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The Justice League. You expect us to compete against them? The show's getting stale, home slice. Turns out you can't do the same thing every year and expect people to care. If the Justice League are competing, who are the judges? Welcome to this year's competition. I'm your host, Birdang. That's my name. Don't wear it out. I cannot believe we are actually going to audition for the spot on the Justice League. So many A-list heroes. Wonder Woman. Wait, ain't we already on a team? Yeah, but we want to be on, you know, a good team. Oh, I totally gets that.
I don't know. Looks like a lot of heroes turned up this year. Think you guys got a chance? Of course, WE HAVE THE CHANCE. WE ARE AWESOME. CHECK THIS OUT. LAMMO. AND I CAN BE ANY ANIMAL in the world. Who else but the eye can do the speed, the strength, and the shooting of the eyeball lasers. That's nothing compared to my dark magic. I will destroy THE COMPETITION. AND I'VE got a sweet jump kick. Oh yeah, you don't have superpowers. Well, you're in luck cuz this isn't a superpower competition. We're trying to peep someone who's not just super, BUT SUPER SPECIAL. HA, THAT'S ME. I know because my mom told me. Once the
auditions got underway, things went from bad to Oh, no, he ain't. But despite the odds, one contestant seemed very sure of himself. My name is Robin. I'm a crimefighting vigilante and I have a very strong jawline. Epic. Yo, what do you think your chances are to win? Let's just say I'm pretty good friends with one of the judges. But you probably want to hear my very sad and melodramatic backstory. You see, I didn't have a regular childhood. I grew up in the circus. I was 8 years old and doing the tightroppe without a net.
Gosh, growing up in the circus sounds super fly. Yes, it was. Wait, NO. THERE'S A SAD PART, TOO. WHAT'S SAD about riding unicycles and chilling with clowns? I know growing up in the circus sounds fun, but it wasn't. I need you to feel sorry for me so I CAN WIN. PLEASE FEEL SORRY FOR ME. NO DITY. YO, BATMAN. WHAT'S UP, BROHAM? YOU BETTER NOT PLAY FAVORITES, BIG MAN. Wink. Uh, so for my talent, I'LL BE DOING A MOTORCYCLE TRICK.
WAIT, PLEASE. DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT BUZZ. YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME. BATMAN, YOU LIKE ME, RIGHT? THIS WAS MY DREAM. MY ONE SHOT AT THE JUSTICE LEAGUE. Didn't even give me a chance. It's not fair. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. I GREW UP IN THE CIRCUS. [screaming] AND CUT. That clip is dope. Wait, you're not really going to use that, right? That was a private moment. Sure was. Real embarrassing, too. Let's see it again. After seriously busting up Batman, the only thing Robin could feel sorry for was himself.
It's not fair. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. I GREW UP IN THE CIRCUS. MEANWHILE, other contestants prepared for their auditions with talents ranging from mindblowing to heartwarming. Oh, well done, Mr. Sparkles. I have always loved the small felines. We do not have them where I come from. You see, I am not from here. I am from a far off world. The planet Tamaran. There I was a princess next in line to become queen of the entire planet. But I was betrayed by my own sister. She exiled me from my planet and I came to the earth where I fell in love with these sweet little balls of the fur.
Hello, I am Starfire. For your consideration, I present the circus of the felines. The tada. Through the hoop, Mr. Sparkles. Through the hoop. Hooray. I'm in THE FINAL ROUND. [screaming] YEAH. ALL RIGHT. NICE MOVE. LOVE IT. WELL, DAD, what did you think? I think you're a fantastic dancer, my little sweetie kids. Oh, so much feeling. So much emotion. Oh, give your daddy a huggy.
Okay, that's enough. What? She gets voted in for some lame dance? My act was way better than that. Dang. Hey, STOP FILMING MY PRIVATE MOMENTS. MAN, YOU BEING REAL JERKY RIGHT NOW. AND DIDN'T YOU GET KICKED OFF ALREADY? YES, but I really feel LIKE I DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE. Or does he? What? She gets voted in for some lame dance? My act was way better than that. THAT WAS EDITED TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD. YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A SECOND CHANCE. They need to get to know the real me. The one with an even sadder backstory than before.
Coming up, we have a pity forte for Robin. Right now, my name is Robin and I didn't have a regular childhood. I grew up on a farm with my grandpappy. It's hard work tending the corn fields, especially on account of the crows always stealing our crop. When the corn was gone, they went and flew off with cramps. Dang. Sounds like you're making all this up, yo. No, it's all true and very sad. [clears throat] Seemed like things couldn't get any worse until one day a meteor came down and destroyed the farm. But if I win this competition, I CAN REBUILD THE family farm. When I think of everything my old grandappy has done for
me, it brings a tear to my eye. Oh, you poor little farmer boy. Thank you. Sounds like a truckload of wick whack. But it was pretty tragic, so I guess you deserve a second chance, bro. Yes. Hi, I'm back. This time I will dazzle you with feats of magic. Hey, I haven't EVEN STARTED YET. STOP THAT. You can't just LET ME DO MY ACT. Abra kadabra. [screaming] FLY. YOU STUPID BIRD. FLY. [groaning] OKAY. UH, for my next trick, I will make this $20 bill disappear and reappear in your wallet.
Go ahead, take a look. You can keep that. Consider it a bribe. These new gutters are about to get the surprise of a lifetime when they see the final team enter the competition. What up? H in the house. CRIMINAL FILTH. TITANS GO. [screaming] Check yourselves before you wreck yourselves, homies. They ain't here to beef. They're here to get down. You mean the hive is in the competition? But this is supposed to be for heroes only. Keep the rule book and slow your roll.
Yo, there ain't nothing here that says villains can't compete. THIS IS CRAZY. WE KNOW THAT we're not exactly welcome here, but we're not up to anything bad. The Hive may not be heroes, but when it comes to singing and dancing, we got it going on. [screaming] We're here as performers. We came to win fair and square, baby. THE HIVE CANNOT BE TRUSTED. THEM DIRTY villains going to cheat the FIRST CHANCE THEY GET. WATCH. And you can tell them we said that. The Titans said we're going to cheat. You should be more worried about them.
They're the cheaters. them hives is the only team in this competition that can beat us. I can only imagine the fate of the world if they were somehow declared the second best team in the DC universe. You don't have to imagine. I can show you. Azeroth met. You mean if the HIVE WINS, NOTHING WILL CHANGE AT ALL? LIFE WILL GO ON EXACTLY AS IT IS NOW? THE OUTCOME OF THE contest will have no impact upon the future. I'm afraid so. [screaming] PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, TITANS. THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT STAKE. WE CAN'T LOSE OUR CALL.
WE NEED AN OPENING NUMBER TO PUT US ON TOP. FRIENDS, PERHAPS IT is time to use our secret weapon. The me. No, we ain't that desperate yet, Ringo. We're going with the solid gold hits. That's right, a classic dance known as, wait for it, the booty scooty. Coming up, the Teen Titans will perform a dance they made famous. But first, the Hive is going to do that same dance. What? THEY DOING OUR DANCE? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. THEY'RE CHEATING. Peep the rule book. YO, I WILL NOT PEEP THE RULE BOOK, YO.
THEY CAN'T DO THIS. YOU GOT IT TWISTED. YO, they can and they are. Check it to check it. Scoot your booty. And I do the booty. Scooty. Scoot your booty. That booty. And I do the booty. Scooty. Scoot. That booty. Scoot your booty. Booty and I do the booty. Scoot your booty. That booty and I do the booty. What? Simple crash moves by THE HIVE. NOT SURE I'D want to bite their style and follow that dance with the same dance. We knew you would cheat. What are you talking about? That was our dance.
Really? What a funny coincidence. It ain't funny. NOR IS A COINCIDENCE. IT IS CLEAR EVIDENCE OF SOME CHEATERY SHENANIGANS. YEAH, we did their dance. Someone should tell them they don't own the booty scooty. I don't see their names on these booties. [screaming] You better find something. Do I have to remind you of the state? [screaming] I don't want to live IN A WORLD THAT IS EXACTLY THE SAME WHEN THIS IS OVER. IF THEY DON'T WINS, WHO'S GOING TO WAKE UP TOMORROW FEELING NO REGRET OR
EXCITEMENT ABOUT THIS WHOLE EVENT. FRIENDS, it seems we have finally arrived at the last resort. Now is the time for the Ringo to save the day. And I am the ready Titans. I am the ready. We can't send you out there, Star. Why the not? Am I not the Ringo of the group? You are, but Ringo wasn't the best one in his group. He wasn't even the second best. Or the birds. Looks, we loves you, girl, but this be a song in a dance competition, and you ain't the song in a dance type.
I see. Then what can we do? We have only one option left. We cheat. But the hive has been stealing from us the whole time. And that gives us the right to resort to illegitimate tactics. I'm down for being a cheater. I'M A PARTY ANIMAL. GOOD PARTY animal because you are going to switch the winning envelope with this one guaranteeing our victory. I would rather lose as the Ringo than win as the cheat. CHEAT ALL DAY. CHEAT ALL NIGHT. WHAT IS she doing? No. WHAT YOU GOT FOR US, home girl?
Mr. Rang, I shall perform the special song that makes the happy feelings. Oh man, this is going to be a train wreck. Give it up, y'all. I am the Ringo. [snorts] attraction. It'll put a spell on you. Ooh. Lights, camera, action, fashion. Bright lights make you say, "Ooh, ooh, ooh." I'm dripping in diamonds and purs every night's like Hollywood out with my girls. Pulling up in these fancy cars. Getting treated all night like superstars. We love these flashing lights, stared crazy nights. Diving into the seas full of cash. Living this high life ain't so bad. Oh, this is the highlight. Oh, lights, camera, action. Feel the
attction. It put a spell on you. Action fashion bright. Wow. Just wow. The judges are going to have a hard time picking a winner after that performance. What? Wow. Who knew? That girl is full of surprises. I am so the happy that I was able to share my special song. The Justice League. You expect us to compete against them? The show's getting stale, home slice. Turns out you can't do the same thing every year and expect people to care. If the Justice League are competing, who are the judges?
Their pets, of course. Jumpa, Storm, Krypto, and Batcow. Give it up for your judges, y'all. We can't compete against the Justice League. They are called the world's greatest heroes for the good reason. Clearly, we're trash compared to those guys. And you know them pet judges is going to be biased. That's right. Yo, none of you can compete with the Justice League. You fools better bounce unless you want to be humiliated on national television. Why ain't you leaving? Did you not hear me say we are trash? Because I've got an ace up my sleeve.
The perfect song that's going to win this competition. THIS AIN'T EVEN GOT LYRICS, FOOL. That's because it's jazz. The ace up your sleeve is jazz. Jazz is for dads. It is the musical nonsense. Robin, jazz has been scientifically proven to relax the body and dazzle the mind. I plan to use that science to give the most amazing performance the DC universe has ever seen. But I can't do it alone. I need a drummer. Who's with me? The no one. Why not? You're terrible to work with. Good luck finding someone easily manipulated and eager to please.
You know, Beast Boy, you'd be perfect for this if you had any talent. WHAT? I GOT TALENTS. OH, so it's your dream to be the best jazz drummer ever. It is now. I don't believe you. You just got to give me a chance. Yo, I'll prove it. Are you going to work harder than you've ever worked for anything? YES. SAY IT AGAIN. YES. What did I just agree to? I never knew it was my dream to be a JAZZ DRUMMER UNTIL ROBIN STARTED SCREAMING IN MY FACE.
THE IMPORTANT thing about manipulating the weak-minded is making them feel like everything is their idea. Time to get this competition started, y'all. Our first contestant isn't a bird or a plane. He's Superman. Yo. A man. He's doing the flying through the space thing. Does he even breathe? Wow, a super performance from the man of steel. How are we supposed to compete with that? We cannot. We will be in the stocks of laughing more than we already are. It's okay, Titans. Remember, we've got THE POWER OF JAZZ on our side.
Give me a beat. Stop. You're a little off. Try it again. Stop. Not quite the right tempo. Try it again. Stop. It's a little fast. Stop. It's a LITTLE SLOW. STOP. IT'S FAST AGAIN. STOP. IT'S SLOW AGAIN. STOP. IT'S FAST. STOP. IT'S SLOW. [screaming] FAST. SLOW. Do you know why I just threw a table at your head? cuz he's A CRAZY CONTROL FREAK. That's exactly right.
