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Good morning to you all. My name is Jack Septic and welcome back to Happy Wheels. Oh no, little Billy. Yes, speed is key. That 's how Dad got all this. Speed is key. Yes, I think I'm back. Good morning, ladies. My name is Jack Septic Guy and welcome back to Happy Wheels. [__]. Okay, I'm playing Happy Wheels because it's on Steam. Is there a Steam version of Happy Wheels after what, 24 years? Okay, let's, um, explore levels, I guess. What appears first? Easy Spikeall. I mean, we have to do it, right? Or an extreme "bottle run". Let's get straight to the point.
Come on, oh, [__] you. What's back here? I don't trust anything, oh God. Yes, that's why. Oh my God. All the buttons are there, they're in my brain. I didn't even remember what half of this [__] was doing in the canyon. Oh my God. Okay, let's do it normally then. Okay. An absolute legend. The king has returned. Here we go. The king should have stayed out. [__]. [__]. That's bad. It's not that bad. Okay. We can do it. Look. Awful. What if only.? Oh. I did both. I had my cake and ate it at the same time. I hurt myself and I won. Straight into a "bottle run".
Bottle run. Oh, it has to be a million. Here we go. Speed is key. And it certainly was. I've never felt better. I want to do it again. Poppy. No, Poppy. No. Here we go. [__] you, Billy. With my face. Face first. Straight to the finish line. Oh my God. I feel like I'm 26 again. Holy God. Long spike fall. Oh, it has to be my boy Segue Steve. The other way around. Yes, I think so. Okay. Take it easy. I believe, I believe in Steve. No more. Okay. Too easy. It's because in my last food video, I said I no longer believed in Steve. That was just a joke. I truly believe in Steve. I swear. See? Okay. There's a lump there
. You just have to try it out. Good. I'm the [__] boss. [__]. It feels good. It feels so good to be back. Promising start. Die 10 times. Now we have achievements. This is amazing. Ball throwing. I love ball throwing. I only play the classics. I don't care what the new Happy Wheels meta is Hey, maybe I should care a little. You see, all the kids playing this now, damn it. They do n't understand. No, they were not there when the sacred texts were written. Mini balls. Okay, thanks. The mini balls suck. That feels so good. I need a sword throw. Give me a Sword throw minus one. Yes. Let's go. Holy [__]. Oh, yes. Excalibur. Throw a sword at someone's head. Dude, I did n't know we had a chos. Okay.
No, I must kill them all. Everyone dies. Yes. 5.8 seconds. I bet you've never seen a score or time like that in your life because you're useless and a piece of [__], and I'm better than you. Smash Timmy. Difficult sword throw. What does that mean? What's so difficult about it? I failed at everything. Don't kill her. Okay. Well, I killed her immediately. Okay. I have it. Okay. Hands up, Steve. Hands up. That's ok. The toilet kills him. [__]. That will make it much more difficult. Yes. Well, you 're already dead. Straight up the ass. How am I supposed to kill her to win?
Oh, take down the wall. I see. You know, when I figure it out, nobody does it better. We always used to do a weekly rating when I used to play. Not a single level of Jacksepticeye. How the greats have fallen. YouTube's garbage factory, that's for sure. Hey, that counts. That's me all over. Okay. No rules to follow. No real videos. No appeals for banned accounts. Without real people. Okay. Well, I'm breaking the rules. They're meant to be broken. Hit a nose. A nose and off you go. Okay. There's no time to read that. I'm sorry. I don't read. I'm a YouTuber. Okay. Don't demonetize yourself like most of my Happy Wheels series.
This probably is too. Oh, Billy. Okay. Meditation room. I don't mind. Gentlemen of YouTube. What's exploding? What 's exploding? I'm afraid. Go to hell, Billy. Here we go. Mashed potato maker. Okay. Again. I'm not reading. I'm not reading. No need to read. I've already forgotten how. Oh, God. Hey, can I still win? It's possible. Okay, thanks, Billy. Go to hell with your little phrase. Go to hell, you damn fool. Okay, here we go. Okay, the burdens of fatherhood no longer weigh me down. This is going to be very easy. Oh, [__]. Oh. It's just an arm. You don't need it. Get out of my damn way. I am a father without children
and I must win. He would have wanted this. He achieves victory as a grieving father. I told you that life is better without children. All you have is free time, extra money, and a smile on your face. Sword Throw 2011. Remembrance of 2011. This is even before my time. This is.where the hell did that go? Good. He committed Sudoku. Good. Excellent. Yes. I didn't expect that to work. Okay. Well, we can do it without having to kill anyone. Oh, Willie, I almost caught you. Well, you have to break eggs to make an omelet. Okay, take your damn hands off there. Come on, Steve. Boy.
Okay. Okay, I can do it without hitting anyone. Well, I have to hit someone. Just practicing. Play 10 levels. Okay, get out of my damn face. Your hand is stuck again. What's the matter? Good. I feel good about that. Bottle race on Steam. You created a bottle race just for Steam. Do it. I've bet my pension on you. Okay, I'll leave my son with you. Son of a [__]. I'll leave my son with you. Actually, go ahead, Billy. heavens. That was intense. My God. Don't you feel well? The sounds. Some of you are now like 20 years old watching this again and haven't seen Happy Wheels since you were like 16, 15, 10 years old. I've been doing this for a long time. If you're 20
years old right now, I've been doing this since you were six. My God, it's been so long doing YouTube, man. I would n't want it any other way. Oh, but those sounds are going to hit you and you'll say, "Oh my god, what a rainbow ball-throwing flashback." I'm playing the same types of levels because that's what I enjoyed most when I was making YouTube videos. Okay. Does that help me? No, not at all. Get the damn thing.Get the damn thing.I can still do it, though. Look. That feels good. There's one called " speed is key". You really care. My God. Oh my god. Okay, let's try again. Keep it upright. Keep it tense. Jesus. It simply never stopped moving forward again. Good. Oh, that feels good. It feels good to be a winner.
Oh, god. Christ. One more victory. Another victory with speed. Speed is key. I want to win with speed. Yes. You can still win. God, that feels so good. A minor setback. He loses 50 limbs. Sword Throwing Remake. It's going to be one sword throw after another in this video. Decaffeinated. And I wouldn't want it any other way. You know, sword throws were always some of the best types of levels. Good. I walked over them. Okay. You.right, right in the throat. Wait, what's wrong with you back there? Oh, my leg. And uh. No. Okay. Impossible levels. These were always.very difficult. Oh, sweet Jesus. I mean, otherwise they wouldn't be called impossible levels, right? And he succeeds on the first try.
He succeeds on the first try. Has there ever been a Happy Wheels player like him? Alone at the top. Oh I'm sorry. It's difficult being king. Pogo at 10 meters high. Oh, because these are the achievements. Well, that's an easy achievement to accomplish, I suppose. More massacre. Yes. Larry the lawnmower. The limit of shapes was reached, the limit of shapes. If you don't think that's enough destruction, blame Jim Bonacci or reboot.
My God. Christ. Okay, they're definitely going to remove the monetization from that one. We have to censor that. Times have changed since the last time we did one of these. Incredible bottle launch. Yes, I forgot about these. My God. Can you imagine if I succeeded on the first try? and back again and I win and again. Okay, here we go. And I win. No. [__]. [__]. Ah. Okay. Easy victory. Okay, that's fine. At least. Oh my God. Oh, I just tapped the bottle a little. Oh, [__] yeah. I'm at my peak. You'd better believe you're glad you ca n't see under this part of my camera. Distance achievement. Oh, is it just
to get it cheap? Speed is key. Speed is key, it's an achievement. I'm in the game. Jesus Christ, that's intense. I'm in the game. Speed is key. That's me. Achievement. Come on. I'm immortalized in Happy Wheels. This is better than anything else I've done in my career. To hell with the Bloodborne movie. This is better. [__]. That 's great. Wow, my 24-year-old self would have been thrilled. My 36-year-old self is [__] excited. That's crazy. Wrong tool for the job. No. We can't. Look, it 's not 2014 anymore. Oh, rope swings. I love rope swings. I think I like making them like Pogo Pete. Um. Oh, okay. Damn, that's
difficult. Damn, that's tough for a loser. Damn. For a loser. Oh, that feels good. I want to rub peanut butter on my nipples. I'm so excited to be back playing. Ooh, I'll go fight Billy. Yes. Here we go. Okay. I don't know what happened. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Boom. I crushed you with my butt. How does that feel? And I do it again. Good. Okay, it's going to get difficult. Jesus. Get out of here. Oh, shove it up your damn face. And again. Nice backflip. I smashed your face. I'm the best that's ever been done. Unbuttoned. Okay, I need to be careful here. The moment he falls, it's death. Okay, back off a little. Step back a little. Go again.
Oh, no. Okay. That's ok? One more time. Good. She did it, [__]. Is that what he says? Good. Don't hit me. Yes. No. Wait. What if it just couldn't have been more perfect? Your head crossed the finish line and separated from you. It was right in the middle. Oh, let's try again. Let 's try again. That was good. Oh God, this is scary. Okay, stop ramming him, damn it. Yes. No. Good heavens. Oh, jet crashes. I had forgotten about this. Test map for the Steam release. Probability of survival minus 95.
Oh God. Yes, I believe you. But you clearly don't know the power of Jack Boy. Here we go. Oh God. You still don't know if I'm dead. I've seen people come back from worse things. These are the sacrifices we make as parents . [__]. [__]. [__]. Okay, I have to do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [__]. Jesus. [__]. Okay, some of you may die. That's how it's done. Jesus. He's still coming after me. Damn, that's crazy. That? I think I did it. Sword fighting challenge. Try to win. I mean, try to win. Look at the person who is playing. I always win on the first try. Welcome to my first level. Also, sorry about the background. I put Christine's painting all over it. Have fun. Okay, this says it's a
bottle race pumpkin. Are they pumpkins? Those aren't pumpkins. Steam Achievement: Speed is key. I forgot I used to do that from time to time and it made you deaf, it's probably a form of abuse. I could never look for Jack Sept the guy because there wasn't enough room. It 's always Jack Septic. Oh my God. Qualification. Yes. I could, I'm in the qualification process. Oh my God. It's so beautiful. Oh, there are so many levels. Oh my God. 2014, 2015, all of 2014, 2015, the sacred texts, I've found them, in short, the Billy Kill Simulator, have fun player and of course you Jack, I'm going to cry friend, this is, I think I've already played these levels too. A day at the beach, I think so.
Drowned, yes. Damn, yes. Great, new computer. Show me your magic. Catch him, Dad. No problem, son. Please go back. God, that's an Austro Da meme. That's how you know this level is old. I want that one. Jesus. Always death. Always death for you. Spike fall. Only Spike Fall Steve can do it, right? Of course. Did you see that? It's a gold record for a song by Happy Wheels. I didn't write the song, but I provided the material, so I deserve the gold record too. But that's thanks to Happy Wheels. A gold record. Everything is possible. Start making YouTube videos in your bedroom and you two could one day get a gold record for playing Happy Wheels.
, a new helmet, a boat, and lots of toys. Well, you've got Santa's fat butt squashing you instead. Now is your chance to kill Billy yourself. Now go and kill Billy. It doesn't bother me, yes. Oh my God. The story continues. Kill him. Yes. I achieved victory without limbs. And I got the chebo. Thank you so much. Jacksepticeye Spike Fall. Damn, yes. I think I played all these levels a long time ago. Some of these people probably don't even see me anymore. Oh, yes. It's too easy. The Jacksepticeye quiz. Will I ever know any of the answers to this again? I've probably done this before. Yes, I'm pretty sure I did.
What is Jacksepticeye's real name? Good. I know that. If you made a mistake, it was probably Joel's fault. Okay, poor Joel. What kind of jokes does Sean like to play? "That's what she said" jokes, funny jokes, dirty jokes, doge. These aren't "that's what she said" jokes, are they? Was the response doge jokes? Is any of that accurate? What the hell kind of jokes was I making back then? Was I making "I can has cheeseburger" jokes? What fun. How ironic. Disgusting. What does Sean say at the end of each of his videos? My name is Jacksepticeye and I approve this message, and I'll see you all in the next video.
Give everyone a high five. Yes. Is speed key? Technically, speed is not key. Go to hell. Speed is always key. It is greater than or equal to the key. If you answered no, you really need to rethink your life. I agree. Which channel are you going to subscribe to if you have n't already? Jacksepticeye, baby. You'd better subscribe. It's not that subscribers matter anymore, but it 's great. Oh, I miss it. I miss those days. It was much easier back then. Not just in terms of the videos you had to make. You could just sit and play Happy Wheels for 20 minutes and that was already a video. Or maybe life was simply easier back then. Everything was going well. Milhouse, except for the guy who runs. Only one person for the job. Too
fast. Too fast. You can't hit me. Okay, you can hit me a little. Holy God. Jack bottle run. Is septic eyes over? It would be so cool if you could do that. Press control to unleash Billy like a boss. Check out the guy on YouTube. And remember, speed is key. There you have it. Okay, there you have it. Stay. God, even when you have little attachment, you have attachment problems. Get out of the way. Okay. This is your fault. Never have children. Oh God. And I was crushed and you survived. That's a load of [__] Damn.
There you have it. Get off me. Oh God. Yes. Jay-Z boss spikefall. I love spikefall, damn it. The spikefalls are the best thing that's ever happened to Happy Wheels. Oh Jesus. Oh, that's not good. Okay, one that's a little different. Mandatory, I think. No, no, no, no. Okay, we need to go a little faster. That's too fast. Said someone who is lying. JC bottle run hard. Foolishness. The only difficult thing here is my dick after winning. Difficult. Get out of here. What the hell is a ball fall? Jay-Z. Ball toilet fall. Okay. Then you can't overcome this. What, oh, do I just have to go through the balls? Oh, that's easy. That's very easy. I don't even have to try. Here come the
toilets. And here come the toilets. Okay. Good. Making progress. Oh. Okay. Not upside down. That's a damn bad idea. Okay. And the goal is right there. Come on. Give me a challenge. This is too easy. Okay. What is the highest rating of all time on Happy Wheels? Click Parkour 3. Chainsaw Man, 10 Ways to Die. Create a meme face. Oh my God, these aren't that old. One of the 20-26 levels. Oh, it's just tic-tac-toe. Click parkour. [__]. English, please. Uh, Steve. Oh. Oh man, that 's crazy. How did you do that? What the hell? Okay, now I understand why you have such a good grade, because that's crazy. I don't need to hold the box. Okay, maybe so. Oh. Oh, am I supposed to have it? Ah, to release the box. Oh my God. Okay.
. Okay. Now I'm stuck. It doesn't matter. I would n't have been able to go there anyway. Wait, what the hell do I have to do to get through there? I need the blue key. But the blue key is all the way down here. I'm not going. Cake? Okay, you know what? This is too quiet. It's too quiet. My voice is recovering and I don't want that. Spike drop, mega long. I always like these. The spike falls are what I like the most. But if it's mega long, that means you have to. Oh, you have to skirt around that edge. And sometimes you have to give it like a little. Oh, it's not enough. Okay, maybe I can just.No, I'm slowing down too much. Okay. Steve with spikes. Here we go. That's ok. Not at all. This is going to be difficult. This
will require all my skills. This will require everything I've learned from Happy Wheels over the years. Everything I've learned will come into play here. Oh my God, I'm nervous. Oh my God, it feels so good. Okay, that's all for now on Happy Wheels because you don't want to use it all up at once. And my throat starts to hurt from shouting so much. I'm going to practice. Oh, man. Anyway, how fun. Happy Wheels should come back. We should all be playing Happy Wheels. Look, the world is [__] up. Everything is annoying right now and there's so much anger everywhere. Let's go back to the 2014-2016 era and just be happy. But
thank you so much guys for watching this video. If you liked it, smash that like button in the face like a boss, and everywhere else. Christ. I ca n't do it without laughing. Well, thanks guys, and I'll see you all. I
