Interests Unfair and Why It Matters

You know that feeling when you discover a new hobby and it suddenly becomes your whole personality. You study it at 3am, watch all the videos you can find, and buy all the equipment. You are convinced that this is it. You finally plan to do something on a regular basis. And then, two weeks later, things are gathering dust in a drawer, and you don't care anymore. Only to repeat the process a few weeks later. So in this video, we're going to break down the neuroscience of why this happens. But more importantly, I will share a paradigm shift that completely changed the way I look at my own obsessions. And unlike other videos, I won't tell you to just be consistent or practice tiny or atomic habits. So let's begin.

How does something go from being something you only think about to something you don't care about at all? The mechanism works like this. In the beginning, you are constantly discovering new things. Each question leads to another, and if you learn a skill, you really see yourself getting better over time. This gives you plenty of reasons to come back. Dopamine plays a role here, but contrary to popular belief, dopamine is not a pleasure chemical. It actually helps you have the drive to achieve your goals. Because the desire to pursue something and the enjoyment of that thing are not the same thing. For me, it was definitely the keyboards. I had a period of keyboard obsession: I would spend days watching

YouTubers, comparing switches, listening to typing sounds, and there was always a new part to explore or another keyboard that could be better. And some of my custom keyboards literally cost over $300. And every time I was convinced, " Okay, this is the one. This is the perfect keyboard." And then I found another one. But eventually you watch the video, you understand the difference, and the discoveries become less, especially if it started as an obsession. That is, you may still like the activity or topic itself, but the attraction is no longer as strong as it was in the beginning. This is especially relevant for people with ADHD, because there's a concept called the "interest- based nervous system "-a way to describe how things like

interest, novelty, challenge, and urgency help us engage. Even realizing the importance of something is sometimes not enough. That is, you don't have to have ADHD to have this drive, but it is more common in people with ADHD. And that essentially explains how this interest-based nervous system led to my obsession with keyboards. And the funniest thing is, I don't even like typing now. I dictate everything by voice, so I don't even touch most of my keyboards, and God knows how much I've spent on that . What worries me most is not the obsession itself, but the inner voice that after each such obsession, when you lose interest, says: "Well, here we go again. I couldn't finish anything again. Like, I gave up on everything again. Why am I

doing this?" This is the same negative inner voice that sits in your head. And that's exactly what I want to question and change your attitude towards it. I think we're looking at this wrong. Usually, when this topic is discussed, the advice always revolves around how to be consistent and how to not give up. But I don't think that every hobby you have has to be something you do every week for the rest of your life. For example, let's take running. We have this idea that to consider yourself a runner, or when you tell other people you're a runner, they ask, "How many times a week do you run?" But why is a week the yardstick by which we measure it? Why do I have to

do something every week to even be eligible to count myself in this category? Because, in my opinion, we really need to look at things through the prism of all of life. The unit of measurement is not a week, but a lifespan. Even if I don't run for the next 3 years, I won't necessarily think, "Oh, I quit running again. Although I want to get back into it." No, I can start running again later and still consider myself a lifelong runner. And this doesn't necessarily mean that I have three different hobbies and I alternate between them. Rather, I have 20 different hobbies, I choose what I want, do it, and then I can get tired, choose something new, or go back to something I've already learned a little bit. The point I'm

trying to make is that if I don't do something now, it doesn't mean I won't do it again. That doesn't mean I gave up on it. If you look at my life as a whole, I'm actually doing this. Does this make sense? So when I get passionate about something, I don't immediately think about how I'm going to keep doing it forever. I'm curious about it now, so I want to explore it now, so I'm doing it. Personally, I find it harder to force myself to do a little every day when I'm not interested than to spend a few hours when I'm inspired. You know, when you ask people how to keep from quitting, they usually say: "do a little every day so you don't lose momentum."

I actually tried to do that and even advised it to others, but now I don't agree with it. Because for me, doing something a little bit every day is much harder than fully immersing myself in something for a short time, taking a long break, and then coming back. Maybe it's because of my ADHD, but I see myself more as a sprinter than a marathon runner. When I'm curious, I can dive very deep. I can spend whole days intensely doing just this one thing for a short time, and then take a long break. I will do something else intensively and then rest again, instead of doing a little bit every day. Therefore, I would rather work in such periods than try to evenly distribute my efforts every day. Another point: these hobbies do not exist completely

separate from the rest of your life. Sometimes one thing leads to another and opens up new possibilities that you would never have thought of otherwise. Many people feel guilty about changing hobbies, interests, thoughts, or views, but change is an integral part of life that allows you to discover new things. For me, it all started when I became obsessed with watching makeup tutorials in English. I watched makeup videos for 6 hours every day. I watched YouTube 10 or even 11 years ago, I was obsessed, and it allowed me to speak English fluently, even though that wasn't even my goal. But after consuming such a huge amount of English content, I began to become fluent in the language. And it also allowed me to create a YouTube channel

because I was obsessed with watching makeup videos. I started my first channel, and it was about makeup, even though I was terrible at it. Over time, although it wasn't in English at the time, a few years later I started this YouTube channel in English, which eventually became my main job, where I'm kind of a blogger. So you never know which hobby will open the door to the next one. I couldn't sit down at the very beginning and say: " Okay, I'll watch makeup tutorials, then I'll speak English fluently, create a YouTube channel, host it in English, and so on." I had no idea that all this would happen. I just followed what I was interested in. And if I hadn't allowed myself to explore it because of the thought, "Well, I'm going to lose interest in this soon anyway

," none of this would have happened. So creating my YouTube channel was one of the best decisions of my life. Steve Jobs talked about how he took calligraphy classes because it seemed interesting to him. And years later, he used this knowledge in the typography of Macintosh computers. At the time, he didn't even know that he was learning something he would later need to design a computer. So when we study something and then quit, we feel guilty. But you actually gain a skill that you can use somewhere completely unexpected. Or you meet a lot of different people through a hobby, in real life or online, and that person introduces you to something else. There are so many things that can happen that cannot be predicted in advance. That's why

I think it's important to experiment with your own interests. You will learn what is generally available to you. But the thought that "I have to be consistent," "I have to keep going," "I should never give up" is what prevents us from exploring possibilities and experimenting in different areas of life. Okay, quick question. How many business ideas that came to you at 2am were never implemented? Because with ADHD, the problem rarely lies in the idea itself. The problem lies in its implementation. These are settings, choosing a theme, product, and creating descriptions. And by the time your store is ready, the excitement has already faded because you are already looking for something new and more attractive.

Therefore, today's sponsors are Buildurstore and Otodys. Buildurstore uses artificial intelligence to create a store for you on Shopify. All you need to do is connect Shopify, choose a niche, and in a few minutes you will have a professionally designed store, already filled with products. Creation is free, so there are no barriers to getting started. And then Otodys takes on the boring and routine work: searching for trending products and automatically fulfilling orders. Of course, this is not magic money from thin air. You will have to promote everything on your own. You need to do marketing. But this is exactly the stage at which most of us give up. So I want you to go to buildurstore.ai/reohana and start a 3-day trial of Otodys for just one dollar.

Thank you to Buildurstore and Otodys for sponsoring part of this video. Okay, you might be thinking, " Is this serious?" Do you recommend throwing away the old one every time you get a new hobby? No, that's not what I meant at all. What I'm actually saying is that you can try something on a much smaller scale. By the way, in the book "Tiny Experiments" the author writes about this very thing. The point is to choose something small to try for a period of time and use it as a learning experience, rather than immediately deciding that it has to become a permanent part of your life. So, let's say you're interested in video creation and a career as a YouTuber. The idea of being a YouTuber somehow appeals to you.

Instead of suddenly deciding to become a YouTuber and buying all the equipment, you can commit to making one video a week for the next four weeks. And based on the results, on how much you enjoy the experience, you can decide if the idea of becoming a YouTuber is really as appealing as it seems. You don't have to decide that you're going to become a YouTuber and agree to it before you've made your first video. And no, I'm not going to advertise my course on YouTube or anything like that, but you know, about a year ago or even earlier, there was a period where I was teaching a group of students how to grow their YouTube channels. And one of the things that often happened was that people would come in with

the idea of becoming a YouTuber, but the reality of what it was and what daily actions were required to do it turned out to be completely different. They had a misconception about what it was like to be a YouTuber because they had never made a video. And when we started making videos and I gave them homework, they said, "This isn't as fun as I thought." "I don't actually want to become a YouTuber." And I tell them: " Yes, it's not for everyone." Maybe you just don't like this lifestyle. You may not like what you do. "And then they say, 'But I bought all the equipment.'" Now I have to become one of them. We want to avoid this because it costs you not only time but also money. So first you have to test it for a while. And during this time,

let's say, if you don't have equipment, you can film on your phone. If you want to shoot with a camera, you can rent it for a short period of time. And then, if you really enjoy the experience and want to dedicate yourself to it, you can do it. Did you actually enjoy doing it, or did you just like the idea of it? And even if you don't want to continue, you'll still learn something. Maybe you'll use these skills later. You might just realize, "Okay, this is n't for me." You will learn something new about yourself. So now I look back at the random hobbies I had in the past. I no longer see them as past failures. In fact, it's all those skills and areas of interest that coincidentally came together and opened up new future opportunities that I did n't even

know existed. It's so interesting when an old chapter of your life suddenly comes back, and you're like: oh, I know that. So, of course, if you have the funds and the time, I don't think you should feel guilty about it. Try something new and experiment. If this is financially draining for you, use the small experiment method. Even if that's not enough, another option is to wait 1 to 3 days before buying all the equipment and fully diving into the business. So, if you are doing this for fun, this method is quite sufficient. But if you want results, and you're constantly grabbing for new ideas and every time you see something shiny new, you change all your plans and never move forward- then the strategy we'll choose will be

completely different, because this one was just for hobbies and fun. I'm often asked: as someone who is used to fast paced, has scattered attention spans and " shiny new thing" syndrome, how do I achieve results? While I don't achieve absolutely every goal I set for myself, I would say that I have a pretty good track record in completing tasks and achieving my goals. I do this based entirely on the fact that I am a sprinter by nature, not a marathon runner. So when I have an idea, an interest, or a goal that I want to achieve, I dive deep into it and work on it very, very intensely. For example, when I decided to become a YouTuber, I created videos, constantly thought about them, wrote scripts for whole days, from the moment I

woke up until I went to bed. Every free hour of my time was dedicated to YouTube. Some might say that this is not very stable, that we should move more slowly, perhaps allocate two hours or so. But no, for me this is a much more dangerous strategy, because the assumption that my interest will last a long time is false from the start. So as long as there is interest, as long as there is obsession, I already have a strong incentive to act, and I know that this drive will soon disappear. So I put in my best effort at the start, instead of hoping I can evenly distribute my motivation throughout the month. If, say, I give myself a month to achieve a certain goal, to move very intensely and in a specific direction, and not just, you know, burn out. I'm trying

to figure out how to get the same result in half the time, or even faster. Let's say my goal is to get 100,000 followers in a year, my question is: how can I achieve this in 6 months, in 3 months, or in a month? And while this may sound too intense and unrealistic, there are actually several reasons for this. The first is that it forces you to prioritize. Often, if you have shiny object syndrome, you have a bunch of ideas, you discover new things and you want to try this, try that, you hear something, you see something. There are many possibilities that you may want to explore. If you do that, you are simply wasting time, and that interest, that short period of time that you should have used wisely, will be wasted on some nonsense. So, you won't get good

results. But by cutting your time limits in half, that is, by setting yourself a very short deadline, you force yourself to prioritize, because now you have a filter through which you can filter out the unnecessary. You always ask yourself: will this action bring me closer to my goal? If not, you just throw it away, because I've come to realize over time that the trick is more about subtraction than addition. Anything that doesn't bring you closer to the specific goal you want to achieve is a distraction. So you let it go. The second reason is that you shorten the feedback loop. It's also about getting rewards as soon as possible to cement the habit of completing things.

This way you create a positive feedback loop. The delay between performing an action and receiving a reward or feedback is actually very important, because distant rewards are less motivating than those that can be received more quickly, especially in ADHD. Remember social media. They are designed so that the developers studied the mechanisms of operation of slot machines, where the feedback cycle is very fast. Every time you scroll through your feed, you take a real action and instantly receive a reward . That's what we're trying to achieve, to create the same obsession and the same period of intense focus on the task. For example, in a study or project, you may work for weeks before you see results. So I want to consciously shorten this gap, instead of

expecting myself to be motivated when the reward is months away. And for me personally, receiving a reward feels much more valuable. For example, achieving 100 thousand subscribers in 3 months, as I did, is much more enjoyable than in 12 months, even though the result is the same. You appreciate it so much more, and it increases your dopamine levels so much that you keep working harder and harder. This is how I stick to many of the habits I developed as a person with ADHD who never had any habits, because nothing in my life becomes a habit. Every case remains as difficult as the first day. But it's the reduction of the feedback mechanism that helps me keep going and maintain interest over the long term. Another reason I like the

sprint method so much is that when I usually give myself a long deadline, not only do I not achieve my goal, but I also tend to act slowly because there is no sense of urgency, there is no quick enough feedback to move forward, so I get bored and I just waste my time. And because I feel guilty about not doing it, I also don't explore new things. So I'm just wasting my time. But of course, some goals are too big to accomplish in a single sprint. In this case, I set myself smaller and more frequent tasks within the framework of a larger goal. I don't necessarily make the overall goal smaller, but simply set specific results to achieve along the way, instead of waiting until the very end to feel successful. Also, I don't rely solely on intensity and

sprints. I also add elements of novelty. This could mean that while working on something, I can explore new areas. If I'm too into weightlifting and want quick results, I can go to a new gym, buy a class, or train with friends, right? I always add an element of novelty, as this is the part of the nervous system that responds to stimuli. Novelty and urgency are two main things. So I try to add these elements to motivate my brain to keep working. I also don't think buying something is automatically bad if it's affordable and actually helps with the activity, but I have So a rule is clearly needed here. For gear over a certain price, wait a day or three before buying to see if you still want it, instead of ordering everything at once as soon as

you feel excited. Sometimes, despite all this, I lose interest even at the last step. That's when I use the " body-doubling" method and accountability. For example, someone working next to me, or someone I have agreed to report to, right? Am I doing what I planned? In fact, body- doubling and maintaining accountability to other people is much more effective than you might think. Wait, this is where the community in the Kaizen concept comes to the rescue. Having people to work with and report to helps get through these final steps, which can be difficult. In fact, this community, accountability, and working together on tasks-it's really hard with friends because you can't always be interested in the same things

. Since you are friends, you don't really hold each other accountable, at least in my experience. So I'm working on something that will help us move forward, stay consistent and accountable to get things done and keep doing them. This could be in the form of collaboration, accountability, perhaps workshops or various challenges that we will host. I'm still in the process of creating this and will launch it next month. So I will provide more details later. And if you purchase my Kaizen system right now from my link bridiethompson.com, which helps people who struggle with procrastination, inconsistency, and lack of persistence, and introduces the frameworks we use to change your thinking and work with the way your brain is wired instead of constantly

fighting it. If you purchase this system now, you will receive a big discount when I launch the community next month. I'll leave the details below if you're interested. And if you feel stuck in life but can't figure out why or what your problem is, I have a free test that will help you identify the period you're in, what's holding you back, and personalize and adapt strategies within a few days. If you're interested, I'll also leave a link in the description below. I hope this video helped you change your mindset about quitting and staying consistent. I wonder what was the last thing you quit and now you think, "Oh, I didn't actually quit that." I had a period where I might go back to it again. Let us know in the comments below. I like and

reply often, so please share your thoughts. See you soon. Goodbye.