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America's 250th birthday is right around the corner and President Trump is celebrating it with a ballroom, a reflecting pool, and an arch. All stuff that was not on our Amazon wish list. America asked for healthcare. God damn it, we sent you a link and everything. Now, technically, Trump is not really allowed to build most of these things, but when has that ever stopped him? The Washington Post is now reporting that the Trump administration is planning on building the arch without Congress's approval. The administration argues that it doesn't need Congress's approval because lawmakers a century ago
authorized a somewhat similar project that was never built. Man, I just can't figure this administration out. They're not looking for congressional approval for a war with Iran, but they have lawyers going through all the old laws doing a control F for the word arch. How did they find this? I mean, the But Trump isn't the only one commemorating America's birthday. We here at the Daily Show are celebrating as well. And there are so many great moments in history to look back on. Although when you think about it, maybe not as many as you think. America's history is complicated. Our once proudest moments now problematic. Our triumphs morally gray. Milestones eroded by backlash. Our beloved heroes are now gross. But there's still one moment in American
history that brings us all together. The 1992 Olympic basketball dream team. Bang. The most incredible basketball players ever assembled. And also Christian Lightner. It's literally the last thing all Americans can look at and just say, "That was awesome." Boom. Shakalaka. Americans must forever reckon with stealing the lands of indigenous people. But we'll never have to apologize for Barkley stealing the rock four times against Brazil. Uno quapo. Walking on the moon now just reminds us of the conspiracy theories destroying the fabric of our nation. But how about this fabric? The big head t-shirt of the dream team. Man, that shirt was cool. had six of them. The end of the Cold War
collapsed our political consensus. But the Dream Team collapsed everyone's defense. Mr. Gorbachoff tear down this backboard. The Dream Team has no dark past to revisit. No statues to tear down, just absolute dominance by the greatest basketball players of all time. And Christian Lightner. Were they perfect? Was their top competition Vald de Ramas Kichas of Lithuania? Did some of them have a gambling problem? Did Michael Jordan's son end up dating Scotty Pippen's ex-wife, which sounds even weirder when you realize she must have
known him as a baby? Well, shut the up, okay? Don't take this from us, too. Just enjoy this American exceptionalism. So, happy birthday, America. Thanks for the dream team. The one thing we all agree we can be proud of. And Christian Lightner
