Life Lessons and Why It Matters

I turned 36 a few weeks ago, and I entered this new era with a big bang. I celebrated with the closest people in my life and had a wonderful time. But before I got too carried away, I wanted to make sure I had time to sit and reflect. As a gift to myself and a reminder of how far I've come. So, here are the main lessons I want to take with me into the new year of my life. The first lesson is to confront whatever you are avoiding, because eventually it will get to the point where you can no longer ignore it. It's no secret that I went through several dark years after my divorce. But the biggest habit that emerged was that I was constantly putting things off, and I just got used to rolling up the "life tabs" in my brain. But the thing is, if you ignore

something, it doesn't mean it will go away. I imagined it as the digestive system. Every thing you do is something you have to " swallow," right? And if you don't follow them, they don't move forward. So every unfinished task only increases your "indigestion" because they accumulate. And eventually you get to a point where you're kind of spiritually "constipated," and that's exactly how I felt. so bad all the time. On my 35th birthday, I got to the point where I said to myself, "I really can't live like this anymore." So I sat down at the table, wrote out a list of everything I was running away from, and then took out my calendar. I started assigning tasks to specific dates. And you know what the craziest thing is? What

I had been struggling with for months, I was able to complete in a few days. And the relief I felt.oh my god, it was literally like I took a laxative or something. The reality of the situation was so insignificant compared to what my fear was painting for itself. I felt like I was trapped. I thought I had reached a dead end. I thought it was impossible. But therein lies the danger of procrastination. She makes you feel this way because you get caught in this vicious circle. But once you clearly define exactly how you want to handle it, oh my, you just ask yourself, "Why didn't I do this sooner?" So my main lesson is: if there's something you can deal with right now, just do it. And if it's something you can't control, then you have to

let it go. I've been told many times that I'm troubled, and those rumors are unfortunately true. I like to be busy, so judge me. But, uh, if I'm honest with myself, I realize that I was using being busy as a defense mechanism. When I went to Korea with my parents on their annual trip, I suddenly had a lot of free time without any obligations. I didn't have to cook for anyone, there was nothing to clean, there were no deadlines, and you would think I would be over the moon. No, in fact, it made me deeply uncomfortable. I caught myself making an overly detailed itinerary for Jeju until I realized: girl, Jen, just stop. Stop planning, just live. So, while I was sitting alone with my thoughts in Korea, I realized that I have a tendency to desire what I do

n't have. Like, for example, before a trip to Los Angeles, I wrote in my diary: "Oh, I feel so stuck." Every day is similar to the previous one. It's " Groundhog Day." I can't wait to break out of my routine. And as soon as I landed in Korea, I realized I was homesick. I miss Lennon. I miss Chickie. I miss my bed. I was actually confronted with the truth: if you can't be happy where you are right now, you wo n't be happy anywhere. Because wherever you go, you take yourself with you. And as soon as I realized this thought, I decided: I have to enjoy this right now. I'm with my parents, my aunts and uncles, whom I haven't seen in so long. And as wonderful as this journey was, I had to accept that it would be Let's talk about pouring out emotions,

because I, for one, love a good confession session. This seems correct. This brings relief. And I firmly believe that when you keep everything to yourself, it doesn't do you any good. But I realized that too many complaints only perpetuate this story. It's really just wasting your anger, because anger is n't necessarily a bad thing. It's like your inner security guard saying, "Hey, something's wrong." Someone's boundaries were violated. It's just taking care of you. This is information as well as fuel. But when you just sit and complain about the same thing over and over again, you waste that fuel without solving anything. This can become a form of obsessive thinking where you simply injure yourself over and over again. And if you're just repeating the

same story, how else are you going to change your perspective? Today my approach is completely different. If a minor inconvenience occurs and I can resolve the problem while I'm complaining about it, I do n't say anything at all . I don't even get a word in edgewise I might roll my eyes, but I'll just do what needs to be done. That's all. And I just keep living. And if it's something that's really bothering me, I take my journal, write it all down, sleep with that thought in mind, and if I'm still fixated on it, I call a friend. Of course, it is important to warn in advance. For example: "Hey, do you have 15 minutes so I can talk?" And after that, I usually move on. And, of course, there is also therapy. Anyway, I've

gotten to the point where I no longer let bad moments linger in my head for long. This year I organized " Sober January" again, I like this habit. This is a beautiful ritual. I feel like I'm starting the year with a clean slate, and I've learned something about alcohol. Drinking alcohol is very similar to gambling. To win, you need to know when to leave the table. But the trap is always the same. When you're doing well and you're on a roll, it's very hard to stop. As for me, after the fourth, fifth, sixth glass I'm "done". No matter how much fun I have, no matter how crazy things happen, if in the morning the hangover is the only thing I really remember. It completely covers all impressions. After turned 30, my body keeps strict records. I

just can't afford what I used to be able to afford. At the same time, I have not completely given up alcohol yet. I like dry white wine with dinner. I love the Hugo Spritz cocktail. But I treat it like exchanging chips for money. I'm learning to understand when the evening has reached its peak and it's time to collect my winnings. For example, last weekend I was at the Portola Music Festival. Guess who left first? Itself. It was the last day. I left at 8:00 PM alone. Everyone was shocked. They asked, "Jen, are you okay?" And I replied: "Yes, everything is fine. It's just time for me to go home." And you have no idea how good it was to

get your dose of extroversion, listen to music, and just lie in bed. This truly changed the rules of the game. At this point in my life, the two qualities I really look for in a friendship are trust and non-judgment. Don't get me wrong. I adore friends who are funny, smart, and tell the best stories. But if I can't trust you, you simply won't be in my inner circle. For me, trust is a feeling of security next to a person. I feel confident knowing that you will accept me for who I am. I've also learned that being a better friend means talking a little less, especially when your friends are going through something difficult. Just ask a few pertinent questions before trying to impose advice. My friends and I are great at taking turns containers" for each other. If

someone needs to vent, express their feelings, or work through a problem they are facing. I often feel like a big vessel where I listen to them, ask questions, and at the very end, I put in my two cents. But you have to do it without expecting them to change, you know? Just say, "You should do this." It's that simple. But you can't demand change from them. They will change when they want to. Of course, there are exceptions. If your friend does something that is surprising and you say, " God, I'm really worried about you." Let them know about it. You know, you're not their therapist. You also have to be honest with them. Well, if they want to hear the bitter truth, you should tell it too. This is what it means to be a friend.

It's about knowing when to listen, when to challenge, and when to reassure. I don't know. Being a friend, you try on many roles. But in any case, in the end, the main pillars of friendship are trust and non-judgment. It took me a long time to get used to spending an evening alone. Because when I had a free evening, I agreed to everything. Yes to parties, events, dinners. I was there. I just thought, "Oh, I'm such an extrovert." But if I'm honest with myself, I think I was just really uncomfortable being alone. Because when you raise children together, the contrast is too stark. You are transitioning from a day full of energy, noise, toys, and constant care. And then, when the children are with the other parent, there is

absolute silence. It's like a deafening silence, and you just feel an incredible emptiness. And I just didn't know how to deal with it. I started to really romanticize my alone time and look forward to it. It would be a lie to say, "Oh my God, I instantly felt great." No, there were many nights when I just cried, taking care of my skin, and said, "Everything is fine." Although in reality everything was not good at all. I think the main thing I had to face was that I was alone. And that's normal. I don't know. The best way to describe my loneliness is the feeling of a huge black hole swallowing everything around me. It seemed to me that if I was left alone, she would simply

swallow me up and I would cease to exist. I know it doesn't make sense, but that's how I wanted to escape from it. Because I felt: if I'm not with people, then who am I? Another thought that came to mind was: "I will always feel this way." Do you know? I thought I would be lonely, sad, and a failure my whole life, but now I know that's not the case. No amount of sadness will kill me. I'm starting to trust myself, knowing that I can handle it. I know I have the strength to get through this, and often after sleep I feel a little better. Not 100%, but at least 20-30%.

Honestly, a good night's sleep is the best medicine in life. I think after a whole year of practicing this, I've found a better rhythm for my alone time. I enjoy my routine and instead of wasting energy, I feel like I'm regenerating. I do what I know I like. I love making dinner for myself, planning meals, organizing drawers, and when I open them, I think, "Oh my God, I can't believe I did that." I love my skincare ritual. I love evening walks with Chiki. I love to read and write. So, I think it's nice to do these lonely things. I don't feel lonely, I just accept my loneliness. And I feel like I'm really practicing like never before.

I'm really training this " muscle memory." And it's a nice feeling. Today, success looks completely different to me, because as much as I hate to admit it, at 20, my success was completely tied to my channel's metrics. If the channel grew, if the video was successful, I thought, "Yes, I did it." And if something went wrong, I thought, "I'm a failure." I think, especially after I became a mother, it really put everything in its place. And I think that by 2026 I will be able to confidently say that I don't care anymore. After the divorce, I took a short break from social media. And when I returned, I realized-yes, the landscape had radically changed. But now I really don't take algorithms personally. Well, that's just the way it is. And

at this point, if the video goes well, I say, "Great." But if it's not great, I also say: "Great." I'm just thrilled and truly grateful that I still have the platform to do this, especially YouTube. My God, if it weren't for YouTube, I don't even know how I would express myself. For me, success now is about maintaining stability. Maybe the numbers will drop, maybe they will increase a little, but as long as I stay around this level, I will be grateful.

Even if I lose a little, I think, "This is okay." Because I realized: when you relentlessly pursue professional growth, it often only brings more work and more stress. And now that my son is five, I don't want to blink an eye and find that his childhood is already over. For me, it is very sacred. I don't know, maybe in 10 years he will be ashamed to be near me. But now I am his favorite person. Or Ben and I are his favorite people. Do you understand what I mean? When I enter the room, he. Well, you know what I mean? I know these days are limited. And when the day comes when he doesn't want to spend time with me, I'll have to accept it. But I want to know that I was there for him during his childhood as a present and loving mother. That's why I

set clear boundaries when I work. When he comes back from school, I stop working. So, evenings and weekends are strictly reserved for my family. And I really like it. I feel like I finally have a great work- life balance. These are times that I'm going to miss when I'm 85 or, I don't know, when I'm on my deathbed, and I'm going to think, "Damn, I miss when I was 36." Success is not only about maintaining your professional life, but also your personal life. I want to be an attentive mother, a reliable daughter, a sociable co-parent, a balanced and open friend. That's a lot, you know? And if I were to bet everything on having the most successful career,

breaking the algorithm, and creating the most captivating video. Then I wouldn't have time for all this, and I accept that. I'd rather be mediocre at my job but a great family member and friend. This is what success looks like to me. I feel like maybe my creative ambitions to protect this boundary between work and personal life. Honestly, as I turn 36, I really feel like a different person. It's not a 180-degree change, but when I read my notes from 35 years old to who I am now, a lot of changes have happened in those 365 days, and I wouldn't say it was my happiest year,

but it was the best, and I don't know. I'm actually really excited to see what lessons I'll learn from next year. I want to thank you so much for watching this video and for being the community that has seen me in so many of my chapters: the beautiful, the difficult, and even the mundane. If you have any revelations or realizations you would like to share, please write about them in the comments below. I love it when you do that. Okay, see you in the next video. Goodbye.