Master Small Talk to Speak English with Confidence Using These Key Phrases

Hello, this is Jack from To Fluency. Now, in this lesson, you're gonna learn the phrases you actually need for small talk in English, small talk. And by the end, you're not just gonna know what to say, you're going to know how to keep the conversation going so it doesn't fall flat after the first question, so it doesn't get awkward after the first question where you're thinking, "What should I say? Let me tell you why I'm making this podcast. Because after working with thousands of English learners, and also listening to what people have issues with when it comes to learning English, there's one thing that people often tell me.

It's this, "Jack, I can talk about my job. I can give a presentation. I can have a conversation sometimes about a topic. But when somebody first sees me and talks to me for the first time and says, 'Hey, how are you?' Or, 'How was your weekend?' I freeze. I freeze, and I don't know what to say." Now, if that happens to you, you're not alone, and small talk is one of the hardest parts of speaking a foreign language. People think that this is harder than grammar or harder than learning new vocabulary, and the reason for this is simple.

Small talk isn't so much about what you say, it's about the rhythm of how you say it, and it's also about not freezing in that moment. I'll explain all about this in a moment, but first, let's start with a quick definition. By small talk, what I mean here is just light, casual conversation The type of conversation you have with a neighbor, a colleague, a stranger at a coffee shop, someone you meet at a party or a language exchange, or just someone who you run into who you've not seen for a while.

The conversation isn't deep. It's not about big topics. It's not about a deep conversation about politics or something like that. Instead, it's this social glue that makes everyday life feel comfortable. And what I mean by that is it's a way for you just to get by when you meet someone and to make that small talk, that small conversation And before I give you some really useful phrases, and what I recommend you do is that you copy these phrases and repeat them out loud. But before I give you those phrases, I wanna share one thing that will change how you do small talk forever.

It's gonna change the way you do small talk forever And it's this, small talk isn't a script, so it's not so much what you remember and know what to say. It's more like something similar to a tennis match because most learners try to answer questions. So in small talk, most people just try to answer questions. So if somebody says, "How was your weekend?" You might say, "Good, thanks." End of conversation. Awkward silence. Now, if you want to get good at small talk, don't do that. Instead, what you need to do is this: give a short answer, add a tiny extra piece of information, and then bounce the question back or ask that person

a question, another way to say it. So, for example, if somebody says, "How was your weekend?" You can say, "Yeah, really nice. Oh, I finally tried that new cafe on the high street. It was really good, actually. How about you?" Or, "Yeah, really nice. Well, the weather kind of ruined the plans, but I had a good weekend anyway. What about you?" You can see what happened there.

There were three things all in one answer. The short answer, more information, more info for the other person, and then a question back. So short answer, more information, and then a question back So keep that in mind. Keep that in your mind as we go through these phrases. So let's start with the first group, and we have Five groups in total before we get into something else as well. So let's go through this now. The first group is all about opening small talk, so starting that s- small talk. And these are the phrases you're gonna use to start a casual conversation or to greet someone you already know.

So the first one is, I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's this: How's it going? This is the most common casual greeting in English between two people who already know each other. It sounds like a real question, but it isn't really. And with this one, you don't tend to give a longer answer here. The best way to answer this is to say, "Yeah, not bad. You?" Or, "Pretty good. How about you?" This is like the opener for it, and this isn't going to have extra information. Although we just talked about that, this is not gonna have any extra information.

Now, the next one is, "How's your week been?" How's your week been? This is a slightly stronger version because it invites one of those small updates, one of those extra bits of information you want to add, so maybe one or two sentences more. And you can use this, with somebody at work or a friend you haven't seen for a few days because there's a bit of a context here. How's your week been is recently. It's like what has happened recently with you? The next question you might ask is, "Got anything fun planned?" And you'll hear this all the time, especially on a Friday afternoon

or before a holiday, or before some type of vacation, let's say. And we use this in a way that actually drops-- We don't use the word have. So we just say got. Got anything fun planned? The next one is you use this when you bump into someone you haven't seen for a while, and to bump into someone just means to meet by accident, so you don't plan to meet them. And it's this: Long time no see. And this is a really friendly phra-phrase that everyone uses. And another one you might say in a similar vein, which is more British, is, "It's been ages." "Hey, it's been ages.

It's been ages." Which means it's just been a long time since I last saw you. Now, group two is one of the most important parts of this lesson because these are the tiny phrases that you can use to give the question back to the other person or to invite some type of follow-up. So when somebody asks you, you know, "How's your week been? How's it going?" You give some information, you say, "How about you?" How about you? This is the key phrase, the number one phrase I want you to learn.

How about you? If someone asks you, "How-- What are you doing this weekend?" You say, "Da, da, da, da. What about you?" So it's a very g-- It's a-- such a powerful phrase that you can use to ask the other person a question. Now, and the other thing is, in English, if you're ever stuck and you don't know what to say, and you're struggling to think about what you can say, use this phrase, "How about you?" Or ask a question to somebody so then they start talking. It's a little trick you can use next time. Now, if someone tells you something interesting, like they have a new job, they've moved house, they went someone new, you can say, "Oh, really? How's that

going?" Or, "Oh, wow. What's that like?" What's that like or how's that going? So this is to ask more information without sounding too nosy, and to be nosy means to be a little too interested in someone's personal life or private life. Now, this phrase doesn't sound nosy at all. It just sounds curious. What's that like? And then another follow-up doesn't always have to be a question. Instead, you could do something like, "That sounds amazing," or, "Oh, that sounds lovely." Or in British English, you'll hear, "Oh, that's nice." This keeps the conversation feeling friendly even when you don't have a question ready.

So that sounds lovely Now, the next group are all about safer topics or safe topics, because when it comes to small talk and you're just meeting someone, like we've mentioned before, you don't wanna go too deep. You don't wanna go too political, especially these days. Or you don't wanna get into a conversation where they have to talk for a long time and explain themselves, like asking them, "Oh, what, what do you think about this new study on this health issue?" And then they go into a long con-- You don't want that. You wanna keep it nice and easy. Small talk, keep it small. So there are five or six phrases or, sorry, topics that English speakers use again and again.

They won't get awkward. They're not gonna enter this stage of a conversation where things are, "Ugh, this is hard to talk about." The first one, okay, you should know this And it is genuine, especially British people, but Americans as well talk about it all the time. It's the weather. It's the weather all the time. So we always talk about the weather. In fact, I'm just thinking about some small talk conversations I've had recently, and it's about how much rain we've had.

"Yeah, things are good, although it's been really rainy, although it's been wet every day." So it's a very common thing to talk about. So for the weather, what I recommend doing is just learning a few phrases here that you can use for the weather. So you might hear someone say, "Yeah, bit chilly today, isn't it?" So a bit chilly today, isn't it? But we don't say A. We just say, "Bit chilly today, isn't it?" Now, this means it is slightly or it's a little bit cold today, right? So this is a very, very common phrase to use it, but we talk about it with bit.

It's a bit warm. It's a bit too windy. It's a bit gray at the moment. So learn all these phrases for the weather 'cause it's gonna help you so much when it comes to small talk. Now, we've talked about the weather too much. The next one is the weekend, the weekend. So you can talk about the weekend in terms of the future. We can use things like going to. "What are you going to do this weekend?" What are you going to do this weekend? Or simply using the present continuous, "What are you doing this weekend?" So a very common thing to, to then go into.

So you can imagine you met somebody, and you haven't seen them for a while. "Hey, how are you? How's it going?" "Yeah, it's going good. What about you?" "Yeah, good. Um, what are you getting up to this weekend?" And then after talking about the weather, "What, what are you getting up to this weekend? What are you doing this weekend?" So we do talk about the weekend a lot. And we also, if it's a Monday, we talk about what we did at the weekend.

"What did you get up to this weekend?" Or, "Did you have a good weekend?" Now, for work, this is one where it can go into a little bit more of a conversation because when you talk about work with someone, some people have a more complex answer to this. So let's say you asked the question, "How's work going?" They might say, "Well, you'll never believe it, but this issue happened, and John forgot to do the report, which meant that I had to stay late last week, which then means that I am now moving to a new department. And can you believe that p-" And you just think, "Okay, I shouldn't have asked that question.

I shouldn't have asked that question, 'How's work going?'" But for most people, they're gonna answer it like, "Yeah, it's good. I'm really busy, but it's fun at the moment." Or, "Yeah, it's good. I'm busy. It's going okay. It's a bit boring, but it's fine." And then another one to use, if it's in a local area, and you know people in that local area, you can talk about local things because it really opens up a whole new conversation about restaurants, cafes, shops, and anything new in the area, and people love to talk about local things.

So you can think about it in terms of asking a question, "Oh, have you been to that new cafe just around the corner?" Or, "Have you heard…" A great phrase. "Have you heard they're opening up a new cafe around the corner?" Now, let's move on to the next group, and I love this. The next group of phrases is when it's time for the conversation to come to an end. And you know these types of situations when you are thinking, "Oh, I really

need to end this conversation, and how do I do that?" It's hard to do because you can't just walk away. You can't just go, "All right. Bye-bye." You have to end it politely. So that's why I'm going to say a great few phrases that are gonna help you with that. The first one is funny. "Anyway, I'd better let you go." This is a magic phrase because it always signals that you need to wrap up, you need to end this conversation, and "I'd better let you go" actually means something like, "I'm sure you've got things to do and you're busy, so I'll stop taking your time, and you are now free to go and do something else." So it sounds polite even though you are the one ending the conversation.

"I'd better let you go. Anyway, I'd better let you go." And another one is catching up, using the word catching up. It was lovely catching up. So this means that you're having a conversation, that you've not seen someone for a while, and this is perfect if you bump into an old friend or a work mate, a colleague you haven't seen for a while. It was lovely catching up. Uh, I've gotta get going. And then another one is, if it's a friend that you've not seen for a while again, and you want to open up the possibility of seeing them again soon, is this: We should grab a coffee sometime.

Oh, we should grab a coffee sometime. We should grab a beer sometime. Now, just be aware this is genuine, but it's a, a polite phrase to use, and by using sometime it means we don't need to commit to this right now. We don't need to commit to it right now. Instead, we can just let this go on a little bit longer. Maybe I'll text you, maybe I won't, and then maybe we will grab a coffee sometime So let's go through a few cultural notes now, and this will save you from those awkward moments, okay? Those awkward moments that we don't wanna have. The first one is when someone says, "How are you?" They usually don't want a real answer about how you are doing in your life and all your updates, and it might

be similar in your native language too. So by saying, "Yeah, not bad. You?" Or, "Yeah, pretty good. You?" And then you move on. So if you give them a real update on your health or your stress, your problems, your family, they'll be quite confused. Although sometimes I do this. So if someone says, "How are you?" It's like, "Yeah, pretty good." Um, and give them a little update. That's okay. Give them a little update, which then they'll ask you a question about Now, the next one is in British English and small talk in the UK, complaining is usually friendly. So we like to complain, but in a fun way.

So we might say, " oh, this weather is awful, isn't it?" It's a way to bond, so it's not actually a complaint. So, it's done in a way where you're complaining about something, but you're bonding with that person. You're finding that connection with that person. So you can always complain about something. You know, it's, "Ah, it's getting so dark so early." Usually it's the weather. Again, it's the weather, and people in the UK can complain about the weather all the time because it is not very good. Now, topics to try to avoid with people you don't know well. So if you don't know people well, it's, especially with

small talk, is money, right? So talking about money, how much you earn, how much you spend, things like that. Politics, that's another one, and also very personal questions about family or relationships. Now again, sometimes I break these rules. Sometimes I'm nosy. If I see someone I've not seen for a while, um, I don't know that well, I might still ask them a question about their relationship. "Oh, are you, uh, still with that person?" Or, "How's the dating life going?" Those types of things. But safe topics are weather, again, weekend, food, travel, local things, sport, TV, work, those types of things

And then the next part is, or the next thing I wanna get across is sometimes silence is okay. If there's a pause, don't panic. It's okay. A small silence is completely normal, and you can always say something like, "Anyway," and change topic or start wrapping up, start ending it. So for example, "Anyway, did you, uh, see the game last night?" Or something like, "Anyway, I better let you go" So let's just do a little bit of a, a conversation here. It's not gonna be too long, but it's just gonna help you a little bit remember all this. So for example, you meet someone.

"How's it going?" "Yeah, not bad. Busy week. How about you?" "Yeah, pretty good. Not too bad as well. Um, oh, are you off anywhere next week? It's spring break, right?" "Well, we're hoping to go to the beach, but we haven't booked it yet. What about you?" "Oh, we're going to the beach. Yeah, we, uh, booked it a while ago. Pretty excited about it. Um, there's a whole bunch of us going as well, so it, it should be pretty good."

"Oh, wh- which beach are you going to?" And then the conversation goes on and on. And then you might say Well, maybe we'll see you at the beach next week. That would be good, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would. All right, see ya. So you can see there's natural ways that you can wrap up and end those conversations. But what I want you to do now is to go to the description and just read all of these phrases that I've given you today. And I'll also leave some notes as well about this lesson so you can read it and know exactly how to use small talk in English. And then listen to another one of my podcast episodes.

They're all here on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, on YouTube as well. So, uh, yeah, watch another one of my lessons or listen to another one of my lessons, and thank you so much for being here. I'll speak to you soon. Bye for now