17:02
I guess there is no buffet at the moment. I've never seen an empty buffet on a cruise ship before. There's usually something. This looks like the hold of a cargo ship. Definitely a lot fancier on every other cruise ship we've ever been on. It smells kind of weird. It smells weird. It smells like varnish. Yeah, I feel like I'm going to get high on the fumes in here. 3 days inside, no sunlight. Yeah, we'll make it work. Good morning, adventures. Good morning. You guys know that we have taken a lot of cruises all over the world. We have been on the largest cruise ship ever built.
Yeah. Twice actually. We've actually done super small luxury ones that are really expensive. But it really got us wondering what would it be like to take one of the cheapest cruises in the US. This isn't one of the cheap. This is the cheapest cruise. Yeah. This is it right here. The cheapest we could possibly find. This is a 3-day cruise on board the Margaritaville at Sea. This ship is called Paradise. And I can't wait to get a little slice of it. But we got to talk about the price. The ticket price is $121 for the 3-day cruise minus a $25 onboard
credit which puts us at a whopping $32 a day. That is cheaper than a meal out in Miami. We didn't pick our room. It was assigned for us. We've never been on here, so we don't know what to expect. But I mean, how bad could it be? I will tell you this, though. If they don't have Margaritaville playing on a loop 24/7, I'm going to be really sad. That actually sounds like maybe my version of hell. Maybe if you pay a little extra, they'll turn it off. It's the old bait and switch. Oh, no way. So, you've seen our videos.
Yeah. You guys were just in Miami like last watch them all. This is our third paradise and we did the Islander. So, okay. So, you like it? I love it. And they did some changes. So, if you're looking for fanciness, no ties for dinner. Oh, yeah. I don't even own any ties, so that's perfect. Well, I guess these are our kind of people cuz two viewers just stopped and they were like, "If you're looking for fanciness, this is not it." No. They said, "You don't ever have to wear ties. It's just laid-back." That is what we're about. Speaking of laid-back, I feel like maybe we're not quite laid-back enough.
All right, now we are officially ready to waste away again in Margarita. All right, cheapest cruise in America, here we come. It's happening. We're boarding. The moment of truth. Everyone's been very pleasant and very nice. The lines have been teeny tiny. There's been no waiting. It's been great. But it can still get worse from here. Oh, it can always get worse, baby. Hello. Thank you. Hi, guys. What are you doing? You made it. Guys, I've never had such a warm welcome on a ship.
Don't know where to go or what to do, so I'm running away. In case you forgot, we have the lyrics to Margaritaville. I blew out my flipflop, stepped on a pop top, that frozen concoction that helps me hang on. Never heard more beautiful, soothing words. That's poetry. Yum. Y'all, we just popped into the restroom real quick. This looks like the hold of a cargo ship or something. Definitely a lot fancier on every other cruise ship we've ever been on, but it gets the job done. Restrooms are pretty bare bones, huh? They're maybe the worst we've ever seen on a cruise ship, but Well, they kind of reminded me of like some of the fairies that we've been on.
It's a little rough, but it's okay. It's only up from here, right? Well, we are officially on board the Margaritavville at Sea. And the first thing we usually like to do when we get on a new cruise ship is to go to the tippity top and just kind of get the lay of the land. Yeah. take it all in from the bird's eye view and then work our way down. So, as kind of expected, the ship is very bare bones. I'd say it's the most bare bones ship that we've ever been on. It's very simple. So little. We're used to such big giant ships. Yeah. But I am digging the astroturf. So, this is the center of the ship where the pool is. And as you can see, it is very simple. Like very minimal chairs.
There's no epic bars. There's the tiniest little pool. Yeah. But I feel like they have to have a bigger pool, right? and at least a slide or something maybe. I mean, we barely discovered the ship. This is what we've seen. So, we booked this very last minute and didn't really uh look into it. So, we have no idea what is on this ship. What is this cheeky little bean doing here? I am just a stareyed British man experiencing American culture at its finest. What do you think so far? I made a friend with Linda. She was cool.
Oh, Linda. Classic. We swap bad knee story. She told me about her trip to London. So, I guess we should probably mention that yes, Alex is back in America. I'm here and I'm alone and I'm I want to say single or ready to mingle, but I'm not. I can mingle, but that doesn't lead to anything. Alex couldn't handle our awesomeness, so he turned awesome himself. What do you think, guys? Oh, heck yeah. My wife's at home and she's jealous right now. Let it all hang out. Yeah. There's a couple of hairs under here. And later on, it's coming out.
Guys, it's officially margarita time. It's happening. Margaritas in Margaritavville. Oh my god. Have you ever watched The Hangover and they like it's like the start of the night and they kind of cheers and then like tomorrow morning where's Alex? That's what's going to happen. He's floating on a mattress in the sea. Yeah. You guys, I am actually a little bit bummed. I paid for a specialty cup. They have these blender cups. So, it looks like you're drinking straight from the blender. I thought that's what I was
getting, but I was getting a recyclable silver cup instead. Then tell them how much the blender cup cost. The blender cup costs 30 USD. I don't know how does this work. That is how it works. You pay the cheap price and then everything's an upgrade. Yeah, that's it. Mhm. When we first boarded, someone yelled out in the background that they have the best margarita on the seven seas. False advertising, y'all. Yeah. It's just pre-made sweet and sour mix. It's very tart, very sweet, but somehow exactly what I want in this moment being on board this ship.
All right, you're going to have to take this goofy hat from me before it blows off my head and into the ocean. This kind of reminds me of the clip from that uh that Seinfeld episode. Uh you know what? Why don't you put it in the car so I don't accidentally toss it in that dumpster. That's kind of how I feel about this. Well, we are officially living that cruise life, baby. Got a margarita in hand and found a lounge chair. Still a little chilly and windy, but the sun is shining. That's why we're not in like full swimsuit attire.
It might be a cold cruise to the Bahamas. Have we said that? We're going to the Bahamas on this. That's an important detail. Yeah. So, we knew this ship was going to be smaller and so, you know, probably less amenities, but boy, am I surprised by the size of the pool. There are two pools that I just assumed were two big hot tubs and then there was a crazy pool with slides somewhere else. No, no, no. And I mean, they do have two hot tubs in the back of the ship. They're very small, so you're gonna have to get very cozy with whoever you're in it with, but they are there.
I mean, people are bringing you drinks. We're gonna get to the buffet. They even have specialty dining, entertainment. There are things to do, and we will do them all. Okay, never mind. I guess there is no buffet at the moment. Yeah, what the heck? I've never seen an empty buffet on a cruise ship before. There's usually something. I smelled something cooking. I think there might be burgers outside, but I thought there's always something on a cruise ship. Maybe they're in transition. Maybe it'll be out shortly. I've only had a margarita. I need to get some food in my belly.
So, this is our first look at the food on board the ship. And uh to be honest, it might not look that appetizing, but this is classic fair that you get on every single ship. When there's nothing else, you can always count on a burger and fries with a pizza. The French fries are super seasoned and delicious. I mean, the burger looks like a classic cheesy burger. Alex was jealous. You had to get down on it, too. It just looks so good. I've had a couple of these. It looks good. So, on the one side, they have this crazy shipping container yard. Very industrial, but it turns out it is very beautiful on the other side of the ship.
There's also just something funny about being on the cheapest cruise ever. And then overlooking what's possibly one of the most expensive yachts ever. It looks like it's going to lift off and go into space. It's going to shoot off like that. And maybe it will. I don't know. I don't have that much money. I don't know how it works. There's something really funny about the intensity of this music and the vibe is not matching the music. Can you smell weed everywhere?
YEAH, EVERYWHERE. IT'S NOT LEGAL. It's happening. We have officially set sail. Leaving port was a bit different than our last cruise. If you guys didn't catch that video, we cruised on the largest cruise ship in the entire world. It was just a little more epic. Everyone crowded to the back of the ship to catch that iconic Miami skyline as we left. But on this ship, everyone was partying in the middle. Nobody was out back taking photos or anything. It's not about that stuff here. It's about the party on the ship. You know what I mean? Yes, that is exactly. People are just here to have a good time. They don't care about the views. All right. We have been told we can go to our room, which
you guys Uh-huh. I mean, that's where the magic happens. Is that not the most appropriate room? The moment of truth. Oh, it smells weird. It smells like varnish. Yeah. Like I just painted something. Okay. Well, it is a room. It is very motel. Like this is definitely the simplest room we've ever been in. Oh, is there like a bed? Oh, there's a bed pit in there. Beds in the Okay, so Okay, we'll have to get back to that. But there's a bed in the wall there. That's pretty cool. It smells like a fresh coat of varnish on something. I
feel like I'm going to get high on the fumes in here. Because we wanted to see what the cheapest ticket was like, we didn't pick our room. It was picked for us. And it's an interior room, which we don't love. If I get a bit seasick and it's very nice to be able to walk out on the deck. Also, it would be very nice to air this room out. Yeah. Okay. 3 days inside, no sunlight. Yeah, we'll make it work. So, as you guys have seen, this room is very bare bones, but it does have a little seating area with a little chair. So, technically, there is a workstation. There's this little bar area over here that has a ton of storage that has like a big closet that you can put all your junk in. So, that's pretty good. And
then on this back side here, you guys saw there's a bed here, but it says don't mess with this unless you have assistance. So, we're going to leave that alone. And then a little closet here that has a bunch more shelves. So, lots of storage. Surprisingly, the bathroom is surprisingly spacious. There is plenty of room to move around in here. But the toilets in the corner and then they have their little circular shower with a bunch of shelves built into it. The sink is super simple, but the countertop I think is actually real stone. Well, it looks like a normal cruise ship bathroom, but does it sound like one?
I'd say that's like a seven out of 10. We've had some that are 10 out of 10, but these toilets always sound like freaking monsters, man. Hello, luggage. All right, bring it on in. Thank you so much. The tickets might be cheap, but the service is not. It is exactly like every other cruise. Everyone is so attentive and so sweet and so nice. Was that cool? It was really cool. Well, of course they have a king-siz bed for the king and the queen of the ship.
We're on the fourth floor. We're the lowest floor before like the medical unit. We're the people on the Titanic that would be trying to like swim our way out of here. And I would expect nothing less than the tackiest island vibes artwork that is most likely AI generated. Something looks a little fishy about it. Wait a second. Is there a tattoo studio on board? Am I about to get a tattoo at Margaritaville? Does it have to say Margaritaville? Is that something you want to have on your body forever? Yeah, for sure. I mean, you don't have to get a Margaritaville tattoo, I guess.
Should I just get flip-flops? Oh, there you go. Turns out we're uh missing our bag. They don't know where it is. He said all the bags are gone. We don't have any red bags. And mine's red. So, we're on a journey to find it. Found the bag, which is great cuz that's where all of our electronics are. That would have been bad. Very important bag. But now I think we're going to try to switch rooms cuz I don't think we can sleep in that room. There's too strong of a paint smell. And he did confirm that they just freshly redid the bathroom, which is why it looks so nice, but a little stinky. All right, we found our bag. We got new rooms. We are going up now to the seventh floor.
Bye, Leonardo. Hello, Kate Winsland. Now all I need is a steamy car in the luggage area. E, lucky room number two. No varnish smell. Oh, you guys, we have a room with a window. Oh my god, it feels so luxurious after being in the hold. I know. This is so fancy. No smell, a view. All right, now we're cruising the cruise line. Even though this ship is pretty small, apparently there is a lot of stuff to do on board and we have hardly seen any of it. So, I think it is time to go become explorers. So, as you guys already saw, there is a tattoo parlor, which we have never seen on any other ship before. Of course, it wouldn't be a cruise ship without a casino, baby. Maybe I mentioned this, but they gave me a $25
onboard credit, and I really want to see if I can use that in the casino. Think they'll let me do that? Putting it all on red or black? Probably red. They of course have a theater. Every good cruise ship has a theater. And this one is pretty nice. I'm really digging the red on here. They have a dueling piano bar, and I thought that was all the entertainment they had. I think we're going to get some good stuff. Oh, yeah. This looks pretty good. Yeah. Okay. For 30 bucks, cannot go wrong. Cuz you don't have to pay for the shows, do you?
Okay. We might need to check on You might have to pay for the after show. I don't know how to wink. What is that supposed to be? I don't know if you want moss, you know. All right. So, this is what it's like to be on the stage. I much prefer it down there. They also have a coffee bar, which is sadly not included. But I'm kind of getting the impression that nothing is included. And that's how they make up the price of the ticket. But I will tell you, they have some pretty delicious
looking ice cream gelato stuff over there. Oh, you going to treat me tonight, sir? No. If it costs money, no. We're trying to do a cheap cruise this time. Do you think you need this shirt? Oh, I don't know. You're You're more of a sweet beach. I can be a little salty sometimes. You guys, we found the gift shop. Oh my god. I've never seen so much Margaritaville merch in one place. Oh man, so many puns. It's wonderful.
I feel like this whole business is just a conspiracy to sell Margaritaville merch. This is it. And I think it works pretty well. They also have a nightclub, but nobody's here because it's 7:30, but that's not going to stop me. That's the thickest stripper pool ever. I don't know. I'm trying. Aren't there moves you can do on it? Not on that pole. They actually have a pretty decent fitness center, y'all. But it is the one place on the ship that we found where flip-flops are not allowed. But we didn't bring any athletic footwear. So, we're not going to be working out on this trip. I said that, but as I'm
speaking, there are two people working out in flip-flops right behind me. So, just shows you the vibe of this ship. No one really cares what the heck you do. They might have tiny pools, maybe not that many flying dining or dining options in general, but one thing they are not lacking on this ship are bars. I think we counted there are five, six, maybe seven bars on board. Yeah. You can basically close your eyes, put your hand out, someone will put a margarita into it. Oh, yeah. or a tequila soda cuz I can't do any more of the sugar, y'all.
It's like a strip down margarita anyway. Right. Basically. Yeah. You guys, the sun is setting. It's looking pretty good out there. All right, it's night one in the dining room and tonight seems to be Cajun night. So, we got some jumbolaya. It looks pretty good. A nice little hefty portion. I love on cruise ships cuz they always do the appetizer, the main, and dessert. Feels so fancy. By how it looks, I just couldn't tell if it's good or horrible. The flavor's totally fine. sausage is a little dry, maybe overcooked, but on a cruise like this, I don't know that I would have expected anything more. I It has flavor, and I'm impressed by that.
I don't know what you guys were expecting, but I was expecting a whole hell of a lot worse than this. This looks better than what we've had on like Royal Caribbean and MSE and stuff. I really thought that there wouldn't be sit down dining, or if it was, it would just be like spaghetti. I got the jerk chicken. What did you get? The pork tenderloin. So, sure. It looks pretty freaking delicious. But does it taste delicious? It's sweet, spicy. The chicken is nice and tender. It's just better in every way than I ever thought. I think that's the beauty of this cruise is that my
expectation was so low that everything seems awesome. So, dinner is all done and the show should be starting soon. We just need to find the theater. How would I be so happy? You guys, the show is over and we're literally just searching for the party. I'm ready to party. And I'm asking anyone, is there a party? For some reason, I thought because it's Margaritavville, I thought there would just be a party everywhere, but it's kind of dead. The more I drink, I think the more British I become. Is there a party anywhere? Yeah, the British man wants to party.
You guys, this whole cruise is just like empty all of a sudden. It's kind of creeping me ghost. It could be a sign to go to bed, but I'm taking karaoke. It's karaoke. Well, we officially found the party. It's karaoke. We got there's maybe 20 people in here and there's not enough alcohol to get me up there. So, I'm switching the water. I'm the cervous wasting away again in Margaritaville. You know, I have not heard that song play once today. Me neither. Isn't that crazy? I did hear a guy with a steel drum kind of like do the diddy a little bit, but I don't
think he played the whole song. I've heard it more from your mouth than this whole cruise. And this cruise is called Margaritavville. Well, someone's got to sing it. No, they don't. They don't have to. But seriously, y'all, we have actually had a blast on our first day on board the Margaritaville at Sea. I feel like this has been the most social cruise that we've ever been on. Like, everyone wants to hang out with you. Everyone wants to talk to you. I've never been a big Jimmy Buffett fan, but it's like that vibe is captured on this ship.
It is exactly as you would think. Yeah. Because he talks about like flip flops in the song. You can literally wear flip flops to the dining area, to the show, whereas on a typical cruise, you have to dress all up for that. Yeah. You're not really allowed to wear flip flops. I love that. It's great. And of course, bringing Alex along for this is awesome because he's never seen anything like this. It's great having somebody here to remind us that Americans can be pretty wacky and weird sometimes and I love it. So, this is a short cruise. It's only 3 days, but it is just beginning cuz this is only day one.
Day one. Yeah. We have a full day at sea tomorrow and then a day in the Bahamas and then heading back. Wamp. All right. Goodbye, adventurers. We'll see you on the road. The high seas. We'll see you on the high seas.
