Race Expensive and Why It Matters

So good to see you guys. I am so excited to be just doing just this without the cinematic gear of the last few videos without the snow and the ice, just us chatting. I love this. So today's video is going to be a Q&A about the race and all the craziness of the race. We're going to talk about the costs. We're going to talk about the romance. We're going to talk about the low moments, the dark thoughts. We're going to talk about all of it. Um, all the while I pack because, um, I'm going to be leaving the Arctic tomorrow after 4 months of being here. Over on Instagram, I asked you guys to ask me questions about the race, and you asked all the questions. So, I had to whittle them down to like a

bunch. A bunch. And hopefully, they're some of the most interesting ones that most people were the most interested in. So, it's a lot of mosts. Okay. Okay, Manika is asking, "Would you do it again?" Huh? Well, if you asked Josh, who was filming me during the race, I did tell him I will never do a race like this ever again. Never. I swore that I would never do it again because it was honestly very, very hard and it was such a slog. But now, you know, like it's been a little while. In fact, two days after the race, I already started looking up more cold weather races. So, would I do it again? Yes. Not that specific race, cuz I think I'm done with that one. But I would definitely do another cold weather long distance race like that again. Should I though? Should

I? Zenith was wondering, "How did you get to film this?" Did Josh accompany you throughout the journey? So, if you've seen the film, then you've probably noticed that Josh was there at certain points, and he was there quite a bit, but he did not accompany me the whole way because he wasn't doing the race. So, he came to join me whenever he could, whenever there was like a road close to the trail, then he would drive up to that crossing and join me. Sometimes he would grab a snowmobile. So, he was there quite a bit of the way, but not the whole way. But we got enough footage to make it seem like he was there the entire time. How heavy is the sled? The sled at its heaviest weighed

about 22 23 kg, I think, with all the water and all my camera gear in it. Honestly, I felt most of the way I felt like I was taking the sled out for a very long walk like a dog, you know? That's kind of how it felt. Before I go on to the next question, I just want to show you the place that I've been staying in. It's a little cottage. Um, it actually belongs to an artist and these are some of her paintings. She's so talented. So, I've been staying here for the last couple of months, and I am honestly so sad to leave. I am not ready to leave, but it is what it is. This is the nomadic life.

I got to go. So, more questions. Let's do it. How did you train for this race? I work out about five times a week. And those workouts include long slowish pace runs plus some interval training plus strength training. And then specifically for this race, what I did was I also trained with a sled. So I pulled a sled behind me for 2 and 1/2 months, weighing about 45 kg every time, packed with firewood. You can do the same kind of training with a tire. That's what I did last year. I basically had like a harness and then I attached like a tire to the back of it and I was just lugging that around. So that was my training. But I trained all the time just to be fit and just to be able to do events

like this. So it's continuous training over the last few years. I don't know if I should show you my wardrobe. Honestly, a bit shameful. But in my defense, I have been, you know, bringing clothes in from the entire cottage and throwing them here just so I could pack them. But it is a mess. It is a mess and we need to do something about that right now. What was your darkest thought? Really good question. I think my darkest thought came in at around day seven or eight and it said, "You don't belong here. What are you doing here? This is not for you. this is for people who are better than you. And I think that was a really dark thought because I had been training for this race for so long. It had been on my

mind for so long and I really wanted to finish it. So to hear myself say things like this was really painful. And I don't exactly know how I got over that thought, but I think I just kept going until the finish line. And when I reached the finish line, I was like, well, I did it. And then the thought had to go away. You know what I mean? That would have been the darkest one. How is sleep calculated into your time? Do people cut on sleep or is it excluded? Sleep is not excluded. This is not like a typical stage race where you run a certain distance every day like everybody else and then you rest for a certain amount of hours. With this race, once the race starts, the clock starts ticking and then it's up to you where

you sleep, how much you sleep, where you rest, how much you rest. You just keep going. So, that didn't help my sleep deprivation and just how that affected my body and my mind. That was probably one of the hardest things for me. Any experience with wild animals during the race? Yes. Um, so on I think night three or four, I was walking at night and I saw moose tracks in front of me. If you know anything about moose, you'll probably know that they can be very dangerous and should be avoided. So that was a little bit scary cuz it was at night. There were fresh tracks right there. So, I was trying to be really, really careful, but no wolves and no dangerous animals like bears. What was the hardest part of the

whole race that challenged you the most? I think the hardest part of the race was the pace, the slowness of it, the fact that it was such a slog because of the sled, because of the pulk. I had to pull, you know, my entire life with like behind me, my tent, my food, sleeping bag, all my gear, everything had to be with me. So, the self-sufficiency is hard, especially with a sled, especially in the cold. And then another thing that was really, really difficult for me was the sleep deprivation. I generally like to get a full 8 to 10 hours of sleep every night. I'm pretty religious about this. So then to, you know, be in a situation where you're getting 3, four hours of sleep and you still have to be on your feet

covering a huge distance in the cold every day. That was really tough. How do you keep yourself motivated and not just give up? Yeah, that's an excellent question. I wanted to give up so bad by the end. That was really the thought that I was thinking the most. Give up, give up. Like, there's no point in you being here. Just quit now. Your life is not going to change if you quit now. You'll feel so much better if you quit now. Like, all these thoughts were in my head so much. So, it was really difficult to find ways of countering that narrative. And I think it really is when you're at the end of your wits, you're depleted, you're exhausted, you're drained. All you want is like, you know, a hot chocolate and some

rest. You really have to dig very deep. And I think for me in the end what that was just like sheer stubbornness and also knowing that if I didn't finish this race this year then I would have to come back the next year. And I was like I am not coming back again. I am not doing this race. I am not putting myself through this again. And I think that helped. I'm sorry I can't give you a more inspiring motivational mantra to use, but really it was I think just sheer stubbornness and determination. And I think really you have to find that within yourself if you're doing races like this. You have to figure out where that stubbornness and where that determination is going to come from for you in the hardest moments. I was also

really excited to see this guy. Yeah. I was so excited to see you, buddy. I was so excited to see you. You want food? Yes. You want the food? Yes. Yeah. You want your dinner? Hey, buddy. Where dinner? Where? Where dinner? There. Did it make it harder emotionally without V or was it a relief not to worry about him and to be able to focus? I originally really wanted to do this race with Vilk because I thought I would miss him, but I'm so glad that I did it without him. I found it really difficult to take care of myself in the first place. So, I don't think I would have

been able to take care of him as well. I think honestly that distance is way too long for a dog, even a very well-trained dog without rest days. You know, he is extremely athletic and very fit. We just did a half marathon today, which is why he's getting extra food and extra dinner. Yes, good boy. But I would not do that race with him. So, I'm glad I didn't have him with me. Although, I missed him like crazy. And yes, my dog eats a diet of raw meat while I'm vegetarian. Yes, we are an odd family, aren't we, free. Did you ever just physically zone out while walking at night on autopilot? Yes. I felt like I was falling asleep a couple of times while walking at night, which is not great.

It's actually quite dangerous because of the freezing temperatures and the risk of hypothermia. But yes, I definitely found myself kind of like just walking on autopilot and trying not to fall over. Not a good race strategy, I'll tell you that. So, I want to show you something really amazing. For the last couple of months, I've been staying here and here is a reindeer farm. Uh I've been staying with a Sami family and the Sami are the indigenous people of this region here in the north of Sweden and Norway. And they have reindeer. And reindeer shed their antlers naturally. And the reindeer that I've been taking care of, which I'll take you to in a few moments, well, one of them shed his

antlers while I was here. And my host told me that I should keep the antlers because this is the reindeer's way of saying goodbye to me because he could feel that I'm leaving. And I found that so touching. So now I have like an entire bank of antlers, which is really cool. So, I'm going to have to figure out what to do with these. Find some constructive use for them. You know, this is an interesting one. I suspect Josh is your new boyfriend. True. Not true. I am very happy being single. And Josh is a very good friend and a great colleague and we work fantastically together. But that's all there is to it.

I'm not interested at this stage in my life in, you know, partnering up. I'm very happy on my own living this dream. Some of you might know that last year I took a vow of celibacy and I am still very much enjoying that and thinking of extending it for another Yale 5. Okay, we're going to head outside, start packing the car, and go feed the reindeer. talk about your mental health during and after the ultramarathon. During the race, my mental health was really strugg I was really struggling. I struggled to find motivation. My reason for being there. It was really tough. It was a huge mental battle. Honestly, I was happy to be there and outside in a way, but I really struggled to keep going and keep moving forward. And then

after the race was done, things didn't really get any better for a while. For like a week and a half, I experienced really intense brain fog after the race. I really struggled to focus, to concentrate. I just wanted to like sleep and watch, you know, The Office on Netflix all day long. That's all I wanted to do. And they recently did this study with ultra athletes where they like looked at their brains and what happens to their brains after the race. It turns out that there's actually like brain changes that take place after big athletic challenges like this and basically like a part of your brain dies or something. I'm going to link up the

study. I don't know exactly what happens. # science. Anyway, there's a scientific reason for having and experiencing brain fog after events like this. So, I guess that's what happened to me. But I'm good now. How do you know if it's exhaustion that you can overcome or if it's time to quit? First of all, my rule is that if I'm just tired, but I'm not injured, that means I'm still doing fine. But I think a lot of it just comes down to experience. The more you practice, the more events like this you do, the more you the better you know your body and then you can make calls like this, but it really depends on the individual. There is no onesizefits-all solution or answer

to this question. What would be your advice to someone starting at ground zero of a major athletic journey? My advice would be start slow. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. I know that there's so many people out there on YouTube and on Instagram doing crazy things, running 100 mile, 300 mile races. I'm one of them. But everybody has to start somewhere. And it's better to start slow. Build up that strength and build up that endurance and build up the fun. You don't have to go out there and do 100 miles straight away. Leave that for later. You got to leave some fun for later. Otherwise, you really run the risk of injuring yourself or burning yourself out or finding that you don't

enjoy these big challenges. And it's not because you don't enjoy them per se. It's because you just try to do too much too soon. So, take it slow, take it easy, leave some for like in 10 years from now. Enjoy the ride. Okay, but before I head out to feed the reindeer, I just want to say a quick thank you to Jackie. Jackary has been my trusty companion for the last several years. I've used it on the road. I've used it while camping on my land. And of course, I've used it as an essential home backup tool right here at home. We're seeing more and more unpredictable weather patterns and frankly the world is a little bit crazy right now. So to have Jackaryi as an essential home

backup system just makes a lot of sense. It's costefficient. It's small. It's portable. It's really easy to use. You do not have to be technical at all to use it. But what it does is it really gives you a peace of mind in case of power outages, power cuts, or if you simply don't want to over rely on the grid. I've got the Explorer 1000 V2 here, which gives you a fantastic 1500 W output, which is 50% more than the previous generations, and that means it'll power a surprising array of household devices. Did your power go out, but you're hungry? Grab your toaster. Want coffee? No problem. Did the lights go out? just switch them back on. The Jackaryi is also really portable, safe, and easy to use. You do not have to have any technical knowhow

to get the most out of it. You can charge your Jackaryi really easily using your wall socket or you can pair it with these solar panels for a really sustainable and environmentally friendly solution. And to celebrate Earth Day this year, Jackary are offering discounts across a whole range of products all across their website. and Jackary have just launched the 2000 V2 as a newer and even more powerful upgrade. Check the description box for more details. Okay, we're gonna go feed the reindeer. I have been taking care of the reindeer here for the last few weeks. Uh feeding them every day and it's like one of my favorite parts of every day. So, I want to share it with you. They are magical, magical animals.

Whoosh. This is lyken. It's basically like candy to reindeers. Their favorite food. There they are. Whoosh. Hello, sir. mister. You are a good boy. Oh, so you're so greedy. Hang on. What about the others? Here you go. Oh, here you go. Oh, yes. You are such a good boy. You such a good boy. Go, guys. Here you go. Next question. What percentage of the race were you totally alone without any human contact around including no Josh? Most of the race, the vast majority of the 10 days that I was there, I was completely alone. There was nobody else there. There was a couple of days towards the end where I didn't see anyone. Like aside from the race crew, uh once a day more or less, there was nobody else. No people passing by on

the roads, no people on snowmobiles, just no one. It was super lonely in that way, which I don't know if that really affected me. I don't really struggle so much with the solitude, but it definitely was noticeable. You're definitely alone out there. Were there any aha moments about your personal life and goals? goals. Yes. My main aha moment was don't ever do this again. Go and do something more fun. Get more joy out of life. Yes, on a serious note, there were some aha moments, but I still need to process them. So, I'll share at some point in due course once I've digested

Oh, Kelly out there. Did you have hallucinations during the race? Yes. When it was dark, I saw dogs everywhere. At one point, I could have sworn I saw a tiny little poodle in the middle of the forest at night, and I was like, "Who would do that? Who would leave their tiny little innocent poodle in the Arctic forest at night?" And I got really angry until I realized that it was just a tree. How much does it cost to do a race like this? Honestly, the race itself is

one thing. It costs a couple of grand to enter this race and that pays for like the location, the support, the crew and all that good stuff. But for me, this actually turned out to be one of the most expensive projects that I have ever done. And it was really, really, really expensive because I, you know, I hired a cameraman to come and follow me around. We had really nice high quality gear and then we ended up with so much footage and the story ended up being so big that the editing took forever. We filmed for 14 days and then the edit of the series took about a month. So, a lot of time

and effort and manpower and woman power went into this project. And I spent approximately I mean over $20,000 on the entire thing from start to finish including you know the race, paying everybody um the edit, the equipment, the gear, the travel, all of that. And that sounds like a lot of money and honestly it is. I did not go into this project thinking that I will make money. It's not a money-making project. It is a money losing project. I went into it because I wanted to experience this race and I wanted you guys to experience this race and I wanted to create a film that was really high quality, really beautiful and that pushed my own film making skills to the next level. So that's why that film is a

little bit different. It's more cinematic. It's it's not in the usual style that I create films in. And yeah, it was definitely the most expensive film I have ever published on this channel. Will there be more films like it in the future on my channel? Possibly. But as you can probably imagine, I can't exactly afford to create films like this every single time. I mean, money is one thing, but also time. They take so much time to create. So maybe once in a while as a special flagship project I will but for now I think I just need to you know but if you'd like to support projects like this and if you'd like to support this level of film making then there is an extended version of the race video over on my Patreon page which is linked

below. So check it out. A couple more questions. Did you lose weight on the run? Yeah, I definitely lost a couple of kilograms, but I promptly put them back on because I ate like three cakes after the race. Okay, so I don't do races like this to lose weight. It just doesn't work like that. How long does it take until blisters, etc. are gone? You know, I would show you my feet because there's still like skin peeling. It's disgusting. But I won't show you my feet because someone posted pictures of my feet on like some slightly dodgy looking foot fetish website and I'm not sure if I'll love it. So I think I just need to avoid showing my feet too much in public in the future. But yeah, the skin

is still peeling. The blisters were gone within a few days. Um my shin pain is still there a little bit, but it's getting better. So yeah, takes a long time to recover mentally and physically. Well, that's it. Those are all the questions that I had picked out for this Q&A video. I hope that you got your questions answered. And if you didn't, leave your question in the comments below and I will try and answer you. I cannot believe I'm leaving the Arctic. This is my last night here. I still have some packing to do tomorrow morning, but over the last four months, I've just been here writing, writing, writing. I will share more news on that probably at some point in the autumn. But it's very, very exciting. And that's it. More adventures to come. All

right. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to leave. Anyway, I'll see you guys in the next video.