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Binance, one of the world's largest cryptocurrency exchanges, has been hit by what could be the biggest crypto heist or just regular heist in history with hackers making off with an estimated $6.3 billion. Whoa. If that's how much you can catch in crypto, think about how much you'd get for catching a crypted like Bigfoot. Something to think about. I'm Riley Murdoch. This is Techn. This wasn't one of those fun Oceans 11 style heists. The attack may have started with a compromised laptop belonging to a Binance software engineer which allowed hackers to access internal systems and authorize fraudulent
withdrawals. Although Binance says more stuff happened. Also, blockchain analysis firm TRM Labs does not believe George Clooney and the boys were behind the heist. instead pointing the finger at North Korea's notorious traitor traitor hacking group. That's confusing. Adding insult to injury, Elon Musk decided to troll the exchange by tweeting out a grimacing face emoji, prompting Binance's founder to remind Musk that Binance invested $500 million into his Twitter takeover. Always nice to see billionaires getting into their little Twitter spats. Eat each other. Meanwhile, Binance says users money is safe and that it has set aside about $6.34 billion to cover losses from the
attack. The company is pledging to keep users funds safe, but that feels a bit late. It must be nice to have a $6 billion rainy day fund, but let this be one very expensive reminder to us all to keep our laptop secure, especially from statef funed elite hacking groups. They're tricky. I think I can take them, though. Uh oh, don't say that. Google is admitting that its AI powered search makes less cash than good old-fashioned regular search. So, how's Google fixing that? More ads, obviously. Despite Google's search revenue growing 12% last quarter, it still missed analyst expectations by 1.6 billion, which in tech is a big faux paw that gets you a 10% stock drop and a stern talking to from your shareholders.
Google says the growth of AI mode is partly to blame, citing lower monetization there. So, their genius solution to calm their shareholders is to roll out AI mode ads to international users and introduce brand new multi-turn ads in the US that hijack your follow-up questions with what I'm assuming are Geico ads. Ads inside answers inside follow-ups. It's a freaking Russian nesting doll of ad tech andification. It's inception. But Google isn't the only one taking a hit here. those I guess it's kind of useful sometimes when I'm in a rush, but I'm really not happy about it. AI overviews are stealing clicks from everyone, including Reddit.
In fact, Reddit claims searchdriven traffic plummeted by more than a million visits weekly in October and warns that daily active users might crash by double digits this quarter. Naturally, their stock tanked by over 25% on Friday morning. Oof. But don't worry, Reddit is taking drastic actions to save user, I mean shareholders, moving the platform to a loggedon experience, starting with tests outside the US. Something it says means more signals for ad targeting and more user engagement cuz you have to click more buttons to log in. It's the latest of many forced login pushes by Reddit. And while it will blunt AI scraping, it mostly blunts my will to use Reddit, which is already very low.
The Linux kernel has a flaw that could let hackers take over a server just by connecting to it. No login, no password, nothing at all, man. Linux's own security team rates this flaw at a 9.8 out of 10. And it's essentially a timing bug. When a server accepts a new connection, the kernel can free up memory that's still being used by the CPU. In the same way, a waiter clears your plate midbite and then gobbles down the second half of a sandwich you did not plan on sharing. Does this happen to anybody else? CUZ IT HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME. WHAT RESTAURANTS ARE YOU GOING TO? On October 27th, Anthropic said that with a little nudging, Claude wrote an attack that got full admin control of a
test server in 53 minutes using this flaw, even though Claude really didn't want to. Now, the exploit needs the timing to line up just right. But since a failed attempt only gets the attacker disconnected, instead of crashing the server, they can just keep trying as long as there's an open TCP port. As of Thursday, Debian, Oracle, Seuss, and Amazon had started shipping fixed kernels, but Ubuntu and Red Hat still haven't. What are they doing? They're the bad boys of the Linux kernel community. Hey, come hack me, b until those losers do ship a fixed kernel, the workaround is unplugging the server and thinking about how much safer you'd feel with our sponsor, sailing.
Woo! Me and the boys have been partying our way across Eastern Europe and SY has come in absolutely clutch. SE's eim data plans have kept the whole crew connected and their new phone numbers feature has been an actual lifesaver. Like last time we were in Romania, Kyle gave his real phone number to a girl who turned out to be a witch or something and she cursed his phone with like a billion scam calls. I'm not lying. But now Kyle hands out his silly digits instead, which keeps his real phone number safe and gives non-witch babes a real US number they can call or text instead of us. We're busy partying. He was like able to activate it in the app with just one tap and it works everywhere we go, DUDE. LIKE WHAT? STAY
safe from witchcraft and scammers with SY. GET 15% OFF EM DATA PLANS. Download the Celely app and use code tech to check out and then come party WITH US. COME ON, it's going to be sick. Let's go. Hey now, you're a quick bit. Get your game on. Go play. Hey now, you're a quick bit. Get the show on. Get paid. All that glitters is gold. Only quick bits break the mold. Yeah. See, that wasn't lame. GitHub says AI coding agents have been so busy and productive this year that the company had to add 4 million CPU cores and 160 pabytes of storage just to
keep up. More hardware, not for you. According to their latest yearly tech analysis, coders shipped changes to the platform 17.9 billion times over the last 12 months, more than 2024 and 2025 combined. On top of that, more than 40% of all pull requests are now being started by siliconbased code monkeys rather than actual humans. That's 160 pabytes to store the same app written by the same guy, Claude Clott. He's a legend. A fable really. GM will pay $220 million to settle allegations that it sold millions of drivers smart driver data, including locations and driving habits, to brokers who shared it with insurers, potentially hiking premiums. As a result, although GM stopped their
smart driver program in 2024, the legal fallout has continued. Now, with this settlement, GM must get clear user consent and strengthen privacy safeguards. Hopefully, drivers can enjoy great transparency and protection down the road. Get it? Cuz they make cars. Sam Alman says it's actually quite terrible that regular people have the world's limited DRAM sitting in their PCs just playing games because we, the normal folk, use it. maybe 5% of the time and it'd be way more efficient for society or something uh to have that DRAM in a data center like say I don't know maybe open AIS which secured as much as 40% of global DRAM output last year not enough I think data center should have all the GPUs and all the water
yeah come on things they're so sad right now meanwhile SKH one of the companies selling them that RAM says the shortage will last until 2030. Slight correction on the Altman quote though. He prefaced everything with from a global allocation perspective. Well, from a local allocation perspective, I'd like to have my fists 100% utilize their ability to punch his groin. Um, yeah. Okay. Flock reinstalled two surveillance cameras in Dayton, Minnesota, despite officials suspending the program and explicitly ordering the company to stop all work, go home. Flock hasn't explained this latest incident, but after a similar stunt in California, it blamed an automated maintenance system that mistakenly dispatched crews to replace cameras it
thought had malfunctioned after the city removed them. Those cameras are gone. What? Something must have happened. Not only does Flock misidentify criminals, it can't tell when it's not wanted either. Get a clue. Come on. You want a fish in the groin? All right. And Sony's joining the waifu wars with the ELF MN1. Elf Mini something. A 6in glasses free 3D display that brings anime avatars and digital companions right onto your desk. It's got eyetracking tech to give weebs a chance to practice making eye contact without the terrifying prospect of an actual conversation. This thing is coming to Japan December 11th for around $340.
They will have to pay in Benjamins. We're closer than ever to having a hollow deck and visiting with our beloved Captain Bard once more. Oh yeah. Just like you better be visiting with us next Monday for more tech news. Remember when I sang Smashmouth's Allstar about the Quick Bits? That was fun. Thank goodness it's Friday. Why? You're tired from singing. Cuz I'm tired from singing.
