23:58
Thank you very much. Oh, plenty. Thank you. That's Oh, thank you. That's totally perfect. That's what I wanted. I appreciate it so very much. Uh listen, hey, I have some friends here. I went back to the riff raff room to say hi because we have the overflow of people that don't make it in. And I have uh I have the uh the birthday girl who came for her birthday to see me and someone who came all the way from Australia to see me. And so I said, "Well, come on." And I'm sure a lot of people back there
going, "I have a story, too. I didn't get to you." And I'm sorry, but I just wanted to do what I could. So I So welcome to the inside here. It's nice, huh? Yeah, it's cooler temperature and all then over there. Uh, okay. So, I don't know if you've been watching the show every day. I hope you do. I hope you watch if Yeah. Okay. If you didn't, I don't know. If you're not watching the show, you need to get on the love train. I'll tell you that. Uh, we had a magical week last week. Literally a magical week. We had magic on the show. We had Hans Clock and Pamela Anderson who were performing in Vegas. They were amazing, right?
We had Neil Patrick Harris and he did a magic trick where I laid down on a table and spikes shot through my a torso and uh and we but we always have magic on the show through the years. This is our fifth season and I' I've noticed they all have one thing in common and that is they all have a wind machine and it really does make all the difference. You never see a magician without a wind machine and you wonder why cuz the tricks are all different but the wind makes it sexier and more dramatic and somehow there's something about wind that you go whoa look at the wind. You know, here's Hans's clock on the show.
Look at this. this is sexy, right? And I thought, how come it's just magicians? They should have wind machines everywhere. Like, you know, when you go to the DMV to get your picture taken for the driver's license, you know? And I thought, you know, why not me? Why am I What's wrong with this is season five? Somebody here should have figured out. Somebody should have thought about that. I would look better. My monologue would be sexier, you know? Do I have to think of everything myself? I don't know why. But so right now, I just want to show you because this is what I've been looking like doing the monologue, you know, all these years.
And you'd think fine, but because you don't know the difference. Let me show you. I haven't seen it either, but let's take a look. Turn on the wind machine. Oh, dazzling. Keep it on. And then you add the right music to it. Watch this. Yeah. Everything is going to be amazing. And then you put lighting mixed with that. My eyes are watering. But it says it's very mysterious. Hand gestures are really good, too, cuz you use a lot of hand gestures when you're delivering dinner tonight. Say, "Here, look at the broccoli. Pay no attention to the dirty kitchen." The
broccoli, not the dirty kitchen. Everything seems magical. If you work at the Gap, all of a sudden you have this going on and you're like, "Can I help you find some relaxed fit khakis? And now with the help of my lovely assistant striker, be prepared to be amazed by my dance. here.
Heat here. Oh, they're happy. They have good seats out there, too. Uh, striker. So, uh, here's the thing. Today is, this is very confusing. Today is Monday. You at home are going, I know it's Monday, Ellen, but the thing is I'm saying it's
Monday to you at home because we're shooting this on Friday. So, as I shoot this on Friday and you watch it on Monday, I don't know if I won or lost the Emmy last night. I have no idea. You at home know, but I don't. I mean, this is really trippy. I mean, it's like completely triply because I if I win. So, okay. Like, if I did win, I'm thrilled. Thank you so much, y'all. God, thank all of you. And then, if I didn't win, it's okay. Congratulations, David Letterman or John Stewart or Steven Cobar or Tony Bennett or there could have been a tie. Anyway, um and uh Ryan did a great job. nice suit or tux suit tucks. And uh you've
already been to the Emmys somehow. You've already been there, right? Right. I was there at the Emmys on the red carpet. How do I look? Do I look okay? You looked unbelievable. Oh, thanks. You did, too. Thank you. Yeah. So, you were on the red You're already have been on the red carpet. Yes, I talked to a lot of famous people. I took a shower that day. I looked clean. I smelled nice. And we chatted. Good for you. You're representing us, so you got to take a shower that day. That's the day to do it. Um All right.
So, well, let's take a look at how you looked then on Sunday yesterday. Ellen, hello there at Striker. And you've sent me to the Prime Time Emmy Awards. It's the first time I've worn a tuxedo since high school, and I feel pretty good. All the stars are starting to arrive. Let's go find out what they have to say. Come on. Look at that right here. Look at my show. Hi. Oh, hi. Hi, Ellen. Hi. You look fantastic. You look fantastic, too. Those are very cool shoes. Thank you very much. Rain Wilson Riker Straon Strikerstein. I can't believe they brought you here. They don't know like what a degenerate you truly are.
Um security. You have my back just in case someone messes with me. My body part is your bodies made. What were you wearing yesterday? What was yesterday? Oh, I was What do you mean? You know, were you just wearing sweats relaxing for today? That's such a good question. Ellen says hello. Good luck. Ellen, is she there live? She's nominated tonight. And so she's already inside. Is she inside already? Yes.
I love you, Ellen. Yeah. I just love going on Ellen all the time. I want to do like a whole week with Ellen or something. We need to like book that, you know. Good. I love Ellen. One of my favorite shows. I'm the new DJ on the show. Oh, good. So, she's one that dances to your music. Very good. So, you have an important job cuz if I suck at it. Yeah. Don't Don't screw it up. Were you up late last night?
No, I was not up late last. Don't bust me. Don't bust me on Ellie. I barely been on the show and I almost I thought she'd cancel your contract. That's after this interview, my friend. Has this been the worst part of the night so far, or is this in the medium range? Talking to you. That's right. This is great. Okay, cool. This is great. There's no pressure. We're in the shade. You're like a, you know, nice, smart guy that listens. It's Thanks. You're working for Allen. Come on.
How am I doing on the show so far? Cuz I think this is the only time I'll really get to ask you because I love you. You're doing great. And everyone notices. Everybody adores you. And I think you're doing great. I love having you there, Ellen. That's it. I'm done with the red carpet. Thanks for sending me out. Saw a lot of famous people. Talked to a lot of them. My most favorite though, that would be you. I wish you the best of luck tonight. I'll see you tomorrow at the job site. Goodbye. All right. We have a great show today uh from Oh, from Prison Break. Wentworth Miller. Ladies. Wentworth Miller. I need a fan.
I need a F. He's a criminal. All right. He's criminally good-looking. He'll He'll steal your heart. He'll He'll take your breath away. He'll rip your clothes off. I've gone too far. I'm sorry. He's handsome. That's all I'm saying. And also uh the winner uh from America's Got Talent. Uh very talented guy. I thought this guy was incredible. I'm glad he won. Terry uh Feder. He's a ventriloquist. And then later we're going to read some viewer mails uh emails and uh it's called uh express yourself. And uh I want to read one of them right now. This is from Joan Denman from Tallahassee, Florida. Uh dear Ellen, I bet Chris Matthews uh with Hardball won't put you
on hold and make you call back. Try him next. Say what? Uh she added to say to it. I just was going what? say what? So, I love your show, Joan. Um, and what she's talking about is a couple of weeks ago, um, I heard, uh, Wolf Blitzer talk about me on his show on CNN, The Situation Room, and, uh, he said he wanted to come on my show. And so, I mean, he's practically begging. And so, uh, I called to invite him, and, uh, this was just a cold call. We called the switchboard at CNN. This is what happened.
Oh, hi. Who's this? This is Jill. Hi, Jill. It's Ellen. Hi, Ellen. How you doing? I'm fine. Great. You sound very happy and cheerful. Well, I'm I'm very spunky. Oh, good. Me, too. Um, I'm trying to get a hold of Wolf Blitzer because he said he wants to be on my show and I want to invite him on. Is he busy? Um, I was just told by the powers to be that he since it's a break time, he'd love to talk to you as soon as the show's over and that's in 25 minutes.
I'm sorry. You've made people so angry, Jill. All right. So, apparently uh he was too busy doing his live show and so Joan suggested I called Chris Matthews at Hardball and that's a good idea and I'm going to invite him on my show. So, I'll try to call Chris uh Matthews right now and see if he answers the phone. And where's he? Where am I calling again? Washington. This is fancy. What's that? Okay. And this is the main number there. Or hello, Hardball. Oh, hi Hardball. It's Ellen Degenerous calling. How are you?
Um, good, thanks. Good. Um, hey, listen. Uh, you know, have you ever met Wolf Blitzer? Uh, not personally. No. Yeah. Well, he stuck up. He would not answer my phone. I called and they put me on hold and he was doing a live show or something like that. So, uh, I'm trying to call Chris Matthews and, uh, get a hold of him. Well, he's actually not available at the moment, but I could take a message for you. Well, I'm I'm sure you could take a message, but I would like to speak directly to him. I want to ask him, you know, um Well, you can maybe answer some questions.
Well, I don't think I can do that. Uh but, uh we're on the air right now. Oh, for the president's speech, right? I'm on the air, too. It's not as important. I understand that. But so, you can't tie up the line. Can you talk to me or no? What are you doing right now? What's your name? You Oh, you It's classified. You can't tell me. No. What is it? What's your name? It's Brooke. That's made up. That is totally made up. Nobody's That's a soap opera name.
You're not named Brook. And if you are, you're very cute. If your name is Brooke. Um, why is it called Hardball? You can't answer. It's classified. It was the name of uh Chris's book. Oh, so the book came first. I always wonder that. That's right. Okay. Um and uh same with Harry Potter. Um so uh what are you wearing, Brooke? Uh what are you wearing? I bet it's like navy blue pants and Huh. Pretty much. [clears throat] Yeah, they're brown. Yeah. Well, blue, brown, and uh loafers with socks and like a button-d down, like a Brooks Brothers. Hey, uh shirt. That's about right. Yeah.
Yeah. All right. Listen. Um I want you to uh write this down. Dear Chris, don't play hard ball with me. I want him to be on the show. No, scratch that. Just tell him I'm waiting. I want to be on the show because Wolf Blitzer said he wants me on his show and he wants to be on my show. Then I tried to call him and they put me on hold and so I just don't want to mess around. It's either whoever calls me back first. If it's Wolf, fine. If it's Chris, fine. So, whoever calls me back first gets on the show.
I'm calling Brian Williams next. Okay. Could I get a phone number to reach you? Yeah, it's uh 81826. That's the main line and then you get right to me. Okay. You know, you ask for it and you get right to me. All right, Brooke, thanks for talking to me. Well, thanks for calling. Okay. Well, say hi to Chris. I will. All right. Bye-bye. All right. We come back, we're going to watch me get ready for the Emmys.
All right, we'll be right back. Well, you know what happened at the Emmys yesterday, but what you don't know is how I got ready for him until now. He got here at 7:30. He's been spraying each hair starting at 7:30. We're almost done. This is my bra and underwear, my socks. I'm going to wear all these socks. What happens if there's a hole? You know what I mean? How embarrassing would that be? So, I wear all of these socks. I wear three four bras and all those pair of underwear. And then I always bring a dog toy with me.
[clears throat] I'm nominated for an Emmy. You announce you're the host of over here. You're whoever's giving it. An Amy goes to Ellener. Oh my god. Thank you. And the Emmy goes to Tony Bennett. Wonderful. Tony Bennett. Oh, wonderful. Everyone stand. Absolutely. I'm so glad I didn't win. I don't need no in my life to make me happy without an want to try some red carpet. Okay. [clears throat] Ellen, who are you wearing? Uh, this is Gucci. That's how they like to photograph you, I've heard. So, I'm just going to turn constantly. I'm going to back down the carpet like a crab.
Huh? That's Gucci. Okay, now you can stand here cuz I'm going to go get ready. I'll um I'll be beautiful the next time you see me. Now I'm ready. No, not yet. Now I'm That's sweet. That's what we do. Okay. All right. And then we pretend that we're walking on the carpet right now. Okay. All right. Let's go. Okay. Hi. So, this is me taking over from you as I get in the car. All right. So, here we go.
All right. So, we started getting ready at noon. It's now 3:30. Hi, What's up, girl? The nominees for outstanding individual performance in a variety or music program. And the Emmy goes to Oh, Mr. Tony Bennett. Wow. I may not win an Emmy, but it doesn't matter to me because my life is complete. That kind of rhymed. All right, we're going to read some viewer email when we come back. Don't go away. [screaming] And now it's time to take a look at viewer email in our segment express yourself.
Uh Tracy Fuller in Haggerstown, Maryland. My suggestion is that I would like to see you visit small towns like mine. So I'm inviting you to my town so I can show it off to you and get some great home-cooked meals. Please be my guest. Um Huh. Yes. Um I said Haggertown. It's Hagerstown. Sure. It's where the slacks are from. Uh all right. So uh great. So, she wants me to visit and then uh get some great home-cooked meals. So, uh I don't know if she wants me to cook the great home-cooked meals. Who's the guest here? I have no idea. Um I was thinking maybe that uh I would go to uh Hagerstown, but I don't know a lot about it. And so I found this commercial and uh I think the tourist bure bureau sends it out.
Here in Hagartown, we have beautiful buildings like the paper factory. We have birds and they'll bite your nose. You can participate in a Civil War reenactment as your children relax on our cows. Santa vacations here in the summer. And of course, we're famous for our Hagar slacks. Come to Hagar's Town. Population 36,687. Plus you. That's lovely. All right. And this one is from uh Sylvia Cely in Brooklyn, New York. Are you going to feature Striker, your DJ, as one of the men of Ellen? Um, all right. Uh, oh my. I would love to feature Striker as one of our men of Ellen. Unfortunately, we're not doing the Men of Ellen anymore. Now, we're doing the me men of Telmundo. And, uh, you may have seen this hunk doing the sports over at
Telmundo 52. He tapes right across the parking lot uh, here at NBC. So, let's meet Mauricio Cardinas. Hi, Mauricio. Hi, Alan. How's it going? Good. Really good. Congratulations on being the first men of Telmundo. I am. Yeah. Very first. Good. Yeah. It's great. An applause. What's that? An applause. All right. Get ready. This is going to change your life. All right. You're being featured right now.
Ladies, if you're looking for a mo, then you've come to the right place because Mauricio is Muay Caliente. He doesn't just deliver the news, he delivers anytime, anywhere. He enjoys running, el football, eating sushi, and long walks in the newsroom. If you picture yourself walking into the sunset with a California roll in one hand and his in the other, how do you say hand in Spanish? Mano. Check it out, ladies. He's bilingual. There's only one thing left to say about him, and that is go. [screaming] So, if you want to be his lead story, go to our website, tell us why. Thanks for being here, Mauricio.
Gracias. We'll be back with Wentworth Miller after this Miller. [screaming] Hello Wentworth. I like your look and I like your name. It's such a good name. I think I mentioned that last time you were here. It's just a great name. I have something for you. I saw somebody put something down there. What you got? It's a gift. I heard it was your fifth anniversary, so I wanted to give you something and uh I remember seeing a clip of um smoking donkey.
We used to have the smoking donkey on the table. Yes. Well, I think this is a little companion piece. Now he's got a friend. Oh my. It's the drinking bear. This is vintage. I found this at a pawn shop outside of Dallas, Texas. Oh, and he pours it. Oh. And he drinks it. Fantastic. That's great. I wonder how many animals they thought of before they decided upon the bear that would drink. They It's usually chimpanzees they make do all those things.
Yeah, just a little something. It's great. I'm I don't know where the smoking dog is. We thought it was not cool to be putting smoking out there, you know, so we decided to take it away, but there's nothing wrong with a drinking bear. No. Now, uh speaking of smoking, because it's bad for you, you know, it's really bad for you. And uh you recently just quit, right? Yes, I did. Great. How long did you smoke? Did you smoke for a long time? I did. I was smoking on and off for about um 10 years. Uh but I haven't I've had maybe four or five cigarettes in the last eight months. So, as far as I'm concerned, that's quitting. Yeah,
I think that's pretty good. So, that's that's good. So, that means you haven't totally quit. That means you're not completely addicted that you're going to start all the way up again. No, I think I'm done with it, which is great. Yeah. How'd you do it? Well, you know, I didn't want to try the patch because I thought chemicals got me into this. Um I don't want to use chemicals to get me out of this. I just want to stop cold turkey on my own willpower. I think that's the best way to do it. Now, is it hard like everybody? Because it just seems like the kind of set where there's a bunch of guys just sitting around because you're there's a lot of
downtime. Do a lot of guys smoke on the set. Uh they do. They do, but my new addiction is a Blackberry. Oh, really? Yeah. Constantly on the Keeps your hands busy. Exactly. And uh speaking of the show and the set, I can't uh not ask this that I mean uh Lane Garrison who uh had was such a tragedy. I mean it was just such a horrible thing that happened the drunk driving incident and um I've seen him sobbing. He clearly is remorseful and he's he's I don't know if you know the story. He was and he didn't even know that the kids they were killed when he was driving drunk and a couple of 15 year olds or something, right? And uh so have you talked to him or do you have
not recently but uh I did get a chance to spend some time with Lane when he was working on the show and all I can say is that he is uh essentially a very sweet kid who made um a uh a horrific mistake. Obviously there are no excuses. Uh nothing's going to bring that boy back and he'll spend the rest of his life uh paying for it. And um I was really proud of him that he stepped forward and uh took full responsibility for his actions. Yeah. It's it just shows you. I mean, I'm sure he was a great guy. And just one that's a bad decision. That should show you. You don't drink and drive. You don't fool around with it. No matter what a great person you are, it's just not worth it, you
know, to take that chance. It's very serious segment on Ellen today. Yeah, it is. Well, you know, smoke. That's a No, let's let's let's get lighter then. Um, take your shirt off. Um, so that you had Well, you had the tattoos before. You're back in prison again. You were out now. You're back in prison. That's right. And so now, and you had the tattoos before your whole you were always like this and now you're not you don't have the tattoos, right? So you have to just wear a shirt all the time to cover and a long sleeve t-shirt to pretend to cover all that.
Yeah. And it's supposed to be down in Panama. It's supposed to be hot. We're sweating. Um we're shooting the show in Dallas, so it's like 110 degrees every day. Um it's a nightmare. And humid, too. And humid. Yeah. Yeah. So And what is that like? It must be is and it's not like a they don't try to make it look real clean. It's a prison. It's a bad prison. Yeah. You're supposed to be dirty. You're supposed to be sweaty. All the actors before every take were standing there with our own little uh spritz bottles spraying ourselves down just to sell the story that um we're supposed to
be selling. Which is funny to me because I can remember um driving around Los Angeles way before my career had started uh in this 1982 beat up Toyota Cresa. The AC was shot, the windows were down. And I've got like a spritz throttle uh a spritz bottle rolling around the car like underneath my seat and I'd pull up to an intersection or at a red light or something and I'd spray myself down just to like stay cool. And now the universe has a really bizarre sense of humor. That spritz bottle. Is it the same one or No, you didn't hold on to it.
I've upgraded. All right. Uh thanks for being here. My pleasure. The third se and thanks for my drinking bear. Oh, you're welcome. The third season of Prison Break premieres tonight uh at 8 o'clock on Fox. We'll uh look at some of the highlights from my vlogs after this. This summer I started recording some vlogs for our website and I really had fun. Here's some stuff I did. You know what I'm going to do?
This is something that I have not done in front of anyone. This is just when I'm home by myself and of course the gardeners. Um what I do is I practice new dance moves. Okay. Don't let me make up for those things you like. Yeah. I got to get fast. That's it. Those are my new moves for this season. All sharp angles again. When this goes forward, this comes back. This goes forward. Maybe this will come up. Maybe when this touches this, this comes down. Back. This forward. One leg. Back. Forward. Down. Up. And then back.
Let's do it together. This forward. This back. This forward. This back. This forward. Back. This way. Forward. Back. and crossover. I'm gonna be a choreographer. You need to show mama's uh self-portrait. My mother is a really wonderful artist. Isn't that good of mama? Cuz she looks at these things. I should show that, you know, I use her stuff when she gives it to me. This way she's always with me.
Mama also did a um a mold of her. No, that's not right. That's not my mama. That's horrible. Look, Ellen, how dare you? How dare you say this is me? It's an African fertility lamp. Um so, New York City, first two shows. The first show. Do you want to know who's on? I bet you do. Senator Hillary Roden Clinton. I feel drunk. Senator Hillary Roden Clinton is I'll tell you that right now. Senator Hillary Rodm Clinton. She should consider changing her name because that's a hard one to say. And she may be our first uh woman president. How about
that? Wouldn't that be amazing if that she's our first guest and then she's a the first uh then she's the president. That would be incredib. That's how I'm going to talk this season. I'm going to come up with new words. Incredibly good. Incredible. And I go doop. And I'm going to do that to Senator Hillary Rodm Clinton, too. I'm gonna say you are running for president lady. You could be the first female president. Incredibo and then her secret service will come and take me away. I'm going to practice later. Uh okay. So, I'm in my office right now and I'm walking around because I want to make sure everybody's working.
Are you working? I am. Are you working? Great. Everybody's working. Cream. Just want you to see what they're watching. Oh, Jesus. Cream. They're traitors. No. Ellen, you're the best. Quick, in the office. Oprah's on. America's Got Talent. winner Terry Feder will be out here after this. Sometimes it pays to hang around with a dummy. Please welcome the winner of America's Got Talent, Terry Feder.
You're walking out and then you've got a little fellow with you looking around, shocked. What's Who's your friend? I'm Winston. Oh, I'm Winston. I'm Winston the person turtle. Ding. Oh, looks good. He's adorable. Winston. It's adorable. Thank you. And how did you start this and how long ago? I was 10 years old and I found a book in my school library on how to be a ventriloquist. Uh there's a picture of me right there. See? And what does the book How does a book teach you how to teach? Well, I guess most people have tried it. You would not believe how many people come up to me and say, "I tried it when I was a kid and couldn't do it." And I guess I was one of the lucky ones. It
was pretty I mean, I was able to do it pretty quickly. And my parents uh went half with me on a puppet at Sears. Uh it was $20. I was able to raise 10, they raised 10, and I got my first puppet. And uh just started doing shows. And in fact, the picture they just showed is my first paying show. They paid me $25 in 1976 to do that show. Wow. That's that's good money in 1976. Very good money. And I thought I'll never have to work again because they're going to pay me. So yeah. And you're right.
This is fun, right? It's so much fun. It's hard work, but it's the kind of work that you love to do. So you know what that's like. Well, yes, I do. But what's great about you is that you're not just ventriloquist. You have such an amazing voice and you impersonate like a hundred different singers, right? So your voice is what's incredible that you're singing and doing it that way. Will you perform for us? Of course. All right. Terry. Okay. I'd like to do my impersonation of the world's most famous amphibian. Who's that?
Hi, Hulk. Turn the frog here. Oh, that's good. Can I just say that we're going to be at the Las Vegas Hilton? Oh, we are Las Vegas Hilton. October 14th and 15th. Yes. And the Borgata. Yeah, the Borgata. Yeah. The day after Thanksgiving and the day after that. Yeah. Okay. So, we ready to start? Yeah. Ellen, start the music. Oh, I don't think Ellen does that. There we go. That's good.
You're going to sing? Yeah. Okay. I see trees of green, red roses, too. I see them blue or you. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world. You're going to sing. I am. Yes. The colors of the rainbow. So pretty in the sky are also on the faces of people going by. I see friends shaking hands. saying, "How do you do fairly sing?" I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They lay much more. And I'll never know. And I think to myself,
you'll Okay. What a wonderful world. Oh yes. Thank you so much. Thank you. Fantastic. You're fantastic. Thank you so much. Check theater at Las Vegas October 14th and 15th. Like they said, we'll be right back. Thank you. Oh, hi. I'm just sitting here with my friend. What's your name? What? I don't know. You don't know your name? No. Well, will you help me say thank you to my guests? Okay. I want to thank They can't understand that. And I want to thank Wentworth Miller and America's Got Talent winner Terry Feder. That's what I was going to say. Well, then say who's on tomorrow. A
They don't understand that. Howie Mandel. I'll see you then. Bye-bye.
