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Whether someone works in sales or not, why is it important to have sales skills? Everyone thinks sales is a job when in reality it's a set of skills. And yes, you can monetize that skill set very well, but sales are a way to have better relationships, better friendships, and improve how you talk to yourself in your own mind. Like when you overcome your own objections that tell you, "I'm not good enough." "I don't deserve this." Uh, to make you truly believe that you deserve a better life in every aspect. So, for me, sales are freedom, because I wholeheartedly believe that if you teach someone, specifically a woman, how to sell, she will never be broke again for the rest of her life. There's always something to
sell. Your things, other businesses, and not just on the money side, but it also changes your friendships and relationships in every facet of your life. It allows you to gain control because, if you want to be good at sales, you have to develop a " solve it" mentality. In other words, you simply have to solve it. And your mindset is like, "If someone tells me no, that 's fine." "Everyone is going to tell me no." "I'm just going to keep going through no, no, no, no, no, until I get my yes." And that kind of mindset that sales teaches you will make you successful no matter what you do. Yes, I don't have a sales job, but the amount of things I constantly have to present, share, and communicate is incredible; Every area of our lives is a
sales job without us even thinking about it. Something you just said really resonated with me. I had never heard it expressed like that before. You said that we even have to sell ourselves to our own minds To ourselves. Tell me a little bit about that because I've never heard anyone say that before. TRUE. Overcoming objections in sales is what scares everyone the most; They say: "Oh my God, I have to turn a no into a yes or a negative into a positive." But when you overcome other people's objections and really fight to help someone transform their life, whether it's with your own business or by selling someone else's products.
You learn to fight for other people and then you replicate it in your own mind. We all go through the same thoughts, like, "This is too risky," or "I should play it safe," or "I'm not good enough"-you know, those limiting beliefs. But you have to tell yourself, "Okay, I feel that fear, I feel that hesitation; it's negative energy." I need to turn it into positive energy in order to move forward. Then you can handle your own objections, such as saying, "I'm not good enough." And then it's like, "I understand you perfectly." "Calming, soothing." Can I question that belief? That's what I always tell people.
Whenever I handle objections, I say, " I understand, but can I question that belief for a second?" And then you question that belief with someone else, but also with yourself, if you need to. It's like reprogramming your mind: "Okay, I'm receiving something negative, but I'm going to feel it, I'm going to handle that objection, reframe it, and generate something positive." Yes. And I love that recognition that the feeling is real and the fear is there, but how do we question it? And I think you're absolutely right that most of us, if our mind tells us something, simply believe it to be true. So, if your
mind tells you that you're not good enough, you think, "Yeah, I guess I'm not good enough." Or your mind says, "No, people like you don't get to places like that." Your mind says, "Yes, that's probably true." And we surrendered. Tell me about the three sales skills we can use in all aspects of our lives to get everything we want. To know someone's advantage. OK? You can sell in sales, you can sell the same thing in 10 different ways. Tell me about that. Okay, for example, if I'm selling fitness program, I'm going to close the deal; I'm a fitness deal closer. I can sell to someone who wants to lose weight. I can sell to someone who wants to gain weight. I can sell to someone who
has health problems and an urgent need right now. And I can sell it to someone for prevention, just for general health. So there are a lot of different ways you can sell things. So, if you try to sell the same thing in the same way to different types of people, you'll only attract those for whom that influence was designed. So your job is to identify that specific influence. And by influence I mean their pain points. Each person has different pain points and different motivations for making a purchase decision. To take a step back, you need to understand someone's points of influence, what they specifically want, and what will change their day-to-day life when they make that decision. And once you find those points of influence,
that's the problem. The solution is whatever you're selling them Or you know, whether it's a promotion, or dealing with your boyfriend's objections, or literally anything. The world is about problems and solutions. And if you can build enough value around people's pain points, well, you can solve anything. Mhm. So, that's the first skill. Mhm. What is the other skill? Well, influence and then, uh, building value. If you can provide value to people, you'll never go bankrupt again. But you can also open up many different relationships because you know how to build value with people. Value is shown by addressing their
pain points, which is what they want to resolve. But it's not just about giving them a solution or reading what's included or how you're solving it. I call it selling the aroma, not the steak, because nobody cares what you're selling . They care about what that does for them in their daily lives. That's part of the solution. Then we move on to the third one, which I call the KISS method, which is to keep it simple, idiot. Life will be much better for you if you understand that people don't necessarily say no because they don't want the product or don't want to be around you or whatever. It's because you're not being clear. So, if you make your proposal clear, where someone knows exactly what happens when they hand over their
credit card, you give them a promotion, or you give them a job, they'll know what to expect. You give them clarity. And the fourth thing is simply to ask. You'll never achieve anything if you don't ask for it. I built a career based on being annoying. Literally, to sell to people you have to be a little annoying. To grow a business, you have to be a little annoying. For the content, you have to be a little annoying. But those people who break from the conventional and accept that being annoying, or perhaps a little insistent, or simply a little delusional, is what will take you to places you didn't really think you deserved. But the unexpected twist is: yes, you deserve them, because you asked for them.
Yes. Talk to me about people, and I want to address the skeptics or cynics who say, "Oh well, if I'm talking about people's pain points, then I'm manipulating them." I'm taking advantage of them. What is the difference between ethical sales, doing things the right way, and taking advantage of or manipulating others? How would you explain that difference? Of course. Everyone thinks sales is manipulation, but it 's really emotional leadership. What I mean by this is that when you sell to someone who is a qualified buyer, it means they are somewhat interested in what you are offering. They are here talking to you because they have a problem they need to solve. So it's your duty, if they don't solve their problem, if they don't, it's because you didn't do
your job. You didn't help them. So what helps with this is selling something you truly believe in. And if what you're selling is yourself, like in a job interview or talking to a friend or your boyfriend, you have to believe in your worth. That's important. But again, if you're selling something, you have to believe in the value of what you're selling because that comes through in the conviction of your voice. And sales are 80% conviction in your voice and the energy you have when you talk about your product. As I always say, people buy into your gaze and the way you convey passion when you talk about something. So, at the end of the day, it's only manipulation if you don't believe you can actually help that person. But
when you truly take on emotional leadership, guiding people through a difficult decision, you know, do I buy something? Do I not? Do I change my life? Do I get a new job? Do I join this fitness program or whatever? You are helping people make a better decision for themselves in the long run. And if you do it right, they'll thank you for it. So, it's very satisfying. What do you think is the biggest difference between people who have sales skills and those who don't? The mindset. It's your ability to give context to something negative in order to turn it into something positive within your own mind. What do I mean by that? In sales, salespeople develop this skill that makes them excellent, when someone slams the
door in your face or hangs up on you. And you say to yourself, " Maybe she was arrested this morning and she's in a bad mood." "Perhaps she just received the divorce papers." Anyway, it's not my problem. I'll go with the next person. Although that's probably not true, I'd almost call it being a psychopath, because you literally have to be a little crazy to lie to yourself and provide context for the rejection. That way you can cope with it a little better. Because they're not rejecting you, they're rejecting the moment or what you 're really selling. But it's your ability to play mind games with yourself by saying, "Hey, maybe they
just had a bad day." Anyway, I'll move on to the next person because there is someone who does want to talk to me. Even if the last 10 people have told you no, you still have to enter each conversation hoping for that yes. That level of skill you gain from sales seeps into everything. In dating, in friendships, in the way you talk to yourself. Being able to handle rejection will get you anything in life. What fascinates me is how much you need it to get promoted. Definitely. You use it to convince, as you said, even a couple to know whether to commit or not. You need it, of course, if you have a sales job. Let's review the sales process
for people who say, "Shelby, I need this advice." "I need everything you sell right now because I need to transform my life." What is the first step? So, sales as a skill set-if you want to learn a 60-second sales masterclass , here it is. The first thing you should do is establish the framework and relieve the tension. Because every time you approach a person, their resistance to sales is high. They think, "Who are you?" "Why are you here?" "Why are you calling me?" . "I feel a little strange." So a quick little compliment helps a lot, but getting straight to the point is also important.
People try to build a lot of false trust and try to be friends at first, when it just seems a little fake because they know what you're up to. You're trying to sell to them. So, a quick compliment, something super simple, and then get straight to the point. "Hey, I'm busy. I want to be, you know, very respectful of your time, too. Is it okay if we get straight to the point?" The sales process begins , it's easy. Then we move on to question-based selling. So everyone thinks you just start selling. Yes. You don't even know what you're getting into yet. So, question-based selling is about discovering someone's strengths, uncovering their pain points
. So, for example: "What made you book a call? What are you going through? Tell me about your day. What made you want to resolve something?" Then you will gather some information. I call it stockpiling ammunition that you're going to keep in your pocket to use later when selling. So, once you get these pain points from this person, that's your problem, then you move on to the solution, which is obviously what you 're selling. And you have to be very careful because what you sell is different for each type of person. So you take these specific advantage points and connect them with specific solutions that only address these points, nothing more.
Keep it super simple. And then you present the price. Very simple. And when you present the price, when you initially close a deal with someone, it all depends on your energy. If you almost anticipate an objection or anticipate a no, it will show in your energy and someone will raise an objection or tell you no. You know, the Starbucks cashier metaphor. So, when you go to Starbucks and order something, you say, "A medium vanilla iced latte." "Or I guess a large iced vanilla latte . You go to the window. What does the cashier do? They put the Apple Pay reader in front of you. And they say, 'Okay, great.'" It will be 7 dollars. "And he turns around to do something else. No options, no weird vibes. He just says, 'Here.'"
This is what it costs. Okay, excellent. " And you almost panic, searching for your credit card. You say, 'Oh, sorry.'" I should have had it ready. Here you go. "That's the energy you need when you're presenting a price and closing a deal. I mean, you have these problems. Here's a clear action plan, a clear solution. And this is what it will cost to get you there. It's very simple. Problem, solution. And I think what a lot of people forget to do is solidify the sale. You know, because a lot of people process a credit card and then go straight to completing the paperwork or act like robots and stop really connecting
with the person. Meanwhile, after you've swiped someone's credit card and after the initial close when they say yes, now you need to connect with them even more. So, a little trick I have is that you can positively project someone into the future. Which is: I'm really excited for you to get started. A lot of people like to message me when they reach their first 10k a month or lose their first 4 pounds, or whatever it is you 're selling. Would you mind keeping me updated on that transformation? I'd love to be a part of your journey. Now, someone imagines not only following the process and achieving the transformation, but also." They see you more as an accountability coach than just a sales representative.
Yes. And what's more, it really motivates them. Definitely. Because they say, "Oh, now that I've committed to this, I could really make that change." And I've committed to the process that makes that happen. "Where do you think confidence comes from? You're very self-assured. You talk about this idea of being able to activate it, like, you know, just turn it on. How do people access that? Because I think a lot of people today feel like a smaller version of themselves. We shrink back, we get shy, we get scared. Like you said, right before you say the amount, you hesitate a little because it scares you. And it's not like you don't believe in the product. You care about what you do, but you also care a little about the other
person. Where does that confidence come from? Everyone thinks you have confidence and then you do great things, when it's the other way around. You do great things. You take risks. You're scared, and then you build the confidence. I know I sound like this super confident girl, all that and whatever. But when I started, that was literally the opposite of reality. I had so much anxiety that I couldn't talk to people. Or someone would ask me, you know, 'How's your day going?'" "And I would stutter and agonize over it for the next five to seven business days. I really hated it. I was just an insecure person and hadn't done enough big things to have confidence. Then someone said to me, 'Sales will give you confidence.' I went into sales. I
literally had doors slammed in my face, the police called, I was watched-you name it. But going through experiences like that, going through what I call the chaos, and coming out the other side, not just with money to prove it, but also with confidence-those kinds of benchmarks you have where you can say, 'I deserve to have confidence because I did this, this, and this.' I deserve to have confidence because I was told no ten times in a row, and on the eleventh time, they said yes. Now I'm more confident that anyone else I talk to, if they say no, that's okay. I'll go find someone else who will say yes."
Yes, it's about doing difficult things Yes, absolutely. I couldn't agree more. Everyone thinks that you first feel safe in your mind and then you act, but it's totally the other way around. You're absolutely right. It's about taking action, doing uncomfortable, difficult, big, scary things, and suddenly, confidence comes to you. Exact. And because you have evidence. You have proof. Exactly. Yes. That's right. You have a list of things like: "Hey, I did all these things." And it's not the external achievement. It's the fact that you put yourself in that position, whether it was being rejected 10 times, moving out of your house, Mhm.
Go out there and take on a job you've never done before, step outside your comfort zone. All of that builds trust, but when someone is sitting there and says, "Shelby, I want to improve in sales." "I understand, but I just don't know how to start." What would you say to someone who says, "I don't know how to start"? I would tell him that he doesn't have to. You don't have to know how to start. You just have to do it. And by doing so, I mean that you need to learn as much as possible. And again, good for you. It's all on social media. It's right there on your phone. But number two is to start and know that you're going to do it wrong. Half of confidence is knowing that it
will be difficult at first. And you need to know that they're going to reject you. You're going to make a mistake. But the twist is that if you do it often enough and get enough practice, that's how you build real confidence. So it's not just fake it till you make it, but, well, something like that. It's like you have to believe you're the best, and then with enough data, as you just said, you can truly know that you are the best when you look back on your experience. What is the biggest difference in mindset between someone who earns $50,000 and someone who earns $500,000? That's a very Shelby-esque question. Let's start the year.
I would say exactly that. I would say that the person who earns $50,000 a month thinks they are on top of the world and that, you know, that's all there is to life. And I think the person who earns $500,000 a month knows that there are no limits. There is no limit to what you can do in this world. None. And I think that's the most important thing sales teaches you: you eat what you hunt. There's no floor, is there? But that's also liberating because there's no ceiling. Honestly, if you want to make more money, you just talk to more people and close more deals. Mhm. That should excite you. It should be like, "My God, there's all this money to be made in the world." And there's evidence
of so many people making so much money, so why not me? Mhm. That was my biggest concern. I always heard about these people on social media making so much money and I thought, "You? You make that much money?" If you can do it, I can do it. And I think that level of blind optimism is what someone who earns $500,000 a year or a month has, because it's out of reach and beyond the realm of reality. And they simply said, "I'm not going to follow other people's rules." I'm doing my own thing, or I'm doing it on my own, or I'm going to get out of this because I know I can do it. "For example, if we're talking from an annual perspective, I think the person who makes $50,000 a year sees the money as secondary, or, you know
, they don't see themselves as the business. They work for someone else. Unlike the person who makes $500,000 a year, who knows they are the business and knows that anything they do in this life will turn to gold because they're good. That's why you need high- income skills to be that person who can go into any field and produce results. Yes. And I think the truth is that high-income skills matter even when you're an employee. Because if you have a high- income skill, that person will never want to lose you. And therefore, they'll continue to invest in you and give you promotions and raises because they know they can't live without you. So, even if you're not an entrepreneur, if you're part of someone's team, you have a
high-income skill, and you bring a lot of value to that place, they're never going to take the risk of losing you. I mean, you're an employer, I'm." I'm an employer. It's like, I don't want to lose my best people. I mean, I would never take that risk. People are complicated. It's very difficult. Yeah, when you find someone who's really amazing at what they do, you invest in them. Exactly. Yeah, you want to invest in them, you want them to grow with you. It excites you as much as when you're in love, in a way, where you think, yeah, I want to see what we can accomplish together.
Exactly. But I think that comes back to the person who makes $50,000 a year and is completely content with that, just sees it as a job. And they won't go beyond what's expected. Unlike the person whose paycheck maybe doesn't reflect $500,000 a year, but believes they're in a $500,000-a-year opportunity if they act like it. And so, when you go beyond what's expected, people notice. So every ounce of hard work you put into yourself now, maybe it won't benefit you today, but it will pay dividends in the future. You just have to invest it to get results. Shelby, we wanted to test your sales skills in the room.
Okay. So, I'm going to ask you to sell me a few things. And I'm also doing some research for myself. So, the first thing I want to ask you to sell me is my wife's and my tea. This is ours. You can grab it, the drink. And well, I'd love for you to sell me this. So we can learn how to sell it better. Okay. Try it for me. Oh, yes. Okay. What do you think? It's very tasty. Okay. Why would you want.what is this? An energy drink? It's.it's a relaxing drink. It's like a balancing drink.
Okay. And what does it do for you? It helps release stress from your mind. It helps your body regulate itself again. It helps calm you down. Okay. When do you open one of these? When do you need it? I probably open it at noon. As my midday energy boost. Or like at 3:00 or 4:00 p.m. when you start to feel that slump. It has enough caffeine, the natural amount that tea contains. It's okay. Oh, wow. It's not energy.it's not like 200 mg of caffeine. It only has about 24 or 25.
I saw somewhere that tea reminds you of when you used to talk to your mom or something. Tell me more about that. Yeah. Tea was.when I would come home from school, my mom would sit me down and pour me a cup of tea, but it was a cup of hot tea. And she would ask me how my day was. And well, every day that was our ritual. She was super busy, but that was a time when we would sit together and have that moment to. Okay. So, it comes tomorrow around 3:00 or 4:00 when you have your little slump, if you don't have one of these, what do you do?
I.well, it would be kind of unhealthy. Like this is only five. what is this? Zero.it's five calories and zero grams of sugar. I would normally have reached for something sugary to put sugar in my body, something I try to avoid: refined sugar. So yeah, caffeine and heavy sugars. And when you do that, what's the result? Less energy, less motivation. You know, it's like you feel like you've been at the gym all week, but what's the point? Because you 're just putting junk into your body. Maybe more sugar spikes and then low moods and crashes. So what does that really mean for you? If you're not able to be energized or, you know, knowing that what you're consuming isn't necessarily the best. Like, what does the crash mean if you have to get
through it tomorrow? I mean, in a sense, you could argue that it is what it is. Mhm. But I think I really value being alert all the time, focused, and making sure my snacks aren't unhealthy. Right. You don't want to live a life that's just "what it is." You want to live a life where you're at your best, right? Um, So, that 's what I'm getting at: this isn't about this being an energy drink or, you know, an adaptogenic tea. It's about the impact it can have on you in your day-to-day life. Someone like you needs to be at their best, right? So my question for you is, if tomorrow you could give your absolute best for the podcast, for your job, for your clients, what would it be worth to you to
show the best version of yourself? I mean, that could probably be everything, right? Okay, I'm not asking for everything, I'm just asking for five dollars. There you go. That was really good. I love how personal that was. Yes. So, I'm glad we did it because I want a lot of people to understand that, when selling something, the wrong thing to do would have been, "Okay, great, Jay." So, this can is obviously very pretty. I'm reading that it has 150 mg of this. It's made here. It's the best quality drink you could have right now. "Buy it." Yes. I did n't know what I was getting into in this context. I don't know anything about your daily life. I don't know what you would replace if you didn't
do this. And I didn't know, obviously this will give you energy, but it's what that energy does for you, which in your case prevents crashes when you're trying to show your best self. So you really need to take a step back, get context, and ask questions. That's literally all that selling is. That's what I just did. It's just asking questions about what someone really wants and seeing if it's a fit, and I knew exactly when it was a fit because you said, "You know, I'd crash." And I don't want to crash when I'm trying to live a high-level lifestyle, right? When I run a business and have a family, right? So that's what people are buying. They're not buying what it is, they're buying the transformation. So,
your job, in a couple of steps, is one, to interrupt the pattern, which is: instead of selling directly, just ask, have a conversation. And then it's identifying the Leverage points, which I did by asking you questions. Yes. Then it's about adding value and providing a clear solution. Which is this. Um, and then also, you know, anchoring someone before lowering the price. So, what did I ask? I said, " How much would that be worth to you?" "." Probably anything goes, right? "Show your best self. Well, I 'm not asking for everything. I'm just asking for five dollars.
Yes. And that makes it a little more attainable. Yes, that's such a good demo. Let's do that with something I know less about. I want people to see that version. Oh, okay. So, maybe. a pen? Oh, yes. Yes, sure. Here you go Good. I hope someone didn't chew it up. Not me. Is that the only pen you have nearby? Do you want a nicer one? Give me all the pens you have nearby. One second. Yes, okay. We did it with a product I know a lot about. Right. And obviously that's what you want, isn't it?
Yes? Obviously you want this product, right? So that's an easy sell, isn't it? No, no, no, but I think the way you.I still think what you did was brilliant. I'm just saying you'll be good at this. You know. Yes. Let's do it again. Yes." Let's do this again. Okay. Yes. Do you have any other pens in the room, or is this the only one? That's the only one. Okay. Is that wrong? Do you want a nicer one Okay, fantastic. Step number one, create a need. No, just kidding. Oh, yes.
Um, but let's see. That's fine. That's funny. Okay. Do you want paper? I don't want you to have to write on your hand. No, no, no. This is fine. Okay. Do you want to play tic-tac-toe? If you win, yes. I'll send you $100 via Venmo. Okay. If you lose, no problem, and I'll just give you all your pens back. Okay. The only catch is, where's your pen? I do n't have any. Well, I'll sell all these pens for $5 each. I'll let you choose.
Basically, a $5 fee to make only profit and earn $100. Which do you want, the red one or the white one? Obviously, this is a joke. Guys, right? So, obviously it's a joke, but it's another concept of pattern disruption. And sometimes, when you're selling something, people expect you to try to sell a pen. When that's the whole trick. The trick is-and I'll show you a more tangible way to sell a pen after this- but the trick of the classic "sell me this pen" is that everyone wants you to start selling the pen. Right? Oh, this pen is amazing. It's all black, monochromatic, engraved with your signature right here. It never runs out of ink. It'll look great on your desk. Nobody cares about your pen. Right?
Literally, nobody cares. So, what you would do is, one, break the pattern, be different. What I just did is obviously a joke, but it's different. And then, number two, with this, I'm selling an experience. It's like, "Hey, play with me." The upside is that I'm literally sending you $100 right now via Venmo. But The entry fee. I created a need by gathering all your pens, even the ones from the other room. The entry fee is $5. Do you want to play or not? Well, obviously someone would probably pay $5 to get $100. And then, the other thing is, if you create something, make it clear and super simple.
A lot of people try to overcomplicate the sales process. It's just problem and solution. Your problem was that you wanted to play, but you didn't have any pens. And my solution was to give you back one of your pens. So, the right way to sell the pen. If someone asks someone watching, "How do you sell the pen?" "It's a trick to see if you're a skilled salesperson. So, don't do this. It's just a joke, right? But what you would do is hold up the pen and say, 'So, why would you want a pen? What do you do for a living Yes. What do you do? Uh, I have a podcast. I write books and, uh, I coach people.
Okay, you write books? Probably on a laptop, right? Everything's yeah. So, what would you use a pen for? Uh, yeah, I hardly ever use pens. Maybe randomly to sign checks, but very rarely. To sign checks. Very rarely, because now there's DocuSign, and definitely, yeah. Tell me about signing a check. Is it someone's paycheck, or is it to pay for something, or maybe it's to pay for something, but it's very rare. I can't even remember the last time I did it. And it's always one of those things where you don't need a pen until you need it, right? Or maybe I doodle while I'm on the phone.
Yeah. Sometimes I'm just, you know, playing around. So, when you're talking to someone on the phone and you try to jot down details of a conversation. I still like to jot things down. Yeah, probably by hand, yeah. Okay. So, someone calls you and gives you amazing, tangible advice for Your podcast or your next book. And at that moment, you don't want to open your notes app because you want to stay focused, stay present, right? You reach for a pen. Kind of like we just did, and this guy pops up. Yeah. He looks like this. you comfortable jotting down million-dollar tips with this pen?
Probably not the best, right Because I'm thinking someone in the office has been chewing on it. Chewing on it, right? You want to jot down million-dollar tips with a But then this pen is on your desk in its place. You know, instead of that one, which when you reach for it might have gum on it because it was at the bottom of a backpack. Instead, this pen always stays in your office. No matter what. Even though you'll probably never use it because everything's in DocuSign, when you really need it, it'll be right there. It's not about the pen, it's about the peace of mind. That when that person calls you, you won't You'll be desperately looking for another pen, it'll be right there, and you can jot down
all that advice. So, I would basically sell it like your leverage point was, I don't need a pen, but I could, right? It's like, I don't really use one, so I used the insurance leverage. You know, it's like, you might not need one tomorrow, but when you need it, you'll really need it, and you'll want the peace of mind that it'll be there. So, what did I do? I asked questions to understand the context of what you do at work, why you would want one, what the scenario would be if you had a pen you don't like versus a pen you love, and just looking at it makes you feel super confident writing, you
know, that next book, or jotting down someone's advice, or, you know, signing someone's paycheck is also important. Hiring someone, first impressions matter. So, you extrapolate whatever it is you're selling from the actual object and amplify it to something that someone actually cares about. Which for you is peace of mind to be prepared at all times. Very Okay. So, let's test you with objections. You need to know them. Okay. The first one is that it's very expensive. A lot of people think, you know, you're comparing price to nothing, right? But price is what you pay today, cost is what you pay
years later when you don't solve the problem. So, you said your business is losing $15,000 a month in revenue, right? So you don't just walk away and, you know, pay nothing. It's actually comparing, you know, a $5,000 solution to your problem to a cost of, you know, $60,000 after a few months. So, which are you more comfortable paying for, the price or the cost? Very good. Yes. That's a good one. Reframe it. Yes, yes. And it's good because half the time that person hasn't reframed it either. Very good. I need time to think about it.
Hmm. Do you need quantity of time or quality of time? Quality. It's like I really need to digest. What you told me today. Yes. I'm glad you said that. A lot of people think they just need quantity of time, like a couple of days, weeks, or whatever. But few really understand-and I'm glad you do-that you need quality time, which is the quality of the information in front of you, but also time to sit down and make a well-thought-out decision, right? I 'm the same way, but like I said, we have 20 minutes of intentional time left on this call. You're busy. I know that as
soon as you turn off this laptop, you have kids, you have to run the business, and everything else. So we have 20 minutes of intentional time left, and I have all the information right here in front of us to make a good decision And you will. But you're going to go to her with either a problem or a solution. You know, the problem of, "Hey, honey, I really want to do this, but I don't know if I should, and blah, blah, blah." Or, " Hey, honey, I found someone who can really help me solve the problem I've been wanting to." solve "." I trust this and thank you for your support. Which one do you think would work best with your wife? Probably the solution, right? Also, another technique I love, and that I
've never talked about, is role reversal. For example, if someone says to me, "I need to talk to my husband or wife," I simply reply, "No problem." May I question that? Yes, okay, great. So, instead of you and me talking, what if your wife and I talked? You know, she comes to me and says, " I'm going through this, this, and that." "I've finally found someone I think can solve my problem. I really want to do it, but I want to talk to my husband about it first." Would you support her in making that decision? You probably would, right? So, is it fair to say she'd probably support you in the same way you support her?
Exactly. And this works really well if you're talking to a woman. Instead of bringing up the husband thing, because she'll say, "Well, I don't want him talking to me, you know?" "." It works really well if you turn it around and say, let's say she's your best friend. You know, and she's here going through this, going through the same thoughts. Would you tell him to do it? You know, you probably would, right? Well, is it fair to say that other people would probably tell you to do it too? So, take people out of their own skin a little and look at the situation from an impartial, third-party perspective and say, "What would you tell that person to do right now?" Because you're
telling me you really want to do it, you'd probably say go ahead, right? Let's do it. So. Yes. I gave you two on that one. Yes, yes, I appreciate it. And now is not a good time. To talk or to make a decision about something, or I have so much to do. I have family-related things. I feel exhausted. I simply do n't think it's a good time. Can I question that? Do n't know. I simply don't know if I have the bandwidth for that right now. No, of course not. And I'll make it easier for you because, you know, the bandwidth to think about things for a long period of time on your own. That's how
stress is created, right? So I'll explain it to you. So, when you say you do n't have time, you know, to think about it and process the bandwidth. Many people think they need to be in a situation where they have every last bit of intentional time. But, in fact, the best decisions are made in the gray area. Some of the best companies started during the recession. It's because while everyone else keeps moving forward, you have to be the person who might take a step back. But while everyone else sleeps, you have to be the one to make a decision to improve. So, what do you want to be right now? Someone who just follows what
everyone else does, or someone who truly moves forward when everyone else is just moving on. Because, are you going to wait for life to happen to you, or are you going to make your life happen for you right now? And sometimes people can even take them and say: I still need time. But you've helped them think about it in a different way. So I always start every objection with I'm listening. Can I question that thought? Because it allows you to separate the objection from yourself. I'm not saying, can I challenge you? You know, it's not me against you. It's like, hey, can I question that thought for a second? And it's like, a lot of people think this, but actually this will help you get one step closer to your goal. It's like you
always need to anticipate all kinds of objections. And then, the next question is probably, how do you anticipate objections? Well, you get key indicators from someone you're talking to. So if I'm talking to a girl, we'll call her Stacy. And Stacy carries it like a big stone on her finger. I know Stacy is married, right? So later in the call, she could give me the husband's objection. Or it could be using words like " we", "when we did this", "us" . Okay, there's probably someone else in the picture who isn't on the call. I could ask Stacy, have you ever signed up for anything like this in the past? And if he did, that's fine. Was it you who made the decision, or is someone else, you know,
involved? If anyone else is involved, you need to include them in the call. But if not, easy, you simply anticipated the objection. So you always plan things out. And that's simply how a well-channeled sale works. Everyone thinks that sales is about overcoming every objection, past and present, ten times over with every customer; That's not the case. It's simply about creating a trustworthy buying atmosphere and a genuine connection with someone, and a positive energy around the sale that makes it so easy for someone to say yes. Why do you think we're all so willing to save for a month to buy a handbag but find it hard to invest in ourselves? Of course, it's because you're worried about what
others think. You are changing the perception of "how do I feel about myself?" a "how do people feel about me?". Because buying a handbag, I mean, if you want to buy a handbag, you can do it, right? If it makes you feel good, I love buying designer brands, if it makes you feel good. But buying it just for others when you have other priorities is where it becomes a problem. I never bought designer brands until maybe a year ago. Yes. Although I could have, it's just that I had many other things I wanted to complete. I wanted to do rental properties, networking events, hire mentors, move. As if there were so many other things that mattered more to me than just worrying
about other people's perceptions. Because nobody is really thinking about you as much as you think. It's a, there's a metaphor, called something like the invisible guest at a wedding. Like when you go to a wedding and you want your hair to be perfect, you're worried about what dress to wear, you're worried about the conversations you have with people. When everyone is thinking the same thing. Yes. And you'll probably never see many of these people again. So you're so caught up in your own head, but so is everyone else. And then, in someone else's perception, you are just the invisible guest at the wedding. They won't remember you.
Yes. So why worry about whether every word is going to be perfect? And you can apply that to everything. In sales, nobody knows what you're supposed to say. They don't know your script. If you make a mistake, just move on. You continue. As in this podcast, I don't want to be perfect. If it were perfect, it would be an AI. And it wouldn't be someone people could identify with. So just keep in mind that, you know, a certain respect for the fact that I do n't have to be perfect. In fact, it's better if I'm not perfect. That's what makes you human, and that's what makes your story so incredible and inspiring to others.
Yes, absolutely. And also, I feel like I guess what I was trying to get at was this idea that we don't even know what most of the people who sell us things are actually selling us. It was as if they were just selling us life choices that we felt we were making independently, but we were all convinced of what it meant. Oh, yes. And it's like, but when it comes to investing in ourselves, developing our skills, learning, it's almost as if we're afraid to part with our hard-earned money because it somehow feels like we're being sold something. Well, investing in yourself is one of the most liberating things you can do. If it's something that will give you a return on investment. Obviously there are many things you probably
shouldn't invest in, but if you have a clear goal, you should feel very confident investing in yourself if it qualifies for a return on investment. If you can be very clear about what I will get in return if I put in this amount of money, and what doors will that open for me? If you can feel good about that give and take, then you should make the decision for yourself. Mhm. And I think things are changing in many ways with younger people, because I think a lot of people love to invest in themselves. They love buying an outfit for an interview because it makes them feel a little more confident. I feel like we
're moving away from, you know, the stigma of "oh, you shouldn't spend money on yourself," right? I think we're moving away from that, so I'm very happy about this era. Fifth and final question, we ask it to all the guests who have been on the show. Shelby, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? The law that you have to use the cards you were dealt. I often see that women specifically feel bad about an unfair advantage they have received. It's like everyone has a deck of cards, right? And perhaps one of your strengths is that you have
family money. It's like you have dad's money. Dad did things very well and you have your life financially sorted. Okay, use that letter and don't feel bad about it. Perhaps one of your strengths is that you are very good at talking to people. Don't try to be humble by doing something beyond your capabilities. Take advantage of that unfair advantage and use it. Or maybe you're beautiful. Go model. Get in front of a camera and go viral. Use every unfair advantage and never feel bad about doing so. So the law would be, I guess, just.
Yeah. You know, use all the cards you're dealt and don't pretend to be humble, you know, play fair. You don't have to play fair. Nobody else is playing fair. So do what you can to make the best of the hand you were dealt. Yes. Yes, very well said. Yes, I think there are many of us who do the complete opposite. You're absolutely right Well, I see a lot of it and I think it 's great in a way, because it's like, oh, you have family money, but you want to make a name for yourself in a completely different field. That's great. But it's also true that many people have so many advantages in their favor and don't realize they have them.
Yes. You know, you have them. You 're simply not focusing on them. Or you're focusing on what's in someone else's deck. And you 're not looking at yours. And you're not doing things to get more cards in your deck. Again, develop these skills, build experience for yourself so you have more cards to play with. So I think a lot of people just don't play the game of life to the full advantage they could. Yes, very well said. Shelby, thank you very much. This is incredible. Your advice, your vision, your motivation and inspiration are contagious. And I can't wait to see many more people approach your work so they can learn from you how to sell better,
negotiate better, persuade better, get the raise they deserve, earn the money they deserve, and truly create abundance in a world where more people live more fulfilling lives. So, thank you very much. Therefore. Yes, thank you very much. Thank you. If this clip provided you with value and you'd like to see more, this next video has been specially chosen for you based on your viewing habits. I hope you enjoy it, and if you do, please subscribe to the channel so we can continue bringing you fantastic conversations.
