4:22
You will not believe what happened to me today. After lunch, I went for a jog in the park. Come on, Carl, you jog? Well, actually, I was chasing the ice cream truck. But as I jumped the hedge, I saw something shiny. Feast your eyes on this. Ooh. Carl. Are those diamonds real? Extremely. Ooh! They must be worth thousands. 15,450. I had it appraised. Ooh wee! It was just lying there, not a soul around. So, is it ours? Are you nuts? We can't keep this. You're right, Carl, I know we can't keep it.
Yeah, we'll sell it! Honey with 15 grand, we could take that dream vacation we always talked about. Our Caribbean cruise. You got it, babe. Won't you let me take you on a sea cruise? Forget about the cruise. Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Uh, now, mother, there'll be plenty left over. I'll buy you a prettier bracelet, less ostentatious. You mean cheaper. Now, Mama, let's not count our diamonds before they're hocked.
I have to turn this into the precinct. But if nobody claims it within 30 days, it's ours. Good. Uh-oh. Here's an inscription "To my precious poopsie." Well, that doesn't help. This city is packed with poopsies. Right. Let's go look at those cruise brochures. You still have them? Sure. I've been filing them away under "F" for "fat chance." Hello, babe. Hi, honey. Any calls today about the bracelet?
Not a one. Although I am sort of surprised. I mean, what with that big ad you put in the paper. Carl, you did put it in the ad? Oh, sure. Full page. You popped for a full page ad in the Chicago Chronicle? Well, not exactly. What exactly? It's, uh. It's in the Amish Almanac. Harriette, I'm sorry, but I really feel that we fulfilled our obligation here.
I mean, we turned the bracelet in. Now it's up to Poopsie to claim it. Carl, think about it. Right now poor Poopsie is probably crying her eyes out. Harriette, believe me, Poopsie is not poor. Well, even so, we have to try to find the owner. Then if nobody claims it, you'll have a clear conscience. Not like I did anything wrong.
My conscience is clear. Is it really, Carl? Who are you? - I'm your conscience. And I'm not feeling very clear. What do you mean? You haven't really tried to find the owner of that bracelet, have you, Carl? Well, I. Hey, Carl. Don't listen to that wimp. It's "finders keepers, losers weepers." He's got a point. Yeah, and it's on his tail.
Besides, you're a police officer. It's your duty to help people. He's got a point. Yeah, on his head. Carl, cheaters never prosper. - Sure they do. Look, wake up and smell the sulfur. I mean, you've worked hard and been honest all your life and what's it got you? A second mortgage and a $10 a day donut habit. Now, just wait a minute, bub. Hey, that's Beelzebub to you, bro. Carl. Ignore him. He's naughty. Hey, butt out! Are you willing to trade your self-respect for a Caribbean cruise?
Well. Day-o. Daylight come and me want to go home. Oh, okay, that's enough. I'm gonna try my best to return the bracelet. Way to go, Carl. CHOIR: Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.
