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For me, ADHD medication is not really so much a health issue. It's like a choice between being yourself and being effective. I'm doing well with the medication, but I don't feel like myself. And without medication, I am me, but I can't accomplish anything. Both options are, in essence, complete chaos. So if you're thinking about starting medication or are already taking it and wondering what will happen if you quit-this video is for you. First, I have to be honest about the medication, because the first time it was just incredible. My head went silent for the first time in my life, and I literally burst into tears. How much pain I felt, knowing the peace that everyone else has-it was so strange that I actually felt sad for
a few weeks. And judging by your comments, I wasn't the only one. So if it's so good, why would anyone even want to quit, right? Because for me, that first silence didn't last very long. Over time, the medication seemed to be working less and less, and we even increased the dose twice. But at higher doses, I felt my heart beating too fast, which scared me, considering the heart problems in my family. And my mood was really bad. I took a break for a month, and when I started again, I felt that they helped much better, but there was no longer the same silence as the first time. Many people say, "Oh, you're just used to being functional, that's why it seems like the effect isn't the same anymore." But this is not true, at least for me, because I recorded my working
hours, and from the numbers I could clearly see the dosage, the amount of work done, and the amount of time worked. So for me it wasn't just " getting used to it". And it wasn't a complete adaptation of the body either. There were days when everything worked well, and there were days when it did n't work at all. At some point I even started thinking: "Maybe they're giving me a placebo for an experiment?" But that was not the case. But really, the main reason I stopped drinking them was what they did to me. On the medication, I had this window, a few hours, when I could do anything I wanted. And because I knew this window was short, I guarded it like crazy.
Like, I don't want anyone talking to me or interrupting me. I don't want to see anyone, just leave me alone to do my thing, okay? That was my attitude. And if I pointed that window the wrong way, the day was wasted, because I could clean the closet for 7 hours straight while the medication was working. And because of this fear of wasting the day, I became very cold towards the people around me. I almost became a robot, and I definitely felt like I laughed a lot less when I was on the medication. People around me told me I was being abusive, but I didn't notice it until I stopped taking them because in my head I was just trying to get everything done while the medication was working. And then there 's this rebound effect after the medication.
When the effects of the medication wear off, you feel so tired and lethargic that you don't want to do anything, let alone socialize. So while the medication is working, you want to be productive and get everything done. And when they stop working, you become like a zombie. So, you simply don't have time for socializing or people around you. And this is a big problem if you have a family or work in a team, this is a significant disadvantage that accompanies such a condition. And then there is the issue of creativity. You know, I'm a YouTuber, a content maker, I make a living by creating videos. But when I was on medication, I had a really hard time coming up with ideas. So even though I could get more done
when I sat down to work, I couldn't generate ideas as easily. My head is usually a mess. Like, there are different things going on there at the same time. It's quite exhausting. But there are also 10 different ideas coming up at the same time, so I could sit down and come up with an idea right away, and then three different ways to present it, a thumbnail, a headline, etc. They're all hanging out there somewhere. But this didn't happen when I was on medication. Also, sleep was a problem for me. Usually people say they have trouble falling asleep on medication, but that wasn't exactly the case for me. I could fall asleep and stay asleep for over 9 hours, but the quality of my sleep suffered. When I tracked my
sleep quality with Woop and compared the days I forgot to take my medication to the days I was on medication, my sleep quality was significantly different, and it also affected my HRV and resting heart rate. So, if you care about that, this is also one of the tradeoffs worth considering. Also, making sure you take your medication every day is another big task. Although, I think once you're on medication, it gets a little easier over time. It was really hard for me in the beginning. I wasn't even sure if I accepted them. So sometimes I would take a double dose, and it was crazy. I was shaking all day. It was a very bad experience. And, in fact, it happens much more often than you might imagine. Because remembering this is exactly what we
struggle with the most. So it's quite absurd that we still haven't found a cure for this. If there was a monthly patch that I could go to the doctor for, have them put it on me, and it would work for a month, that would be ideal, although it would probably be difficult for me to get to the doctor even once a month. So I don't know. Getting prescriptions is also a huge task, because you have to go to a psychiatrist, renew the prescription every time, and that in itself is a big problem. That's why many people I know stop taking their medications precisely because of the prescription renewal process. And there's a bit of ego here too. I still haven't accepted the fact that I need it to function because I lived without it for a long time and survived, but
at the same time, when I take it, I feel more like a responsible and functional adult. And when I don't take them, I'm a chaotic impulsive friend who's fun to be with, but, you know, from that person's perspective, it's not so much fun because you have to deal with serious consequences and problems every week. So I still haven't accepted the fact that I need them. I'm better with them, I can't do without them, but I still have to overcome certain difficulties. There is also the issue of ego here. I'm not going to pretend like you wouldn't judge someone who takes diabetes medication, so why should you judge someone who takes ADHD medication, but in reality, I might be judging them too. But this is my personal problem. You know, I want to be honest about
this. I know it's wrong, and I know we shouldn't judge people, but I'm very critical of myself. So I just want to be upfront about this. Take everything you need. I don't care about that, but specifically about myself, I'm very self-critical. And I want to be honest about this part because I feel like no one is talking about it. Everyone acts like everything is great, but I really felt guilty every day I hosted them. I thought, " Wow, I can't function properly in modern society without taking this damn pill." And that hit my ego hard. So I quit. What happened after that,
huh? I wish I could tell you that I got my life back and everything is much better, but no. Somewhere within the first month, I would say, I was extremely unproductive. I was so unproductive that it seemed to be hurting my channel and business, so I was rethinking my decision every day. It was so tempting to start taking the medication again because I knew that at least, despite the severe anhedonia from the medication, I was a little more productive. So I thought about it every day. You know, every day I had things I wanted to do, but forcing myself to actually do them was so terribly difficult, extremely difficult. Especially when you compare your baseline when you're on medication and when you're not on it, the baseline is here, right? And then you
compare yourself to that level. But when you already know that baseline, now you compare yourself to it. And I also became more impulsive, bad habits were easier to pick up and much harder to stop. It was so hard to stop. You know, I started drinking a lot more alcohol, and when I was on medication- although you shouldn't mix it with alcohol- one glass of wine was enough for me. And now it's so hard. It's so severe and so noticeable that people around me were worried about it, like, "Oh, stop drinking." "You drink too much and too often, you know?" Even my doctor told me to stop. That's the level we're talking about. And I also started drinking a lot more coffee. I am very concerned about the amount of caffeine I consume. It's like
self-medication, right? It's like you're replacing this medicine with something else. And I gained weight because when you're on medication, your appetite is severely suppressed and you're so focused that you don't care about food anymore. And many of us actually eat to get dopamine. We are so bored that we want stimulation from food, and that's exactly my case, because I actually get full very quickly. I do n't even really like to eat, if you think about it, sometimes I'm even too lazy to eat. And I even forget to eat sometimes. I skip meals, like, "Oh, it's lunch time." He was like, "Oh, I completely forgot about that."
I don't even know what time it is, do I? But when you stop taking the medication, you lack that dopamine, and you try to get that stimulation from everywhere: alcohol, coffee, food, uh, dangerous, reckless driving. All of these things are attempts to find that dopamine you're missing. And, in my opinion, it becomes extremely difficult to train, especially if the gym is not near you. If you need to go or get somewhere, in my opinion, it becomes almost impossible. There were days when I physically went to the gym, right? I would start lifting weights, and in the middle of the process I would think, "No, I can't do this," and I would drop everything and go home.
This never happened when I was on medication. But now that doesn't happen to me anymore. Maybe it was a phase where I was adjusting to life without medication. So, I don't know. But when I was on medication, if I decided to do something, I could do it immediately. And without medication, it's very difficult to predict what I'll do. I don't even know what I'm going to do. So, to fix this now, because the trips to the gym, the commute back, and so on-that's a lot of steps and a lot of things I need to organize. I actually run a lot more often. And the reason is that I put on my sneakers and just go for a walk. And when I walk, I reach a point where I have to return home. But I don't want to walk because it's so boring, the scenery changes too slowly, and it
doesn't stimulate me at all. And using public transportation is another thing I just hate doing. It's so noisy there, a lot of people, scary because of strangers, in short. And I don't want to call an Uber because it's also expensive. So I have to run back. This is a way I found to stay fit, healthy, and get my workouts in. So I've been Here's some advice for you, if you want it. And routine-it's extremely difficult, because if you have ADHD, you probably know that routine rarely works out for us Even things you've been doing for 10 years still feel like the first day. I have to convince myself again, and again, and again to do this thing. And, honestly, it never becomes automatic. Even taking a shower, even brushing my teeth-every day it feels like a
huge effort I have to make just to do it. And when I ask people without ADHD, they never understand it. So when you stop taking your medication, the routine you thought you had established instantly disappears. Yes, this, in my opinion, is one of the biggest and most difficult problems, because then your life can literally fall apart. When I'm off medication, I self-medicate. Caffeine, alcohol, stress eating. And when I'm on medication, I'm like a zombie. I feel severe anhedonia. Nothing brings joy, but I am productive. So what is more useful?
Honestly, in my opinion, at least for me, it's neither. Both options are, frankly, a complete mess. And none of them actually cure your ADHD. ADHD is a lifelong struggle to deal with, and it is, in my opinion, extremely debilitating. I think it all comes down to choosing the problems you are willing to put up with. This is something I wish I had known about earlier, because no one warns about this. You choose not so much the medicine as the price you are willing to pay. And which price is worse depends largely on you. The first factor is your type of ADHD. I have an inattentive type. Although I also have hyperactive tendencies, and sometimes I'm very restless, I still lean more towards the inattentive type. It's not that I'm hyperactive and
constantly interrupting people, but rather, I'm often lost in my own thoughts. I often daydream. It's like I'm not around. Also, a big problem for me is starting tasks and switching between them. And my close friend is the complete opposite. She is extremely restless, doesn't know how to listen, listens to half of a sentence and thinks out the rest in her head. Honestly, she's much easier to communicate with on medication, and I don't think I could have handled her without medication. I saw it, and it was so chaotic. We couldn't even hold a conversation. For her, the medication is definitely worth it, although she also often complains of anhedonia. But when she doesn't accept them, it's extremely difficult to even talk to her. So this has a very big impact
on her daily life. Therefore, she is ready to put up with the disadvantages of treatment. So, if you don't know what I'm talking about when I mention ADHD types and you're wondering which ones you struggle with the most, I have a free test in the description below so you can find out what you struggle with the most and what type of ADHD you have. So check it out in the description below. The second is what you need medication for. Is it to calm down? Are you extremely restless? Are they needed to listen to people better? Or to help you with your business? Or, you know, you're very impulsive, you never think about the consequences before you do something, and it leads to big problems in life? So what exactly is bothering you? And the third is how your
work is organized. Of course? If you have a predictable schedule, like 9 to 5, then I think medication can be a great fit because you know when the afternoon slump is coming, so you can plan your intake time and you know when you're done with work. But if you have an unpredictable schedule like mine, where you can work until 1 a.m., then the medication can be quite difficult because you get an afternoon slump. So, how do you need to work after this recession? This is extremely difficult. So, you know, if you have a flexible schedule, then stimulants may not be the best solution. There are alternative non-stimulant medications that work for 24 hours.
I am currently on my first week of taking tramadol. I haven't seen results from non-stimulant medications yet, so I can't speak to that yet. But when it comes to stimulants, which is what people usually mean by " ADHD medication," it can be very complicated. Plus, if you're studying medicine or law, or working in a very busy office, it's worth it. The fourth factor is how rich your social life is. If you are married, have children, your work is related to people, or you are, for example, in sales, then irritability becomes not just a side effect, but a serious problem that is worth thinking about. It also depends on what stage of life you are currently in. If you need to focus as much as possible, you don't have time to socialize, or you have major
events that need to be dealt with, then this may be appropriate. But I don't know. For me, the compromise and anhedonia were so severe that it was reminiscent of my depressive period. Of course, it is not officially stated that they cause depression. I don't think it was depression. It was more of a feeling of anhedonia. But, of course, always consult your doctor. I am not a doctor, so always consult your psychiatrist. I'm just sharing my own experience, okay? But that doesn't mean I won't use them in the future. I think when my life circumstances change, I might try them again, or maybe there will be new medications that I want to test. So what if you don't
take your medication? If you decide not to use medication, I don't think it's right for everyone. The thing is that ADHD is more of a dysfunction than a disability. This disorder strongly depends on the environment: study, office work, constant deadlines. Many researchers consider this a trait that becomes a disorder when conditions do not suit the person. So when you change your environment, implement systems, have support, the degree of your maladaptation changes. You remain with this disorder, but the level of its impact on your life changes. So, instead of talking about disability, it's better to think of it as an impairment. At different stages of life, you have different levels of these disorders. And that's a great analogy that helped me a lot. So, the
biggest turning point, the biggest tangible effect that I felt, was the medication itself. When I organize my life a little better and have healthier habits, the level of violations decreases. This doesn't mean that ADHD is going away, because it's not going anywhere. And when I try to set up systems to manage my life and constantly adapt, even though it's exhausting, because I find living with ADHD exhausting. I've already come to terms with this. The level of violations is decreasing. And, in my opinion, this is an important analogy to understand. But medications have their drawbacks. So, depending on the degree of impairment, this is a decision you should make together with your doctor. But, in
my opinion, we live in a wonderful era that I'm really excited about, because now you can automate a lot of tasks, to-dos, deadlines, and administrative minutiae that we're bad at with the help of AI. So he actually helps me a lot. You know, some people are against AI, and I understand that, but I'm personally very much in favor of it because it helps me get so much done. I'm essentially shifting the workload from my brain to AI to focus on what I'm really good at, and letting AI do all the tedious work Even for shopping, I can literally ask for my Muse. By the way, Muse is one of the tools I'm testing. I can literally say, "Oh, I want to buy this."
Can you search? And he can find the right things for me and even order them. So it's almost like having a personal assistant. By the way, this is not a sponsored advertisement. I don't know. After experimenting with AI, I can definitely say that my life has become a little easier and I have more time for my own things, but still, in my opinion, living with ADHD every day sucks. I think the world is really not designed for our brains, but maybe that will change soon. Who knows? So yes. This is actually where I am right now. I am testing a non-stimulant medication option, but it takes 4 to 8 weeks for it to start working. I've forgotten to take them for so many days in a row
that I don't even know what day it is. It should be somewhere between the seventh and tenth day. So the effect hasn't started yet, but we'll see how it goes, and I'll tell you how my brain and my functioning are changing. If you're thinking about starting or stopping medication, please do so with your doctor, okay? Don't stop on your own. And if you are taking medication and it is helping you, I am sincerely happy for you. This video is not at all against medication. Maybe I'll take them again sometime in my life. And if you're curious about how to turn ADHD into your advantage, watch the following video. Of course, this doesn't mean you'll cure your ADHD, but you can change
the level of impairment, as I said. See you in the next video.
