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Today, I'm playing Subnautica 2. It's exactly like BioShock. I'm playing as Marcus Felix. He's the most beloved character from the Subnautica franchise of games. There's my oxygen meter. It's like one of those games where you have to like manually breathe. You are the QI. I'm more like the QA for every game after they release. You are burning in slow motion under 60 atmospheres of pressure. I don't know if I have time to read all this, robot. It sounds like I'm dying. From the door to the adaptation chamber. Your pristine body can borrow tricks from indigenous life. Really going out for a long time here. You'll be better. The last pioneer didn't make it to the life pod. Yeah, I wonder why. I'm now entering the adaptation hallway.
I'm going to adapt Catcher in the Rye into like one of those farming games. Your body can adapt survival traits from a Zizanian rat. Oh, yeah. Turn me into a little rat like Ratatouille. Yeah, that's my favorite game. Oh, yeah. Insert your hand into that thing. Vital signs stabilizing. I can now breathe air. This is a heavily water-based game. So, of course we got to pay close attention to the water graphics. It's not quite at that BioShock level that you like to see, but you know, it's early access. So, there's still like 50 years to fix it. This is the guy from Portal 2. My full name is Noetic Advisor Node ISV CIDSB3.
Nah, you're just Wheatley from Portal 2. Begin. I can't release the life pod. Launch it. Launch sequence aborted. Don't give me that. I'm the QI. Launch it. I can't release the life pod. If I was working with Wheatley, too, we would already have beaten the game already. Oh, now this is the classic part where it shows you like Rapture and like Andrew Ryan shows up. Wake up. No. I only have to wake up if you say, "Would you kindly wake up?" It's like Simon Says rules. This is like a big cactus. Locating colony gives you your best chance of survival.
This is like Oh, that electrocutes you. That's electrocution plant. I'll eat the bubble for air like Sonic. Okay, nice. Pick up a water slug. I'll pick that up. I never played Subnautica 1. Do you just should I consume this creature? Stomach failure. I have a digestive incompatibility with this creature. This is like your Minecraft workbench I guess. I can craft fins. I can't green water taste like pickles. I can't eat that. Oh, this is the bubble maker. So as long as there's a bubble maker I can just kind of explore. This is an oxygen tunic. Should I do should I pick that up? Oh, that
hurts me but it's good but it kills me. Oh, but I'm dying. I got such a good collection of these slugs. I have like a hundred of them in my inventory. Give me that fish. Got to add this guy to my collection. And give me this. I'm doing really good so far. Look out YouTube, I'm crafting the survival multi-tool. I'll be able to survive through multiple situations using this thing. I took a wrench from BioShock I guess. I'm going to cook this guy up.
Oh, every time I eat a fish it kills me. Oh, I'm going to go hit this guy with my hammer. Take that. He doesn't care. Now in BioShock you had to battle like splicers and stuff. In this game you're battling more like it's more of like a battle against kelp. Yes. I'm building a salad. You guys didn't think I would get the salad dessert. Dig in. Oh, the salad kills me. Why couldn't it be pizza? Should I eat another fish? Oh, that kills us. Diving in the ocean, coming out the ocean, putting on my lotion. Uh, collecting cradle shoot loops, eating lots of fruit loops. This is who I am.
Oh, it's getting dark. It's getting a Oh, look at this. It's like a bowling alley down here. Oh, [groaning] Jack Sponge is in this? What is this? This is like a dual fish. Look at this. It's two for the price of one. And they love humans. He loves me. I can use these eggs to make rubber. My food meter is kind of declining. So, I'm just going to eat another food. to digest this one. Now I have to seek medical attention. Who's this guy? It's like a big angel fish. Oxygen. How did I run out of oxygen already? I just started. This is what the gorgonites eat from small soldiers.
What I love about this game is that none of the fish are mean to you. They're all nice. I can make fins now. I've unlocked fins. Boom. They call me finned up Felix. All right, let's see how fast I go now with the new increased fin power. Oh, yeah. That's like a 3% increase in speed now. That's like almost noticeably even. Oh, who is this guy? I like this little guy. What I'm with this. I'm now going into the sunken Titanic. Oxygen. All right, I'm going back to get oxygen, actually. The rules are simple.
Keep the perimeter sensors on alarm, no matter how many false positives you get, and do not go out alone. They are hunting us. We don't know why. Someone made a mistake a long time ago, and we have to live with it. I don't got time to listen to this. I'm running out of oxygen. Seek caloric intake. No, no, no. I'm not falling for that again. No. Cannot digest this one's life. I have to like adapt a fish's genes or something. Find a convenient way to die. Okay, I'll Reprint complete. Yay. So, the best way to fill up your food bar is just die and come back to life. Oh, granola bars.
Granola bars. Wait. Wait, I can eat granola bars for food and not have to die. Oxygen. I'm so good at this. Um wait, I'm running out of oxygen. I'm going to die. Are you tired of death and fear? No. Do you feel the call of the tree? Yeah. I printed 26 colonists. That sucks. I printed 100 pictures of Bowser naked. She said you had a knack for holding things. Knack. Computer, switch to Knack. Now you speak my language. All right, I guess I'm looking for a copper right now.
Maybe the police station will have some. Time to get moving. Looking for a copper. Going to eat a viper, but I cannot eat that cuz I'm not the bully man. I do not have fish like hands. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Y'all know what I mean. Looking for the copper. People always tell me you look like Dennis Hopper. I don't look like copper. I look more like viper. This looks like a copper infused cave. I'm so far down in an underwater I'm so brave. All right, I just found a battery. I can now craft a legendary item of the scanner. 4546B. Look at that. Scan that dome. Scan that Boom. Now I know about domes. Yeah.
Yeah. Tell me about that dome. Do a Oh, tell me about the dual feeding strategy. Of course. Yes. Tell me about mineral expulsion. Whatever happened to the Gorgonites? Uh-huh. Boy, look at all these fishies. Ooh. Ocean. I'm swimming in the ocean. My name is Frank Ocean. I'm swimming in the desert. Now my name is Frank Desert. Everybody knows that Frank Desert likes peanuts. Scan this kelp. Yeah. Now I know all about kelp. Call me Frank Kelp. Frank Smith with the F the silent. I know that Frank Desert only loves to eat peanuts on Sunday and he eats on Monday. Come on, do something
cool. All systems online. Power connected. Welcome back by a new All systems online. I'm Sophie Bouchet, Corporal Dyce Sergeant. We call this planet Proteus. We don't know when the rescue will find us. Sergeant here. Same as me, done. I'm also talking about the thing, too, just so you know. All right, now I just got to get titanium, quartz, copper. I got some of that. Get a builder, too. I don't know what that is. Wave it around. Check the battery. Get comfortable. Build a corridor. Put a solar panel on top. You must have power to make air. Put a hatch at the end. Go inside. Build lockers, fabricator.
I'm just going to go eat a jellyfish. [groaning] I like fish. If this was Starfield, I could swim up to that planet. Give me that grouper fish. Eat him. Just walking around chomping on fish now. I'm going to go into this little cave here. This looks cool. Oh, look at this. Ah, that is cool. I'm going to swim right through this. Shoom.
I'm being surrounded by like a lot of these bite fish. So, maybe I don't want to be by all these bite fish. Oh, no. [screaming] Ram me now. Ram me. You can't. Try it. See what happens. I'm too fast. I'm much too fast for you. You have to remember I beat Subnautica 1 on legendary. What's up, MTV? My name is Fix-It Felix, and welcome to my house. I'm in Korea. Welcome aboard. I customized this place myself with the ceiling light. Over here is a window.
Ever hear of one of these kids? Oh my goodness. I actually did find Rapture from BioShock now. They were trying to build a life. Farms and bio mods that could support 40,000 sleeping souls. But they didn't make it. But they were probably playing more like Minecraft whereas I'm playing it more like Pal World. Dr. Wu's log. Is that really Dr. Wu? Day 755. I just did share with a man I must knew. You may be the very last human being in the universe. What am I doing here? I ask you to do the most human thing you can. Okay, I'm thinking long-term goal in this now.
Underwater restaurant. Ooh, the wake maker. Your restaurant idea is dead to me. I'm going to use the wake maker to make a Alan Wake part three. Alan Wake would be so proud of me for this. Behold the power of the flashlight. I can now see crabs better at night. The gas station was closer now. It's light welcoming the darkness. I needed to find Carl Stucky to get the key to the cabin.
