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-I want to talk about something that's out there. This is real. You actually are opening a restaurant in Brooklyn -- this is real -- called Swoony's. -Swoony's. -It's a real thing. -Yeah. [Cheers and applause] Check it out! -Where's thi? -Swoony's steakhouse. It's a speakeasy. -Yeah, in Brooklyn? -In Brooklyn. Yeah, me and my boy Mike, we opened up a restaurant. Matter of fact, when I leave here, I got to go do a taste test for the chef.
-Dude. That's fantastic. Have you always wanted to do a restaurant? -I never thought I was going to be opening up restaurants and driving Ferraris. I never thought of that. -Yeah. -I never seen this coming. -No. -I thought I was going to be either in the NFL or run at the Olympics against Carl Lewis. I thought I was going to run against Carl Lewis. -You didn't run? No, you never. Did you ever meet Carl Lewis? -I ain't never met no Carl.
-But, dude, actually, you did play football, I know. -I did play football. -This is a picture that we have of you. This is you playing football. -That was an 85-yard touchdown against Kennedy High School. Really? -80. 85. -No way. -Yeah. It was nice, man. I get that from my biological father, Tony Dorsett. -Sounds like a good guy. -I heard Taylor Swift like ballplayers. I'm about to throw the cleats back on, man. Taylor! Holla at your boy! -No, no, no. -I love you, Taylor! -Tracy, you are not afraid to speak your mind, And you always have a strong point of view on things.
So I thought right now you could help some people out there with big life decisions. It's time for Life Coach with Tracy Morgan. Here we go. [Cheers and applause] -♪ Life Coach with Tracy Morgan ♪ -All right, uh, you're gonna give some tough advice. -Okay. -Right? -Yeah. -Here we go. How about this one?
-Say, "Well, me and you going as Jada and Tupac." You Jada, I'm Tupac. Don't worry about it. Will don't mind. -Oh, man, you didn't read that. Did you read that book? -Yeah, I read the book, man. It's called. What is it called? What's the name of the book? -"Worthy," I think. -"Worthy"? -Yes. -It should be called "Let's Kick Will Smith in the Nuts." -Okay. All right. All right, this one.
-First off, I don't even care about his feelings. You ain't coming in my house. Until I get my money back. -That's right. You look good, bud. -Always good. Thank you, baby. -You do. You look great. How are you staying in shape these days? -Well, that's Ozempic. -Oh. -Yeah, but I've learned to eat -- I out-ate Ozempic. I gained 40 pounds. -Oh, really? -Yeah, I gained 40. -I've never heard of anyone gaining 40 pounds.
-This is not my first job. I used to be a trainer. -Oh, I didn't know that. -I used to be a physical trainer. And one time I was training this lady, I was working out, stretching her lower half, and she farted. That was enough to make me quit. I said, "The way this smell, I'm gonna have to raise your rates." -I didn't know that. -That was enough. -I didn't know that. -Mm, I ain't going back in that room. -So, Tracy's doing stand-up right now. -Sometimes. -Yeah. You're doing stand-up and then also.
-You know what I'm gonna have for dinner tonight? Lasagna. I'm gonna make lasagna. I just wanted to say that. -Are you good at.? -Want everybody to know I'm gonna eat for dinner tonight. -You're making lasagna? -I'm making me some lasagna. I'm gonna make it. -You know how to do that? -Yeah, I know how to cook. I got a cookbook. I got a cookbook in Barnes and Noble. I cook. -It's a very interesting look.
I love it. What's going on here? -I'm competing. What you think? -I didn't. -Olympics. -You're in the Olympics? -Yeah. -Oh, my gosh. Congratulations. -I called him and told 'em I wanted my medals now, before I get to Paris. Because I'm selling these. I'm from the streets. -Yeah. So you get your medals before you even go to the Olympics? -Yep. -Oh, my gosh. You look fantastic. Are you training right now? -Training? What it look like? I'm in the best shape of my life. -What.? -I'm competing in a. knish and roast beef contest.
They tried to disqualify me from roast beef, but somebody got some money. -Yeah. A knish and roast beef contest? Oh, my God. -There's a new event. -I love that. -I started it. -Knish, and also roast beef. Now, you might actually bring home the gold. -I started an OnlyFans page. -Oh, this is -- this is smart. -I started an OnlyFans. You get to see me in my boxers with my New York Knick hat on. But if you want to see my feet, especially after the accident, it's going to run you another $19.99.
-Okay. All right. Yeah, I understand. Now you, uh. [Clears throat] I'll do it. We're in the middle of an unprecedented heat wave here in New York. -Oh, my goodness. It is hot out there, y'all! -It is hot. I mean. -It is hotter than my father's scrotum pouch. You know how hot it was swimming around in his pouch as a sperm cell? It was hot! And I live in an affluent neighborhood in New Jersey. And I turned the fire hydrant on in my neighborhood. And my neighbors came out and they said, "What's going on, Tracy? Is there a fire?"
I said, "Yes. In my pants." -Are you, uh.? -Somebody getting pregnant. -All right. Look. Are you, uh.? -I love my babies. -Are you, um.? -I love my babies, man. -This is not AI, right? This is real. -I don't even know. I'm scared of AI. You ain't see "The Terminator"? I don't even know how to turn the computer off. If it start making noise, I just pull the plug out. I'm old school. What you want? -I know, I know.
-Welcome back to "MmHmm!" I'm talking with this guy. Who are you and why are you here? -Well, uh, my name is Mark Hamlin, and I'm hosting a local bake-off this weekend. -MmHmm. -So, yeah, I'm hosting a baking competition down at Bullard High School to support the local ROTC. -MmHmm. -We have 14 bakers competing. -MmHmm! -And, um, they have two hours to create something delicious with the secret ingredient, which is jelly. -MmMmHmm, MmHmm!
-Do you -- Do you bake? -MmHmm! -Are you a good baker? -Mm, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm! Mmm-mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm-hmm. Mmmmmmmm! Mnnnnnnhhhhh! Mnnnnnnhhh! Hmmmmmmmm! MmMmHmm! MmMmMmHmm! Hmmmmmmmm? Hmmmm? Mmmmmmm! Mnnnnnnnnhhh! Mmm! -Mnh. -Mnh! MmMmMm! Mnh! -Hmm? -Hmm! -MmMmMmMm? -MmMmMmMm! -MmMmMmMm? -Mmmmmm! -Mnh! -Mnh! -Mm-ohh-ohh! -MmMm! -Ohh-ohh-ohh! -Mnh! Mnh-mnh-mnh. -Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh!
-Hmm! -Ohh-ohh! -Hmm! -Ohh! Mm-hmm! -Mnh! -Ohh! Eee! Hoy! Hee! -Hee-ho. -Hee-ho. MmMmMm. -Yo-ho-ho. -Yeeeee-ho. -Yee-haw! -Hmm! -Na-hee-haw! -Heh-heh! Da-hee-haw. -Da-hee-haw. -Ah-hee-haw. -Da-hee-haw.
