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I have reached a place where I'm looking forward to it. It's imminent. I definitely feel like it's in the near future. It felt like it was the right time for me to tell the full story in my voice. Um you know, being on television, doing a reality show, you're getting parts of your life and it's edited down and it felt like the audience really doesn't know me as well as they could or should and it felt like the right time. I think more than anything, I want people not to feel alone. You know, this was a deeply personal experience writing this book and I think when you speak very honestly and vulnerably, it resonates with people and I'm hoping that the reader
resonates with the book and the honesty and also, you know, somehow maybe feels encouraged to live their life very honestly and you know, um with courage and strength and transparently. I feel like there was probably every chapter that I was mulling over and um you know, the interesting thing is that when you're writing a memoir, you know, as I said, it's so deeply personal. You're going back into memories, but you're not just reflecting on memories. You know, when you're writing a book, you go deeper and it really gave me a chance to live in these memories with thoughts um that I haven't done in many years. And I think with that, there's a freedom and I felt it and even though I was hesitant or fearful or emotional
writing certain chapters, inevitably, once I was finished, I felt better. I felt more free. There's something pretty spectacular about putting your heart and your soul onto the pages. And I feel like that's what I did. Well, don't forget, I only wrote this, you know, this was I was writing during a very difficult time with him. But, I made a promise to myself. If I was going to write a book, I was going to be very honest. Um and the truth is, when I'm talking about moments that were exactly as I described them, they weren't in moments where I was angry or resentful or hurt. And it didn't feel fair to tell a story that wasn't accurate.
Even though here I am years later and going through an acrimonious divorce while I was writing this book, and it felt like a struggle, believe me, because not only you have to go back to these times that are reminiscent of very happy times, and then you think about your life where you are, and it's soul-crushing. But, I felt like I needed to be true to the story, um which was a promise I made to myself and the reader. And I did it, and that's why I not only still hold all of the words that I said, but that is the truth, and that is the story. I do. And I think I've also realized, you know, along with many other things while I was writing this book, um I think you can have more than one soulmate.
I really do. Um I don't feel any different than I did then. I think if anything, I'm more convinced of it. I have two incredible children that I could not even fathom not having them. Um and yes, you know, PK very much felt like a soulmate. In fact, I would even say, um you know, 2 years ago, I would never ever have an imagined that PK and I would not end up together. So, since life, you know, has a way of throwing curveballs and I think, you know, um as I touch upon in the book, you know, resilience and navigating difficult, challenging moments in your life is part of the journey of life and I think you come out stronger and better and wiser. And I'm sure it'll be the same with this journey as well. Things are
definitely ever evolving. Um unfortunately, we've had a theme of going forward one step and back nine. And I'm really hoping that moving forward, we can get into a nice rhythm where we can be reminded of what's really important because that to me is the most important thing. So, fortunately, my children are still, you know, young enough where they don't have social media, they don't have phones. I'm one of those mothers that is, you know, phone and that's going to come as late as I can probably push it. But, you know, Jagger is now 12 and a lot of his friends have phones and social media. So, I'm on the cusp.
Luckily, up until now, um I haven't had those conversations. But, absolutely, we have a responsibility, you know, as public individuals. Um this is something that again, I can only control, you know, myself, what I do. I can't control what PK does. Um and I've reached a point where you have to just deal with whatever you have to deal with at any given day. And I know I love my children more than anything in this world. Um, I will always be there to get through everything with them. So, whatever lies ahead, we will get over it. We will get through it.
I'd like to um You know, when I was writing the book as well, I was thinking about that, you know. Um It's really just a fine line, isn't it? Because my children as they are now, they're 10 and 12. So, I can't even imagine them picking it up and you know, reading it. However, they will be adults please God, you know, um sometime soon. I mean, I'll blink even. So, it's really going to be up to them. I won't push it on them, but if they're interested, yeah, absolutely. I have reached a place where I'm looking forward to it. It's imminent.
Um, I've spent the last couple of years mothering really hard and being very protective over them, you know, while I was processing everything. And it hasn't been easy at all. And I think that there's always a time and a place. I didn't feel ready. Not because I wasn't over PK or you know, my focus was where it needed to be. And unfortunately, you know, if you're if that's where your mind is, then you don't have the head or the bandwidth to be looking for something new or to be out there. But now, it feels like it's been a couple of years. Um, I think that it's a very important part of this journey and I definitely feel like it's in the near future.
