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Hey there friends. How's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing Samson. I don't really even know what Samson is to be honest with you. I'm just in the mood to play a mixedreed racing/fist fighting kind of game. The St. Louis job was supposed to be my big break. Legendary getaway driver Samson McCrae. Things go sideways, you're on your own. Boy, did they go sideways. Damn. It looks like our protagonist has a complicated past. Tendleston, you owe me. With a chip on his shoulder, huh, I didn't see this coming. I was thinking more like a happy golucky silly sort of a character.
Here we go. Immediately burst into rage. Where's that noise coming from? Got to get that. Oh my god. I want this guy's energy. How you holding up? Hungry. I'm hungry, man. Come feed me. If you look at me from the side, you can't even see me. Oh, place is a ghost. Oh, I'm back. So, this is what it's like to be around me. A human golden retriever. Wa, that was a cool one. That was a cool animation there. He's got some goblin energy. Oh, now all my animations are gone. I used them all up. I guess I'm locked in my house. What the hell do I have to do? This thing is
so goofy. I've not been able to pay attention. Select the job. Make him pay. All right, this sounds innocent enough. Probably just writing a few invoices or something. This guy's having a mental breakdown and the game just started. Oh, wait. Hold on. Yeah, that's more like it. Now we're hitting the road. I can't kick this one, though. Hold up. All right, there we go. Touch my car, you die. You hear me? Oh my god. Oh, you thing of beauty. Just gets on with his day after that.
Oh, there's the same guy. Think you're getting away, do you? I'm goblining after him. Yeah, that's right. It's me again. You forget me? I don't know the buns, by the way, so this is going to get awkward. Jesus. All right. Well, when I did hit him, it counted. That's the main thing. Anyway, best get to those invoices. Pete's got a handwritten note saying when I'm done with the day, I should go back home and rest to regain action points. He thinks he's the main character. That's the problem. Today's missions, just kids. Yeah, I have no problem with that. I'm morally gray. Is that the dude? You're not even a kid.
Unless he's two kids in an overcoat. I missed him. I made it. I made it out. They were going to kill us for sure. Well, look, dude. I'm happy for you and all, but I'm supposed to beat you up for some reason. Actually, maybe not. Maybe wrong place, wrong time. But either way, it's your fault. Let's go to work. Oh, god. I'll be fine. Oh, it's like mom used to say, tomorrow's just yesterday. We're more [__] How did you know my mom used to say that? That's right. It's all about family. Oh, hold on. I'm going to make an entrance. I'm going to swish my hair because you're worth it. And then I'm going to kick. Oh, I think I'm at the wrong place, you know. All right. Who's
ready? Yeah, this is the wrong place. Who's ready? A, this ain't it. Oh, he's just a kid. Anyway, what the hell did I just do? I made the whole fight slippy. Oh, all right. And I think something in my subconscious was holding me back cuz they're kids. Now I'm going to get them. All right, fellas. I read the controls this time, he said as he gets punched in the back of the head. He's got an adrenaline rush. Oh my god. What was it before then? This guy does not need more adrenaline. Oh yeah, that's the feeling right there. But he was downing pills as that stopped. I'm stuck in the barbecue. I don't really want to talk about how it happened.
It's just modern Assassin's Creed, but with a lot more grunting. And sometimes the climbing works, and sometimes this happens. That's cool, too, though. Want to slap all What the hell you say to me? What? Oh my god. How did he do that? Jeez. Guess it doesn't matter. The hell did this thing just spawn in on top of my car? My car's roof is leaking because of you guys. Hey, I'm going to need wheels for this one. What? I just got out of it. Hold on. Let me pull it over 2 ft to the left. There we go. Now I can get the job. Go to the back of the pharmacy. Oh, and this is a big one, too.
[__] And I think I just killed him. Oh no, he has a hard hat on. Good idea if you're an NPC in my games. A I'm wanted now. Take your time. It's fine. Yeah, buckle up. Here you go, mister. Enjoy your evening. By the way, did you like kill anyone back there or N? You don't want to talk about it? Okay, that's cool. I brought the cops to your house, by the way. What does this guy need more of? Aggression, I think. Yeah, let's make him more angry. God damn it. The guy I just dropped off just saw me like hit into three of his neighbors houses on the way out of here. Yeah, I think he's leaving a positive review.
I'm a driver. It's what I do. Get inside jobs and find the manager. Must go to work. Excuse me. I would like to talk to the manager, please. These barrels don't look up to code. All right. I can't knock these barrels, but if I find some that I can, you're in trouble. Shouldn't you be wearing a hairet? Oh my god. I'm so sorry. This guy just works here. Oh, but he had these paracetamol on him. Scumbag. And you? I bet you got the calpal, don't you? I'm doing the job everyone wants done, but no one wants to do. Also, I found a fish that I can use as a melee weapon.
Whatever I go down for in the end, I can plead insanity with the CCTV footage here. I'm just swinging fish around the place. Oh my god, he's got some serious anger issues. Listen here, scumbag. Where's the manager? Tell me where he is. Oh, coming from behind while I'm fighting your colleague here, huh? I'm not going to give you any more context. Oh, you know what? I will. I'm inside this gate. Anyway, now that he's allowing us inside, too, let's beat up the manager.
Was I supposed to talk to him? I just want a job. Damn, I failed the interview. Oh man, no way. I'm all the way out here. I haven't played a game like this in ages. I don't want my silly actions to have consequences. Swinging air here. You see, it looks like he's about to punch me in the throat, and that looks bad for me. But I do have a fish in my right hand. Yeah, I thought so. I got unlimited fish, boys. There's nothing you can do. You may as well surrender now. Why is he a driver? You know, he's so good at throwing fish. He saw the Fast and the Furious once and he's like, "Yeah, this is me."
Damn, I folded him in half. May as well add littering to my crime sheet. Oh, most of them went under the table. Oh, this place is going to stink tomorrow. Also, on account of the bodies, I just stopped him midfight for a little hug. I gave him a little timeout moment. Come out. Fish time. All right, I felt that one. Do I just kill him or what? Uh-oh. Slippery [__] Yeah, you wait till I get my hands on more fish. You see how slippery I am? Oh, this game is comedy. I did it, boss.
He's dead. And I made it look like an accident, too. He slipped on some fish and then they all kind of went down like dominoes. Just in case anyone else is here. I'm going to look like an absolute lunatic. I'll [__] you up. Oh no, he still wants to engage with that. What? Okay, I think a ghost helped me there. We already know ghosts are real from this game. What? Oh, hell yeah. This ghost is awesome.
Oh, sorry. Wrong combo buttons. There we go. That's for you, sis. Why does it always freeze frame at the worst moment? It's been a long day of keeping the streets clean and doing what needs to be done on behalf of my community. Now it's time to All right. Well, at least I got an achievement. I think I just lost like all my money. I worked all day for that and they just took it from me. Current death 100,000. Where is this set? America. Listen up, lady. Give me my money. Good to have you back, Sam. What a horrible thing to say to someone. Good to have you back when you're in the emergency room on your deathbed. Hate that lady. Can't believe I can't attack
her. All right, back to my mission. Well, it's the first mission I failed. And it's a pretty tough one cuz it's bedtime and I got the zooies over here and the goblins, too. I just got a bit of everything. I got all the energy. I used to be proud to call this city my own. Not anymore. Uh-uh. What the? Your body language doesn't really match your conversation. This whole damn city is going to hell. Okay, don't say the H word, lady. That on top of your body language is about to get you a beatd down.
Going to Hannah. She said it again. She knows what she did. Keeping the streets clean, one scumbag at a time. Oh, pills. Nice. Oh, Jesus. If I did that much damage with a fish, what can I do with a hammer and whatever that thing was that I sent through the wall? That would have been cool, too. Oh, that damn noise again. But I'm trying now. I am trying to keep the wolves at bay. He's keeping the wolves up at bay. You should have seen this lady on the street two minutes ago. She said hell twice. Yep. You saved my life, sis. Wait, he's talking to his sis. Oh my god, it is about family. I didn't see this one coming. This goes deeper than I ever could have imagined. Bedtime. It's bedtime. My favorite time of the day.
I'm so excited for bedtime. I'll have this debt paid off soon, sis. Oh, and all the energy is gone immediately. I killed 21 people for $525. 99,500 to go. Hey, how about we raise a glass or two to your return? Swing by the double tap tonight. I'm buying. Oh yeah. You know what? This guy needs alcohol. The hell? You can't attack me like that. That's it. If it's a fight you want, then I'm going to run you over in my car. Hey, no. I'm the main character.
Pay your bills, [__] Ah, human trash on the trash bags where I belong. And I lost nearly all of my money again. She's like, "Ah, so happy to see you back here. Always brightens my day when you get horribly, horribly injured. Maybe one day you'll even die." Oh, neat maneuver. Maybe you are a good driver. Oh, finally an actual driving mission. What the hell? What was that animation? Anyway, got to get back to being the main character, ignoring all these NPCs. Oh, no, no, no. That's not what I wanted to do. I Sorry about that. I think they had a baby on board sticker and when my guy saw it, he just couldn't resist. Impulse took over.
Okay, so I can do this. Apparently, I can't do this. I can do this side ram thing, which is what I did to that poor civilian earlier with the twins in the back. You know you're doing well when a car chase loops and you're doing the same path once again. Wait, I got a damage boost here. How do I have a damage boost in my Oh god, he's just angry enough to make it happen. Wait, it did extra damage to my car. What the hell, man? Control yourself, please. I'm the main character. What the hell, man?
How's that feel? He probably didn't even feel it, to be honest. I think this guy's just doing some insurance fraud. He's been pumping the brakes a bit. You kidding me? Oh my god. What have I done? What have I'm just sliding all over the road. I got one of them. Now on to the next. Not good. You got to die, too. I'm sorry. Not really. He probably did some crime at some point in his life. Loitering maybe.
Disgusts me. It barely even does anything. And it must be so painful for my guy. I should just bring fish and throw fish out the window at him. Okay, finally. I think he did a lot more damage to me. Well, at least it'll make my doctor happy. Get inside the lumber mill. Am I going to beat people up again? I hope there's fish in here. Oh my god. We're going to Kevin Street. It's a sign. Oh no, wait. It's Nevin Street. Yeah, the popular name Nevin. Oh, you look like me, but cleaner and less misunderstood. You want to fight?
Game on. If you win, you can be the main character, but I got to warn you, you'll be the main character of this game. I'm lagging so much. It's probably on account of that beautiful hair physics. Let me enjoy my hair. God damn it. Get out of my way, you piece of [__] His eyes when he dies are terrifying. Don't wave at me. No, that makes it even weirder. Shake it off. Shake it off, he says. He pretends it bothers him. Oh, wait. Can I lure you out onto the street? That would work.
Wait, hold on. Let me put it in reverse. Thank you. You're much more polite than the guys earlier. What? No, we wanted to kill him. He's the bad guy. Well, debatable. Let's jack some load. Don't hide behind the pallets. You got to fight me now. You've seen me. Reversing over them is really effective. They try and dodge if you drive toward them, but reversing, they don't know what's going on. They've never seen a car move backwards before. Hey, I'm the guy from a while ago.
Oh, sorry. No, we had a peace agreement. I'm sorry, man. But I can control this main character's aggression. I smell a fight around the corner. Time to down four boxes of painkillers. I'm ready. Oh my god. Maybe not for this. Great. Now I got these guys after me while I look for the cardboard box. What the hell was that? The guy just Mario jumped. Learn to drive, idiot. That feels specifically for me. Is it one of these boxes? No, it's not one of those boxes. Oh no. Trying to get an aerial view here, just like Assassin's Creed, but I can't find that box. What's this? Oh, nice.
You're dealing with my anger. The fact that every box was covered with a light on a table and then they put the last one on the roof with nothing pointing toward it. No, dude. Please. No. The animation to get in and out of vehicles is so damn long. And he's parked in front of these boxes. How did he even get in here? You know, okay, that didn't go as it does in the Fast and the Furious films. Nice. This thing's falling apart. The hell? I touched it so lightly. I'm no Vin Diesel. I'm just Samson. Now that is how you do it. There he is.
Why do these people like him? Why are they excited to see him? With you back, we can turn this around. Samson neighborhood's [__] Yeah, I had to beat up that old lady last night. Another guy at the start. I can't remember what he did, but he seemed pretty sketchy. [__] you, Carter. Oh man, that was one of the few people who actually likes me. Whoa, there was a ghost there again. Did you guys see that? Is that the shooter? Is he just watching me get in the car? Do I knock him down? I See what I mean? They always just dodge that, but then when you go backwards, they're just like, "I guess I'll just die then."
God damn it. That was the shooter. Okay, they sent their best hitman after us. Nate's in a bad way. Yeah, I don't care. I got one of them. I got revenge rather than saving him. What's Samson even looking at? He's refusing to even look at Nate. He's in a world of his own. He's just refusing to acknowledge this. Chapter completed. Yeah, I'm really cleaning up the neighborhood. Once the rest of me and my crew die, the neighborhood will be a much safer place.
Baby, I've been in car chases with the police that have been less distracting than you. Thank you so much. It's the hair, isn't it? Oh god, the game did not like that. How silly of me to accept the mission while standing near my car. Oh, sorry. I meant to talk to you and I always get fight and talk confused. You shouldn't be here. What the hell? I was in a cut scene, bro. Wait, these are the guys from earlier. What the hell? Hold on. Cut scene. I'll be right with you. Oh, I even turned off the lights when I got in the car, hoping they'd just forget about
me. Oh, wait. I think they disappeared. Sorry, brother. I be fighting ghosts sometimes. Ah, mission's broke now. All right, fair enough. I guess we'll leave it there then. Thank you for watching Call Me Samson and I hope to see you next time.
