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Come here. There we go. It's my birthday tomorrow. And I've been known to cry on my birthday. I feel like every year on my birthday, I have a depressive episode. And I'm not being dramatic. I'm not just throwing around the term depressive episode. Like, I fully have a depressive episode. I wouldn't say that happens every single year, but it's probably happened for like 10 of my birthdays. I don't know. There's something about my birthday that just makes me depressed. It makes me uncomfortable because I shockingly don't like being the center of attention. I don't like when people go out of their way for me.
Like I can't remember the last time I had a birthday party because the thought of people clearing their calendar for me. The thought of people getting an invite to my birthday party and being like, "Gh, I don't really want to go to this, but I guess I'll go cuz like I need to be nice." The thought of that I just can't handle. And so I'd rather just not have a birthday party. I can barely even remember the last time I did anything fun on my birthday. I really don't celebrate my birthday. It's just not my thing. But to be honest, I'm sick of it. I really want to enjoy my birthday this year. And listen, I'm not throwing a party or anything. I don't even really know what I'm doing tomorrow
to celebrate, but I just don't want to be depressed tomorrow. I don't want to experience the existential dread that I normally experience on my birthday. So, I'm really trying to start it off on the right foot. And today, my birthday eve, I thought it would be a positive, uplifting activity for me, to make myself a cake. Uh, let's make a plan. First, we need to figure out flavor profile. Let's think. Almond, like extract, that type of stuff. I like lemon. I like vanilla. Actually do like peanut butter. What else? I like berry flavored stuff. What are like cake flavors? I guess I like chocolate. I'm not like No. Yeah, I like chocolate. I'm not like obsessed with chocolate though. Like I'd rather do something more vanilla. Okay, I'm
crossing this out. I don't want that. I also don't really want to do peanut butter. I'm more in this world. Okay. Well, this is actually kind of great. These flavors all go together. Like I could do a lemon berry cake with almond vanilla frosting. I could do a lemon almond cake with vanilla berry frosting. So, okay, we're I feel good about flavor. Now, we need to discuss design. What is this cake going to look like on the inside? Okay, I think we're going to do cake frosting cake. Now, the question is, do I do a three layer cake or a two layer cake? Uh, I say it and do a three layer cake. Kind of fun, but
that's a lot of cake. Three layer is so much more impressive. Actually, I'll do three layer cake. Frosting and then cake. Now on the outside we have more frosting. I honestly think for the cake maybe like lemon almond. And then I think the frosting on the inside should be vanilla berry. And then I think the frosting on the outside should be just vanilla. And what color should it be? Okay. Now we have to pick out the color because the outside like you know you want it to look cute. What comes to mind immediately is like mint green. You know what? Mint green with red writing.
I love a pop of red. I love minty green with red. It's like a cool vintagey vibe. So, it'll be mint green for This is going to be so much work. It's totally fun. I have nothing better to do today. Classic piping around the top and bottom. I just like love that look. Classic piping. It's my plan. Now, let's make a grocery list. 99 59 999 5.99. I guess let's just do this thing then. Okay. The cake recipe and then the frosting. We're going to go like this and trace around. We need little circles. There we go. There's like going to be like 15 sticks of butter in this
cake. So, if it doesn't taste good, I don't know. I am a little bit frightened that I forgot an ingredient because I made this like whole elaborate grocery list and then I forgot it at home. Also, I'm a little concerned because the recipe calls for 8 in pans and my pans are all 9 in. So, I'm hoping that doesn't become an issue. This is such a messy experience. Baking is very me. Oh, too much. I need to be more gentle. That was kind of hard. Hopefully, it gets easier from here. This flour I'll use in the cake.
Can I get this into here? That's fine. Okay. Now, I'm going to put these in the bottom. I'm like kind of tempted to skip this step cuz it's kind of high maintenance, but I think it will add flavor. How do I put this thing on? How does it work? How do I lock the bowl? Ah, voila. Sorry. Okay, that's good. The recipe calls for some chopped almonds on the bottom of the pan. Now things get real. Oh, wait. I need an apron. It's my cheese apron. What are we doing? Come on. 342 baking soda. Baking powder. Half teaspoon salt. Boom. That was a little bit heaping. Whisk. Wait, I actually need to think about this. My butter needs to be soft and my eggs need to be
room need to be room temperature. Honestly, it's so hot out right now. It's like 85°. I'm going to put the eggs and the butter outside for a little bit cuz it's so hot out. I'm getting over a cold. I had a horrible cold last weekend. So, no one should be eating this cake but me because I just coughed into the bowl. I haven't opened a carton like this in like 15 years. So, vintage. Buttermilk. Cup and a quarter of buttermilk. It calls for vegetable oil, but I feel like if I use olive oil, it'll taste better. People love olive oil cake. I love olive oil cake. Should be fine. It should be fine. Okay, it's
telling me to do half of a teaspoon of almond extract. I'm not going to lie. I might do a full teaspoon. Sorry. Whoops. Where's my lemon extract? Where is it? One tablespoon. I know I should wash these. I have to wash these. Okay, hold on. It did not sound fun to wash them, but I'm glad I did. My conscience feels better about that. I don't know what the best way to do this is without almost grating your finger off. I keep almost grating my finger off. I feel like whenever you zest citrus for a pastry, like it has to be good cuz it's so high effort. I mean, this is going to be like a chic cake. I hope my workspace is not
looking good right now. It's a mess. I'm shockingly type A in my life. Like, I'm very organized except for when I'm cooking. This is unlike me and it makes me uncomfortable, but I just can't do it in an organized fashion. I just can't. Approximately 14 cup of lemon juice. Fresh. 1 and 1/2 stick of butter. Okay. Add eggs one at a time. I'm moving it closer to us. Oh my god, I spilled my lemon extract. I'm a mess. I need help. Okay, wait. I need to fix this situation. It's too messy in here. A little bit here. Okay, I need to keep cleaning. Looks kind of gross to be honest. You know what? I think my butter isn't melted enough because it's kind of just sitting there in a big ball. But there's kind of nothing I can do about that now. So,
whatever. I just wanted to see what would happen. A little more of this. It's starting to look like cake. It looked chunky for a sec, but the chunk has subsided. So, I think you might be fine. Most people would reach their finger in there and taste the batter. Not me. Because I don't want to get salmonella. Unlike you freaks dipping your finger in there. No. It honestly looks good. There is not enough batter for three. I barely have any left. Yeah. I mean, it's going to be like a pancake. I guess it's a two layer cake then. Sorry to who I've disappointed. We'll see. Look, it's so shallow. Oh my god.
No. Oh my god. You guys, something bad happened. This is crazy. Oh my god. This is a catastrophe. I forgot to add the sugar. Wait, where was that? Oh my over. I have to start over. I forgot to add the sugar completely. I was supposed to whip the sugar into the butter. Oh my god, I have to start over. Oh my god, I'm so upset. How did I miss that?
Oh my god, should I just quit? I'm not kidding. Should I quit? I'm thinking about it. No, I can't quit. This sucks. Okay, start over then. You know, I mean, baking is just so high effort and to like make a mistake like that, that hurts. Like, I'm sad. But you know what? We shall not give up when things get tough in this life, it must motivate us to get back up and try again. And that is what I'm doing right now. But my goodness, it's tough. Like I kind of want to go to a local bakery right now and pick up a cake. But where's the character development in that? That is lazy. I am not lazy. I am
going to do this right. Okay, I'm calming down now. Wait, now I'm in a good mood. Yay. No, I'm kidding. I am still pissed, but I'm coming back. I'm feeling better. I'm not even measuring this time. Oh, I didn't put the blade in. Okay, I need to relax. Maybe I can be, you know, even more efficient this time because I've done it once before. Now we can start this again all over again. Yay. I actually kind of remember the recipe. I'm like doing it by heart. Okay, I should actually be looking because otherwise I'm going to it up all over again. The sugar is going in. No problem. I remember everything's fine. It's going in now. I cannot believe I forgot that. I cannot believe it. It's actually crazy. But
let's move forward. Come on. Let's move on. Let's stop talking about it. Doesn't matter. Now, this is the part I was dreading. I really don't want to zest the lemon again. I don't. That was my least favorite part, and I have to do it again. Oh, I have to add oil. I can start adding eggs to this. I'm multitasking a little bit too much to the point where it's like frightening me. Ow. I grated my thumb. I have to do some food safety real quick. Yay. Okay. It actually looks so good. Look. Um, I'll show you later. I can't show you right now. There's a lot going on. I'm going to eat every single last bite of this cake. Not one bite of it will be wasted because of how much work
I'm putting into this. It looks amazing, though, to be honest. It looks delicious. Looks good to me. Oh my god. Wow. We're back. Wow. The batter feels so nice compared to how it did before. Sugar is a beautiful thing. really changed everything. I guess batter looks gorgeous and fluffy. I really want to try it, but I'm not going to cuz I don't want to get salmonella. But I just know that I really want to try it. Wow, my counter is disgusting. Now we try this again. And it fits in three. I'm done. Yay. We did it. We're back to where we were. Wow. One mistake really can set you back. I need a break. Yeah, I need a break. I need to go sit down. Actually,
to be honest, there's no time for that. I need to start the icing, but I'm like emotionally in a fragile place, to be honest. I'm in a really fragile place. I deserve this. Oh my god, I broke it. No, but not really though. Wow. cake. Okay, I left my frosting in the fridge for too long and now it is really cold. It's rock hard. Um, I'm just hitting every roadblock today. I swear.
I guess I'll go put the frosting outside for a little bit so that it warms up. Oh my god. You know, I think you're not supposed to put buttercream in the fridge. I don't know why I did that. That was a mistake. Okay, you know what? In the meantime, I'll prepare my fruit for the filling. No problem. See, my attitude has improved since the incident. Everything's cool. Nice and thin. I'm going to be honest, it's still a little bit hard. Let's see. Nope, too hard. Maybe I'll warm some up. Sounds like a bad idea, I know, but let's just try it. I might have to make a new batch, to be honest.
Okay, I think it's fine. If anyone has ever made you a cake from scratch, I want you to text them right now and say, "You are the greatest person alive." Pause the video and do that. If anyone's ever made you a cake from scratch, cuz this is the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't know why, but it is. It's so hard. Okay? So, text them. What? All right, we lost a little bit of cake. M. Oh my god. Yum. That's a little bit of foreshadowing for me of what the final cake will taste like. I've watched so many baking shows, like baking competition shows. I have a
brand new sense of empathy for those people on those shows. I mean, they've had a lot of practice, so they probably don't forget the sugar like I did. That's kind of a rookie mistake. I don't know if that's even a rookie mistake. I think that's like just a lack of common sense altogether, which is super disturbing. Okay, so this one, the almond crust ripped off as well. But that means I get to eat it. It's sad that didn't make it on the cake. This is like the best cake I've ever had. What's happening? Really, what matters is that it tastes good. And it does taste good. I think I need to make more buttercream now. I mean, maybe I have enough for what they call a crumb
coat. I'm just going to go very gently. Just going to do a nice thin layer. Okay, now I need to do the sides. Like, what is the best practice for that? I could Google it, but I'm kind of in the thick of it right now. Like, I don't want to Google it. I guess just like kind of packing it on. That's good. That actually is kind of working. I mean, I don't know what other way there would be to do it, you know? Not too bad. We got a cake. No one can deny that this is a cake. Like, this is definitely a cake. I'm going to put this in the fridge so that it can get cold and then I can decorate it cuz I think that's what you're supposed to do. I'm not I actually literally just remember that
from watching baking shows. I don't even know if it's 100% true. I am exhausted. I am so tired. You have to be very gentle as to not destroy the structural integrity of the cake. This part is anxiety relieving. This is soothing. No, Dean. No. Hey, the top looks pretty fabulous. There's uh six sticks of butter in this cake. Six. How does that make you feel? Makes me feel a little concerned, but overall pretty good. But that is a lot of butter. That's a little bit too much butter. That it like I don't think you know what I mean. Six sticks of
butter. Eek. That's a lot. Wait, I just realized it's not my birthday today, so I can't eat this until tomorrow. Oh, okay. Well, I'm taking my time, which is something I have a hard time doing when I'm like working on a craft of sorts. I tend to rush things a lot. I think that's why I messed up with the sugar today. It's kind of an arm workout randomly. It's very Pilates. Subtle but challenging movements. The cake is lopsided and it's looking more lopsided by the second. Not to the point where it's going to like fall over. So, I'm not going to worry about it. I'm not okay. That looks great. I'm super happy.
Yay. I put it back in the fridge for a second. I am allowing myself one cheat. I made everything from scratch except for decorating. I allowed myself to get pre-made little decorative little squeezy things that come with tips that you can screw on. Like, listen, am I proud of it? No. I don't know what I'm going to say on it. I might just say happy birthday. I was thinking about saying something funny like happy birthday, I guess, or something. But it's like what? I'm going to do white piping around the bottom to start. See, it's nice. It's subtle. Okay, white piping's done. Looks kind of to be honest. I need to write happy birthday.
Ooh, this is scary. Should I practice first? Yeah, I should. I'm going to get a piece of paper. Oh my god. Imagine if it fell off the table. I would I don't know what I would do. I don't think either of us want to know what I'd do. Okay, this icing is kind of hard to work with. Or I'm just bad at this. All right, I'll just take it slow. I was like, let me get a piece of paper to practice. And then I practiced for one second and did a bad job. Now I'm like, let's just hit the cake. But I can always wipe it off technically. Okay. Happy birthday. Nothing complicated, but I am going to try to do cursive, which I can barely do when I'm writing regular. So, let's see. I'm not even getting
everyone be quiet. Everyone be quiet while I do this. Oh my god. I'm not breathing. I'm not breathing while I do it. Oh my god. Stop. Oh my god. well. Oh my god, it's so in the wrong place. It's okay. It's charming. Yeah, it's a little bit crooked. These do not look good. I'm trying to put little flowers on it, but they look like I have these little almond cookies. What do you think Congratulations. Thank you. Another year to That's so good. Yum. That's like perfect. That's a great cake. I love it.
Okay. Wait. Now I want to bake more cuz I'm happy about my result. Can I have an apple cookie? Mhm. Are they actually nipples?
