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(soft music) - Oh my God. I love being here so much. Whenever I'm out here, I just feel so alone and honestly quite like cut off from the rest of the world because this plot of land that I bought is quite remote and it's quite rugged. And it's amazing to feel this way. Like I feel like I'm the only person in the world sometimes, but obviously there's some drawbacks to living in a place like this, you know, safety wise. If something were to happen, and I try not to think about that too much, but if something were to happen,
there's no easy or obvious way to get out of here. You know what I mean? Over the last couple of years, every time I've come up here, I've had to like trek on my own two feet and I lost count of how many times I've hauled gear and groceries up the side of the mountain, just me and my two legs, which has been amazing because I love being up here because nobody else comes up here because why would they? But things are about to change a little bit because I'm about to. I'm about to get a new friend who's going to help me with all these kinds of things in the future. In fact, I'm looking at him right now. You wanna see?
(soft music) Ta-da! I got a UTV. (upbeat music) So this is my Polaris GENERAL 1000. These things always have such epic names. I never thought I would ever get a side-by-side, but here we are. This guy is pretty powerful in tough terrain and thanks to the cage, also pretty safe. Obviously I bought it secondhand, not new, like all my vehicles. I forget which year it's from, maybe 2021 or 2019, something like that.
Anyway, the most important thing is that it does its job. It honestly took me forever to finally decide to get one of these. I had to like mature into this decision because at first I was like, no, I can just walk or I can just like use, I can maybe get like a small, cheap four by four or something like that. But this is so much more versatile and so much more like useful even when it's wet outside, when it's muddy, you know? It's perfect. Vilk, how do you like it? You wanna get in the back?
Yeah, not in here. This is the driver's seat, buddy. Come, you can get in here. Yeah? Well, come on, get inside. There we go. Do you like it? (laughs) The first time I actually got to drive this thing was last night when I had to transport it from my friend's place to my place in the complete pitch black across the mountains. All right, let's take her for a little test drive. Seat belts. Safety first. Thank you very much. Oh my God!
(soft music) I know we call them boys toys, but I reckon they're just as fun for girls. Definitely feels a little terrifying to drive this thing around. So if you own a side-by-side and if you have any tips, let me know, please. Let's go.
This UTV is literally a life changer. I can actually move in properly now. Like move in all my stuff. So happy. (soft music) I've been too lazy to get my proper mattress out of the shed. And I've just been sleeping on like an inflatable camping mattress, which has actually been quite nice, but it is time now that I've got my couch back
in the tent, I'm to move in properly for the rest of the summer. This thing is so happy though. (grunts) (soft music) My friends recently tried to, you know, matchmake for me and hook me up with one of their friends who was a really nice guy. You know, funny, handsome, mature, responsible, all the good stuff. We spent a couple of nice evenings chatting by the fire and I felt like I should really like him, in that moment. And I just didn't. And it's not because I didn't like him.
I think it's because I just feel so good being here on my own. Like I am just so in love with the solitude of being here that I can't really imagine sharing it with anyone else. Is that weird? I know, I know, this isn't like travel content. It's not technically camping or outdoorsy content because I'm talking about love, my love life or the lack thereof, in a conventional way anyway. But I wanna share it because it is a part of kind of my experiences right now and that's what I wanna be sharing with you guys, in case anyone else feels the same way.
Like having pressure from all around to be in a relationship of some kind and not actually wanting one. So this is the little inflatable mattress that I have been sleeping on. I'm gonna deflate it, put it away. I'm gonna sleep on this bad boy. (soft music) Vilk, you wanna help? Yeah, you wanna help? You are such a good dog. Yes, let's try it out. Yes, it's comfy. Yeah, it's comfy. (laughs)
The craziest thing about all this is that it feels to me like almost wrong to want to be alone because I think a lot of us are taught that if you end up alone like in your 30s that there's something wrong with you, that you're broken in some way, that you are like a loner, that you're different, all these things, and it's almost like come to be this accepted truth, this like absolute truth that we need to be living as a couple. Like, that you always need to have a partner with you. That's how you are a complete human being. So it feels a little bit wrong of me to want to be on my own.
It makes me feel strange and different and a bit weird. Like am I wrong for wanting all this freedom and all this solitude all to myself? You know? I don't know if you've ever loved something so much that like you don't even wanna share with anyone else. Is that a selfish thing to say? But like to me being here and being this free, coming and going as I please, furnishing my tent as I want, actually sleeping in my tent and not having to deal with someone complaining about it being hot or cold or wet or uncomfortable or there not being enough power or, you know, all these things, like it's just me.
I'm the only one that's responsible for being here and that feels so liberating. Why would I wanna share it with anyone? Like why would I let anyone spoil my fun? Plus this mattress is so freaking heavy. I can't imagine anyone wanting to sleep on it. No bounce. It's like a wooden plank. Seriously. (grunts) Not very comfortable, but it's good for your back. (soft music) "Don't you get lonely up here," is one of the most common questions that people ask me when I tell them I live alone in the mountains.
The truth is, no, I don't get lonely but I also have friends here who live nearby and friends who visit. Over the years I've come to value having friendships with like-minded people over a single romantic relationship. I've got a friend visiting tomorrow, so I need to build a bench so that we can sit in front of the fire together. And in order to build a bench we need some building materials so we're gonna go to the forest and get them. Let's go. (upbeat music)
This is our spot. (chainsaw buzzing) (soft music) So I've been using these little concrete blocks under to like make a bench, but I really hate the look of them. I think they're just so ugly which is why I wanted to have an all-wooden bench. So we're gonna get rid of these and put the new ones,
put the new legs on the bench. (soft music) Okay, that was really easy. (laughs) That was so easy. Amazing. You know what, just for stability's sake I feel like I should put a couple of screws in here just to make sure I don't fall off. All right, let's go ahead and do that. Oh by the way, I guess I haven't really shown you guys my dog house or rather this is Vilk's dog house, which is incredibly ornamental, very extravagant looking.
It's all like wood and it's carved and it's handmade. Probably one of the most extravagant things I've ever bought, and of course it's for my dog. Obviously Vilk sleeps in the tent with me, not in the dog house. He only uses the dog house to like rest in when it's a really hot day. I don't tie him up or anything. He's free to go in and out as he pleases. You wanna go to your dog house? You wanna go place?
You wanna go crate? You wanna go dog house? Good boy. So when I bought the dog house I got it off of like the local version of eBay, and honestly like I didn't really look at the pictures very closely, I guess. So imagine my shock when the dog house arrived and it took up like the entirety of an entire like cargo van. It was so huge and so heavy. So yeah, that was a bit of a shock, but I'll tell you something that wasn't a shock. What a wonderful way to segue and say thank you to the partner of today's video, Surfshark VPN, because with Surfshark VPN whenever I buy things online, whenever I do any online transactions or access my online banking,
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at checkout for four extra months of Surfshark VPN. All right, happy browsing. (soft music) (drill humming) (sings) It works. Actually, the screws are sticking out a little bit because I didn't have drill bits long enough for this job so I'll have to get some tomorrow and fix this, but yeah, it's already so much better than it was. I love it, I love it, I love it! (soft music)
So over the next few days I had one of my closest friends visit me right here on my land. Samaya is such an incredible, powerful, genuine person. She happens to be from Yemen but she's been a nomad for many years now and we have so much in common. We're both basically feral women who love being out in the wild and both of us revel in solitude, though obviously we love spending time together too. We chatted so much and even recorded a little podcast which will eventually go on Samaya's channel. Here's a quick teaser.
- Like we see how the world is kind of dominated by men in many sectors, and women, maybe only in this age that we get to do the things that we're doing right now, like before that this wasn't even possible for many women. - Yeah, exactly. - Yeah. - It's almost like whenever I catch myself thinking about like the freedom that I have living this life, living in my tent on my own land that I bought as a woman, something that wasn't possible for women for so many centuries, you know, I feel the power of the generations of women before me who couldn't do this. I feel their energy, I feel their anger, I feel their desire to live like this and I know that they couldn't.
So in a way, the pushing of the boundaries, like living wild, like I do this because I can, to almost avenge history, you know? And I think to a lot of people like your life seems a lot like very radical, very wild, very feral, right? But that's the whole point, like we want to show that this is possible that we can do this, and yeah, and in a way make up for all the time that has been lost through the generations. - Yeah and it is also kindling the bravery to just be ourselves. - Yeah. - Like for example, well, somehow I just woke up and I saw that I don't live like how these people live.
- Yeah. - Like I don't really enjoy what they enjoy, I don't understand what they complain about and it feels like I'm in the wrong place and there's something missing this journey of being lost and then when I found what I really love, I realized that it is frowned upon. - Yes. - I'm like, what is this luck? - Yeah. - Like why? - It's just so frowned upon and unusual they look at you like this animal, you know, sort of. - Yeah. I didn't really film much when Samaya was here because we just had such a great time being offline, but one of the coolest things that we did while she was visiting was that we built a fridge, an underground fridge together, and this is it.
So it's basically a clay pot that we buried in the ground that acts as a fridge and it keeps things cool. Oh yeah, buddy, I know, yeah, I know you know that there's food in there, of course. So I keep things like cheese in here, all kinds of different cheese, yogurt, butter. Honestly, it works really, really well. This is my little keepsake from the time that Samaya was here, to always remind me of her visit. So Samaya and I talked a lot about solitude. And I have some interesting thoughts that I wanna share with you on that. But first, we're gonna go find some mushrooms because it has been cold and rainy here, which is not very pleasant. But it does mean that there should be mushrooms around.
So let's go and get some. Hey, buddy, you wanna come? Well, let's go. Come on, let's go. (laughs) (soft music) This is what I call Mushroom Hill. There's usually a lot of like parasol mushrooms growing on there. I don't really see any right now. Did you find any mushrooms? Come here. Where are the mushrooms?
This is what we're looking for, but this is obviously an old one. Not a single mushroom on Mushroom Hill. Can you believe it? I feel like I should rename the place. So I have this theory, right? Hear me out. Whenever you think of like a woman living on her own in the woods, like without kids, without a family, without a partner, just like her and her dog or cats, like that woman living alone in the woods is like a witch.
And we have so many stories about witches being like evil and wicked and villains, basically. And I feel like a lot of those stories about witches have seeped into like our general overall way of seeing women who live alone as people that are not to be trusted, people who are weird and strange and different, maybe dangerous. And I know this may sound far-fetched, but I really do feel like these stories that we're told as children stay with us on some deep subconscious level. And that's kind of how we end up, at least in part, defining the adult world that we end up living in. Witches, bad. Witches living alone in the woods. i.e. women living alone in the woods and women living alone, by extension, bad.
You follow my logic? Maybe extroverts are the ones that end up writing history. And maybe that's why our history doesn't like hermits and loners. We kind of demonize them. We see them as eccentric, maybe a little dangerous. We assume that somehow they've been expelled from the rest of society. Buddy, that stick is way too big for you. Come on, let's go. Really? Come on, let's go, let's go. Come on. You got your mega stick?
Okay then. Come on, let's go. You're nuts. You are nuts. But as most modern hermits know, we like to be all alone not because we're maladjusted or dangerous, but because we find peace out there in our solitude. This is where our thoughts can calm down, our batteries recharge, and everything makes that much more sense for just a moment.
Not a single mushroom. I'm guessing maybe it was too cold last night. Not a single one. Okay, since I didn't manage to find a single mushroom today, we're gonna go with plan B, which is, as befits a witch, I am going to make nettle soup. Yep, nettle soup. Never made it before, so we're gonna grab some nettles and then ask Uncle Google how to make nettle soup. (upbeat music)
Okay, so we have a little problem because apparently all nettle soup recipes call for a blender. As you can probably imagine, I do not have a blender here. However, I have just looked up some alternatives and apparently a stinging nettle salad is also a thing, believe it or not. So that's what we're gonna make today. A stinging nettle salad, that hopefully is not going to sting my mouth and my organs. So the first step is separating out the leaves.
Obviously wearing a pair of gloves. Although nettles things aren't technically bad for you, but obviously they're not very pleasant either. And then we're gonna put it all in like water and vinegar and just let it sit there for a while. I have no idea. Let's see. So I guess going back to that whole kind of question about solitude and loneliness. You know, I don't ever feel lonely out here because I love my chosen solitude. And perhaps it's because I chose it for myself. The things that we choose for ourselves I feel like taste sweeter than the things that are imposed on us by external circumstances that we have no control over. And I chose to be here alone.
Maybe that's why I love it so much. Our society has a tendency to vilify people who want to be alone. You know, we call them loners, we call them weirdos, all these kinds of names. And I used to get called that when I was a kid, and I didn't always have friends. I changed school so many times when I was a kid. And honestly, perhaps it stems from that, this love of solitude, the fact that I'm finding so much peace in solitude right now that, you know, I am away from the need to please anyone, even though I make videos for the internet. But it's not the same. I feel like I don't need to please anyone on the internet.
You know what I mean? I just make videos because I love making videos. I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone is different. And if you've ever felt like you wanted to be alone, but you got made fun of for wanting to be alone, just remember that you're not alone. I get you. And I bet that there is so many other people, so many other people that get you too. We are a little tribe of loners. I wanna reclaim that word. Yeah, I'm a fricking loner. I feel good about it. (soft music) So the recipe says that in order to make the nettles not sting, you have to kind of gently rub the leaves together
and get rid of the little hairs on them. So apparently the nettles need to be dry in order to make the salad, but that is not easy to do when you're outside and it's a bit of a windy day. No, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop. They just keep falling off. No. (light music) Stay, stay, stay. Don't fly off. No, no, no, no, no. No flying off.
The good news is that the stinging nettle is no longer stinging my hands. I can touch it quite comfortably, which is exactly what we wanted. Here it is, a stinging nettle salad. Is it going to sting my mouth? No stinging. It's quite good. It tastes like, quite bitter, like a very wild kind of forest leaf with a little hint of bitterness, but it's not overwhelming. It's really quite nice. I feel like you could use stinging nettle instead of like lettuce. I mean, I bet that a little leaf like this that has grown in the wild all of its life has more nutrients and good things in it than like store bought iceberg lettuce.
You know what I mean? Mm. It tastes wild too. (soft music) I know that it can be scary to be alone. I know. I know that it can sound terrifying and overwhelming to be in places like this, just you and your thoughts. We don't always love our thoughts, do we? But for those of us who relish the silence and the solitude, I see you. I feel you. And for those of us who don't, just understand that this is our happy place. This is my happy place. And no, I am not lonely. I love this.
