12:19
you suck at cooking yeah you totally suck today we're making a chicken salad sandwich also known as tuna of the land salad sandwich chicken salad is a great thing to make for corporate Gatherings or to celebrate the death of your loved ones making chicken salad starts with chicken you can use any kind of chicken you want including farm raised chicken you can use foraged chicken you can use porridge chicken you can use hoer chicken or you can use Mordor chicken my brushes I'm using regular chicken which I'm going to pat dry then season with flavor glitter and pepper then cover with a thin layer of olive oil some people think painting chicken with olive oil makes you less of an artist than someone using paint on canvas but
I'm painting in three dimensions so suck at Picasso then we'll put it on a parchment papered pan and bake it for 20 minutes on for hundo baking it hot and quick makes sure it ends up juicy as I have demonstrated previously so juicy so juicy now we're going to pickle some Red Onion which takes them from Brill pad abrasiveness to delightful sponge tastiness we'll put a cup of water one cup of vinegar a tablespoon of coarse salt a tablespoon of sugar into the lava maker get that bubbling let it cool a bit and then pour that over the onions and leave them for around half an hour or so until the red onions which are actually purple become this beautiful shade of pink just like the prophecy
foretold now I'm going to chop those up a bit more so that we don't get an overwhelming amount of onion crunchiness in any specific ific bite now we're going to dice a dill pickle if you've ever made a sandwich you know that pickles are an integral part and if you don't know that then you've never made a sandwich you've just put some stuff together on bread with a vacant hole where the pickle should be much like the hole in your heart where your life purpose should go your life's purpose is pickles all right the chicken is done and we're going to take that out and let it cool and we'll make it cool Faster by putting it on a plate that's cooler than the pan which is called physics and
we'll make it cool faster than that by adding these sunglasses which is called rzx and we'll make it cool faster than that by taunting it which is called DX you don't even know why you crossed it do you damn it too far now that's cool enough not to melt my Forks I'll start shredding it exposing as much surface area as possible okay we're going to start combining the chicken with the other ingredients including the main ingredient Mayo now you don't want enough Mayo to kill a horse but you do want enough Mayo to give a horse nightmares meaning mares of the night meaning the horse could trade the Mayo for H never mind we'll add some more pepper but we're going to hold off on additional flavor glitter
since we put a good amount on the chicken and now for the part that really elevates this chicken salad sandwich to the next level seasoning let's go to my seasoning cabinet and I keep forgetting how white I am hey man um do you have any spices I can borrow like anything with flavor maybe chicken salad sounds good I assume all right we got some smoked papra sounds interesting let's add half a teaspoon I guess we got some cumin whatever that is I love the color let's add a whole teaspoon and we'll just wangjangle that all together now we'll add in those diced pickles and also the pickled red onions careful not to have any pickles touch the pickled onions so the pickling doesn't cancel out and we'll wangjangle that all
together now when I taste something my genetics always send a signal to my brain telling me more mayonnaise and that signal is always correct and now we're going to get a slab of bread and spread that chicken salad on to the bread transforming it from a salad into a sandwich as if by Magic throw that other slice of bread on top give it an angle cut by pressing not sighing like I am and that's the chicken salad sandwich now I always give credit where credit is due and this would not taste nearly as great if it weren't for the spices hey man I just want to what how cumin deficiency
