to write the entire alphabet in Haragana, Katakana, and Kangi. Do you speak Japanese? Yes. How do you say, "Hello, my name is Nikki." Konichua Watashiwa Nikuas. Very good. Next we have German. Can we move on to Dragon Law? Not yet. Next we have um Chinese simplified. And last but not least we have the Hindi language book. Hindi is a language that they speak in India. Okay.
Well that's it for those. Now we're moving on to the most anticipated work of them all. The Dragalon novel by me. Of course you wrote this whole book. The whole book. And it's inspired by the dra and it about dragon law. Yes, dragon law actually. Or if it's British English, it's dragon law. Would you read us out a tiny bit of the book? Sure, I'll read the prologue. The year was 1462 in a medieval Europe civilization setting built in ancient Japan. There once lived a sympathic Japanese Romanian black dragon. Mona has
committed suicide by diving off the castle's tower. Zinaku screams in despair as he slowly goes down to his death as the blood rises of a foot high blood pool. Great. What do you think? Great. Terrific. So, this school that Nikki's about to start, he'll stay in there for how long? Till he's 21. Then after that, what happens? I'm not really sure. I'm not sure where we're going to go after that. Will he still stay here?
Oh, yeah. He'll live here, of course. For how long? Nikki will live here as long as I'm alive. As long as mom is alive. And you know, and then Britney will take him. Britney or one of his brothers? You would do that, Britney? Of course. I would take Nikki, my twin brother. Okay. So, um, may I move on to another thing? Okay. Every mama, you're ruining it. Sorry. Touch stomach. I was back at the DLC hoping for more insight into the methods of the school. Lucy, can you tell me how he feels?
He does feel mad. Children on the autistic spectrum often have trouble with skills most people regard as instinctive. How does he feel? Surprised. He does not feel surprised. He feels happy. He does. He feels happy. Show me happy. The school tries to teach these abilities using strictly regimented phases of work and break to incentivize learning. Great job, Marcelo. Three stars. You get break. Good. I'd arranged to spend some school time with Joey and his behavior specialist, Kim Spurlock. Good job, Joe. So, he looks for the price of the item and there are two items and he adds up
the price and gets a result. Right. He seems to be doing quite well. Yes, he's made progress and we are really trying to focus on his behaviors, try to decrease them. and Joey strength that he can work on an activity for long periods of time especially the vocational task and I am finished good let's do our collating and stapling something like this is what I was talking about his stripes is that he can stay on task he can do a activity or a job and really work through it and complete the activity. What are you drawing, Joey? Good. You're drawing a girl. Does she have a name? Who is this? Good. Ponytails. Girl with ponytails. Very nice.
Break is You want to do it? Okay. Finished. HI. How you doing? This is your class. This is my class. A little later, I checked in with a teacher called Matt Fernandez. Curious to meet a few of Nikki's peers. Hi. How are you? Hi. Nice to meet you, Bradley. Will you stand up for a second and talk to us, please? Thank you, Bradley. And Matt is your teacher. How do you get on with Matt? So, him?
Yeah. I don't know. Hi, everyone. So, how old is he? Not how old I am. How do we get along? You do you like being in my class? Yeah. All right. What will you do when you graduate? Where do you work now for job sampling? You know, TJ Maxx. That's a department store. Really? And what do you do there? What did I do? You know, you know, folded. You f say I fold clothes. I fell to club. I fell towels.
Good. Thanks, Bradley. Well, you're welcome. Jamie, this is Tyler Smith. Hi, Tyler. Hi, I'm Louis. Louis, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. How are you? Tyler. Hi, Tyler. Tyler has pets. Sanka has a knack for geography. You can give him any country in the world and he'll give you the capital. For real? For real. What's the capital of Great Britain? London. Good. France. Paris. Okay. Madagascar. as ano Tibet. No, no Tibet anymore. Oh, okay. Tibet doesn't count.
Nikki had just a few days left before transferring to his new school. I joined him for one of his last art classes. I'm Louis. Hi, I'm Tommy. Louie. Nice to meet you. How you doing, Louis? Oh my god. Just tell me briefly what's happening in here. Uh, this is the comic book club and we have it for an hour a week. The rule is that they have to develop their own their two characters.
I've just showed my teacher my um my novel that I mentioned the other day, [snorts] which is right here. His job in the class is to um interact with everybody and help them out. Yes. So, you're kind of co-eing. Yes, I co-e. It's called collaboration. That's probably the most important thing in here is the kids interacting with each other. Yeah. But I'm going to miss my friends, though. Yeah. Why don't you guys talk about how you feel about Nick leaving? We feel happy for him.
Why? Because I'll get to do other things. Yes, you do. He deserves to go to this different school. Why, Mach? Cuz it's special. Because it's special. All the kids there can speak. Most of them can. Yes. All just about all the kids could speak just like how we can. Like they're like at a higher level like how we are. Now, Johnny, how do you feel about Mickey leaving? I feel grateful for him and I'm really proud of him and is going to leave because I'm really going to miss him because he's really one of my best friends.
Me, too. Would you like to be going with him? Yeah. Back then, like years ago, we had violent behaviors cuz we didn't know any better and it was a tough break, didn't it? Wasn't it? Yes. Yes, it was. But as we got older, we got mature and we in we were intelligent enough to learn more of the real world. Let's go say hi to George. I was back with the Vieieras. Look how long your hair is. Look, it's like a wig, George. Paula was taking Marcelo for a haircut.
Bye. [screaming] No, we're not going yet. We're going to cut our hair. It's okay. Do not hit your sister. Stop it. [screaming] I've got Peppa Pig on my iPhone. Does it Do YOU KNOW PEPPA PIG? I do not know Peppa Pig. I'm right here. Your sister's going to the bathroom. Have you seen Peppa Pig? Do you want to hold it? Do you want to hold
I was curious about the strain that raising autistic children can put on a marriage. Say good night. What do you want? Talk to daddy. Back at the house and Paula's husband Paulo had finished work. Cheers. With the children in bed, we regrouped in the kitchen. How you feeling? Tired. Long day. Very, very long day with the kids. It's like we're still stuck in toddler stage. Like we haven't got out of the terrible twos yet.
You just keep build [clears throat] it up. Build it up. And he's angry and mad. Marriage is the truth. Is it never be the same? It's never the same. It's not the same as it was before. What do you mean? No. Well, there's not like that laughter fun part anymore. Do you know? It's We miss out a lot. So, the only place we can take it out of each other like we don't go on vacation. You know what I mean? We don't go on parties and we see what regular kids doing outside and I know exactly how he feels because when you see typical children, you're you can't help but wish that was your son playing on the football field or your daughter cheerleading on the
sidelines or, you know, being in the school play and doing things that kids do. Okay. Oh, I just wanted to check on you. Okay. I'm back. You okay? Yeah. Is this where you are? This is my home room. Michopite. Come make yourself comfortable if you could. Okay. By now, I was more than a week into my stay, and Nikki had become curious about me. He'd taken the initiative of doing some research of his own.
This is what you're best known for. You're working with BBC making these documentaries and all these TV shows like when Lewis met and Louisis Deer is Weird Weekends. Those are your two best known programs. Well, I don't know, but maybe. Is all this info on your page true saying that you were the youngest son of the American Traveler? We don't really have to read that, do we, Nikki? You are of Italian descent and American distant. Is that strange to you? That's really strange. I never I'm Italian descent as well.
Well, maybe we're related. We probably are. It's a funny story. It's Should we click that away now? Sure. I'll move on to something else. Thank you. But there was a possible crimp in the plan for Nikki to move schools. His threat of stabbing another student had been reported. Okay. So, someone was laughing, right? And one was cursing me off. One of the school's behavior specialists, Dana Silva, had called Nikki into a meeting. Question. What did you do to one of the students? Did you say something back to the student?
Unfortunately, and then and I was told not to do it again afterwards. All right. And what did you say? A threat. And what was the threat? I screamed, "If you don't stop laughing at me, I'm going to stab you and see how he'll laugh at that." And he wouldn't he would feel exactly like how I feel. Me being laughed at him is like being stabbed towards the chest. Okay. Is this something Nikki's done before? Yes. Throughout this year. Why? Cuz they make me so angry. I just had to say those threats to get it out of my head. And the stakes are higher now, Dana. Because Nikki's going to this other school.
But I'm only one of the very few. And it's amazing. And we want that to continue for you. So we need to make sure we can control your anger and we need to give you strategies of how to deal when people don't like things. So these are the strategies. Yeah. Move away, ask them to stop, keep doing my work, write in my journal or tell a teacher. Those are five options. I did tell them to stop and tell a teacher. And I tried to move away. I did four out of five strategies. But you also did something inappropriate. You threatened a student, right? So, are we going to try our best not to make threats?
Yes. [snorts] You promise? Promise. Blue railroad train and going down the railroad track. It makes me Though most of the pupils at the school live at home, there is a tiny handful whose behavior is so unmanageable that their parents can no longer cope. Who am I speaking to? This is Josephine. Brian's mom. I was with a DLC parent called Josephine Engelhart. Well, I'm on my way to pick up Brian. You didn't tell him that I was coming, did you? Oh, good. Cuz I don't want him to get to be anxious, you know, waiting. Look how happy he is. Look at that beautiful smile. Mommy loves you.
Thank you very much. Thank you. Brian had burned down the family house aged 8. He had also repeatedly assaulted his mother. For the last two years, Brian has been living in a group home. Brian, say hello. That's Marco. Louie. Oh, look. I'm sorry. This is Lou. Hi. How are you? Nice to meet you. The number eight, please. Here, honey. You can put it there. Okay. Here. He loves to eat, Louie. He loves to eat. The main cause is to come. He's not going to let me forget it.
Me. Is he foo meat? What kind of taco is it? What kind is it? Is it beef? Yeah. Is it chicken? It's crunchy. I can hear it crunching. You know, he has a tendency like a lot of You got to slow down. You're going to make yourself ill. Yeah. You're going very quickly. Slow down, Brian. He always did. Is he very hungry or maybe he just likes the sensation of the food? No. He I believe both. I believe that they keep him in a schedule so he cannot just eat at will. Brian seems quite interested in me.
Yes. See, are we friends? Yeah. He nice to meet you. We're from England. Yeah. I mean, there's a cliche about autism that the people can be a little bit insular or inwardlooking. Yes. But um Brian seems quite sociable. Exactly. Exactly my point. He's very sociable. Me. High five. The food's coming. We got to get back to the house first. While Josephine went off to get more food, I was left in charge. How are you doing? You good? Yeah. How are you feeling? Good. Yeah. Do you ever play with these? What do you do with them?
Dominoes. Yeah. What' you do with them? Do you ever do this? Yeah. Do you want to push that one? Yeah. That's fun, isn't it? Should I do it again? Yeah. You ready to push? Yeah. You push. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Was that fun? Yeah. I thought so. Okay. I'm going to do the whole lot. Will you help? Yeah. You want to build one? No. You build one. Okay. You don't have to. Okay, I'm building another one. Brian.
Brian, you okay? Yeah. I've got the dominoes. Can you push the domino? Okay, honey. One minute. Here. Here, sweetheart. What made you decide that you couldn't handle Brian at home anymore? Okay. I knew deep down that things were unbearable. Absolutely unbearable. it to be afraid of your child is a terrible thing, you know, to be uh having to hide or having to, you know, to run away because Brian, listen to No, no, no. That's not yours. Grab a can. You want grab a can from the refrigerator. You want a can? No, no, no, no. See, he says laser. He knows how to say that. No, no. See, it's almost like a glut. You know what I'm saying? He goes from one, you know, relentlessly. Jo
Brian, no. Okay. Go ahead. He had a little bit of a look on then. Did you see it? Because I said no. Like he was trying to intimidate you a little bit. But it's it's nothing in comparison to how it was. It was pretty unbearable. So, the times that Brian did hurt you, how would he hurt you? He would grab me. I mean, I would lose chunks of hair. Sometimes he get it will get real scary. He would grab my throat and he could easily choke me that way. Not me. Huh? No, honey. No, you're No. Brian. Brian, go over there. You think he's being aggressive? That's not being aggressive at all. No. Brian, leave the kitty alone now. He's got a mischievous streak though, you know. And it's very
He seemed more cuddly in the car and now he's making me a little nervous. Wait a minute. No, you don't. No, no, no, no. Leave the kitty alone. Leave the kitty. Yes. Go ahead. Lay down. He's actually trying to be friendly, believe it or not. Brian, no. You cannot touch that. He could do that if he wants to. Yeah. I Does he have behaviors at the residence at the home that he's in? The only time hardly ever he's the like one they tell me he's one of the best behaved there. The only time that he does is food related.
So at the moment basically during the week uh Brian lives at the group home. Yes. And then he comes back at weekends just during the day. Saturday, Sunday during the day with you only because but he doesn't spend the night here ever. Yes, he has. And he's been a disaster every time because he doesn't sleep. Brian had been put on medication, which Josephine felt was helping with his impulsivity. Too much. Still, it was striking how warm he was and how friendly. Who? What? Yeah, that's Brian. Who do you think that is there? What?
Yeah, that's Brian. Not a wimp. I'd been concerned that Brian might not deal well with the end of the visit, but when the time came, he was the one who asked to be taken back home. You're waiting for us. Good job. Good job waiting, Brian. Where do you want to go? The house. Okay. How much do you think I love you? Too much. Yeah. Like a mama roy. Am I picking you up tomorrow? Yeah. I'm going to pick you up tomorrow. Yeah. Okay. So, come here. I love you.
Nice to meet you. A good night. You stay here. Yeah. Okay. He goes right through. Oh, thank you. Thank you for watching over him. God bless you. Good night. Thank you. He seems very happy. Yeah, he is. He's a happy little kid. He really is. Why do you think he's so much more mellow now? because he is in a much more mellow environment. You couldn't create that environment at home. Not with the pressures. We were just so bogged down, so tired, so frustrated.
Exactly. Are you happier now as well? I am happy. it, you know, in a certain way that, you know, I'm a lot less stressful my life right now, but I'm also sad in another way because he's not with me. It was the morning of Nikki's first day at his new school. I'd arranged to visit him at home. I'm sorry. It's all right. Hi, man. How are you doing? Nice to see you. How's it going? How you doing, Nikki? I'm tired a bit. Nick, you nervous? Yeah. High five. I'm curious whether there's more students at DLC Warren who will be able to make the kind of progress that you've made.
Probably not. Mary, was Nick ever diagnosed with severe autism? Yes. Severe. Yes. When he was little, was he? Yes. But I over He was non-verbal. I mean, he didn't do anything. He screamed until he was uh I would say about six. So, that's amazing, isn't it? The journey that he's been on. How did he start communicating? Honestly, my parents took Nikki to a church, a cathedral in Philadelphia, St. John Paul Newman's church. And I don't know if it was a miracle or something that you know was supposed to happen that the next day after the visitation of the church Nikki said to me, "Hi, mom." What? Just as clear as day. Crazy. True, though.
I don't know. Maybe it was coincidence. He said, "Hi, Mom." And then after that, he just added more words. Mhm. It's a little bit of a miracle, right? Yeah. But I think it's it's a disaster at the same time, too. Why? My mouth got me into a lot of trouble throughout my life. With the school day soon starting, there was still no sign of the bus. Where is it? Do you feel anxious? Yes. Would you like a hug? I'm not What did What was that reaction? I'm like, I'm not gay. Give us a reason like that.
No, not like a gay hug. Like a reassuring hug. Okay, fine. Hugged by a celebrity. Lois. Was that nice? Yes, it was. When you hugged me a But the gay thing, no. Where is it? We could take Nikki. You could do that. Yeah, that would be great. You'll be fine. I'm a bit nerv I'm really nervous. I know you are. I'm so anxious and nervous. You're going to be fine. I hope I will.
Love you. Bye now. See you later, love. Good luck. Oh god. Nick, how are you? I'm new. This is my first day here. I'm so happy you're back. I know. That's Louis. He's from the BBC and he's popular in the UK. Really? I'm kidding you. He has a Wikipedia page. Dang. You must be lucky. Yeah. Thank you very much. How do you know Nick? I know. He's an old friend of mine. I've known her. I've known her for six I've known her six years ago.
Yep. 6 years ago. We met in middle school. He's a good friend of mine. And now Nick's back. Hi. Good morning. How are you? Welcome. Welcome. Are you excited? Yeah. Yes. I'm I'm nervous, too. I'm a little nervous. Okay, let's go to the room. Okay, so you can kind of hang out. Okay, it's going to be all right. Don't worry. I'm already anxious and nervous to death. No, don't worry, Nikki. You're going to be fine.
Thank you, girls. You're very welcome. Show me. It's all right, Nikki. Don't worry. I'll be right there. This is where we sign in every morning. Okay. I think I just like the background. Nice job. Thank you. That was a little too easy. That was a little Back at the DLC, school photographs were underway. River's house. One of the strangest aspects of autism is how unpredictably it can develop. I can see. I wondered how these children's lives would unfold. Whether they would make sudden gains and leave like Nikki or continue locked in their own worlds.
For those older students who do stay at the DLC, teachers do their best to prepare them for an independent existence. One school hallway is built to resemble a main street with classrooms designed to look like shops and workplaces. Here, students get used to life in the outside world. Can I sit next to you? Sure. What are you doing? I'm writing. What are you writing about? I should do it. Add Sarah Jane's purchase together and complete the check below for the total amount. Use today's date. So, you had to put the date here. Did you write that?
Yeah. So, this is helpful, isn't it? Yeah. Because if you ever needed to write a check out in the real world, now you know how to do it. Yeah. Has he been making good progress? Absolutely. You know, one of Bradley's uh good skills being very thorough and making sure that he goes back and he checks his work, staying organized, and those are a lot of things that we focused on in the last couple of years. How did Bradley score on his check writing? Well, he did very well. Good. Very nice.
Done. Is that stressful? Yeah, I'm calm. You okay? I'm fine. Hi, [snorts] Brian. Do you remember me? I'm Louis. Hi there. Louie. Nice to see you. Are you Joe? Yes. Louie. Hi. Nice to meet you, Brian. What are you doing? Yeah. Now, what are you doing right now? Sorting. At this point, Brian is sorting the different baked goods, the pastries and things by type into different trays, right? With a view to maybe one day you think he could perhaps work in a bakery or in that kind of a workplace.
Yeah. The skills to work in something like that. He definitely has. He can definitely sort the different shapes, different colors, different sizes. Brian, we're going to go shopping. Could you get me two potatoes, please? And another one, please. I'll just have one carrot, please. And maybe one Danish. That is everything. Yeah. Did you enjoy that? Yeah. Was that fun? Good. Yeah. Next year, Brian will graduate. Is that correct? Yes, he's graduating in June. In June?
Yeah. What will happen then? Well, he's currently going to be at a workshop. Whether it's stuffing envelopes or putting batteries in a remote control, packaging like goodie bags, we are trying to work on those independent work skills while they're here. Come here, Sanka. Listen. Yes. What do we need to do in order to bake these cupcakes? Get a bowl. A little later, I joined some of Nikki's old friends in a cookery class. Oh, man. That's okay. Watch. We've got gloves on. No, it's okay. 100% vegetable oil, of course. Good job. Fruity. What's the capital of Vatican State?
Vatican City. Somalia. Yes. Movish. Kenya. Uh, Nairobi. That feels good. Tasty. Very nice, Bradley. The cakes are delicious. You're welcome. My time at the DLC was up. I'd been struck by the dedication of the staff and their commitment to making changes that could be tiny or immense, and sometimes both at once. Before leaving the world of autism altogether, I was making a few revisits. Part of what I sense maybe is that you don't want the fact that you've got two children with autism to define your existence, but at the moment it has become the defining fact of your
existence. At the moment, it is and it has been for a long time. I mean, I'm starting to see that there's a light that it won't be what defines us as a family or defines us as individuals eventually. So what do you hope for now? You know they always say God gives you what you can handle. And I have to say I think that we are extraordinary people but we were extraordinary people before these children came into our lives which is probably why I have such difficulty accepting it. I just some people it transformed them to being this ultra caring kind of a person whereas I think we've always been that kind of a person. That's all that's that's the difference I was trying to make. So you feel you didn't need
to be transformed. Yeah. In a sense. Yeah. Which is almost part of the reason why I get so angry because I am that loving sweet person, compassionate person. Right Lucy? the alphab. Wow, I like your alphabet. A B C D E F G Marcelo always loved letters. He knew the alphabet. He must have been 18 months old. He knew the whole alphabet. Hi. You're supposed to ignore the camera, Joe. Bonnie is dinosaur. Bonnie is a dinosaur. Hermagination. I was paying one last visit to Joey and his mother, Carol.
Carol had once told me she'd prayed for a miracle for Joey. It being Sunday, we were attending church. You take away the sins of the world and you know it clap your hands and you know it will show its that Carol was hoping for a kind of cure for Joey seemed completely understandable. And yet, what was strange was that Joey's personality was so bound up with his condition, it was hard to separate the two. His lovable qualities were intertwined with the challenges he presented. Can you find Mickey Mouse? What a hobbies. You want to sit here?
Sit here. Who? Me? Yeah. Who? Me? Who me? Here. No, no, no, no. Yeah, you can't get angry and hit walls. Go lie down. Since I'd last seen her, Carol had started a new technique for controlling Joey's tantrums by confining him to HIS ROOM. DOWN. Can I help Carol down? Down. And when you're ready, you [clears throat] can come out. When you can calm down, you can come down for breakfast. Okay, that's good. Good job. Calm down. Breathe. [snorts] We just Let's let you leave him and see what happens. Leave him. If it breaks anything in there, we'll throw it out.
Scissors. So, you feel this new system could be working right. The tantrums, although they're still intense, he seems to, you know, after 10 minutes come out of it and he comes downstairs and says he's sorry. On our last visit, you were worried about whether you would be able to control Joey as he got older and if the aggressiveness continued or got worse, right? Are you still concerned about that? I'm still concerned about that. If the t tantrums got worse, I would first try medicine. And if the medication does not work, I don't want to think about that. But what would happen is in order for me to get help from the state, I would
probably have to call 911 and then the state would step in. But I don't want that to happen. If it really did not improve, you would consider residential care. Well, eventually I would have to because if I couldn't take care of him, what am I going to do? And the sad thing is that's your only option really. That's the final outcome for all these children. What do [clears throat] you want mommy to do? Psych. Yeah, but you want mommy to take a picture. Beautiful picture.
Can you tell if Joey likes me? I Joe, do you like Louie? Louie hair. [clears throat] Do you like him? Yes or no? Yes. Do you like him? Yes. Shake it. What do you say to that anyway? See cheese. No, because I gave him two options AND THEN I ASKED I SAID, "Do you Joey, do you like Louis?" Yes or no? Yes. Now I have to ask it again. Joey, do you like Louis? Louie. Yes. And I didn't give him two options. Shake it. S cheese.
I was leaving the world of autism with a fondness for the kids and a respect bordering on awe for the parents. Moo. It's a cow. Cow. Moo. Raising a child on the severe end of the spectrum can entail decisions no one should have to make. And yet these parents were in different ways continuing to find inner reserves of love and compassion, performing a small miracle of their own in their ability to keep going.
